Match

Jim stares at her across the table and smiles. 

She looks at him and wonders briefly if there's something on her face. "What?"

He doesn't have a reason.  He simply likes looking at her.

"Nothing."  He shrugs.

She smiles.  "If it's nothing stop looking at me like that."

He breathes out, his eyes take her in.  His hand slides across the small table and his fingers brush hers. 

His thumb rubs over the deep blue stone, slides across the platinum band underneath.   "It's just…are we really sitting here?"

She takes a sip of her champagne, the bubbles tickling her nose and making her giddy. 

"I know that I'm really sitting here."  She leans forward, her brow wrinkles with concern.  "Jim.  Are you feeling alright?"

He narrows his eyes at her.  "You know what I mean."

"Yeah."  She reaches out, clasps his other hand in hers.  "I know what you mean."

xoxoxoxoxoxo 

That first night they'd sat in his car like kids on the last day of summer, not wanting to go back to school.

Pam wrung her hands in her lap, her fingers rustling the silk of her dress.  "It's not going to be easy."  She began, stating the obvious.

"Not at all."  He agreed.

She continued to stare downward and he continued to feel uneasy. 

He tried to keep the question to himself, but it slipped out again before he could stop it.

"Are you sure about this?"

She looked up, met his gaze.  "You need to stop asking me that."

He needed to be sure, before he let himself fall deeper - as if that was at all possible. "I just don't want you changing your mind."

She sighed as her hand reached up to run across his cheek.  Her thumb grazed his bottom lip as she whispered.  "I think it's too late for that.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

There's a breeze stirring the curtains, the scent of the sea fills the air. This was the perfect place to begin the rest of their life, he thinks smugly, incredibly proud of himself.

He'd been the one to find it.

Music floats up from the outdoor bar down below.  Hearing a song she recognizes she walks easily into his arms. She settles there immediately as if she'd always been meant to stay there.

Of course - she had been.  They both knew it now.

And now, in this place, together, it was easy to reminisce.

"I can't believe we've never danced before tonight."  She says softly as she sways to the strains of a saxophone.  Even the music is slow and easy, just like she'd always imagined it would be. 

His feet knock against hers and she steps on his toes as a warning. 

He spins her, but he's no where near as graceful as she'd imagined way back when.  She squeals and grasps his shoulders, hanging on for dear life as he dips her deeply. 

He kisses her with the same thoroughness and she has to catch her breath when she's upright again.

"I can't believe I almost let you get away."  He replies.

"I can't believe I fell for your bluff."  She follows his lead, turns a full circle in his arms.  "Leaving me there, thinking it was all over and then bam! You come upstairs and lay one right on me."

"OK, Miss Misinterpret."  He gives her a condescending look.

She gently applies pressure on the back of his neck to bring his face close to hers again.  "That's Mrs. Misinterpret, to you."  She kisses him deeply before she twirls away from him.  "Get the name right."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

The clock ticked on. 

He knew that she was stalling.  There was no simple fix to this.  It was the most complicated of complicated situations.

Still he needed to hear her say something more.

His lips brushed her ear, making her shiver.  "I kept waiting."

"So did I."  She replied, her fingers curling into the cotton of his sweater. "I kept thinking you'd do something or say something to make me stop."

She ducked her head, inhaled deeply.  Her lips curved into a grin.   "God.  We are both such wusses."  She giggled into his shoulder.

He laughed back at her, the sound almost like thunder rolling low and deep in his chest. 

He'd imagined this whole thing differently - imagined something far more romantic occurring on the night they finally had come to their senses. 

He told her as much.  "You know, somehow this isn't how I thought this conversation would go. I thought you'd be serious for once."

She tilted her face up to his again, laughter lighting her eyes.  "C'mon. How could you?"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

On the night that marked their "last" official date, their conversation turned to their "first". 

"It just…killed me.  I had no idea what to do with myself.  I couldn't believe it.   It was like I had known you forever."  She sniffled a bit, shifted in his lap.

It had be similar for him.  He had known, even then that if he'd had a chance with her it would be something different...more...

It was exactly the reason why it'd been so hard for him to move on.

His hand reaches up to rub a circle over her back.  "Are you going to get all sappy on me Beesly?"

That wasn't exactly her name anymore, but she didn't bother to correct him.  She drew her hand across her cheek to catch an errant tear.  "A little bit."

She knew that he wasn't exaggerating when she heard him whisper.  "You scared me to death."

It always made her heart hurt to hear him say things like that.  She had always thought he'd been the one who was so sure.

His arms tighten around her.  "For a while there I really thought you were going to go through with it."

She touches her mouth to his.  "For a while there I really thought I might have to."

His hands find her hair, his fingers weaving through her curls.  "I guess we should have had a meeting or something back then to - you know - outline our goals."

"Probably would have been a good idea."  She agrees.  "It could have saved us a lot of time."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

The conversation continued to be almost irreverent.  It's taken her a while to get her breathing under control. 

She looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks.  ”God. This is going to suck."

A stray curl laid flat against her cheek.  His hand reached out to brush it away. "Probably." 

Desperation fills every one of her features.  "I don't really even know what to do."

He knows he's not being the most helpful, but he can't help himself. 

"Here's a start.  Return your wedding dress."

A short laugh burst from her mouth as she glared at him.  "Jim." 

She tore her eyes from his, tried to will her mind to stop spinning.  "It's not going to be that simple."

"I know."  He says solemnly.

The next words she spoke cause him to wince on her behalf.  The emotions flooding through them both nearly were causing them physical pain. 

"I don't want to hurt him."

"I know."

She took a deep breath, turned back to him to meet his eyes.  She cradled his face in her hands.  

She smoothed her palms over his cheeks and found them as damp as her own.  It's then that she knows there's no way she can go back. 

Her voice is sure and strong as she surrendered, finally. 

"But I'm going to have to - if I want to stop hurting you."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

They've actually made it.  They've gotten through years of keeping their distance, both in miles and in spirit. 

"Thank you."  He whispers as he pulls her closer.

"For what?"

He stops swaying, his hands spanning her waist to keep her still, His eyes catch hers and hold steady.  "Choosing me."

Every day, every minute that she's known him flashes before her eyes.   He sees her answer there but she knows he craves the words.

"C'mon Jim.  Who are we fooling?"  She knows truer words were never spoken.  "We both know the choice was made long before I ever admitted it."

He looks down at her and she can feel it, how very much he loves her.  It washes over her, like a wave of the ocean she can hear in the distance.

And she knows now that it's okay to admit it.  That this day is really the culmination of something that began so many years ago. 

She's grinning widely as he eases away.  "Who knew?"

"What?"  He leans back on the terrace railing, giving her a self satisfied smile.

She doesn't want to say too much.  He'll get too arrogant.  "How you could…kiss." She laughs as she adds. "Among other things.  I'm telling you.  I had been depriving myself for far too long."

He thinks back to the beginning, to the days they pretended to be blind to the truth.

"Well.  Back then, I didn't have a chance to show you."  He shrugs and rolls his eyes a bit.  "We were just friends."

She moves closer, runs a hand over his chest, thrilled to feel his heart pounding under her palm.  "We were never "just friends" Jim."

He nods, winds his arm around her waist to pull her closer.  He's laughing as their lips meet once more.

"Took you long enough to realize it."