Jim gathered his coat and walked out of Dunder Mifflin for the millionth time, or so it seemed. Today had been like every other day. He and Pam had lowered Dwight’s seat every time he got up to do something. They’d taken all of the Baby Ruth bars out of the candy machine, and after Dwight had gone to buy one they had told him they were on backorder because Baby Ruths had been proven to cause the deterioration of martial arts skills. Of course Dwight had fallen for everything, making the day…well, just like any other day.
Roy had come in at exactly five demanding Pam leave right that second. Apparently Roy was going out, and he wasn’t going to be late because of Pam. Jim had given her a rueful grin which he hoped said, “I feel bad for you,” but really meant, “Stay with me; I love you more than he does.”
Of course she had left, not seeming to even give it a second thought. He didn’t think Pam gave a second thought to much of anything anymore. Maybe if he could work up the courage to tell her about his feelings out loud she would start thinking more about things like that, but his own insecurities prevented him from doing this.
The front door slammed against the wall as Jim walked into his small house. Mark was in Bermuda with his girlfriend for the week, and he was kind of glad.
He looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was already 6:30. The traffic had been pretty bad, but he hadn’t even noticed the time. He kind of forgot to notice a lot of things these days.
He threw his things on the floor and then plopped down on the couch, automatically grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. After absentmindedly flipping through channels for an hour, he noticed the emptiness in his stomach.
Oh yeah, food.
He didn’t feel like making a big meal; he didn’t really have the energy. Instead he grabbed a bowl and spoon and poured himself some Frosted Flakes, Tony the Tiger’s “They’re grrreat!” taunting him with just how great his life was not.
After dinner (if he could even call it that) he dragged himself upstairs to take a long and comforting shower, hoping the water would wash away his problems. The shower gave him a renewed sense of energy, and on a whim, he decided to go for a drive.
Barely noticing the scenery, he drove through “The Electric City” wishing more of its sparks were directed towards him.
He couldn’t explain what he was doing when he found himself sitting in the front row of the movie theater. It was a spur of the moment decision. As he sat through the movie, he became more and more aware of the pain eating him away, day by day.
With his mind clouded and senses tingling, he walked out of the theater.
By the time he settled back down on his couch it was already a little after midnight. He turned his head and stared out the window, smiling to himself as he saw the specks of light that littered the sky. He remembered as a child when he used to wish on the stars, usually for the latest video game or some hi-tech toy. This time when he looked at the tiny splotches of light, he only wished for one thing. Pam.
He hadn’t stopped wishing for Pam since they day he’d met her. He wanted to be with her every second of every day. His next thought, though ridiculous, gave him some sort of hope.
Maybe if I say it out loud it will come true.
And so he did, “I wish I could always be with you, Pam.”
* * * *
Pam sat in front of the TV watching a repeat of America’s Next Top Model, and eating leftover spaghetti from the night before. Roy had left hours ago, telling her that he was going out with the guys and that he should be home some time around eleven. It was now 12:09 and she suspected that he wasn’t coming home anytime soon.
Pam recalled the events of that day, Michael’s shenanigans and the awesome pranks on Dwight. She always seemed to have fun when she was with Jim. She wished she felt the same way with Roy. Of course she cared very much for Roy, but she didn’t know if she could still call it love. What she had once felt had dissipated over the years.
She put her spaghetti down and hugged her knees close to her chest, suddenly cold. Roy didn’t make Pam feel like herself anymore. Every day she felt like she was actually behind the scenes, watching her life as if it were some sort of movie.
She needed someone who made her feel alive, someone who made her never want to sleep because being awake was just that wonderful. Every time she thought about living like this only one name came to her mind. Jim. She knew she shouldn’t be feeling like this, she was engaged for God’s sake, but somehow it was Jim that made her happy. Happier than Roy ever could.
But Pam was terrified of change. She was terrified of acknowledging the fact, out loud, that maybe she did feel something for Jim, and maybe he felt something for her. She was terrified that if she took the risk and it didn’t work out, she would never be able to recover. So instead she stayed in the protective cocoon she had built around herself and her life.
Tonight, though, just for this one night, she couldn’t help but wish for more. She looked out of her window at the stars and imagined that Jim was looking at them, too. She could picture him looking at the stars and wishing just like she was; wishing for more.
“I wish I could be with you every second, Jim, because you are the one who makes me happy,” she whispered to herself in the quiet room.
And she swore she could almost hear Jim saying,
“I wish I could always be with you, Pam.”
Story Notes:
This is my first fic, so I hope you all enjoy it!
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my first story posted on here! I'm sure this has been done in some way before, but I thought it'd be cool to write about. Thanks to my awesome beta Azlin ! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Hope you liked it!
