Jim opens the door to the ladies' room to find half the office standing there. His hair is slightly disheveled and his shirt is partially untucked.
"Oh, um... we were just..."
~
Jim: Okay, yes, Pam and I had a little too much to drink last night. But no, we did not do... what everyone thinks we did.
Pam: Yeah, I mean, we just went into the ladies room because there's a comfy couch and we wanted to play Uno.
Jim: Exactly. I mean, it made sense at the time.
~
Michael slaps Jim on the back and yells, "Busted!"
Andy, who had entered the kitchen upon noticing the audience for his Air Supply tribute had disappeared, says, "Tuna! That's even better than that time you got drunk at work in Stamford and banged Karen!"
Pam, who is now standing next to Jim in the bathroom doorway holding a deck of Uno cards, looks at him questioningly.
"Whoa! That is NOT what happened," Jim says to Andy, then turns to Pam. "That is not what happened at all." She lowers her eyebrows and folds her arms, but then starts to sway and has to steady herself against the door.
"Um, I think we're just going to... er, take off." Jim reaches for Pam's hand, but misses the first time, and when he finally gets a hold of it she is still glaring at him.
"Oh no you don't!" yells Michael, putting his arm out to block them from passing.
"Michael, come on, it's snowing and people want to go home and - "
"No, that's not why you can't leave. You, my friend, are totally snockered. Both of you. You can't drive." Everyone else nods in agreement, even the drunkest among them.
"I'm fine," Jim insists, as he pats down his pants looking for his keys.
"Looking for these?" Dwight is standing in the doorway, holding Jim's keys up.
"Where did you - "
"It is my duty to make sure none of you leave without passing a field sobriety test, and you, Jim Halpert, have failed."
~
Dwight: Whenever we have these parties, I take everyone's keys. They usually leave them in their desk, or their coats, or sometimes their pants pockets. That one's a little trickier.
~
Pam, who has been silent the whole time, grabs Jim's arm and says, "They're right, Jim, we can't drive."
Jim sighs and nods slightly. "Then can someone drive us home?"
"Okay, who here among us has not been drinking?" Everyone looks around at each other. Toby raises his hand.
"I'm okay to drive," he says.
"Ugh, no. Didn't you lose your license like eight times or something? We want Jim and Pam to make it home alive," Michael retorts with disgust.
Angela, who is within earshot of the open doorway, offers, "Well, I don't drink so I guess I can take the two fornicators home."
Andy looks around, sheepishly, aware that Angela has been chugging his special 'nog all night. But before he can decide whether to say anything, Dwight intervenes.
"No, Angela, you've clearly been drinking the egg nog," he says sternly.
"What? The egg nog doesn't have alcohol..." She looks down at the cup and then at Andy. "You told me it didn't have booze in it!"
"Well, to be fair, the stuff that's still in the fridge doesn't have booze in it, so technically you just were drinking the wrong one...."
She gives him the evil eye of epic proportions then spins around and walks purposefully toward the front door, enraged.
Dwight stares at Andy for a few seconds before overly nonchalantly heading in the direction in which Angela went. He practically steps over Kelly, who is lying on the floor near Jim's desk, crying.
After a long while Andy says, "So. Should I go after her?"
Dwight finds Angela in the building lobby, staring at the snow on the other side of the glass door, which has piled up to nearly half her height. There is no way to open the door, as the weight of the snow is holding it shut. The parking lot is totally unplowed, and all of the cars are completely buried.
"Monkey?" Dwight calls softly.
She doesn't look up or say anything. He just stands there for a moment, until he realizes she's not going to answer to her pet name anymore, so he turns back toward the stairs.
"D?" she whispers.
He walks back. "Yeah?"
Suddenly she runs up and flings her arms around his neck, kissing him full on the mouth. Dwight is stunned for a second, and then kisses her back. And that's exactly when Andy exits the stairwell.
"WHAT THE - "
Dwight and Angela break apart, as Andy stands there, his mouth opened in shock.
Chapter End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
