Jim took a deep breath and started to move towards the door. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He didn’t know what he would do once he opened the door. He wished for a moment that Pam‘s mom had stayed with him. He almost turned around to call after her, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the door. “One step at a time.” he thought to himself. He carefully place his hand on the door handle and pushed. The door opened quietly and he stepped into the dark room. He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting, but his breath immediately caught in his throat and tears filled his eyes the moment he saw her.

She was laying in the hospital bed with her left leg up a harness. There was a small table next to the bed with a vase of flowers and one of those Mylar balloons that said ‘Get Well Soon’. The curtains over the window were opened so that the moon shone through and made soft patterns on the floor. He took a tentative step closer to the bed. She had a large bandage on her forehead over her right eye. There were a couple small cuts around her mouth and a long gash across her left cheek. Her small hands were lying still on the gray hospital blanket. There were several dark bruises on her arms. He wondered how on earth, that even with the bruises and cuts and bandages and IV’s, she could still look beautiful. Her soft red curls were spread out over the pillow and through the cuts on her face he saw Pam….the Pam that he had watched so closely for so many years. This was the Pam that he knew secrets about and that knew ways to make him laugh when no one else could. He knew her favorite color, her favorite childhood memory and the way she liked her tea. He knew the face that she made after Michael said something stupid to her. He knew the mischievous look in her eye when she was helping him plot something to do to Dwight. He knew every roll of her eyes and what every change in her posture meant.

There was a small, black armchair next to the bed. Jim quietly moved towards it and sat down. As he looked at her lying there he ached to touch her. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make the bruises and cuts go away. He wanted to see her smile at him and most of all he wanted to tell her that he loved her. Right now, he couldn’t do any of that. All he could do was be here. He slowly took her hand in his and lightly brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Hi Pam”. He whispered. He had always heard that people in coma’s could hear what was going on around them even if they weren’t conscious. He didn’t know if that was true or not, but if it was….he wanted her to know that he was there. He didn’t know what to say. His heart was bursting with 1000 words and feelings, but he knew that there would be time for that later. It was then…in the quiet of the room….alone with Pam that he let his tears fall. They were tears of sadness, regret, pain, worry and surprisingly they were tears of hope. There would be time for everything else.

He must have dozed off because he awoke with a start to his cell phone ringing. He gently squeezed Pam’s hand and whispered “I’ll be right back”, then he quickly moved out of the room. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 7:45 am. He looked at the phone to see who was calling. The name ’Karen’ flashed on the screen. “Oh crap.” he thought. He had been so caught up in the emotion of the last few hours that he had forgotten about Karen. He flipped the phone open.

“Good Morning Halpert!!” Karen’s bright cheerful voice filled his ears. “Do you want to ride to work together today?”. He couldn’t think of what to say. She must of sensed a meaning behind his long pause because she asked, “Is everything okay?”.

He knew he had to answer her. “Actually, no…..everything isn’t okay”.

“Jim?”

“Oh Jim…I‘m sorry….”, there was a long pause on her end and he knew what was coming next. “Are you there?”.

He cleared his throat. He really wasn’t in the mood for the conversation that would inevitably follow his answer. Maybe she would wait for awhile, but sooner or later the subject would be brought up for the 100th time and he would have to try to push his feelings aside to spare hers.

Another long pause…..“So…..are you coming to work?”

He was starting to feel angry. That was the thing about Karen. She just didn’t understand. Whether or not him and Pam ever got together didn’t matter at this moment. For this moment Pam was his friend and he needed to be here for her.

For Jim to say that he was staying at the hospital with a girl that he had once had a “crush” on was an immediate red flag for Karen. She always knew deep down that he wasn’t with her 100%. If she was really honest with herself she would be able to say that she knew that Jim wasn’t in love with her. She knew that part of his heart belonged to someone else and there was little to no chance of him ever giving it to her. Still she had to try. She wanted to fight for him. To show him that there was someone that wanted him back. Pam had never done that. She had said no. She lost her chance.

Jim could almost hear the conversation that Karen was having in her head. He knew she was desperately trying to hang on. He knew she was trying to make him love her. For a long time he had wanted to love her. He was in love with the idea of being in love with her. She was great. Fun and smart and beautiful. She was sophisticated and could show him things about life that he hadn’t known before. But she wasn’t Pam. He always felt so guilty because in his subconscious he was always comparing the two. He didn’t mean too, it just happened. He had wanted to move on from Pam and he had really tried, but he could never shake the feeling that told him that he was still in love with her.

“Jim??” Karen’s voice broke through his memory.

“Yeah…I’m here…sorry. I probably won’t stay too long….I just want to be here in case….someone needs something. You know?”

“Yeah….I guess. What hospital are you at?” Karen sounded defeated, but as per usual she kept holding on.

“I’ll call you around lunch. Maybe we can meet up?” She asked and he could hear the hopefulness returning to her voice.

“Okay! Talk to you later!!” There was a click and then she was gone. Jim let out a sigh. He knew that it was over and he knew that he had to tell her…today. He cared for her and knew that she didn’t deserve to be hurt by him anymore than she already had.

Jim started to turn around to head back to Pam’s room when he nearly bumped into Jenn and Richard. “Hey Jim. Glad to see that your still here.” Richard said. “Yeah…I actually fell asleep in Pam’s room for a while. Great watchman I am.” Jim made a feeble attempt at a joke. Jenn and Richard both smiled.

“Do you feel like some breakfast?” Jenn asked.

Richard and Jenn headed towards her room. Jim turned to go back to the waiting room thinking that they would want their time with her. He was stopped by Jenn’s voice.

“Oh…um….” Jim stumbled.

“Come on….she needs all the support she can get right now.” Jenn held the door open for him and he followed Richard into the room. Jenn took the seat by her daughters bed with Jim and Richard standing close by. She gingerly picked up her hand and gave it a little squeeze.

“Hey honey. It’s Mom. Dad is here too….and Jim. I’m starting to believe all those nice things you said about him!” Richard cast a sideways smile at Jim and it felt good for Jim to smile back.

Jim was touched by the softness of Jenn’s voice and the obvious love for her daughter.

Richard walked over and carefully kissed his daughter on the head. “Love you.” he mumbled quietly.

Jenn stood up and her and Richard headed towards the door. Jim looked at Pam one more time and whispered, “I’ll be back.”

Jim was sitting with Richard and Jenn at a table in the cafeteria mindlessly picking at what was described on the menu as an egg and cheese biscuit, but looked and tasted more like white rubber sandwiched between two hard pancakes. None of them had really touched their food.

“Mom! Dad!” a voice called from across the cafeteria.

Jim looked up to see a tall, thin man that looked about 30 walking quickly across the room to their table.

Jenn stood up. “Rick!” she called out as she quickly wrapped her arms around him. Richard also stood to hug the man.

“I came as soon as I could. I had to wait forever for a flight.” Rick said. “How is she doing?”

“No change really. I am really glad you are here.” Jenn said softly. Then she turned back to the table. “Oh Rick….this is Jim…Pam’s friend.”

Rick turned to Jim and Jim stood to shake his hand. “Hey man…it’s nice to meet you. I‘m Rick…Pam‘s brother.” Rick said. “Jim…it’s nice to meet you too.”

The four of them sat back down at the table. Jim picked at his breakfast a bit more and then said, “I hope you’ll excuse me, but I have to go make some phone calls.”

“Of course.” Richard said. “We’re heading back up to Pam’s room, so meet us up there when your done…if your up for it.”

“I will….definitely. I’ll just be a minute or two.” Jim said.

He appreciated the way that her family seemed to include him as if they hadn‘t just met a few short hours earlier. They made him feel like they wanted him to be there. It reminded him of Pam. Even though she was shy she always tried to make people feel included.

Jim made his way outside to the parking lot. It actually felt good to be out in the morning light. The cool air was just what he needed to wake-up a little and feel refreshed. He dialed the number for Dunder Mifflin. He didn’t think that anyone would answer, so he was surprised to hear Michaels voice on the other end of the line.

“Dunder Mifflin….this is the king…of paper…” Michael started off on a random conversation…with himself…that would undoubtedly twist into something dirty and end with ‘That’s what she said’.

Jim wasn’t in the mood for this. “Michael,” he cut in, “It’s Jim.”

“Oh hey slim Jim. What’s up? I heard about Pamela. Is she okay? Phyllis told me what happened. What on earth? Is Roy there? Have you punched him?” Leave it to Michael to worry about the important things. Jim rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “She is in a coma Michael. The doctor says she should come out of it in a day or two. I’m going to stay here at the hospital for awhile. I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be coming in today.”

Then with the flip of a switch Michael turned from annoying and exasperating to calm and actually sensible. Jim wasn’t sure how he could do that, but he always seemed to at the oddest moments…when jokes just REALLY weren’t going to cut it.

“Of course, Jim. Phyllis told me you were there. I already had Toby start on paid emergency leave paperwork for you. Take as long as you need.” Jim was surprised by the genuine thoughtfulness in Michaels voice.

“Please do. We’re all worrying about her here. You know…she’s part of the Dunder Mifflin family!!” Then quick has he had turned into “normal” Michael he turned back to the Michael that Jim was most used too. “Do you think Karen minds that your at the hospital for another woman? Is she mad? Is there going to be a fight? What if Karen hooks up with Roy to get back at you…”

“Good bye Michael…” Jim cut him off and hung up the phone.

It was then that a thought struck him. Michael had asked if Roy was there. Jenn had said that Roy was fine…just a few bruises…so why wasn’t he here? Jim didn’t know why he cared really, but it seemed to him that if you were the cause of the woman you “loved” being in a coma you would at least try to stick around to see what happened. Jim looked around the parking lot. It was mostly empty. He couldn’t see the Vance Refrigeration truck anywhere so he assumed that Phyllis and Bob had gone home. He turned around to sit on the bench that was by the front door. He wasn’t quite ready to go back inside yet. He flipped open his phone and quickly dialed another number.

“Dude…what the hell? What are you calling me so freakin’ early?” The voice on the other end made Jim smile.

Jim really looked up to Jon. He couldn’t have asked for a better big brother. Jon was his friend, confidant and partner in crime. Whenever they were together one would get a glimpse of what their poor mother must have had to deal with their whole childhood. Whenever they were together they were back to being boys. There was wrestling, teasing and sarcastic remarks constantly.

“I have the day off…..and I was planning on spending it sleeping. Although apparently that is not going to be an option anymore.” Jon grumbled.

“Sorry man….didn’t realize that you were so unbelievably lazy.” Jim answered as he stretched his legs out in front of him. He was struck with the realization that he must look like a complete wreck. He was still wearing his gray plaid pajama bottoms and a faded University of Pennsylvania t-shirt. He looked down at his feet and snickered to himself. He had been in such a rush to get to the hospital that he had put on two different shoes.

“Naw…it’s alright.” Jon said. “What’s up with you anyways? Aren’t you busy selling paper or something equally exciting?”

“Yeah, yeah….you just remember that when you find your shoes glued to the floor again.” Jon laughed. “So…slow morning?”

Jim cleared his throat. “No….actually I am at the hospital.”

“Yeah…I’m fine. It’s Pam…” Jim knew that he didn’t even have to explain who Pam was. Jon had been his go-to guy with everything Pam related. He was the one Jim called on the nights when Jim couldn’t sleep because he was so mad at the world. The world that let a guy like Roy have a girl like Pam. Jon was the one that picked Jim up from Casino night when Jim was so brokenhearted that he knew driving himself home would end disastrously. Jon was the one who tried everything to stop Jim from moving to Stamford, but then finally just gave him a hug, said, “It will work out.” and let him go. Jon had never met Pam before, but he knew that she had to be something really special to have that kind of hold on his brother.

“What happened?” Jim could hear Jon opening and shutting drawers and he knew that Jon was trying to get dressed so that he could come and help Jim in whatever way he could.

“She got in a car accident. She is in a coma.” Jim muttered. Just that phrase “she is in a coma” made him want to cry and scream and punch a hole in the wall all the same time. He still couldn’t believe that she was lying in a hospital bed unconscious.

“Where are you at?” Jon said.

“I’m on my way…” and with that the phone line went dead.