When Jim and Pam finally entered Target, Jim could only stand in awe of what he saw. Never before in his life had he been witness to such insanity-and that was saying a lot considering where he worked. All around him, people (mostly women) were executing their own “plans” with the military precision. Grown men ran (not just hurried, but ran) through the store. One larger gentleman, who must have been at least 65 years old, suddenly ran by with the same excited expression that Jim would have expected to see on a small child running towards the toy store.
Thankfully, Pam appeared beside him, pushing a cart. “What the hell is this? This is insane!” Jim said, motioning to the chaos around him.
“See? This is why we need a plan.” Pam said. “Now go to electronics! Hurry!” She gave Jim a gentle push on the shoulders and then hurried to a different part of the store.
Part of Jim wanted to run to electronics, grab Pam’s stupid camera, and get the hell out of there. But another part of him wanted to walk as slowly as possible, and watch the other shoppers. He felt like he was on a bad reality show.
He came across a huge crowd of people blocking an aisle, and through the people he saw a ever-shrinking pile of TV sets. He remembered Pam’s words outside the store-”If you see anything in the aisle, grab it.”-but decided against throwing himself into the fighting ring that had been created. He briefly made eye contact with the poor Target employee who had been given the task of supervising the mob, and for once was thankful for his job at Dunder-Mifflin.
The electronics department was situated at the back of the store, right across from the toy department. As a result, when Jim finally reached his assigned destination he was greeted by a blockade of carts. Apparently all the shoppers had “attacked” either electronics or toys. He stared in amazement into the electronics department, where another employee was standing behind a blockade and handing customers their desired items.
Jim reluctantly made his way towards the ever-growing mob. Unlike the other shoppers, he didn’t try to force his way to the front. He was a human being, he told himself, and he didn’t need to fight for a camera.
But as he stood at the back of the crowd, he realized that his attitude was the extreme minority. He stood for what felt like hours as one person after another shouted at the poor sales associate to get them an X-Box, a DVD player, an iPod, or a video game. One woman, after being informed that Target was now out of pink iPod nanos, proceeded to tell the man that if she didn’t get her daughter’s pink iPod, she was going to come back there and beat the living daylights out of him. Another customer threatened to sue the store for false advertising because the discount on X-Box games only applied if the customer bought an X-Box with them.
“I’ve got the freaking X-Box already! I just need the stupid game! Your flier didn’t say anything about...”
As the man continued his rant, Jim decided that no camera was worth this and turned to abandon his mission. However, he soon realized that many, many more people had joined the crowd, and he was now completely enclosed. There was going to be no escape.
The man who wanted the X-Box game stormed by Jim in a huff, muttering to himself about how inconsiderate the stores were of working people at Christmas. As he did, Jim heard a voice say “Sir...can I help you get something?” He looked up to see the Target associate looking right at him.
“Oh, I...need a camera.” Jim then realized that he had no idea what camera he was looking for. Pam had kept the flier with her. Jim tried to remember the picture he had seen outside. Was he looking for a Canon? Or was it a Nikon? What was the number? Was the camera silver or black? This was not good.
“I...um...well, you see my girlfriend....we had a flier and there was this...” Jim felt panic setting in as he stuttered. The other shoppers were looking at him in a way that made him fear for his life. Just then, another hand passed the store’s flier up past his face.
“He wants this one.” Jim turned to see the woman Pam had been talking to in line.
The man behind the blockade nodded, and retrieved the camera. Jim turned around, amazed that this woman had actually remembered him from outside.
“Thanks...um...”
The woman laughed. “My name’s Susan. And I’m always happy to help out a first timer. Now you’d better go find your girlfriend and get out of here...I have a feeling this is going to get ugly.”
Just then, a loud voice interrupted them. “That is MY Nintendo! She pushed ahead of me! I got here first!”
“You did not!”
Up at the blockade, there appeared to be a dispute between two women over a Nintendo DS system. “Ladies, please. If one of you will just wait one moment I can go into the back and check for another one...” the associate said, trying to calm the women down.
This announcement did not seem to please the rest of the mob. “Oh, hell no. We’re not waiting here while you go all the way into the back for her.” another voice screeched.
A large man who appeared to be in his early to mid 40’s then shoved his way to the blockade, and proceeded to climb over it. “Sir, you cannot come back here unless you’re an employee...”
“Screw you!” the man said as he rummaged through the piles of gadgets behind the barricade. This threw the mob into even more chaos as more people did the same, eventually knocking down the blockade altogether. Jim turned to see that Susan was gone. Pam hadn’t been kidding when she said he needed to attack electronics. Seeing an opening form in the back of the crowd, he held the camera close to his body and ran, not stopping until he was safely in sporting goods.
He looked at the camera box in his hands. “I hope whoever gets this camera appreciates this.” he said to himself. Suddenly, he heard a voice call his name.
“Jim!”
Sure enough, Pam was coming towards him, pushing the now half-full shopping cart. Jim was pretty sure he had never been happier to see her in his life.
“I sure hope whoever gets this camera appreciates what I went through to get it.” he said as he placed the camera in the cart. “What else did you get?”
“Um...let’s see...I got some new Christmas decorations, and a couple of throw pillows, and a bath mat.” Pam said, rummaging through the items in the cart.
“How did you manage to get all of that stuff already?”
“The home department isn’t crowded at all...”
Just then, a young woman in a red shirt ran past, shouting into a walkie-talkie. “I need more associates to electronics! I repeat, any available associates please report to electronics immediately.”
“I guess everybody went right to electronics.” Pam finished.
“So let me get this straight. You, the ten-year veteran of this, sent me, the first timer, into a retail war zone on four hours of sleep while you wandered casually through the store like I wanted to do in the first place?” Jim asked. Pam nodded, and Jim laughed. “You’re lucky I love you, Beesly. Now come on, we’re getting out of here.”
Jim took control of the cart and headed to checkout. Sure enough, the rest of Target was practically devoid of people. The store had every register open, and the checkout process went faster than Jim expected it to.
Twenty minutes later, proudly holding their red and white bags, Pam and Jim headed to the exit. As they approached the doors, Jim saw a sight he never thought was possible. The cart area was completely empty. He checked his watch-5:45.
“So we’re going home now, right?” Jim asked, hopeful.
Pam laughed. “Of course not. This was just stop one. We’ve still got to hit the mall!”
Coming Up: Pam and Jim visit the Mall at Steamtown, and they may run into a few familiar faces!
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for the reviews!
