*
I wondered sometimes if she’d get sick of having me around all the time. Three months into our relationship, there was already something so… ordinary… in the way we spent our time together. Ordinary in the best possible way, though; ordinary in that I felt enough at home in her apartment to fall asleep on her couch watching a movie on a Sunday afternoon, ordinary in that she always knew when I was running low on milk or toilet paper or laundry soap. Yet as quickly and easily as we intertwined ourselves into each other’s homes and lives, it was still a little startling to realize there were whole chapters of Pam’s history I’d never read. Never knew existed, in fact.
Early on a Saturday afternoon in August, she answered the phone and proved to me, again, that I didn’t know her as completely as I’d assumed.
“Oh, hi Liz.” I watched as Pam’s eyebrows drew together in surprise, and then her whole face lit up in delight. “That’s—when did you…oh, so that…” She threw a happy glance at me, squeezed my knee, and then got up and walked into the kitchen, grinning widely.
I wracked my memory for mention of a Liz and kept coming up blank. Pam only had a couple of close girlfriends, and I thought I knew all their names. Tammy from high school, who lived in Seattle now. Rachel from her advanced drawing class. Sarah, her neighbor from across the street when she lived with what’s-his-face.
Pam started rattling around putting on water for tea and I forced myself not to strain to eavesdrop on their conversation. By the time she flipped the phone shut fifteen minutes later and came back to the couch with a mug of tea in one hand and an open beer in the other, I’d managed to get back into the movie—Aliens—even though I’d seen it a million times.
They mostly come out at night. Mostly.
She handed the beer to me. “Hey, Jim?”
Her voice was nervous. Something bad, maybe. Don’t jump to conclusions. “Mmm?” I murmured, feigning nonchalance.
“That was Liz. Roy’s sister.” The uncertainty in her face suddenly disappeared into a radiant smile. “So I don’t think I ever told you about this but she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for years. Like eight years. And they finally had a baby! A little girl. She was born last night and—well, Liz asked me to come down and see her.”
I knew my expression had changed at the mention of Roy’s sister and the way her eyes dropped down to stare at her fingernails told me I hadn’t rearranged it into something more enthusiastic and supportive. “That’s great,” I managed finally. “Where is she?”
Her gaze came back up to meet mine; her smile returned. “Mercy.”
I forced myself to stop thinking about how Roy was never ever going to just fucking disappear from our lives and consider the circumstances for what they were. Eight years. Holy crap. What if that happens to us? “Eight years, huh? That’s a long time…the baby’s okay?”
“Yeah, she’s kind of small, just barely six pounds, but Liz says they’re both doing great. Jim,” she said in a rush, “come with me. Please? Liz wants to meet you.”
I stared at her. “You can’t be serious.”
She nodded vigorously. “She was the only one who was nice to me when I broke up with Roy. I told her about you…I mean she knew you and I were friends, and…just, please?”
I couldn’t imagine anything I’d like to do less than pay a visit to any one of Roy’s relatives, but what could I do? When she looked at me like that, saying no was just not an option. “Of course,” I sighed, unable to keep the reluctance out of my reply, but she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight and kissed me, hard, and a little awkwardness seemed a small price to pay to make her so happy.
**********
To my vast relief, Roy’s sister was alone when we arrived. Her face lit up at the sight of Pam and I hung back as they squealed their greetings and Pam bent down to hug her. Liz looked older than Roy, maybe in her mid-thirties, but she was rather pretty, with long, straight, dark-blonde hair and wide brown eyes. She reminded me of somebody, but I couldn’t quite place it.
“So, this is Jim,” Pam was saying as she straightened up, turning to beckon me closer. “Liz, Jim, Jim, Liz.”
“Hi Jim.” Liz smiled, glanced at Pam, looked back at me. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, um…congratulations,” I said, summoning my best salesman’s smile and focusing on the tiny bundle she was holding against her chest. All I could see was the pink blanket, a tiny white hat covering the small head, a bit of smooth cheek.
“Want to hold her?” Liz asked Pam. She surprised me by nodding and reaching for the baby without hesitation. “Thanks for coming,” Liz said, looking at me.
I glanced at Pam but she was entranced with the baby. For a girl who professed to be a little afraid of children, Pam certainly seemed comfortable holding her, rocking her back and forth in her arms and cooing softly, smiling down like it was her own child.
“Oh, yeah, of course,” I said finally. “Have you picked out a name?”
“Samantha,” Liz and Pam answered at once. Liz gave a thoughtful, sad kind of smile. “After Keith’s sister. They were twins, but she died when she was a baby.”
“Oh.” I didn’t really know what to say to that. I shifted on my feet, trying not to fidget too much, wondering how long was polite before we could get out of here. I couldn’t stop glancing at the door, wondering when Roy was going to show up.
Pam looked up at me with the softest, gentlest smile I’d ever seen, and we looked at each other for a long, thoughtful moment. She asked me with a slight raising of her eyebrows if I wanted to hold Samantha, and when my widened eyes conveyed my answer she gave me an amused smile and turned her attention back to the baby.
My heart did a little flip in my chest. This could be us in a few years.
*********
It turned out Liz was great. Having met Kenny, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but she was funny and genuine and I felt bad that I really, really hadn’t wanted any part of this. It was a strange kind of wonderful to see Pam with the baby. It got me thinking all kinds of things I didn’t have any business pondering yet.
We didn’t stay long, less than an hour, and were maybe twenty steps from the elevator when I marveled inwardly that we’d managed to do this without running into Roy. So, naturally, I was immediately punished for this premature celebration.
He’d just stepped off the elevator, his face half hidden by the large spray of pink carnations flagged with a balloon proclaiming It’s a Girl! he was cradling in his left arm. “Hey Pammy!” He beamed at Pam for several long seconds before glancing over at me with a slightly less enthusiastic but still-friendly smile.
“Hey, Roy.” Pam squeezed my hand briefly but tightly before stepping forward to give Roy a one-armed embrace. “It’s good to see you,” she said, smiling up at him affectionately. “You look good.”
I had to admit, he did look good. He’d shaved the beard and trimmed off a few pounds. He’d even dressed up a little in a blue blazer and a nice dress shirt with his jeans.
“You too.” He glanced from her to me, and to my surprise, extended his hand to me. “Hey, Jim. How’s it going?”
“Good, good. Congratulations. The baby—she’s really cute,” I offered.
“A long time coming,” he agreed, smiling widely. “Did Pammy tell you about how long—yeah, crazy, right?” he interrupted himself when I nodded. “It’s like a miracle.”
“Definitely,” I agreed.
He looked back at Pam. “You’ve already been in to see her?”
“Yeah, we were just heading out, actually,” she said apologetically. “But—Jim, wait for me? I need to use the restroom.” She gestured back down the hallway at the door we’d passed. “I’ll be right back.”
I knew my eyes said Don’t you dare leave me here alone with him! but she gave me a sweet and slightly pleading smile before glancing over at Roy, her smile growing into something wide and beautiful. “Liz looks really great,” she said gently. “It’s… it’s just really nice.”
Roy nodded. I pressed my palms against my hips and stared at the poster of a smiling baby, feeling a little like an intruder.
“She looks happy,” Roy remarked, watching Pam as she walked down the hallway. “Guess you two are doin’ pretty good then?”
“Yeah. Yeah, things are…good.” I shifted on my feet uncomfortably, but he was smiling, didn’t seem upset or resentful or like he secretly or not-so-secretly still wanted to kick my ass. “Are you, uh, seeing anyone?”
He tore his gaze away from Pam and looked back over at me. “Not really. I was seeing this girl from Pittsfield for a while but she was just…” He shrugged. “Listen, I’m glad Pam’s happy, Halpert. She’s a good girl. Don’t fuck around with her.”
I pressed my lips together to keep my mouth shut and just looked at him. Who the hell did he think he was, telling me how to treat Pam?
He bit his lip. “I just mean—you know, don’t…take her for granted.” His eyes flicked over my face rapidly and he gave me a crooked, wry kind of smile. “But, you probably already know that.”
Yes. Yes I do. I shrugged, smiled a little, shoved my hands into my pockets.
“Thanks for bringing her down, man. My sister… they really deserve this, you know?” He stared over my shoulder down the hallway, then back at me, and his eyes were actually shining.
I’d never seen him like that, stripped of all his machismo, and for just a second I saw him the way I guess Pam always had. Friendly, humble, ordinary.
I wasn’t used to thinking of Roy as anything other than a self-centered prick. Wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“Well, I’m gonna head on in,” he jerked his chin to gesture down the hallway, “but, uh, tell Pammy I said goodbye, and, um, take it easy.” He smiled again, reached up to clap me on the shoulder. “See ya around.”
“Take it easy,” I echoed.
Congratulations again, universe: I kind of don’t hate Roy Anderson.
Pam emerged from the bathroom, glancing around with a puzzled frown as we strolled toward the elevator. “Where’s Roy?”
“Went on ahead to see Liz. He said to tell you goodbye.”
“Oh. Sorry about that,” she said meekly. “I really had to go.”
“Yeah, sure,” I grumbled. “It’s okay. He was…nice.”
“And were you nice, back?” She lifted an eyebrow.
“I was courteous and receptive to courtesy.”
She laughed, linking her arm through mine as we stepped into the elevator. “Well done, young Starling.” She gave me a brief, tight squeeze, stumbling into me a little as she did so, and smiled up at me. “Jim, thank you.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay.”
“Seriously,” she said earnestly. “You’re so…great. How did you get to be so great?”
“It’s the Halpert gene. All the Halpert men are inherently awesome.” The elevator door dinged open and I took a deep, relieved breath. She wouldn’t think I was so great if she knew how I really felt about all this.
“Then I’m lucky to have a Halpert man,” she said happily, releasing my arm and catching my hand in hers instead. “Let me take you to lunch.”
I swung her hand. “Aaah, you don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I want to.” She looked up at me with that smile I loved the most, the one that was just openly adoring. It made me feel warm and weightless and utterly at peace with the world.
“All righty,” I said agreeably. “Where do you want to go?”
“Cugino’s?”
I smiled. “Always a good choice.”
“She looks really good for just having a baby, don’t you think?” Pam remarked as I opened the passenger door for her. “You know, I always thought she looked like Bonnie Hunt.”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, startling her. “That’s it!”
She glanced up at me, puzzled, and then grinned. “Right?”
“It was gonna drive me crazy wondering who she reminded me of. Thank you.” I ducked down to give her a kiss.
She laughed, stretching up on her toes to meet me halfway. “You’re so easy to please, Halpert.”
You have no idea. “Don’t get cocky,” I chided. “You don’t think I’m not gonna get you back for leaving me there with your ex, do you?”
“Ooh, I’m scared,” she mocked, sliding into the passenger seat and quickly shutting the door, grinning up at me through the window.
I shook my head at her and tried to look stern. You’re gonna get it.
Her expression said that was just fine.
*
Author's Chapter Notes:
I have a seven-page paper due for my organizing information class tomorrow, so I'm doing this instead of finishing my assignment. Because that's what procrastinators do.
Thanks to everyone who's actually still reading this. Your comments are highly appreciated!
Thanks to everyone who's actually still reading this. Your comments are highly appreciated!
Chapter End Notes:
I guess I've been wondering how Pam's whole life up to this point and Roy's part in it would still pop up on occasion?
Next up... Pam hasn't met Jim's sister yet. That could be fun.
Next up... Pam hasn't met Jim's sister yet. That could be fun.
