Pam sighed heavily and pushed the pound sign on the phone a little too vigorously as she replayed the message for about the fourth time so far. She just couldn’t make herself focus on Mr. Schmidt and his long list of complaints about how his paper supply needs just were not being met and demanding answers. The whole afternoon she had been replaying her conversation with Roy in her head, and the more she thought about it the angrier she became.
She just didn’t understand him sometimes. She loved him, and he loved her right? So why was it so hard for him to understand that she wanted to go to the art festival and it hurt her that he had blatantly scheduled something else on top of her plans without any regard for how she might feel?
She hung up the phone a little too loudly, and Jim looked up from his desk a questioning look on his face. She forced a small smile and he returned to his work.
She stared blankly at her computer screen, trying hard not to think about how angry she had become over the past few hours. It was like Roy just didn’t care. Like he didn’t even think about how his decisions might affect her. ‘But why should he?’ she thought cynically, ‘we’re only engaged after all.’ And why should she have to be the one to change her plans because he messed up and scheduled two things for the same weekend? She didn’t even like Jaime, and the thought of spending an entire weekend with her instead of going to the art festival made her want to throw her pencil cup at Dwight’s head.
She sighed and rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to calm herself and focus on the afternoon ahead.
“Hey,” Jim said, breaking her reverie.
She looked up, responding with a simple “Hey”.
He nonchalantly grabbed a jellybean from the dispenser, “You have a headache?”
“What? Oh, no,” Pam responded distractedly, “My eyes just feel a little strained,” she lied.
“Ah,” Jim responded, clearly unconvinced, but not willing to push the subject. He gave her a lopsided grin and returned to his desk, her eyes following him.
Why was it that Jim always know exactly when to push, and when to leave her be? Why was it that he was always supportive of whatever she wanted to do, regardless of how pointless it might seem, when Roy couldn’t manage to avoid double booking the one weekend that was really important to her? And in the break room earlier, Jim had showed her more support than Roy had in a month. Obviously he was a great friend, more than she deserved, but there was a part of her that wondered why he understood her some days better than Roy ever could.
A small, yet disturbing voice in her head responded: Because he really cares.
The thought startled her. She had had similar thoughts before, but never in such a direct manner of comparison with her own fiancé. She was obviously angry at Roy, and that was why she was thinking these things, it didn’t really mean anything. Jim was her best friend; that was certain. Still, sometimes she wondered if maybe, there was something else…
Pam stopped that line of thought immediately with a quick shake of her head, chalking it up to ridiculous musings of a slightly enraged state of mind, and turned back to the telephone, determined to get all of Mr. Schmidt’s complaints down this time.
*****
Later that afternoon, still annoyed, though perhaps less visibly angry, she wandered into the break room to get a can of soda to help her survive the remainder of the day. While she stood there at the machine, still thinking about her disappointment and frustration, she suddenly had the insane idea to tell Roy that she was staying in Scranton for the art festival.
She quickly tried to shush the idea with thoughts of the fight that would undoubtedly ensue, but the same small voice that had encroached on her consciousness earlier in the day returned with vigor and growing strength, egging her on. Why couldn’t she tell him that she wanted to stay? She had told him weeks ago about the festival, it wasn’t like she was cancelling on him last minute for something that ‘just came up’. She knew he wouldn’t really like it, but in that moment she didn’t care. He had hurt her today, and she knew that she deserved more than that from the man who supposedly loved her enough to want to commit to spend the rest of his life with her.
And with her thoughts growing in strength and determination, she strode resolutely out of the break room, threw a small smile at Jim as she passed his desk, and walked quickly out the doors, heading down to the warehouse.
It didn’t take her long to find him, relaxing with Daryl in the warehouse office, the TV blaring ESPN—she made a mental note to ask Jim how in the world the warehouse guys had managed to get cable. She was willing to bet it had to do with Michael doing or saying something stupid leading to a bribe to keep all the warehouse workers from quitting.
“Roy,” she began, her resolve faltering slightly now she was actually facing him.
“Hey Pam, what’s up?” He responded, not looking up from the TV.
“Can I talk to you…it’ll only take a minute?”
“Can you hold on just a minute, they’re recapping the game we missed last night”
“Roy, I need to talk to you…now.” She said, her anger starting to seep into her voice.
He looked up, looking somewhat bewildered at her more defiant tone.
“Uh, alright,” and he stood and walked out of the office, shooting a look at Daryl and rolling his eyes. She ignored his not-so-subtle eye roll, and followed him into the warehouse.
“Roy, I want to stay here this weekend. I really want to go to the art show,” she began, almost pleading with him to understand. She really didn’t want to fight with him anymore.
“Babe, I already called Kenny and told him we were going to the lake with them. I can’t cancel now.” Roy looked annoyed that she was bring this up now.
“No, you don’t have to cancel, I just won’t be coming with you,” she started slightly at the strength of her own words.
Roy also seemed taken aback by her calm, yet stern tone. “Pam, we can’t just back out on this, we promised Kenny…”
She felt herself lose her last bit of waning control. “You promised Kenny! Without talking to me! Without asking if I had anything else planned!” She felt herself yelling all the things that had been pent up inside her all day. “God Roy, you just don’t get it.”
“Whoa,” Roy responded, looking even more bewildered at this outburst, “I get it Pam. Geez if you don’t like Kenny, just say so.”
“This isn’t about Kenny. This is about you. You knew I had this art festival! I thought you knew that this meant a lot to me. And you scheduled over it anyway, without talking to me first!” Pam was trying to keep her tone under control, just trying to make him understand why she was so upset.
“Fine,” he responded, starting to raise his own voice to match hers, “you go to your little art festival then. I’ll just go on my own.”
He really sounded like a petulant 3 year old, and if Pam weren’t so angry, she probably would have smiled. “Okay,” she responded tersely, trying to calm down. It appeared she had won, though she felt worn and weary. Roy looked her in the eye for a moment, and then started to walk away.
“Um, bye…” Pam called after him.
“Yeah, I’ll see you when we get back” Roy retorted, clearly still upset, striding back to the warehouse where Daryl and the TV were waiting.
Pam felt slighted by his hasty goodbye, but knew she couldn’t hope for much better with him right now. She had made him mad. And she felt horrible, as she always did when the fought. But deep down, she knew she was justified, and that little voice in her head was rejoicing that she had finally stood up for herself, even if it was just a little bit.
She climbed the stairs back up to the office, feeling exhilarated and yet exhausted at the same time. She could go to the art festival. That thought almost made her giddy. But she knew she would have major damage control to attend to when Roy got back from his trip. But until then, she was determined to enjoy her weekend.
She returned to her desk to pack up her things as it was almost time to go home. Her thoughts were full of all of the things she could do this weekend, without Roy. She smiled to herself, pride at her determination welling up inside her.
“You look happy,” Jim commented, attempting nonchalance, as he pulled his coat off the coat rack.
“Yeah,” Pam responded, looking up at him, “I am. Turns out I’m going to the art festival after all,” she paused momentarily, struck by Jim’s questioning, yet proud look, “Roy’s going up to the lake without me,” she said simply.
Jim tried to hide his smile, but Pam saw it pull at the corner of his mouth, “Cool.”
“And actually,” she began, the words just tumbling from her mouth, “I could really use a friend there. I always get nervous at these things, stupid I know. I just…I mean, if you’re not busy, I think it’d be kinda fun.” What was she thinking? She couldn’t believe she had just asked Jim to come with her to art festival. Especially after fighting with her fiancé. But she pushed that thought aside and continued, “I mean, I completely understand if you have much better things to do with your Saturday than wander around a silly art fair” Now she was babbling. She sounded like a 16 year old girl. Fantastic.
Jim smiled genuinely. He was quite shocked at her sudden change in demeanor, and even more stunned that she had asked him to go with her to the art fair. While Roy was out of town. But he pushed that thought away. “Hmm, let me think,” he said, pausing for only a split second before responding “…nope, I’ve got nothing.” She returned his smile. “What time does it start?”
“Well it’s both tomorrow and Sunday, but I think tomorrow it’s from 10 to 4 or so” she replied.
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them: “Would you want to get lunch and then head over there?” He realized immediately it sounded like he was asking her out, and he tried to backtrack “I mean, if you want we could just meet at the fair too, whatever.”
“No, lunch would be great,” she responded, smiling sincerely. It was as if she was being driven by the elation at her personal triumph, as well as her frustration at Roy, to do things she might normally do. Like go on a lunch date with Jim. But it wasn’t really a date. And even if it sort of was, she didn’t care. She was happy.
“Okay,” Jim responded, “what about noon at Cuginos?”
“I’ll see you there,” Pam said nodding.
“Great, see you tomorrow Beesly,” Jim said, unable to wipe the silly grin off his face. Even in the elevator on the way down to his car all he could think about was the fact that he was going to spend the next day with Pam.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So maybe I'm giving season 2 Pam a little too much credit here...but hey, I like to think she had some inner strength even back then.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading! I hope you're enjoying it so far. More to come (hopefully soon!) I love reviews!
