When Jim woke up in the morning, he would have never guessed that this was the day he was going to kiss Pam Beesly for the first time – she totally caught him by surprise.
He was positive he hadn’t start it. He wouldn’t be that foolish to risk his change (if he even had one) at... anything with Pam. It must have been all her.
And he was even more sure that he wasn’t going to be the one to put a stop to it.
She had put her hands on the back of his neck and tiptoed a little to reach him. And as he closed his eyes, he felt so much emotion in that one kiss; passion, fire, desire, love... relief.
It made him feel like he had never been kissed before, as if this was his first real kiss. The one you dream about when your just a kid. The one you wish, wait, and long for. He never realized until this moment that kiss had never really happened. All the previous ones now seemed flat, shallow, and empty.
He smiled as he realized how new experiences could change his past.
And somehow, anyone he’d ever held before had never seemed to fit in his arms the way she did. They were like two puzzle pieces clicking together. And even though he’d never given much value to sentences like: “she completes me”, he couldn’t think of a better way to describe what she did to him.
He softly leaned in and deepened their kiss.
***
It was as if her head was filled up with clouds, but only one word shone through like a golden sun; finally...
It was then that she realized she had already made her decision.
And then she surrendered.
She pressed her body against his, trying to get as close as she possibly could even though she felt like it would never be close enough. She could feel one of his hands still lingering on the small of her back and the other one in her hair. It drove her crazy.
Her passion was almost scary to her. She’d never had this with Roy, not even in the beginning. But she had longed for Jim for so long. She had denied and neglected her feelings, unwilling to except their consequences.
But she was only human.
She pulled back, soft enough to not make it feel like a rejection or another escape. And then she just stood there, still holding him, incapable of saying a word.
“Pam..?” he softly whispered.
She kept staring at his chest, rising and falling. Then one of the tears she was holding back fought it’s way out and escaped from her eye, rolling down her cheek.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he said as he slowly tilted her head up so she was facing him.
“I don’t want you to rush things.”
And she loved him even more when he said that, and as the tear reached the corner of her lips she gave him a little smile. He gently brushed it away with his thumb.
“Thank you,” she sighed.
“Really not a big deal,” he smiled.
“Not that, you smartass. I mean really,” she looked him deep in his eyes, “thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you and for understanding me.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “This is hard for me. I care about him, I do. That’s not why I... I mean... this, just now? You have no idea how much that meant to me, how much courage it took me to... I just... I’m scared.” She sighed again.
“I know, Pam. It really is okay though. I’ve waited so long for this and I think I can wait a little longer.”
She hugged him, grateful for his words and he sofly whispered in her ear: “I love you, Pam.”
She hesitated, but he put his finger on her lips and said: “Don’t say it. Not yet. This is good enough for now. Don’t say it until you’re ready.”
She smiled once again. His words lifted a huge weight from her shoulders.
“So,” he said, “I think we could try to get out of these bushes discretely, and maybe get something to eat somewhere. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
“Me too. Let’s just, slip through here,” she squeezed herself between the bushes and the wall and reached the main path of the zoo. Then, she grabbed Jim’s arm and tried to pull him towards her, which was rather complicated because he got stuck between the trees and the wall.
“God, you are so tall!” She laughed.
“Yeah, well, that usually comes in handy.” He made a painful face and squeezed himself out while Pam started giggling uncontrollably. He stared at her with a semi-offended face.
“Seriously, Beesly, it’s not that funny.” Suddenly he was amazed how quick they’d gone back to acting like their normal selfs.
“Oh it so is!”
“Is not!”
“I’m not reverting to this childlike behaviour, but I am in fact right.” She smiled triumphantly as she picked a small piece of brushwood out of his hair.
“Fine. You win.”
“Thank you!”
“Now, can we please get something to eat?”
It was then they noticed an elderly woman staring at them. She hadn’t made sound and was just standing there, with a subtle smile on her face.
“Oh!” Jim said, surprised, “Excuse us, ma’am, we didn’t see you there.” He was silently blaming himself for not noticing her. He didn’t want to put Pam in an uncomfortable situation.
“Don’t worry about it,” she answered, in a shrieky voice, “it’s always nice to see there are still couples like you out there.”
“Thank... you..” Jim said, hesitantly.
“Now you kids have fun today!” The old lady said, grinning.
“Oh, we will!”
He couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he heard Pam say that. She obvioulsy didn’t mind the old lady thinking they were a couple. And neither did he.
And then she grabbed his hand. He was positive she could hear his heart pounding.
“So, you want to get out of here, and maybe get some lunch?” She asked.
“Absolutely, I do,” he grinned. “It’s getting way too crowded here anyway.”
***
They were nearing the exit. He looked at his watch; 1:23 pm. The regular crowd was entering the zoo. Suddenly he saw a glimpse of Jason.
“Hey, Pam? Could you just wait here for one second? I’m just going to say thanks to Jason real quick.”
“Okay, give him my thanks too!”
“I will. Be right back!” He was already running away.
“Jason!!” He shouted. “Wait up, man!” He grabbed Jason by his shoulder.
“Jim! How was your morning?”
“Great.” He was panting.
“Great? Yeah, I thought so. She’s really hot!”
“Come on... man... That’s not...” he was trying to catch his breath.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Inner beauty! She still looks hot though.”
They grinned at each other.
“I wanted to say thanks, Jason. I really appreciated it, and so did Pam.”
“Well, any time man! Any time. And now go back to her, you fool! You don’t want to keep her waiting.”
“Alright, alright, I’m going. I’ll see you when I see you!”
“Yeah, definitely! Feel free to bring her along! I’d love to see her inner beauty!”
***
Pam was over thinking her morning with Jim. It had been wonderful, no doubt about that. But it also radically changed her world. And that was the one and only reason why she had been avoiding this in the first place. She didn’t want to hurt Roy, or his family. She was afraid of the mess she would have to make in order to be with Jim. But he could make her forget about all of that so easily. And from that moment on, she was convinced it was going to be worth it.
“I’m back!” He melted her with the look in his eyes.
“Finally,” she said, “So where do you want to go?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay (again)!! I got so caught up in reading girly-girl truth or dare! and many other great stories that it took me longer to write this than I'd planned. But here it is!!
Major thanks to flonkertonxx once again, for still being my wonderful beta. You're great!
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Major thanks to flonkertonxx once again, for still being my wonderful beta. You're great!
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Chapter End Notes:
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