The media outlets had a standing agreement with Dunder-Mifflin corporate. Any and all promotions, interviews, shoots, and/or anything else that might take the Dunder-Mifflin staff away from the office had to be done on Fridays only. Corporate had made the generous concession that every Dunder-Mifflin employee would receive five additional paid days for publicity purposes, under the condition that the publicity: a) mentioned Dunder Mifflin, b) was not obscene or generally offensive (i.e., no nudity, no crass language) and c) was always completed on a Friday. In addition to getting the paid day off, most of the staff received payment from the various media outlets for their appearances, whether it was in perks (free travel) or actual dollars and cents.No one had too much cause to argue about it, except for Angela, who felt that most media outlets were a part of the "left-wing degradation of today's society" and pretty much refused to have any part of it. (She did, incidentally, appear for an interview in Cat Fancy and Christianity Today, but those were her stout and only exceptions.)
Now that the show had taken off in popularity and new episodes were set to release in another month, they were receiving calls almost daily. To handle this new stream of appointments and opportunities, Jan Levinson had hired a publicist for the Scranton branch that would handle all their appointments, set up photo shoots, take phone calls and decide who said what when and where.
Because there was a delay between what episodes the public had seen and actual time lapsed, all the employees at the Scranton branch were set to strict confidentiality. The last episode that had aired in mid-August was called "The Fire." That involved the incident where Ryan had accidentally set the toaster oven in the kitchen to "bake" instead of "toast" and inadvertently started a fire in the building. The office had spent most of the morning outside playing question games to pass the time while Dwight had moped about Michael liking "the Temp" better.
At the time, Jim had been dating Katy, and Pam was still engaged to Roy. As far as the general public knew, both couples were still together. In reality, things had actually taken quite a turn in the opposite direction. Almost ironically so.
That was the main reason why Jim was so nervous about meeting at the office at 7 AM that Friday morning to go to a publicity photo shoot in New York City. According to their publicist, Patty, it would be Jim, Pam, Roy, Katy, Ryan, and Kelly all heading up to New York that day. The magazine was sending a limo, so they would all be taking the two-and-a-half hour ride together.
What Jim was not aware of, was the fact that sometime in-between the falling out between Roy and Pam, and his coming back to Scranton, Katy and Roy had actually started seeing each other. He found this out when he walked into the warehouse that morning to see Katy and Roy making out.
"Whoa!" Jim said, louder than he meant to.
They both looked over at him, at first surprised, but then with something of a knowing smirk. Kind of like when you walked by the cool kids table in high school and they gave you that look. That, "what are you looking at?" look. Jim swallowed.
"So," he said, noticing his voice starting to crack. He cleared his throat. "Er... so you two are dating now, huh?"
Roy shrugged, and slung his arm around Katy. Katy raised her eyebrows at Jim. She said: "Well, you know -- Roy and I have a lot more in common than you and I did." She shrugged as well.
Jim started to roll his eyes, then stopped himself. He glanced at the door, as if willing for someone else -- anyone else -- to walk through. No one did. "Yeah," he said tersely. "Guess so."
Jim went over to the side and sat down on a pile of paper boxes. He glanced over at Katy and Roy, who still had their hands all over each other. He had to admit, there probably wasn't a more perfect match in the world (the cheerleader and the football player -- c'mon). It still didn't stop the pang of jealousy that hit him. He remembered the time when he was dating Katy. It hadn't been a long relationship -- maybe about five months -- during which time they were only seriously seeing each other for about three months. Still, the sex had been good. It was about the only good thing in that relationship.
She was boring, vapid, unfunny, and talked about things he had no interest in - like what was going on with Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie, or why didn't she have Mischa Barton's body? -- whoever the hell that was. He tried to tell her about the silly things that happened at the office that day, but she was never interested in hearing about it. She commented once that he really seemed to talk about Pam a lot. After that, Jim never talked about the office, or Pam, for that matter. She was usually the one that brought it up -- always when they were around Pam and Roy. "Oh, look how cute they are," and "That is so great for them." Usually he just wanted to tell her to shut the hell up.
Instead, he just ignored her, or distracted her by kissing her on the neck, or touching her hand, or stroking her leg. As soon as the attention was back to herself, she forgot all about Pam and Roy, which was all Jim needed.
So, yeah, the sex was a welcome distraction from everything else he despised about Katy. She had a great body, and really knew what to do with it. He'd heard a few rumors that she'd "gotten around," but at that point, he didn't really care, because he was pretty much just using her for sex, anyway.
It was a horrible thought, actually. He'd never been the kind of guy that would date a girl just to have sex with her, but honestly -- the whole Pam thing was driving him to all sorts of extreme measures.
Their break-up on the Booze Cruise had been awful. By the time they got back on shore, Katy insisted on taking a cab home, and they hadn't talked since. She hadn't even asked for her underwear back. (The purple and pink satin thongs from Victoria's Secret that she'd left at his place.) He ended up burning them in the fireplace a few weeks later.
Today, she looked just as good as ever: she was wearing a mint-green terry-cloth jogging suit that fit her body in all the right places with a thin, white camisole underneath that showed just the right amount of cleavage. Man, that girl was all about the cleavage. She knew exactly how to show it off and she did so on a consistent basis. Jim had never gotten as many stares from other guys as when he was with Katy.
Roy wasn't looking too bad, himself. He had lost a lot of weight since he and Pam had broken up, and was now sporting a full beard, which, strangely, suited him. He wondered if they were going to make him shave it for the photo shoot or if they'd just leave it. Roy was in his usual uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. Katy must have been shopping for him, though, because it wasn't one of the ratty sports T-shirts Jim had seen him wear to various parties they'd both attended. It was a plain, heather gray t-shirt with a thin neck collar. He glanced down at Roy's feet and saw he was wearing new black shoes. Seeing that made Jim smile, but feel sad at the same time. Pam never could have gotten Roy to go shopping with her. And never to buy something that like. Weird.
Just then, Pam walked through the door to the warehouse. She glanced quickly at Roy and Katy, who were involved in an intimate conversation. They both glanced quickly at her as she walked by, but kept talking to one another, ignoring her completely. Pam looked at Jim with wide eyes and made a beeline for him.
He smiled as he watched her approach. Her outfit was much simpler: she had on a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt that said FDNY in large navy letters, and her lightweight pink trench coat. And, of course, her white Keds. Her hair was pulled back in its usual style, and she looked adorable. Jim could not have been happier to see her.
"Thank God you're here," he hissed to her as she got within earshot.
She sat down next to him, glancing over at Katy and Roy again, and then back at him. "What is going on?" she asked, her eyes still wide with shock.
"Well," he said, leaning into her, "apparently, Roy and Katy are seeing each other now...?" He looked at her with his trademark-puzzled expression.
Her jaw dropped at him. "Are you kidding me?" she whispered, looking at them again. They were also stealing glances at Jim and Pam, and laughing to themselves. It was like the "cool kids" versus "the dorks" in the cafeteria. It made Jim uncomfortable.
Jim shrugged, eager to change the subject. "So," he said. "Are you excited about this shoot?"
She smiled widely at him. "I don't know. I've never done anything like this before. I mean, we've had our pictures taken at work, but you know, that's in the office, with our regular clothes, and -- hey -- do you think we'll get to wear new clothes and they'll do our make-up and hair?"
Jim gave her an incredulous look. "Of course!" he said, grinning back at her. "Although, I don't know, Beesly, do you think you'll be able to handle wearing an outfit that's worth more than three month's rent?"
"I don't know..." she said, smiling at him.
They had been instructed by Patty to wear "comfortable clothing" that morning and to keep any styling to a minimum. Pam had just washed her hair and after scrunching it out, let it air dry. That was her usual routine, for the most part, but today, she didn't put any mousse in her hair. As a result, the curls were more relaxed. Jim liked the way her hair felt that day. He ran his fingers through the back of her head, rubbing the nape of her neck. She hit his arm, but no one could see what he was doing. He winked at her, and moved his arm away.
The warehouse door opened again, and the stream of conversation was fast and almost indecipherable. "So, like, I said to Kristi, we totally need to do this again some time, because Ian is a totally cool guy and I'm so glad she's dating him, but you know, it's hard for us all to go out together because Ian works nights and you know, but maybe just Kristi could come and hang out, you know, when we're all just hanging out, and we could hang out..."
It was Kelly, who had Ryan with her. As soon as Ryan spotted Jim and Pam, his eyes grew wide. It was his typical, "Save me," expression. There were at least a dozen of these exchanged with Jim or other various co-workers at points throughout any given workday, whether it be due to Kelly talking his ear off incessantly, or Michael making yet another pseudo-erotic comment to him.
Jim kind of thought that Ryan got himself into these situations, but problems involving Michael were almost unavoidable. Kelly, on the other hand...
"How's it going, Ryan? Kelly?" Jim stood up quickly and reached Ryan halfway, patting him on the arm.
Unfortunately, before Ryan could respond, Kelly quickly started up again. "Oh my God, Jim, are you just so excited about this like I am? Do you think we'll see any celebrities when we're in New York? Oh my God, I've never been in a magazine before; I can't believe we got picked to be in GQ magazine, that is sooo cool, even though it'd be even cooler if we were in Elle, or Vogue, or Cosmopolitan, oh my God, I love Cosmopolitan, I always take their quizzes..."
"Hey, so do I," Katy said, causing Kelly to actually stop for a minute to look at her.
"That is so cool," she said to Katy, looking at her, and then at Roy, sitting next to her. It took her a second, then: "Oh my God, you guys are totally dating, aren't you? That is crazy, I can't believe it, especially since Jim used to date you, and Roy used to be engaged to Pam, weird..." She trailed off suddenly, looking back at Jim and Pam. She must have realized that pointing that out would be somewhat uncomfortable. Or maybe not, because then she said to Jim and Pam: "Hey, you guys aren't dating, are you?"
Jim blushed for a moment. At first, he didn't know how to respond to that. He had only been back in the Scranton office for just over a week, and they hadn't really discussed their relationship in any real depth. In fact, due to the fact that they were trying to keep things under wraps, they had only gotten together twice in the last week, at Jim's new apartment. He decided to play the safe route: "No, we're just friends."
Pam looked at him in relief. They had sort of agreed that they were going to try and keep their relationship private for as long as possible, which meant not only the general public, but the office as well. It was the latter that would prove to be the true challenge, he knew. No one could keep secrets in that office.
"Wow, that's weird," Kelly said, "because we all totally thought you'd get together..."
Jim shrugged, and so did Pam.
"I mean, how funny would that be -- you and Pam, Ryan and I, Roy and Katy -- totally..." She stopped talking when she noticed the look that Ryan was giving her.
Jim couldn't help but smile, though. He held back the urge to start laughing. Before, it would have just made him angry when Kelly said something so completely inappropriate, but now, he just didn't care. Who cared about anything now that he had Pam?
He looked at Pam, and she was holding back a smile as well. It was going to be so hard to keep this secret from everyone.
===
Not long after they all arrived, Patty burst through the warehouse door. She was a short, curvy woman with super-bright red hair (the type you instantly knew was dyed) and always had on bright red lipstick and Christian Dior sunglasses. She carried a Hermes purse with a scarf tied onto it, and usually wore outfits that were slightly outrageous. Today was no exception: she was wearing a gold-trimmed denim blazer with a gold lame shirt underneath and a long, black pencil skirt that flared out at the bottom and made her ass stick out more than usual. On her feet were gold-tone, high-heel shoes ("Jimmy Choos!") Jim only knew what types of accessories she always wore because Kelly mentioned them to him every time Jim saw her -- in the break room -- at lunch -- in meetings -- on the way out of the warehouse... Jim probably knew more about the outfits that Patty wore than he knew about his own.
Patty had a very short temperament and believed that everything they were doing needed to be done faster. True to form, she started in on them right away: "Chop-chop, everyone, the limo's outside, we're already fifteen minutes late, and in this morning traffic, we're never going to make it to Manhattan before ten, which will be a disaster. Let's go, everyone!"
When they stepped outside, they saw the limo the magazine had provided: a huge, stretch Hummer limo.
"Holy shit," Roy said.
Roy had wanted to get a Hummer limo for the wedding, but they'd ruled it out in the end because it would have been too much money. It didn't matter now, since they'd never gotten married. And now, they were riding in one to New York City!
Everyone "oohed" and "ahhed" as they got into the huge limo. Pam had never been in a limo before. Either had Roy. They had wanted to get one for prom, but instead, one of their friend's parents lent their BMW for the weekend, so Pam and Roy had shared a ride to prom in that. Up to that point, it was the nicest car Pam had ever been in.
This one definitely took the cake.
Jim had been in a limo for his sister's wedding, but it was just a regular Lincoln stretch limo, and not even one of the newer models. It had been an older model with cheesy gold-framed mirrors and glassware that was frosted from too much washing in hard water.
This was completely different. It was huge, for one, with a bar area on one side of the limo and a flat-screen TV that hung down from the ceiling. MTV was playing on the television. The seats were made of comfortable, thick leather that you sunk down into when you sat in them, and the ceiling was a strange combination of mirror and fiber-optic lights that gave the interior a surreal feel. The windows were deeply tinted, and you couldn't see inside at all when you were standing outside of the car.
Even Ryan had to comment: "This is pretty sweet."
Patty explained that she would be sitting up front with the driver, so if they needed anything, they could just roll down the partition and ask. She emphasized the fact that they needed to be alert and ready to go once they got there, and that it would be a long day. "Also, if you guys are nervous, there's some champagne and orange juice to help you relax, so help yourselves. This is all compliments of the magazine. She winked at them as she was shutting the door. "Enjoy it while you can!"
"Wow," Jim said as the front doors shut and they started rolling. "This really is pretty amazing."
"I know," Pam said. "I've never been in a limo like this."
"You've never been in a limo at all," Roy shot out from across the car.
"Yeah, well, either have you," she shot back at him, folding her arms across her chest.
"Seriously," Ryan said, breaking the tension. "It's pointless for us to argue. We're getting a free ride to New York, we've got free champagne -- what are we waiting for?"
===
Five minutes later, Kelly was pouring mimosas for everyone, all the while noticing that the magazine had provided them with Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label Champagne ("This is like, fifty dollars a bottle!")
Everyone had settled in and was sipping their champagne when Katy said, "I think we should play a game."
Jim immediately sat up. "I don't know if that's a good idea..."
"Why not?" Roy asked. "We've got a two-and-a-half hour drive. We have to kill the time somehow. What else are we going to do?"
Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. Jim spoke up again: "Well, what are you thinking about?"
Katy smiled. It was a cunning smile, and he knew there was nothing good about to come out of her mouth. "I was thinking... truth or dare."
Pam was the one who interjected this time. "Oh, no," she said. "We are definitely not playing that. It always just leads to trouble, and I mean, honestly --" She looked at Katy, straight on. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"
Katy didn't answer that. Instead, Kelly interjected: "How about 'Would You Rather?'"
Everyone in the car pretty much agreed that would be more acceptable, so they started in on a game of that.
===
They had already gone through two-and-a-half bottles of champagne, and the game of "Would You Rather" had turned a bit raunchy. Kelly was asking Jim: "Okay, okay -- would you rather have sex with Michael, or Todd Packer?"
"God, neither," Jim said, pretending to gag. He nearly spilled his drink doing so. Pam was laughing hysterically next to him. She was already buzzed, apparently. Jim smiled at her.
"You have to chose one!" Kelly said. "That's the rule!"
"Well, if I had to choose one, I guess it'd have to be Michael, because he has shown a few redeeming qualities... and Michael doesn't have a head that looks like a butt plug."
Roy started laughing out loud. "How would you know what a butt plug looks like, Halpert?"
"My roommate is flaming. He's shown he all his toys." Jim shrugged.
"What?" Roy asked. "Really?"
"No, not really," Jim said, starting to laugh. Everyone else in the limo cracked up as well, except for Roy, who looked puzzled for a moment.
"Jim's roommate has a girlfriend!" Pam said, giggling uncontrollably.
Roy shook his head. Kelly said: "Okay, Jim, it's your turn."
Jim thought for a moment and smiled. "Hm, all right -- Roy."
Roy looked up in surprise.
"Royyyy..." he drew out his name, his mouth pursed into an "o" shape. "Would you rather... make out with Angela in front of the entire office, including Dwight, or ... play strip poker with Madge?"
"Who's Angela again?" Roy asked.
Jim smirked. "Oh, you know - that 'tight-ass blonde Christian chick' that works in our office." Jim was smiling, but stopped when he turned to Pam and saw the look on her face. He realized he probably shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have asked the question at all, but Roy went on like nothing weird had ever happened.
"Oh - oh, yeah," he said, "the one who I picked in 'Who Would You Do,' right?"
He really was as dumb as a box of rocks. Jim couldn't help but sneak a smile again. "Oh, yeah, that's the one," he said, not looking at Pam. This isn't about you, Pam, he thought to himself. You're not with him anymore.
"Totally - make out with Angela. She's kind of hot."
Katy hit him on the arm, then, hard. "Hey!" she said, making a face at him.
Jim ignored Katy. "And ignore the wrath of Dwight -- interesting," he said.
"What does that mean?" Roy asked.
Obviously: he had no idea of the various romances and politics of their office. Jim should have known Pam hadn't been telling him about that kind of stuff.
"Dwight and Angela are totally dating," Kelly said. "Duh - everyone knows that. It's totally creepy, and stuff."
Ryan didn't interject anything, but studied everyone with a certain sense of fascination. It was nice to not be the center of awkward attention for once.
"That guy is a wimp. I could totally beat him up," Roy said. He looked right at Jim. "You know?" It was almost like he was challenging Jim to admit that he was the true cause of his break-up with Pam, so he could tell Jim he'd beat him up, too.
Jim just nodded. "Dwight is a brown-belt, though."
"Yeah, but Michael beat him up!" Kelly said, giggling. "Roy... it's your turn."
"Hm," Roy said, looking around the limo, then settling him eyes on Pam. She turned white. "Pam," he said. Roy looked at her with an intensity Jim had never seen before. "Would you rather ..." There was a long pause. Jim watched Roy closely. He wondered if he was debating whether to ask that question. Jim or Roy? Which would you rather have?
Katy looked at Roy. "What's the question?"
"Um," Roy said. He shook his head, and then said, "Okay, Pam -- would you rather make out with Katy, or Kelly?"
She laughed at the question, mostly in relief. "Kelly," she said instantly, and turned to Katy, her eyes going wide. "No offense, of course, I know Kelly, and it would probably be less weird." She looked at Kelly. "At least, I think it would."
Kelly giggled. "It'd still be weird, kind of."
"I'd put twenty dollars on that," Ryan said. Everyone turned to look at him. He hadn't said anything since his last turn almost twenty minutes ago.
"Is that a bet?" Jim asked, gesturing like he was going for his wallet. Pam slapped his arm.
"No!" she said, yanking at it.
"I've got twenty dollars that says Pam won't do it," Roy said, actually reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
"Oh, stop it," Katy said, hitting Roy's arm.
"I'm in," Jim said, grinning. "Kiss, kiss, kiss..." he chanted, shaking his right fist in front of him.
Pam looked at Jim, pleading. Someone must have been listening (a higher power, perhaps?), because the partition rolled down at that moment, and Patty's voice boomed through the limo. "We're stopping at McDonald's if anyone needs a bathroom break or anything else. Last stop before the city."
"I need to go," Pam said, almost bolting for the door as soon as the limo stopped.
Jim grinned at Ryan as they all piled out of the limo. "So close..." Jim said.
===
By the time they got back into the limo, no one was interested in playing games anymore. Kelly started reading an US magazine, Pam started listening to music on her Prism DuroSport, Roy and Katy snuggled up together (Jim immediately noticed Pam staring intensely out the window once she'd noticed that), and Ryan and Jim turned the TV so they could see what was on. "Do you think we can get ESPN on this?" Ryan asked.
"I don't know; the Eagles have a preseason game today that I really wanted to check out," Jim said.
Ryan found a remote and they started flipping.
"This is about the coolest thing I've ever done -- watched TV while riding in a ridiculously large limo." Jim grinned. "Can't complain."
"Seriously," Ryan said.
The ride into the city took about another forty-five minutes. The limousine dropped them off in front of the Conde Nast building on 42nd street in New York. It was an impressive concrete and glass building that stretched forty-eight stories high (according to Patty, anyway). The glass windows on the upper floors were reflective and mirrored the surrounding buildings. Everyone stepped out and immediately looked up in awe. Everyone, that was, except for Patty, who told them that they didn't have time to stand and gawk - they were running late.
The lobby was two stories, and had an impressively high ceiling with glass and huge escalators and a coffee shop and several newsstands and shops on the main level. Everywhere around them, young, excessively thin people in tailored, expensive clothing rushed in and out of the building. Pam had never seen anything like it in her life. She'd been to New York a few times with her family and with Roy, but they had always done touristy things like going to the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty, or going to see a Broadway show. This was a totally different world. She checked her purse to make sure she'd brought a sketchpad with her. If they had any downtime, she was definitely going to try and draw some pictures of what they saw.
Kelly, meanwhile, was freaking out in usual fashion. She had her digital camera out and was taking pictures of everything. "Oh my God, this is totally the building where the Vogue offices are. What if we saw Anna Wintour? Do you think she's anything like that book that was written about her? I mean, I know they totally said it was fiction, but it was totally her, because the girl who wrote that worked for her and totally wrote it about it her. Wouldn't that be crazy if we saw her? I can't believe we're here, this is so cool..."
Jim wasn't exactly sure who Kelly was talking to, since no one was answering or paying attention to what exactly she was saying, but she didn't seem to notice as she went on talking. He glanced over at Pam, who seemed to just be caught in the wonder of it all. It was a new experience for them all -- Jim didn't think any of them [except Patty] had ever been in the office of a magazine, before, let alone something as big as GQ. It was exciting and scary at the same time. He had no idea what to expect.
Patty checked everyone in at the security desk, and after everyone had produced photo IDs and got visitor badges, they headed to the elevators, where they were whisked up more floors than Jim could keep track of. He wasn't even thinking about that -- he was more worried about what was going to happen when they got in. What kinds of clothes would they put him in? What would they do to the girls? Jim found himself half-wondering about Pam. She wasn't the type of person that went for all kinds of glamorous clothing or make-up. In fact, if he had a sliding scale, he probably would have put Pam at one end of it and Katy at the complete opposite. Kelly probably fell somewhere right next to Katy -- they were both very image-conscious people. Pam, on the other hand, didn't really worry too much about what she wore, yet she still managed to look beautiful and amazing every day.
He remembered her on the Casino night -- that blue dress, with her hair pulled back, but in softer curls than usual, with just a hint of make-up. She'd nearly blown him away with how gorgeous she looked that night. He couldn't wait to see what they were going to do to her today. No one had any idea what to expect.
===
They entered the photo studio and nearly everyone gasped. It was a tall room with huge lights and several cameras set up on tripods. What caused everyone to gasp, though, was the set they had assembled in the studio. It was an office. Different from theirs -- much nicer, but with desks and a reception desk that was set up like a bar. There were balloons tied around the chairs and streamers along the fake back wall.
Pam looked at Patty, who had led them into the studio. "Office party?" she asked.
"Looks like it," Patty said. She turned to a tall, extremely trim man on her right. His name was Emilio. He had introduced himself as the senior fashion editor for GQ magazine. He was also very, very gay. Pam liked him immediately; he was friendly and had gorgeous, straight teeth.
"Yes, absolutely, that's what we're doing," Emilio said. He turned around so he was facing everyone head on. "Okay, so here's how it's going to work. Obviously, we're going to split up the men and the ladies -- we're going to get ladies into wardrobe, and we'll have the guys' hair and make-up done and then everyone will switch places --"
"Wai-wai-wait --" Roy held his hand up. "What do you mean, make-up?"
Emilio smiled generously at him. Obviously, he was used to dealing with this. "It's really not make-up, really. It's just a tinted moisturizer that evens out your skin tone. No one will even know you have anything on. He studied Roy's facial hair. "Obviously," he said, touching it with his fingers, "we'll have to do something about this, too."
Roy gave him a weird look. "What the hell, man?"
Emilio smiled again and gestured to another guy who had just walked over. "Ladies, this is Anthony, he's my assistant fashion editor. He will be helping you all get dressed. You can follow him to the wardrobe closet."
The wardrobe "closet" was actually a very large area enclosed by large white curtains. There was a separate area that Anthony explained was the dressing area. "We're going to be doing a lot of changing, so you might as well get familiar with one another," he said.
Pam swallowed, and looked over at Kelly, who had her eyes on a clothing rack, packed to the brim with items of all colors and fabrics. Katy, likewise, was eyeing the clothes and looking around the wardrobe closet. Pam noticed that the great majority of the clothing was suits and dress shirts, all lined up neatly on the racks. Ties were hung on several sets of tie racks, and she noticed a long line of men's dress shoes under the clothing racks.
The women's clothing rack wasn't as big, but there were a ton of shoes, mostly strappy and high-heeled. Pam wondered if they were going to have to wear them. She wasn't used to wearing shoes like that.
"Patty has sent over all your sizes, so I have them organized by your size for each of you." Pam looked at Kelly, who looked impressed about this. Pam vaguely remembered Patty asking for their sizes at one point and measuring them in the office for her "file," but she hadn't really thought about it at the time. Now it made sense. "Let's see," Emilio said, looking at Kelly. "I know you've got to be Kelly. Let's put you in ... this." He pulled out a purple dress with velvet flowers patterned all over it. He also handed her a second hanger, which was a long maroon sweater/overcoat with a maroon feather-trim collar.
"This is awesome!" Kelly said.
"My assistant Heidi will give you some nylons, and --" he reached down to pick up a pair of strappy purple heels. "--you'll need to put these on as well."
"Oh my God," Kelly said, looking at the shoes. "These are Christian Leboutins, oh my God, I've never worn anything like this before, this is unbelievable; I can't, oh my God..."
Anthony grinned and gave her a little push towards the changing area. "Just get dressed," he said. He looked at Katy next. "You are going to be easy," he said to her, pulling a red, fitted shirt (it looked tiny on the hanger) and a tartan pencil skirt off the rack. He reached down and grabbed a pair of matching red alligator heels.
"Cool," Katy said, taking the shirt. She glanced down at the label. "I can't believe I'm going to be wearing a Versace shirt -- and Prada shoes. Wow. This is crazy..." she said as she headed towards the changing area.
Pam watched Katy go, and looked at the clothing rack with trepidation. Anthony must have noticed her worried expression, because he said, "Don't worry, honey, everyone's nervous in the beginning, but you will have so much fun by the end of the day, you won't want to leave." He shoved the partition down the rack so he could take a look at Pam's clothes. He looked at her and then at the rack. "Hm," he said, finally picking up a cream-colored blouse with a ruffled collar and a tailored green skirt. Attached to the skirt hanger was a set of pantyhose that Pam eyed critically. "Oh, trust me," Anthony said. "You will look amazing in this. And that skirt totally goes with your eyes. I can't wait to see you in that."
Pam looked up at him. "You think?" she asked.
"Totally," Anthony said. He reached down and grabbed a pair of green heels. "These Prada shoes will look amazing with this." He pointed out the cream-colored accent that went from the toe at an angle across the shoe. "These are so in this season."
Pam took a deep breath, and then smiled nervously at Anthony. "Okay," she said.
When she walked into the changing area, she noticed that Kelly was completely changed, and that Heidi was quickly adjusting Kelly's dress, and checking the fit of the jacket. Katy was putting on her pantyhose when Pam walked in. She caught a glimpse of Katy's satin thong underwear and quickly turned away. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed, because she hadn't thought to wear any special underwear today. Today she had on pink cotton panties and a white cotton bra with flowers on it. Why hadn't she thought about that? She swallowed again, hanging the clothes on a nearby empty rack. Pam felt the heat starting to rise in her face. This was so embarrassing. She didn't want to change in front of everyone. Especially not Katy, who had an amazing figure. Katy, with her satin-sexy underwear and perfect long legs and beautiful hair.
Pam poked her head out of the curtain. "Anthony," she whispered. He quickly turned around.
She felt tortured for a second. She was mortified. She didn't even know this guy, but, still...
"What do you need?" he asked, running over.
"Um," she gritted her teeth, avoiding his stare. "I, uh... I don't know, I have this really dumb underwear I'm wearing, and I'm totally embarrassed, but I'm worried about it under the top I'm wearing, and..."
"Oh my God, totally. We keep extra stuff around for these types of things."
Pam looked at him with wide eyes.
"Brand new, of course," Anthony said. He studied her figure for a moment. "34B?" he asked.
"Yes," Pam said, surprised.
Anthony laughed. "I just guessed, but it's on your sheet, too. I'm going to grab you a set, just sit tight for a second."
By the time Anthony came back, both Kelly and Katy were fully dressed and were waiting outside in the changing area, much to Pam's relief. Especially when she saw what Anthony brought back -- a very skimpy, peach-colored thong and a matching padded demi-bra. She looked at them, and then up at Anthony. "I'm supposed to wear this?" she asked, holding up the underwear. She looked positively terrified.
"Trust me," Anthony said. "I'll make sure no one comes in when you're changing."
Pam nodded and turned around as Anthony shut the curtain. She felt weird taking off all her clothes, even though no one was there. It felt wrong, like she was getting naked in public. By the time her outfit was on, though, she felt a lot more comfortable, even though the skirt was a bit binding, and the thin silk shirt felt weird against her skin. She stepped out, and Anthony cheered loudly.
"Wow - you look unbelievable," Anthony said. "What a difference an outfit makes!"
Pam wasn't sure what to think about that, but she started smiling a little more when she heard both Katy and Kelly saying really nice things about her outfit. They both looked pretty amazing themselves.
===
The whole make-up and hair process didn't take a really long time, but it was a little longer than what Jim had expected. They had wet all of their hair and trimmed everyone up a bit. The make-up girl had also taken tweezers and plucked his eyebrows, which made his eyes water. On their face, they put tinted moisturizer and powder with a large brush. Jim had never really put anything on his face before (with the exception of shave gel and the occasional aftershave, if he was going on a date), so it felt kind of weird. He was kind of glad that it was a girl putting make-up on him. The whole thing was bizarre. How was he going to try and explain this one to his friends?
(He just wasn't going to; that was all there was to it.)
He glanced over at Ryan, who sat in his chair stoically while the girl working on him finished applying the loose powder to his face. On the far end of the room, another girl was finishing up with a straight razor, carefully holding Roy's face while she did it. They had shaved his beard into a goatee, which looked okay from the angle that Jim was sitting at -- but not at all like Roy. He looked like a different person; not the lumbering warehouse employee that Pam used to be engaged to.
The girl that was working on Jim leaned over, peering at his face critically.
"Looks good," she said. She was chewing gum, and Jim could hear her chomping on it as she breathed on his face. She smelled like spearmint. "I love your show, by the way."
"Oh?" Jim asked.
"Yeah, but confidentially--" she said, leaning in even closer. Jim noticed that her eyebrows were almost completely invisible; save for a thin line she'd drawn onto her face where the eyebrows should have been. He didn't like the way it looked. She grabbed his arm, and he could feel her long, manicured fingernails through the fabric of his shirtsleeve. "My girlfriends and I were just wondering -- do you actually like Katy, or are you just dating her because Pam's engaged?"
"What?" Jim asked. He couldn't help it; he was always surprised when people asked him questions like this.
"I mean, sorry - that was probably too personal, right?"
"Um," Jim said. He took a deep breath, and lied. "I really like Katy," he said, looking at the make-up artist. He realized his ass would be sued to Albuquerque if he said anything other than that. As far as everyone knew, he and Katy were still dating, Pam was still engaged, and (apparent to everyone), he had a raging crush on Pam. At least that last part was true.
"Really? Because, she just doesn't seem like your type."
Jim tried not to laugh. It was so very true. He had only dated Katy because she was attractive and had kept him from thinking about Pam 24-7. It hadn't really worked, even then. "There's a lot about us that the cameras don't show," Jim said. "She's a really good person."
That was also pretty much true. She had been very upset about their break-up but hadn't gone out and said a bunch of bad things about him. On the other hand, she was also legally bound to not say anything until the episodes had aired, so maybe she was saving up the bad words for later.
The girl shrugged and let him out of the chair. "It's time for you guys to get dressed," she said.
===
As the guys walked across the studio to get dressed, they ran into the girls, who were headed over to hair and make-up. Roy was the first to let out a slow whistle as they walked by. "Lookin' good," he said, giving Katy and her very tight shirt more than an eyeful. She smiled widely at him. Katy had always enjoyed the attention that men gave her. Jim remembered that she didn't really sound annoyed when other guys would hit on her when they were out together. It annoyed Jim more than anything, but not really as much as it should have.
He smiled at Pam as she walked by. She looked incredible. She was wearing a beautiful ivory silk blouse that was open at the top and showed the smooth, pale skin of her sternum. She had on a thin, green skirt and heels -- he'd never seen her in heels! He had no idea what they were going to do with her hair, but if this was any indication, he was really going to have to try and keep himself at bay. You're not supposed to be dating her, he reminded himself. You cannot think about her like that.
She smiled back at him as they walked by each other, and Jim swore that one of the skinny guy assistants walking around winked at him.
===
"You have fantastic hair."
Pam leaned back into the sink as a girl washed her hair quickly. Pam loved the feeling of the girl messaging her scalp as sat back in the chair. She couldn't remember the last time she had that done. Usually, she just had her sister trim her hair when she saw her every few months. Her sister was a hairdresser and did it for free.
Pam couldn't help but smile. "Thanks," she said.
"We're going to leave your hair down - take advantage of this great, long hair that you have. I don't know why you don't wear it down more often," she said as they walked back towards the chair.
Pam shook her head. "I don't know -- I never really know what to do with it."
The girl smiled. "I think you're just afraid of what people would think if you actually changed something."
Pam frowned but didn't say anything. Maybe it was true. Maybe she hadn't changed anything for so many years because she knew she was treading on fragile footing as it was; with being engaged to Roy and knowing that Jim was interested in her.
"You are going to look like a different person when I'm done with you."
===
When they all met back on the office set, Jim's eyes went wide. He couldn't help but go right to Pam when he saw her. He had to stop himself from touching her hair, which was down, but full of volume, cascading in large waves around her shoulders. They had put a small amount of make-up on her face -- some eyeliner, neutral lipstick -- it made her lips look full and luscious and her eyes bright. "I..." he said.
Pam felt equally speechless, looking at him. He was wearing a very close-cut pinstripe suit with a gray shirt and a red tie that matched Katy's shirt. She suddenly felt a wave of jealousy run over her. She didn't want Katy to be anywhere near Jim right now. Not like this. "Wow," she whispered.
"You look like a different person," Jim said quietly.
"Yeah, so do you, oh my God, I'm so nervous about this," Pam said.
"I know." Jim glanced over at Katy, who was staring at him with her hands on her hips. She was obviously in full acting-mode, ready to go. Jim gave Pam an apologetic look and walked over to Katy. He grabbed her arms, sizing her up and down. As fantastic as Katy looked, it was so difficult to pretend like he was actually interested in being with her. He put on his best face.
"You really look great, Jim," Katy said. She tugged at his tie, something she had become fond of doing when they were dating.
Jim felt guilty when she did that. "So do you," he said, as they called everyone into place. The editorial assistants put them all into positions around the set.
Emilio clapped his hands excitedly. "I want you all to look like you're having a good time, enjoying yourselves -- it's a party!" A wind machine blew lightly, sending a small breeze that picked the girls' hair up.
Kelly picked up a martini glass with a pink liquid in it. "Is there actually alcohol in here?" she asked.
"No," he said, "it's just colored water - we use it to give the effect of alcohol."
"Oh," Kelly said, looking disappointed. "I like martinis."
In the background, loud dance-beat music played. Strangely, it gave them all the sense that they were actually at a party. Except for the fact that the office set was fake and they were drinking colored water, not real cocktails.
"I know this song!" Katy said. "It's that new Paul Oakenfold song with Brittany Murphy, Faster Pussycat; this song is awesome."
"I know, right?" Kelly said. The assistants were positioning her to sit on a desk, leaning forward towards Ryan as he looked at her. They had to tell Ryan to smile several times.
Meanwhile, Pam and Roy were in the background, and the assistants were putting them into a dancing position. Pam found this extremely funny. "We never danced," she said, laughing. She quickly corrected herself: "We never dance."
Roy scowled at her. "Just do what they're asking, Pammy," he said.
She hated when he called her Pammy. It made her feel like she was ten years old.
Jim and Katy were positioned at the bar. They had set up shot glasses and limes along with a bottle of Patron tequila to simulate tequila shots. Per Emilio's instruction, the assistants had Katy hoist her leg up so Jim was holding it. He was told to lean down with his tongue out, like he was licking salt off her leg. The camera's shutter clicked rapidly as the photographer captured the scene they had laid out. Katy started to lose her balance, and Jim caught her back with his arm, up righting her. He let her leg fall to the floor, and took a deep breath. He wouldn't look at Pam. He knew she was probably glaring at him right now. Not like it was his fault.
True enough, Pam immediately looked at Jim when that happened. She quickly turned around and looked up at Roy, who was also watching Jim and Katy. He looked angry as well.
"Roy," she said. She pointed at her chin. "Forget about it, keep your eyes here."
This situation was almost surreal. Here she was, telling Roy to stop paying attention to Katy while she had to tell herself to stop looking at Jim, while she and Roy were pretending to be together.
In the next shot, they had Roy and Pam continuing to dance, but had Katy sit behind the bar/reception desk, leaning forward, pouring drinks. Jim was instructed to lean up against the bar and look at Katy. Then over at Pam, as Roy twirled her around and out by the arm. He couldn't help but smile at her as her body twisted around towards him. Her shirt was open low enough that he could just see a hint of cleavage.
Oh my God, he thought.
More rapid-fire clicks as the photographer took shots. He moved around the room quickly, and it was hard to keep track of what they were supposed to be doing. A couple times, the photographer had to remind them where they needed to be and what they were supposed to be looking at.
At that point, the photographer wanted to do shots of each couple, so he allowed Katy, Jim, Roy and Pam to sit down while he shot Ryan and Kelly. Jim sighed in relief as he realized he could finally relax while they were in the spotlight. Ryan and Kelly sat there and waited while the assistants set up the lighting and adjusted the light meter settings. They had Kelly sit on the desk and pose seductively while Ryan leaned next to her. "Look cool!" Emilio said.
Jim was surprised how long each set of pictures took to set up. Jim glanced across the line of chairs at Pam, who looked back at him with her eyebrows raised. "Weird," he mouthed to her.
"What?" she whispered back to him.
"This is weird," he whispered back.
"Cut it out," Katy said, hitting his arm. She sounded irritated. Jim made a face and sat back in his chair.
===
They went through a few more wardrobe changes throughout the day, the girls getting changed first while the guys had their hair and make-up touched up, and vice versa. Near the end of the day, Emilio announced that they were just going to shoot the actual office staff. They were going to do one last wardrobe change for that.
Emilio set Pam behind the reception desk. She had on a wraparound top that, from the position that Jim was standing at (leaning over the desk), he could see right down her shirt. Unintentionally, he started grinning, and the photographer chose that moment to start snapping. "Look like you're having a fun conversation. Talk about something fun."
Jim continued grinning at her. "I just want to let you know, you look fantastic," he said. He didn't care if he wasn't supposed to be saying anything like that to her. She did look fantastic. Not being able to touch her was killing him right now.
She felt shy and looked down all of a sudden. "Oh my God," she said. "You can probably see right down my shirt." She started to blush. At this point, the photographer was behind them, still shooting.
"I need more smiling, kids," he said, waving his hand. Jim smiled at her again. He didn't need to fake it; he was so happy just looking at her right now. Pam smiled back at him, and then started laughing, showing her teeth. It was so absurd that she actually started laughing for real. Who would have thought, a year ago, that they'd be sitting here doing something like this?
When the photographer was done shooting them, they were able to relax. Jim leaned forward, resting his head upon his chin on the reception counter.
"Pam, what is going on, here?"
She grinned widely. "I..." she shook her head. "This is going to go down as probably one of the most surreal days in the history of being me."
Jim laughed. His expression suddenly changed as he looked at her very seriously. "You have no idea how much I want to scoop you up and take you away right now." He flicked his eyebrows at her, causing a warm surge to run through her. She licked her lips.
"I think I can imagine."
Jim shut his eyes and stood up. "Beesly, I have got to go distract myself. I can't just stand here and look at you."
She stood up then, too, and watched as Jim went over and sat down next to Katy and Roy, who were watching the shoot from the edge of the set. She felt hurt, even though she knew there was nothing wrong. It wasn't fair that they had to hide this. She had denied it for so long -- he had waited so long for this, and now that they were finally together, they couldn't even really be together. It sucked.
She sighed and sat back down at the desk again. There was even a phone on it, just like her desk. She picked it up. No dial tone. "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam," she said to nobody. Pam smiled to herself.
===
They stopped to get dinner at a pizzeria around the corner from the Conde Nast building when the shoot was over. Patty presided over the table, smiling at everyone. "You guys did a fantastic job today. A reporter is going to be coming into the office next Friday to conduct a short interview, and I will be sitting in on that, just so you know. Conversations will have to be limited to what was going on around last October, so don't forget that. Remember," she said, looking at Roy and then at Pam, who were seated at opposite ends of the table, "no talk about break-ups. No talk about new relationships, nothing. Talking about Michael and his buffoonery is perfectly safe, though."
Everyone laughed at that comment. Even Patty knew how ridiculous Michael was. She constantly had to remind him not to talk about stuff that hadn't "happened" yet. It took him forever to understand the fact that what they shot was not being aired until almost a year later, so he had to make sure he was censoring himself as much as possible. This was not something Michael was very good at. Patty had become very good at bribing reporters.
Jim sat at the table, sipping on a pint of beer. He gazed across the table at Pam, who smiled at him. Roy was sitting next to her, and every so often, Jim saw him glance over at Pam. Her hair was still down and she still had a little bit of make-up on. Roy had probably never seen her like that, either.
Too bad, so sad, Jim thought. It made him smile, realizing she was his now. I have got to be the luckiest guy in the world.
Pam smiled back at him, and then looked at Roy without turning her head. She looked back at Jim, her eyes going wide.
Jim had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. He knew exactly what she was thinking.
Suddenly, two thirty-something women ran up to the table, with paper and pens in their hands. "Oh my God, you guys are from The Office, aren't you? We are the hugest fans, we run this website, and we just wanted to say how much we love you guys and ..." The one woman who was talking stopped. She realized she was probably interrupting something. "Was I interrupting something? I'm so sorry."
The other woman she was with smiled apologetically.
"No, no," Jim said immediately. He held out his hand. The lady who hadn't said anything yet held out her notepad. Jim took it and looked up at her. "What's your name?"
"Kathie," she said, grinning from ear-to-ear. "I cannot believe this. You are so nice."
Jim smiled, and wrote a message, passing the pad to Pam. "Write something," he said to her.
Pam looked up at Kathie. "I take no responsibility for anything Jim wrote on this pad." She laughed then, and wrote something herself. The other gal (Elizabeth) also handed over a piece of paper, and Jim wrote a little note for her as well, and that paper was passed around the group.
"Thank you so much," Elizabeth said. She was so excited her hands were shaking. Jim turned around to where she was standing behind him. He touched her arm.
"Anytime," he said, smiling broadly.
Elizabeth let out a little yelp and grinned at Kathie, who grinned back at her. "Thank you!" they both said in unison as they practically ran back to their table.
"Boy, Halpert. You sure have a way with the ladies," Roy said. He smirked at Jim.
"What can I say?" Jim asked. He shrugged and took another drink of his beer. He couldn't help but notice Pam was watching him the entire time. Jim looked up and notioned to Roy, as if to say, Don't forget about your 'fiance.'
She seemed to understand, because she put her arm around the back of Roy's chair at that moment. Jim felt the pang of jealousy quickly run through him as she did that. He knew it was just for show, but it was so hard to watch, especially after he had longed to have her for so many years, knowing that she was engaged to Roy. He sighed, and turned to Katy.
"Have a nice time today?" he asked.
Jim hated small talk, but if he didn't start talking to Katy, he'd end up staring at Pam all night long, and that was definitely a bad idea.
"Totally," Katy said, smiling at him, and then glancing at Roy. "This was ... an interesting experience," she said.
Jim nodded.
Katy paused and looked Jim over. He was wearing a dark gray long-sleeve shirt and jeans. Nothing spectacular. Roy looked better than he did, but there was something about Jim Halpert -- something that had made her want to go out with him in the first place -- and something that made her sad that he'd broken up with her. She didn't understand why Jim and Pam weren't dating -- she'd assumed the reason why he'd broken up with her was because of Pam. Roy hadn't offered any insights as to why he and Pam had broken up. He wasn't the type of person to talk about that sort of thing -- you know, feelings and relationships and stuff.
Not that she really wanted to talk about it, anyway. She and Jim hadn't even talked since they'd broken up almost six months ago.
There was something kind of ... naughty about pretending they were back together again. Katy almost wished she wasn't dating Roy.
"So, uh..." Katy leaned into him, whispering into his ear so no one else would overhear. "Are you... seeing anyone right now? I know you said you and Pam are just friends, so..."
Jim's mouth went into a straight line. What was she trying to say? What was she really asking him? Whether he was lying about Pam? If he was available? Was she hitting on him?
"Um," he said. "Yeah, sort of ... yeah."
Katy looked confused and leaned in again. "Sort of, yeah, you're seeing someone?"
Jim thought for a moment, and then nodded at her. Sort of wasn't exactly the way to describe it. He wouldn't even say he was seeing Pam. They finally existed. Together. It was so much more than you could describe in a phrase like "seeing someone."
He couldn't help it; he glanced up at Pam, who smiled back at him before quickly looking away and starting a conversation with Patty.
===
"So, Jim, I heard you told someone that 'Not just anyone can climb you like a tree.'" Dwight was staring at Jim with a smug expression on his face.
Jim looked at the camera, and then at Dwight with a confused expression. "What are you talking about, Dwight?"
"You heard what I said. I read about it. On the Internet."
"Wait -- what? Where did you read that?" Jim came over to Dwight's desk, where he saw a blog entry from LiveJournal entitled: "The Best Day EVAR: Meeting Jim Halpert!!!!!"
"Dwight, can I ask why you're reading a blog someone wrote about me? Are you secretly in love with me?"
"No," Dwight said quickly.
Jim heard Eric, the new salesman who sat across from Dwight, snicker under his breath.
"Shut up, Eric!" Dwight said. "Look, I read all kinds of blogs about this show. I want to know what people are saying about us. You wouldn't believe the things that people say about you."
"You mean stuff like: 'Jim Halpert -- We'd Climb Him Like a Tree' --?"
Pam laughed from her desk. Dwight looked up and glared at her. "Yes, stuff like that," he said. "How did you know about that, anyway?"
Jim snorted. "Pam showed me that website. Look, Dwight, just because you're jealous that I have more fans than you..."
"I'm not jealous, and for your information, I have plenty of fans on the Internet. I've already gotten three marriage proposals on my blog."
"What?" Jim asked, trying not to laugh. He looked at the camera again, and then back at Dwight. "You have a blog?"
"Yes, it's called Shrute Space. I run it from the Dunder-Mifflin website."
"Is that legal?" Jim asked. "Did you get approval from corporate to do that?" He glanced over at Pam, who had her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh.
"Michael said it was okay, and anyway -- hey, this isn't about me, anyway, this is about you, writing lewd messages to random fans! I don't know who you think you are. Furthermore, what were you doing with Pam, Kelly, Ryan, Roy and Katy in New York, anyway?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out," Jim said. He picked up his phone to make a phone call.
"Oh, don't worry," Dwight said. "I will find out. I always do."
===
Comments can be left here or at my LJ and are greatly appreciated. Thanks for the support!
Author's Chapter Notes:
The bigger your show, the bigger your publicity. Our folks at Dunder-Mifflin have a hard time learning how to deal with the spotlight, and the delay of television. Follow up to "Bigger than Big Brother."
