Author's Chapter Notes:
I was hoping to have this finished before Christmas, but my real life has gotten in the way. I will try anyway though. There should be two more chapters after this one.
Creed shoves another brownie in his mouth. He turns to Angela, who is standing nearby. "Hey, what kind of pot you put in these things?" Angela, disgusted, walks away.
"Okay, guys, the karaoke machine is all set!" Kevin announces. "I get first dibs."
Kevin launches into a stirring rendition of Air Supply's Making Love Out Of Nothing At All. Dwight stares at Angela from across the room, but she avoids his gaze as Andy starts telling a story of this one time at Cornell when his a cappella group got busted for taking the bulbs out of the lights in the student center. ("It was totally wild," he says.)
Dwight sighs and wanders into the conference room for some more egg nog. Jim and Pam are in there, watching the snow fall as they giggle over some inside joke.
"Do you remember the time I got drunk at the Dundies?" Pam asks with a laugh.
"Do I remember? How could I ever forget our first kiss?"
She laughs at the memory, and then says with mock confusion, "Wait, that really happened? I thought I dreamed the whole thing!"
"Oh yeah, it happened! What you dreamed was..." He bends down and whispers something in her ear, at which she bursts into a full-blown giggle fit.
"Jim! You're being naughty. Santa might not bring you anything," she says with a snort. Jim reaches over, encircles his arms around her waist, and pulls her hips close to his, whispering something else to her as she blushes and pretends to swat him. Then she turns and pours them both another drink.
~
Kelly: Oh my God, Jim and Pam are like, so horny. Who does that in front of their co-workers?
~
Michael is still sitting on the couch, watching the karaoke, which is getting progressively worse the more people drink. He hasn't moved from his spot, for fear someone may sneak by him. Dwight sits down next to him, dejected.
"What is the matter with you?" Michael asks with not a trace of compassion.
"Nothing. I have never been better. In fact, I have never - "
"Oh shut up. Hey can you do me a favor and grab me a cup of that egg nog?" He nods toward Kevin, who is obviously enjoying his - he is licking the sides of the cup.
Dwight nods and heads back into the conference room. Jim and Pam are kissing up against the wall near the window. Dwight clears his throat.
Jim and Pam break apart and look at him. "Um, mistletoe," Jim says. Dwight looks around, then replies, "No, the mistletoe was in the kitchen. I know because - "
Pam quickly looks up at Jim and they both say, "Kitchen!" simultaneously as she grabs his arm and leads him out of the room, adding quickly, "Jinx!" Jim stumbles a bit and almost falls, but recovers in time to share another long laugh with Pam as they head off toward the kitchen.
Dwight stands there disgusted for a minute before going back to Michael with his egg nog.
"Michael," he says as he hands it to him, "I think the nog may be a little, um, strong. My cousin Heindl used to make it that way and he and my cousin Freisa would act just the way Jim and Pam are..."
"Ugh. Can you just.... shut. it. I'm trying to enjoy my egg nog here and I don't need to be hearing about your incestuous cousins."
Andy is now singing at the karaoke machine. He is doing a mean rendition of Even The Nights Are Better, also by Air Supply. He is directing it toward Angela, but she isn't even looking at him. Instead her eyes wander over to Dwight sitting moping on the couch with Michael. She takes another gulp from her cup.
Kelly is sitting next to Toby, on Phyllis' desk, crying about how last year Ryan made her this awesome mix tape, only it wasn't really a tape because it was a CD, and who uses tapes these days anymore anyway, and how it's not fair that Jim and Pam get to make out all over the place and be happy when the rest of us aren't. Toby just nods, silently agreeing while looking around for a reasonable way to escape.
A little while later, Meredith has to pee, so she makes her way back to the ladies room, and is surprised when the door won't open. Checking herself to make sure she pushed it instead of pulled (because she had been drinking the vodka straight-up - no middleman for her), she stands there perplexed for a minute, and then presses her ear up against the door.
Oscar comes into the kitchen soon after. Meredith sways a bit and says, "Hey! Is this door locked or is it just not unlocked?" Oscar stares at her, then shakes his head ever so slightly while attempting to open the door. Sure enough, it's locked.
"I think someone's in there," Meredith whispers.
"Oh, you think?" He rolls his eyes and heads into the men's room.
Creed comes in a few seconds later and sees Meredith listening at the door.
"Is it occupied?" Creed asks. "I kind of need to take a load off, if you know what I mean."
Meredith blinks, slowly, and says, "I think they're doing it."
"Who's 'they'? And what are they doing?"
~
Meredith: Well, there is a couch in there and it does have good support.
~
Oscar comes out of the bathroom. Meredith sighs and runs into the men's room.
"So what's going on?" Oscar asks, standing next to Creed, who is still examining the ladies' room door.
"Oh, just the normal, run-of-the-mill office sex." He lowers his voice, looks around shiftily, and adds, "Don't tell anyone, but I think Tim and the receptionist may be having an affair."
~
Creed: Oh, I've had many an affair with many a secretary. Not this one though, as far as I know.
~
Toby now enters the kitchen, having somehow managed to get Kelly to direct her crying at Angela. He goes to open the men's room door and finds it locked.
"Meredith is in there," Oscar says.
"Oh. Wait, why is Meredith - "
"Because the ladies room door is locked," Oscar answers.
"Okay. Um, why is the ladies room door locked?"
Oscar sighs and walks out of the kitchen, mumbling, "You don't want to know."
Creed, however, stays put, as Meredith comes out of the bathroom. "They still going at it?" she asks.
"Who is going at it?" Toby's interest is piqued.
"Jim and Pam, duh." She snorts. "Those two probably hump like bunnies every second they get. I know I would totally get on that all the time if I were her."
"Who's humping like bunnies?" Michael has entered the room, having convinced Dwight to stand guard at the door.
"Jim and Pam," Meredith answers for the second time, rolling her eyes. "They're locked in the bathroom."
"Oooooh!" Michael squeals, putting his ear to the door. "That's juicy."
~
Michael: See, that's what a good office Christmas party is all about. Getting drunk and screwing in the bathroom. It doesn't get any better than that, and if that's what people are doing at my party, then I will have done my job.
~
Chapter End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
