Jim opened the door and there stood Pam looking stunning as ever, she was wearing her pink coat and a scarf, her cheeks were pink from the cold and her hair was down and curled just at the ends. She smiled at him and then asked, “You gonna invite me in?” Jim realized he was just standing there staring at her and he snapped to. “Right, come in, please.” Jim said as he stepped aside.
Pam walked into his apartment and pulled off her coat, Jim took it for her and hung it inside the closet. She looked so different, outside of the office and since he came back to Scranton. She was wearing jeans and a black knit sweater that hugged her curves. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all. She made him nervous looking as good as she did, he had some serious stuff going on right now and it was not the time to fall into adoring Pam, especially when she was here in this friend capacity. He didn’t know what to do or where to start so he offered her a drink, he knew he needed one.
“Beer?” she asked. She had a feeling she would need it.
“Sure, I could use one too.” Jim replied as she followed him into the kitchen, he handed her a beer from the refrigerator and they both sat down at the table. Pam looked at him trying to read his face, he took a drink of his beer and then set it down, he picked at the label and stared down at the table top. Pam was really concerned as this was not the Jim she knew, he was worried or something. He obviously needed to talk so she thought she’d start.
“So, what’s up? I mean you seem, quiet maybe…I don’t know.”
“Remember Lisa from today?”
“Of course” Pam thought this was a weird question, considering she met the girl not 9 hours ago.
“She’s having a baby, obviously…she just broke up with her boyfriend.”
“That’s a shame, and scary too.”
“Yeah” Jim was still looking down at the table. He was trying to just get it out, but he was really worried about her reaction. “She said he’s been a real jerk since her dad died a few months back.”
“That’s awful, poor girl, she was so nice in the office today.”
“Yeah she’s always been really cool, her dad raised her on his own, her mom died when she was young. We met in school and she hung around with me and Mark sometimes likes basketball.”
Pam wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he was obviously opening up so she just watched him and listened, trying to figure out where this was going. She’d been worried all day and then he called her come over and talk, he said that he was not okay and she wanted to help him if she could. She was more confused by the minute as he went on about Lisa. Pam realized also that it was a Friday night and Jim’s girlfriend wasn’t here but she was. She just figured she would let him continue on with the story.
“Last time I seen her was at a party for a friend, we hung out and were talking, it was nice, like old times or whatever. We got pretty drunk and she was telling me about her boyfriend, Joe, they were broken up then too.” Jim looked up and noticed Pam watching him and taking in every word. “She came home with Mark, Melissa and me, we were still talking and the party was winding down, we all took a cab to my house. She and I talked some more on the couch. It was late and I was ready for some sleep.” This was now the hard part. He didn’t want to tell Pam about sleeping with someone. They never really talked about that subject, no matter how close they were as friends. Pam was still listening and she was suddenly nervous anticipating the next part of this story, she knew where it was going and did not want to think about it, but Jim clearly had to get this out.
He took in a deep breath and let out a sigh as he exhaled. “We went up to my room so she could crash and I could get a pillow for the couch. Well….we were still pretty drunk, and then…you know, things got out of hand. It was just that once and we were careful so, I hadn’t thought about it much after.” Jim felt a bit embarrassed telling Pam this, but he had to keep going. “She left me a note and then she called me a few weeks later, and said she was back with her boyfriend.”
Now Pam was starting to get confused; she didn’t know why he was telling her this story. Then she realized that maybe her boyfriend found out, she figured she would just ask. “Did her boyfriend find out or something? Is that why you said you’re not okay? Are you in some kind of trouble?”
Jim suddenly looked up at her with tears in his eyes, Pam was taken back to that night 6 months ago and her heart broke all over again, she reached out and held his hand that rested on the table. “Jim, what is it? You’re scaring me. Does he want to hurt you or something?”
Jim was touched by her concern and he knew he should just spit it out.
“No, he’s not an issue. It’s just… the baby, it’s…uh, it’s possibly…mine.” Jim’s voice broke at the end, Pam squeezed his hand as tears started to pour down her face too.
“Oh my god” it was barely a whisper, she was completely shocked. Jim squeezed her hand back and she looked up to see him wiping is face with his free hand.
“I don’t know what to do, I’m so scared Pam, what am I gonna do?” Pam reached out with her other hand and Jim took it, she smiled at him and then nodded, “It’s gonna be ok, Jim.” It broke her heart to think of him having a child with someone else, but she wanted to be supportive, be his friend. She knew what it was like to be so unsure of what would come next, over the last 6 months her life completely changed and it still terrified her. Her kind words were like air to him, he knew she would understand.
“Thanks Pam, you’re still my best friend, you know?” Pam was trying not to cry anymore so she smiled at him through her tears to reassure him.
“You’re my best friend too Jim, you can get through this I know you can. I will help you in anyway I can, ok?” Pam said as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks she started to calm down. Jim couldn’t believe his ears, here was Pam the woman he loved more than anything even now all these months after casino night and his broken heart and she was giving him unconditional support. It made him love her even more. She wiped her tears away and then stood up and walked around the table, Jim stood too. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Jim was surprised by her sudden embrace but he welcomed it and hugged her back.
“Thank you so much Pam, you have no idea what this means to me.” This made Pam smile, she knew he needed her and she felt like this was a chance to make up for some of the pain she knew she caused him back in May. She didn’t really want to bring it up, but she remembered Karen so she pulled back and asked, “What about Karen?”
“Uh, Karen from work?” he didn’t think she knew, or at least he wasn’t sure she knew.
“Yeah, sorry but I um…I figured she was the girl you were seeing.”
Jim wasn’t very surprised that she figured it out though. She did know him well enough. Since it was out there he decided to just let it all out. He nodded and then answered her.
“I told her earlier tonight and we broke up actually, she didn’t want a guy with a baby or something. I’m not surprised though, she doesn’t like Scranton. Plus it wasn’t serious and it wouldn’t have lasted we only went out a few times for drinks or whatever.” He was surprised at how easily this was all coming out of him now; to Pam no less. He came back to Scranton with a wall up so he wouldn’t get close to her, but now he knew there was no point, he could never shut out Pam. He needed to break the tension though, so he finished his Karen explanation the best way he knew how.
“She was so unfair about it, just assumed I’m some man hussy with like all these illegitimate kids out there.” he shrugged for affect.
Pam laughed slightly at his joke as she pulled back from the hug. “That sucks but don’t worry ok? I’ll still be your friend, even if you are a man hussy. Plus we both know, Dwight can’t get pregnant so no other kids could be floating around out there.”
“Thanks Pam, really!” he replied with a laugh and some sarcasm. “I mean you know I’d do Kevin, not Dwight, get it straight.” Pam laughed as she made her way into his living room and sat on the couch, he followed her. This was good, joking was good and it made him feel a lot better. They talked for another hour or so, he told her about waiting for the test results but also how he knew Lisa wouldn’t lie to him like that so he was already pretty sure he would be a father soon. Pam told him again how she would help him through this. She was secretly glad that Karen and he were over, but she knew that he needed a friend now more than anything. She decided when the time was right she would let him know how she felt. Pam left at nearly midnight. She had an art fair she wanted to go to in the morning, she invited Jim along and he was looking forward to it. She had him at ease by the time she left, and she told him not to worry too much because it would do him no good.
The next morning Pam picked Jim up around 9:30, they were both yawning when he got in the car and said hello. They went to a diner on the way and had breakfast. Pam went for French toast and Jim had pancakes. After breakfast they made their way to the fair, it was being held at the main campus of Scranton University. They walked through the aisles and Pam picked up some supplies at a good discount. She also picked up a small print of the Eiffel Tower. It was a gift for her mom’s upcoming birthday. They were at the fair for at least 2 hours. Jim was glad for the distractions and Pam.
They walked around the campus for about an hour after leaving the fair and packing her finds in the car. They decided to go for some lunch at a nearby deli. During lunch they kept the conversation light, Pam told Jim about all the craziness he missed out in the last 6 months and he told her about Andy’s jell-o calculator and the whole “Tuna” thing. It felt like old times to both of them, and they were really enjoying it. After lunch Pam dropped Jim off at then made her own way home. She was worried for Jim and the things that were ahead of him, especially the next few days when he wouldn’t know with absolute certainty; he told her that was the hardest part.
Over the next few days Jim tried to stay calm and figure out a plan. On Wednesday he got a call from Lisa at 1:00 on his cell phone. It was confirmed, he was the father. Jim told her they should meet up that night. Pam heard him make plans with Lisa, and she knew what that meant. She was glad she finally knew for sure, but she didn’t know what to do with her feelings. She was glad the wait was over, but she was scared too. The last few days had been great, she and Jim had dinner on Monday night and the day they spent together on Saturday just showed her more and more about why she wanted to be with him. Now knowing that he was going to be a father she thought he may not have time for a relationship, so she would have to keep her feelings hidden for now. He had enough to deal with, plus she wasn’t sure he still loved her. She knew he cared and needed her friendship though, so she could do that.
Jim got up and headed to the stairwell after the phone call. He sat down on the landing, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He was going to be a father and it was the scariest thing he could imagine. He always thought he’d be older, and married before he had children, he wasn’t even dating Lisa. He knew some things about babies, he’d changed his nephews diaper a few times and it wasn’t a total disaster, but this would be HIS child. He remembered that Lisa said it was a boy. He was going to have a son, in just a few weeks, unbelievable. He heard the door open and knew it was Pam coming to check on him. She didn’t say anything. She just sat down next to him quietly. She didn’t know what to say, but she wanted to be there.
“Hey” he said as he opened his eyes and looked over at her.
“Hey” she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “So?” she prodded.
“It’s official, she just found out from the doctor’s office. They’ll probably call me too.” Pam nodded as she listened to her best friend acknowledge out loud that he’d soon have a child.
“Are you alright? Because we can go mess with Dwight if you need to feel better.” Pam smiled as he smiled at her.
“Not today, but thanks. I think the past few days have helped absorb some of the shock. Lisa’s coming over tonight so we can talk about some stuff. I need to talk to my parents too.”
“Want me to cover for you so you can slip out early, I’ll create a diversion.”
“What kind?” Jim was curious and smiling.
“I can ask Andy and Michael to sing for me, Andy’s got that nifty banjo all the time, trying to sing to me thanks to you.”
“Sorry about that…” He grinned at her, “and thanks, but that shouldn’t be necessary.” She could always make him feel better.
“If you say so, I would endure it for you though, just so you know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He told her as she stood up.
“Don’t stay out here too long, don’t want you to catch cold” Pam said as she went back up to the office. Jim returned about 10 minutes later. He called his parents and invited them to dinner at his place for tomorrow. He stayed for the rest of the day and at 5:00 he said goodbye to Pam as he headed out the door.
Jim went home, changed and waited for Lisa. She got to his house at 6:00 and they ordered some Chinese. They talked about what they would do, Jim was thinking about it all day. After 3 hours they settled on her moving into Jim’s apartment, he had a spare bedroom and a 1 year lease, plus he could help her with the baby. He wanted to be in his child’s life. They agreed that they could be friends that happened to have a baby together, and would just take things as they came. It was scary but at least they weren’t alone. Lisa had been staying in a month to month rental so she could move whenever really, her rent was paid through the end of November only, so Jim told her she could move in that weekend.
He also told Lisa that he was having his parents over the next night, and he explained that maybe it was too early to meet them. He knew they were having a baby together, but he thought he should tell them first and feel out their reaction. After all this was a baby that resulted from a one night stand and was due only about a month away. They didn’t have much time to get used to the idea. He knew his parents might be upset and confused; sure they were cool and not uptight at all but they were a bit traditional. A baby out of wedlock and they weren’t even together, they may have issues with that.
Lisa left around 10:00 saying she’d see him Saturday. Jim called Pam to tell her what they worked out. She was glad he was taking this all so well. She told Jim he’d be a great father and she really meant it, he was great with the kids that day months ago during that daughters day. Jim was really glad that she told him that, but he was still scared. The next day at work Jim and Pam went to lunch and they talked about the weekend moving plans. Pam offered to help but Jim explained that Lisa wasn’t bringing much, it wasn’t a permanent move. She had been living in a furnished rental unit and most of her things were in storage since she left Joe. She would live with Jim until they were both comfortable with the baby and being alone with the baby. Then she was getting her own place. The only thing she really needed was her bed and dresser and she had a crib and a few other baby things.
Dinner with his parents was nerve wracking at first, he told them about the baby and they were surprised but said that they were proud of how he was handling things. His mom started talking about baby toys, car seats and outfits by the end of the evening. He was relieved, despite the awkwardness of the sudden life change that came upon him, Jim felt lucky. His parents were being supportive and Pam was being amazing and then there was Lisa, who seemed to be doing ok with this too. It wasn’t the end of the world. At work Karen had worked out a transfer and she was leaving on Friday. Jim was glad about that after the way she reacted to him, he supposed he couldn’t blame her, but she was so cold about it, he wasn’t sure why he wanted to date her to begin with, other than a shield from Pam. But things with Pam were good at the moment.
Author's Chapter Notes:
this is a bit angsty, I love the angst.
Chapter End Notes:
hope it's not too bad...looking forward to the next chapter.
