It was her laugh, mostly, that drew him to her. Karen laughed and it sounded like a woman who would give all of herself to him because she could. Because she had all of herself to give.

There was no furrow in her brow, no pain etched in her expression, no wounds lurking behind the depths of her eyes. She had no ties, no obligations, no years of history for him to compete with.

Her laugh sounded like freedom. Availability. Desire. Expectation. Being more than just friends.

Her laugh sounded like hope.

It was Thanksgiving day and he started to allow himself to enjoy the little things about her. The way she smiled in surprise when his fingers lingered a little bit longer on her shoulders than necessary when he was helping her into her coat. The way she elbowed him lightly when his grandmother set the cranberry sauce on the table where it would remain – untouched – for the duration of the meal. The way his mother would cast his brother knowing glances over the rim of her wine glass when he and Karen would whisper to each other between forkfuls of turkey and dressing.

“Jim, Karen tells us that you may be moving back to Scranton?”

His stomach knotted and the smile holding while he watched his baby niece rummage around in her food with her fingers fell off his lips.

Karen started nodding beside him, wiping her mouth demurely with her napkin before speaking. “Yeah, our branch manager Josh took another job with Staples. So they’re transferring some of us to Scranton and giving the rest a severance package for their years of service.”

“Service?” Jim’s brother Jonathon snorted.

“It’s the nice way of saying ‘you’re fired’ but no hard feelings,” Jim supplied uneasily.

His mother looked at him expectantly. All eyes turned to him and for the first time, Karen’s laughter started to sound like a truck horn blasting as it railroaded towards him at full speed.

“Jim seems to think I should go to the Albany branch instead, but I don’t know. From what I’ve seen of Scranton, I could see myself moving here and giving it a shot.” Her words were dripping with a question he didn’t quite know the answer to.

He forced a smile. “Karen’s a city girl at heart.”

“So what are you planning to do, Jim?”

“Larissa, let the boy eat,” his father admonished lightly, sensing his son’s hesitation.

“I don’t know, actually,” Jim cut in, scratching the side of his face, longing to feel the roughness of his scruff that he had shaved off this morning.

“Well you left because you were promoted, right? Surely that promotion would stick if you came back? I’m sure they don’t expect you to uproot your life again for less than what you making before, right?”

Jonathon cast Jim a pointed look that he chose to ignore. “I haven’t talked to anyone about the particulars.”

“Well, we’d love to have you back home. We miss you around here honey.” His mother’s warm tone cloaked him like an embrace.

“I miss you guys too. I just…it’s a lot to consider.”

Karen put her arm on his back and rubbed it lovingly. “When we go back, we’re going to set up a meeting with Jan to discuss all the options and determine pay and everything. But from what I’ve heard around the office is that they’re planning on giving Jim another promotion, to Assistant Regional Manager, if he comes to Scranton.”

Jim’s brows quirked together. “When did you hear that?”

“I kind of overheard Josh and Jan discussing how things had to be re-arranged since Josh was leaving. Your name came up quite a bit. Jan is very fond of you.” Her eyes shone with admiration and pride. “I’m sure they’ll meet whatever demands you have for moving back.”

“That’s excellent honey!” His mother brightened considerably. “It sounds like you’ve made quite the impression in Connecticut.”

Karen beamed. “He certainly has.”

Jim started to feel suffocated by the pressure of her hand intensifying on his back. He smiled weakly and excused himself from the table. Behind him, he heard his mother murmuring something about being ‘shy’.

***

He joined Jonathon on the couch after dessert, while Karen and his mother cleaned the kitchen. Though he had half heartedly offered to help, Karen told him that the ‘girls’ had it under control. Jim could tell his mother liked her. Any help in the kitchen was a blessing for a mother of two boys. 

“So.” Jonathon said, his eyebrows wagging in expectation.

“So?” Jim repeated, flipping to the football game. Detroit was losing, which wasn’t a surprise.

“I like Karen.”

It was a small declaration, one meant to broach a conversation Jim didn’t want to have.

“I do too,” Jim allowed, his eyes still trained on the television.

“Is it serious?”

“Uh…I don’t know.” He cast Jonathon a glance, coupled with a shrug. “It could be.”

“It could be?”

“Yeah. We’re just friends right now.”

Jonathon was quiet for a while and Jim assumed he was watching the game play out on the television when he spoke again. “You know, I haven’t seen you in months. Last time we talked, you were drunk and rambling on and on about you know who. Now you come home with a new girl that you’re just ‘friends’ with and you think it could be serious, but you haven’t made a move yet?” He shook his head. “What are you waiting for?” His voice lowered. “Pam? Pam is married, Jim. Its not gonna happen.”

Jim’s expression darkened. “I know that, Jon. But the reminder is a nice touch, thanks.”

“I’m serious. What are you waiting for? She’s hot. She’s obviously into you. She’s available. She’s perfect for you.”

“Is she?” Jim countered. He had been thinking the same thing all week. That she was perfect for him on paper. She inspired him to focus on work and it seemed to have gotten him a promotion. She interacted with his family and they loved her. She had a sense of humor that he could appreciate and she always seemed to get his jokes. But there was something missing, something organic that couldn’t be manufactured, no matter how hard she tried. And she was trying hard enough for the both of them.

Jonathon rolled his eyes. “Even if she’s not, you need to get back out there. Date around. Have some fun. You remember fun, right? It doesn’t include mooning over Pam.”

“I’m not mooning over Pam,” Jim retorted.

“No? Remind me again why you were in such a stellar mood when you got home the other night?”

Jim swallowed his reply when he realized he would be going down without a fight. He had made the mistake of admitting to Jonathon who he was with that night, when his bruised heart had shown transparently on his sleeve.

“Exactly. I don’t know what it is about her, Jim, but you turn into such a brooding sack of shit anytime you come into contact with her.”

“Eloquent.”

“Joke all you want. But I’m your brother. And I have to love you, so I want you to be happy. Go for it with Karen. Because a girl like that won’t be waiting around for you to get your shit together.”

Jonathon gave him a light punch to the shoulder and stood up, retreating upstairs for a post-Thanksgiving nap, leaving Jim to sit alone with his thoughts.

It had been almost four days since Pam had walked away from him that night at the school. He had longed to chase after her, to tell her that he was sorry, that he was wrong, that he would rather be her friend than be nothing. But then he knew he’d be stuck lapping up any extra bit of attention she would give him and he knew that it would have to be enough. He was tired of settling for scraps. He wanted more. And Pam couldn’t give it to him, so why shouldn’t he find someone who could? He wouldn’t have to look very far. Jonathon was right. Karen was beautiful and attainable and she very much wanted him. There was no misinterpreting that.

Karen was laughing at the story of Jim shooting Jonathon with a lawn dart when Jim came into the kitchen with a look on his face she had never seen before. It was the look she had been waiting for.

“Hey. You wanna get out of here?”