The camera panned around the bride’s dressing room to see three bridesmaids rushing around getting hair and makeup done, and finally it rested on Pam in her ivory wedding dress, rollers being taken out of her hair carefully by her mother. She adjusted one of the straps of her v-neck gown and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t keep a smile off her face.
Then her phone began to play a twinkling tune, and so she picked it up and bit her lip as she answered, “I don’t know if it’s okay to even call the bride before you see her—“ Then all the ladies were startled by the tall bodyguard bursting through the door. He stomped over to Pam and immediately snatched up her phone.
“It’s not okay. Especially if you have one of those camera phones…” Dwight began to inspect the phone as he received shouts of protests from both sides of the call.
“Dwight! Give me my phone!” Pam shouted as she tried to reach her cell phone, now being held high above their heads. “What if it’s important?”
“It is important!” they heard Jim yell from the receiver. “Dwight!... Can I at least talk to her through you?” Dwight pondered this for a moment, knowing with these two he couldn’t take any chances. He finally agreed to it and put the phone to his ear to let Jim speak: “Okay. So my brother’s little girl is in the hospital with a high fever, and which means we have no best man.”
“You have no best man,” Dwight relayed the message to Pam, to which a look of confusion and worry appeared on her face.
“We what?”
“The best man’s daughter is sick in the hospital. High fever.”
“Oh my gosh…” Pam turned away at the thought of her soon-to-be niece in a hospital bed. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Is she going to be okay,” Dwight repeated into the phone in a much less concerned tone of voice. He listened for a moment and then told Pam, “His brother’s going to keep him updated. But the problem now is that there’s no best man. Specifically, the best man’s tux is different from the other two, and his other brother and Mark wouldn’t fit into it.”
xxx
On the other end of the phone conversation, Michael was already stripping himself down to his boxers and undershirt, ready to try on the best man’s tux. “Jim, how tall is your brother? Like, 5’ 11’? 5’ 12”…?” Jim glanced at Michael and immediately turned his head away from his practically nude boss, the phone still pressed to his ear.
He covered the receiver and told him, “He’s 6’ 1”. And put your pants back on!” He then said into the phone, “Look. I really would just like to speak to Pam directly. Okay?”
xxx
Dwight glanced in the direction of the obviously upset bride, and then whispered into the phone, “ You know the guidelines. I can only follow orders that Pam gives…” This comment perked her up quite a bit; she hadn’t known this rule, and would’ve taken advantage of it quite a while ago.
She gave the camera a pleased look and then instructed him, “Dwight. Give me the phone.” He stared at her for a moment, unsure of whether to trust her or not, and then she ordered again, “Dwight. Phone… Please.” Dwight’s sense of order and rules, after several moments of inner-struggle, broke him down, and so he sullenly handed the cell phone over to her. She put it to her ear and turned away from the group, “Who would fit into your brother’s tux?”
“Not a lot of people, really…” the camera managed to pick up Jim’s voice on the other end of the line. “Not a lot of people who I’d want—Michael, get out of my brother’s tux!”
xxx
“He’s not gonna use it!” Michael protested as he showed off the best man’s tux to the camera. Although he was only 5’ 10”, Michael filled out the suit surprisingly well. Only the pants needed to be shortened a bit, but the rest of the suit was passable. Jim sighed as he silently wished his brother had more torso than legs on him, and eventually accepted the inevitable.
“Actually, I may have found our replacement best man…” Jim said hesitantly into the phone as he examined the fit of the tux on Michael’s frame a little closer. He shook his head at the camera, wondering how this Cinderella had managed to virtually shrink the glass slipper.
xxx
“Michael??” Pam shrieked into the phone, a horrified expression on her face. “No. Anyone but him… He’ll ruin everything!” She sat down in a chair and placed a hand on her forehead, rubbing her right temple. Dwight, her mother, and her bridesmaids could only look on with dread as Pam continued to plead with her fiancée. “No. We know what he did at Phyllis’ wedding. He—Well what if he loses the rings or something?... Yeah… Do you think you could get him to agree to that?... Okay, I’ll send Dwight over.” Pam shut the phone, still somewhat stunned of what she had just approved. Michael Scott was going to be the best man at her wedding.
“What is it?” Dwight stepped forward, remembering his name being mentioned in conversation.
“You need to go see Jim and Michael,” she told him as she set the phone on the vanity. “You’re a notary, right?” Dwight nodded, and so Pam responded, “They’re drawing up a contract. They need your notarization. Jim says this takes priority.”
“On it!” And without much warning, Dwight was out the door in a flash, leaving the bride and her entourage in total shock.
xxx
“I really don’t feel good about this,” Pam admitted, now sitting in an armchair in the dressing room. “I mean, we made sure to take every precaution so Michael couldn’t get involved… And now he’s going to be in our wedding photos and everything! Like even the ones of just the two of us, he’ll probably be able to find his way into the background…” She paused to ponder this for a moment. “Maybe we can airbrush him out.”
xxx
“Does it look legit?” Michael asked anxiously as Dwight looked over a piece of paper, Jim standing close by.
“It appears so.”
Jim nodded, “Okay, read it back to us—“
xxx
“Oh yeah, I made contracts with everyone,” Jim told the camera as he held up a stack of papers. He flipped through them, “I made one with Kelly not to wear white. I made one with Meredith to only have a maximum of five drinks at the reception. And I was going to wait until today to make one with Michael so he wouldn’t have time to back out of it… but I guess this works too.”
xxx
Dwight cleared his throat and read: “’The party of the first part,’ that’s you, Michael, ‘is to be the best man to the party of the second part,’ which is Jim. Uh, ‘He will follow all directions given to him by the party of the second part, which are as follows: at the ceremony, the party of the first part will be silent at all times. He will remain on his mark to the left of the party of the second part. He will not touch the bride—‘“
“Wait, I can’t touch her under any circumstances?” Michael clarified.
Jim looked at him with skepticism, “What circumstances would require you to touch her?”
“Uhh… Maybe if she fainted…”
“How about,” Jim put his finger to his chin in thought, “You just trust me to catch her?”
“Okay…”
“Okay. Keep reading Dwight.”
“’He will keep the rings in his right front pocket and take them out when the party of the second part asks for them. When the ceremony has ended, the party of the first part will take the hand of the maid of honor and walk down the aisle with her, remaining silent and not making any detours on his route to the back of the church. At the reception—‘“
“There’s rules for the reception too?!” Michael protested.
“Michael, you got kicked out of Phyllis’ reception…” Jim pointed out.
Michael let out a groan and finally said, “Fine. Keep reading.”
Dwight continued: “’At the reception, the party of the first part willnot touch the bride, unless at her discretion. He will keep his best man’s speech to a five-minute maximum, and will only use a maximum of two introductions.” Michael’s jaw dropped, but he decided not to complain about the speech rules and listened to the rest of the regulations. “He will refrain from interfering with any staging of the reception, which includes: serving of food, cutting of cake, organizing of dancing, throwing of bouquets, choosing of music, making of announcements, or any other events herein occurring within the time frame of the reception. The party of the first part will be allowed to be in wedding photos—‘”
“Really Jim?” Michael’s eyes looked misty. Jim nodded reluctantly and Dwight kept reading.
“’But only those he is specified to be a part of. He will not follow the bride and party of the second part into their vehicle after the reception. He will not make any inappropriate jokes or comments. The party of the first part is to also follow any spontaneous rules given by the bride or the party of the second part, and if he does not follow any of these instructions, his best man’s-ship is considered null and void.’” Dwight nodded in approval and told them, “This looks valid.” He pulled out his official notary stamp and provided his seal to the contract.
xxx
“Well, I will admit that I sacrificed a bit in the contract…” Michael hung his head. “But it’s worth it to be a part of the most important day of my life.” He smiled slightly, a triumphant look in his eyes. Then he added, “I mean, until my own wedding.”
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali