Jim opened the doors to the Dunder-Mifflin office a little before five.  The receptionist, Lisa stood up, "Oh! Jim, Pam has been calling."

He headed toward his desk, "Okay."

"It's just...it kind of sounded important."

He tried his best to be nice, "Thanks, I'll call her."  He sat, but the girl still stood, obviously concerned.  She, like everyone in the office, was worried about him.

Right after it had happened, David Wallace called him at home to say that he didn't have to come back to work until he was ready.  That he would take care of he and Pam in any way he could.  But Jim was stubborn and came back to work the next Monday.  Michael had been quiet, and Phyllis had left a list of support groups on his desk while he was at lunch.  But he blocked it all out, kept on with his life like nothing had ever happened.  His emotions had gone into survival mode.  He just did what he had to do, never stopping to think about what state of mind someone in his situation should be.

Jim stayed until well after five, trying to find things to do.  He'd never admit it to himself but he'd gotten pretty good at staying late at work. But Michael appeared at his desk, asking him as nicely as he knew how to go home to his wife.

The house was quiet when he walked in the door.  He started setting his things on the counter when he heard Pam behind him, "I've been calling you all day."

He began his usual excuse, "I know. I just had a lot to do..." When he turned around he saw Pam standing in the hallway, her face was red and her eyes were swollen.  Jim reached for the phone, "Do you need me to call Dr. Hayes?"

She quickly turned on her heels and ducked into the bedroom, he'd apparently said the wrong thing.

He ran his hands over his face before following her.

Jim was far from prepared for the scene that awaited him in the bedroom.  Pam was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a pregnancy test in her hand.  There suddenly wasn't enough air in the room.

"Is that...is it positive?" he gulped, he could swear his stomach was in his throat.

Her head barely moved, but it registered as a nod yes.

He muttered a curse or two and buried his head in his hands, "Holy shit." He whispered.  He heard Pam bursting into loud sobs across the room. 

"How?" he'd managed after a moment.

She managed a half-smile through her tears and anger, "Do you need me to explain it to you?"

"Well, I mean..." he was struggling with the words, his tongue didn't seem to quite fit in his mouth, "How do you feel?  Like, what do you think?"

"It isn't what I wanted.  I wasn't ready...you knew that."  Stepped back into the bathroom and shut the door.

He was completely to blame, she wasn't ready.  But he had started it.

It was a regular Thursday night.  Pam hadn't gotten off of the couch to greet him, but he'd started dinner anyway.  He worked silently until she announced that she needed a shower.

Forty minutes went by and dinner was ready, but Pam hadn't returned from her shower.  Jim turned off the oven and sighed heavily before going to check on her.  He knocked softly on the bathroom door, when she didn't answer he went on in.  He could hear her crying clearly over the sound of the running water. 

"Pam, come on...you need to eat something."

Once again, no answer.

"Please, just come on out."  He pulled back the curtain to find her curled up in the fetal position in the tub.  He turned off the water and tried to hold back his own emotions while he reached for her.  Her body was heavy, wet, and completely uncooperative.  Once he'd gotten her out of the tub and into his arms he carried her to the bedroom and placed her soaking wet onto the bed. 

He'd hastily removed his now soaked shirt before turning his attention back to his wife.  She was writhing, naked on the bed unable to control the grief that was taking over her body. 

Jim sat on the edge of the bed, "Pam, come on...hey, I need you to calm down."

She started to choke on her own saliva and he couldn't take much more.  He gathered her into his arms.  He held her tightly to keep her from shaking so violently.  His hand wrapped around her neck and he put his mouth right to her ear and whispered as calmly as he could muster.

"Pam, please listen to me. I need you to calm down and be here with me right now.  Come on Pam." He kissed her temple, "I know Pam.  I know how bad it hurts."

She took a gasping breath and clutched at his skin.

He pressed his lips tightly to her shoulder, "I know it feels like it, but I promise you aren't going to die from this."

She began to relax just a little and he looked down at the shell of a woman that was falling apart in his lap.  He missed his wife, the bright young woman he'd fallen in love with.  He would have given anything to have just a tenth of her back.

He hurt just as much as her, and he needed her so badly in that moment.

All of the sadness, confusion, and pure exhaustion just took over.  He started to let his hands wander over her naked skin.  She immediately tensed again, a strangled cry in the back of her throat.

Jim closed his eyes tightly, "No, no no...shhhh" he whispered.

He slid down further onto the bed, keeping her tight in his grasp.  He let the hand that was holding her waist drift down her thighs.

Her voice was so small when she protested, "Jim, I can't.  Please, I can't."

His hands kept moving.  "It's okay.  I promise it's okay."  He kissed her lips but they were just as tense as the rest of her.  He sat up on his elbows and turned her face to look him in the eyes.

His voice was thick with tears, "Pam I need you.  God, I just need something to be normal. Please, just let me make love to you.  That's all I want.  Can I please just love you Pam?"

She sighed his name softly, and as soon as her muscles gave way he didn't waste a second.

Afterward, he'd kind of felt like shit.  He'd been too forceful, it wasn't what she wanted.  But she'd grabbed his face and kissed him more passionately than she had in years.  She thanked him profusely before finally falling into the longest sleep she'd had in months.

Jim knocked softly on the bathroom door once he'd gotten his breathing under control, "Can I come in please?"

He heard her shuffle on the floor and the lock opened with a small click.  He opened the door slowly to find her tucked against the wall between the toilet and the sink. 

He slid down the wall to sit across from her.

"This is my fault."  He admitted quietly.

"No, it's not.  I've been bad about taking my birth control."

"Well, you've been under a lot of stress."

With each whispered word the tension in the room slowly started to melt.

"What are you thinking?" he asked carefully.

"I'm really not sure," she sighed, the tears started welling up in her eyes.  He reached for her and she eagerly climbed into his lap.  She buried her head into the crook of his neck.  "I don't know Jim.  I just don't know if I can do it again.  I don't think I'm ready."

"Well, do you want to just...take care of it?"

Before he could say another thing his left cheek was burning and Pam was storming out of the room screaming, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

He really wasn't sure anymore.