Ignorance- lack of awareness or knowledge.
Chapter 2: Warm hands and pouring rain.
“Don’t you think you should say something to her?” Karen asked again, looping her arm through Jim’s.
He rolled his eyes and grew more annoyed every time she said it. The thing that irritated him the most was that she was right. He should have said something to Pam, whether it was yelling at her or telling her it was all ok. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to look at her, let alone talk with her.
He shut the car door and maneuvered his bag around his shoulder. “I don’t think I need to—“
“Don’t you think you should? I mean Roy attacked you.”
Jim winced when she said the word attacked. It made him feel like Roy was this huge animal that went on a rampage.
“I can come with you...” Karen offered.
He knew she was just trying to be nice but she really had no idea how bad of a wound she was poking and prodding at. “No, I’ll handle it. I just mean…later today.” He smiled slightly, giving her a kiss on the head as they tried to catch the elevator.
Jim put his hand between the two doors to stop them from closing. They latched open and he paused seeing Pam in the corner.
What was it with them and damn elevators lately?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Karen, Jim and Pam stood awkwardly in the elevator. Thank God he had remembered to push the button this time because much more of this and someone was going to have to break the silence, even if it had to be him.
Unfortunately, Karen got to it first. “So we’re still heading out tonight right?” she asked him sweetly, now holding his hand.
Jim glanced at Pam seeing her flinch and droop her head. He didn’t want to feel bad for her, because he and Karen were in a relationship. And that’s how a normal couple acted, talking about their dates in front of other people. But this was different. It was Pam. He didn’t want to do that to her, but he didn’t understand why. If he loved Karen, whom he was sure he did, he should have been able to do that.
He shook his head and whispered to her. “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”
Finally the bell dinged, signaling they could get off the elevator. Pam went first, Jim following, and an angry Karen following behind. What a perfect way to start the day.
~*~*~
Pam tried concentrating on the speech Michael was bantering in the conference room. Although every time she tried to focus she ended up staring out the window. Thank god Michael was hosting an absurd meeting; otherwise she’d be forced to stare at Jim instead of the pouring rain outside. The sky was nearly black and the clouds swooshed across it with a glimmering slowness. Pam usually loved to watch it rain outside, especially if she was in a crappy mood. It made her feel like the weather was much worse than how she was feeling.
Michael noticed she was staring out the window and rudely smacked his hand against the table, which grabbed her attention. “Are you writing all this down Pam?”
From force of habit she glanced at Jim, but as he looked up she turned her attention back to Michael and nodded. “Yeah, got it all right here.”
Michael nodded his head and barely glanced at her notes, which was good since it had ramblings and doodles covering it. He finally ended the speech trying to boost optimism but just got annoyed grumbles instead. She couldn’t even remember what he had been trying to talk about in this damn meeting until Michael told everyone to grab a “Hope and Dreams Survey.” She rolled her eyes, like her hopes and dreams really meant anything.
After two or three people grabbed their surveys, Dwight for some reason taking multiple sheets, she went to take her own. Although at that same time, Jim also reached for one. Their hands brushed slightly; Jim’s cold hand barely grasping Pam’s warm one.
She freezed, trying not to look up at him because she didn’t think he noticed that her hand is the one he touched. She finally looks at him and he pulls his hand back and shoves it into his pocket.
As he leaves without taking the paper she wonders if he felt the heat radiating from her skin within those ten seconds they were touching. It’d be impossible to miss. Especially since her cheeks flushed with crimson every time they were near.
~*~*~
Jim rubbed his hand where Pam’s warm fingers had been. He didn’t remember when things got so cold. When did things that used to make him warm turn to ice? Like Pam. All this time, all he ever knew was her and how she made him feel. He always felt warm with Karen but he never felt hot. At least not in the way Pam made him feel.
And it had nothing to do with sex, because with Pam it was always more than that. Not just empty sheets filled moans and movements of lust and abandonment. She was more. She was always more.
~*~*~
Pam took her seat back at reception and gathered her things to leave. She’d take the survey home and fill it out there, preferably with a wine bottle in close range. She couldn’t help rubbing her hands over where Jim’s cold fingers had been. She wondered when his hands had gotten so frozen, but then again that wasn’t that only thing with frigid temperatures lately. She missed feeling warm, the feeling of being with Jim.
She peered above the counter and saw Karen walk over to Jim’s desk and motioned to leave. But he shook his head and pointed to his computer which Karen didn’t seem so pleased about.
Pam shook her head and tore her eyes away. Why stare at something that’ll burn you’re eyes? She shut down her computer and went to the elevator. Why spend time trying to get that warmth back when he’s clearly given it to another?
~*~*~
Jim got out of the office an hour after he was supposed to. His damn work took twice as long with Dwight looking over his shoulder at everything he did. He knew he should have just left when he heard Dwight was staying late to work too, but he didn’t think he’d be that annoyed. In spite of that, at least he got that stupid survey done. He looked at his watch and realized he’d be late to meet Karen but he wasn’t going to kill himself trying to rush.
Trying to avoid the still pouring rain he sprinted to his car, managing to step in three puddles on the way.
“God damnit.” He grumbled quietly, lifting up his pant leg to see how much was wet.
As he turned his review mirror slightly he thought he saw Pam standing near the gate. He squinted at the mirror before turning to look out the passenger window. And sure enough, there she was. She was standing under a small umbrella that seemed to be doing little good. The wind was terrible out and she was struggling to keep the thing from turning inside out on her.
He can’t help but wonder what the hell she’s doing there, since work got out over an hour ago. He glanced around the parking lot for her car but then realized that was a stupid idea because if she had her car, she’d be in it. He looked at her and then turned around and gripped the steering wheel. He tried to think of why it wasn’t a good idea to be watching her, to want to take her home. But God help him, he couldn’t think of any.
So he grabbed his umbrella and got out of the car again, running into the same puddle as he walked over to her.
“Hey.” He said over the thunder. “What are you still doing here?”
She looked at him and her eyes were red. But he can’t tell if she’s actually crying because the rain is splashing her face. “Roy took the truck. He probably forgot about how I can’t take the bus anymore.” She was rambling. “The buses changed routes and everything. So the closest stop is 45 min away from my house. Plus, it’s Thursday, he has a poker game.”
He shook his head and wondered why she always felt the need to stick up for the dumbass. “You want a ride?”
Jim couldn’t believe he honestly asked her that. After all the promises he made to himself that he wasn’t going to get sucked in again; to fall so easily for this girl. He tried convincing himself that this was different; he couldn’t leave her to wait for a ride in the pouring rain. But still, part of him wished she’d say no. And he would nod, get back in his car and go home to Karen.
But she didn’t. “Yeah, thanks.” And she walked past him to his car.
Karen was going to kill him.
Author's Chapter Notes:
thanks to all who have been reading! constructive critisim welcome :D
