Dear Pam,
Can’t say I wasn’t a bit in shock when I learned you found my poem. I actually do think it was kind of rude of you to read it since I never ment for you to even recieve it. But it’s not that big of a deal. I understand it, and to be honest, I probably would have done the same. This does change our situation a bit though. But maybe it’s a good thing you know now –
I’m in love with you Pam. Not really brave to tell you this on paper, but I figured it would be good enough for now. I think I have always loved you since the first time we met, and it seems like my feelings have only grown stronger every day. Thought I might give you a little insight in how these past few months have been for me.
At first I truly believed I could just be your friend. I really did. And things went great for a while. But I never really was completely honest with myself. I always, sort of, denied the existence of Roy and your engagement with him. I would simply suppress those thoughts, and I got pretty good at that.
But it all became so complicated after the booze cruise. Trust me, seeing you smiling while planning your wedding – it broke me. And I felt like I couldn’t allow myself to have fun with you anymore, because it would mean so much more to me than it would to you. I admit it; I was afraid.
I was afraid of the pain I felt whenever I snapped back to reality. Because with you, I really was just living a dream.
I was afraid of dealing with that. And even though I did have broken hearts before, this felt totally different. This really physically hurt. And ironically enough, the only one who could lift these sorrows of my shoulders, was you.
I felt lost. And when I feel lost, I always tend to try to write things off of me so to speak. It helps me to put things back in perspective a bit. So that’s what I did.
Finding and reading your letter was... I never would have seen it coming. But you need to understand this Pam; it gives me hope. You know that right? So all I’m asking is, if you are going to stay with Roy, you shouldn’t send me these mixed signals, for both our sakes. If you’re really going to marry him, you need to be straight with me.
I only want what’s best for you Pam, but I can’t keep on neglecting my own feelings.
Yup, that pretty much sums it up. Just so you know; I’ve written many poems about you. You do inspire me Beesly. And I think I am ready to share another one with you. I do not consider myself a poet so don’t expect too much.
Here goes nothing:
Whenever I hear the song of a nightingale,
Her sound is so sweet, and so clear
Stripped of all worries and sorrow
She becomes my Muze.
It makes me feel like It’s all I ever need
Her song, plain and pure
As It slowly and peacefully paralizes my muscles
And I can finally let go.
So I search for her
I can feel that she’s close
And I Keep listening with amazement
But she never shows.
I have no goal but to keep searching
This little, fragile singer in the evening twilight
With her enchanting voice –
She has become my Muze.
Love,
Jim
Ps. Yes, I did just compare you to a nightingale. I know, pretty cliché, but I don’t care. As I said, I’m not a poet. I should only care about the condition and prices of paper, not what’s written on it.
It’s almost five. I’m going to wait here until you leave and then drop this at your desk. Might be a nice suprise for you tomorrow morning.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So I was out camping and I got this idea (for the poem).
Jim finally responds!
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Jim finally responds!
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Chapter End Notes:
I don't really write poems that much. Hope I don't suck :P
Reviews are great!!
Reviews are great!!
09imagine09 is the author of 2 other stories.
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