Jim heard the doorbell just after Pam left and he thought maybe she came back for one last kiss; he swung the door open, only to reveal his brother Jonathan and his sister-in-law, Gina. He felt guilty for his small disappointment that it wasn’t her. His younger sister Liz was there within minutes of his brother. Once everyone was done with the hugs and the condolences, they all sat around taking turns holding the baby and making a fuss.
“So…how’re you doing?” Gina asked with a hand on his arm.
“Okay... I’m kind freaked out a bit or, in shock?...I don’t know, but I feel okay, just a bit…it’s hard to believe.”
He changed the subject to the football game that was coming on soon, understanding; she nodded sympathetically and then they all tried to keep the conversation light for a while. The baby was more the topic of the room for some time, at one point he took a nap and they all chatted about nonsense and Christmas plans. When the baby was awake again they were fussing over him some more, Jim didn’t mind, he was crazy about his new son and apparently so was everyone else. Suddenly his younger sister started with the “real talk”.
“You know Jim, maybe I can stay here with you for a while, until you get used to things. With the baby, you know… I’ve got a month off, and I don’t mind, really.”
Jim looked at his younger sister a little surprised, she was a college girl that loved to party.
“Look, I’m trying really hard, and I think so far I’m doing okay. I…uh…I’ll think about it.”
“Jim, what’s there to think about, mom and dad aren’t that close and neither are we, it took me 35 minutes to get here…what if something happens? You’re all alone with a new baby, and you have a job… what will you do with Nate?
“Liz, just let up.” Jonathan cut in.
“What? I mean, I’m just his aunt but, better than nothing, babies need a mother.” Liz was never one for tact.
“Liz!” Jonathan looked scandalized at his sister’s words.
Jim was getting more uncomfortable by the minute and now he looked either really angry or sad it was hard to tell. Gina felt bad, so she interrupted, it was getting close to dinner anyway.
“Hey Lizzy, let’s go to the store and get some food, we can make dinner, okay?”
“Okay, I guess.” She handed the baby over to Jim and followed Gina to the door.
“Need anything for the baby Jim?” Gina asked as she grabbed her keys.
He just shook his head while looking down at his son with a sad smile on his face thinking of his sister’s words. He knew Nate should have a mother, but he couldn’t help that right now. The alone part really stung though, because he truly was scared of that the most. Everything was so uncertain and scary, but he wanted to do this, become a good father. Then he’d remember what Pam told him, “We’re in this together.” Thinking of her and the words he knew she meant, he relaxed somewhat. He was really glad Jonathan was there, they hadn’t really talked in a while.
“I’m not alone you know…I have Pam.”
Jonathan’s ears perked up at the mention of Pam, he knew all about Jim’s feelings and the 6 months after casino night. What he didn’t know, was that she was now Jim’s very supportive and understanding new girlfriend. With all that had been going on, Jim and he hadn’t really caught up much.
“Pam? Like…the Pam?” Jonathan asked, slightly confused.
“Yeah” Jim didn’t even try to hide the smile and now Jonathan was really confused.
“Wait, I thought you were with that Karen girl, and you weren’t really talking to Pam too much.” Looking down Jim realized that Nate had fallen back to sleep.
“Hang on man, the baby’s asleep” Jim went and put him in his cradle. He continued on when he got back to the living room.
“Things change Jon….we’ve been talking and hanging out a lot lately, and we’re…well, we’re like, dating now.”
“What?... She does know you’ve just had a baby with someone else right?” Jim sighed, not wanting to really go too deep into all of this, he hadn’t thought about it too much himself honestly, there was just so much going on, he didn’t have time to think about it.
“Look….she knows everything, I told her before I even told mom and dad. She’s been amazing with all of this.”
“And she didn’t break up with you when you said you had a baby on the way?”
Jim was getting annoyed, but he figured talking about Pam was better than inwardly dwelling on how fucked up everything else was right now. He let out another sigh and started to tell the whole story.
“Okay, I was with Karen…kind of; we just had a few dates though. When I found out about the baby, Karen dumped me, no support at all.”
“Ouch, that kind of sucks.”
“It was fine, whatever, but I was freaked out at the time, you know I could have used the help or support. Karen was really cool at first. But I wasn’t surprised she wanted to break up. Anyway, Pam’s been my best friend for years now, that night Karen and I broke up or whatever… I called her up and she was so great, she came over and we talked and said she’d be here for me.”
“That’s cool, considering you had barely been speaking, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, after May… well, you know…I thought she just didn’t care as much.”
“And the dating?”
“Right, well, we started hanging out a lot after I told her; she really helped keep me from climbing the walls, saying the right thing and just trying to keep things normal. She just, she’s always been a great friend; I don’t know why I was so surprised. Pam was even like, kind of friends with Lisa, like almost immediately; and then, she and Lisa were talking the day she moved in here about stuff, I don’t know. Lisa realized Pam seemed interested and told me. I wasn’t totally sure, I mean, she was flirty sometimes, but not overly flirty… Lisa told me to go for it; so I asked Pam to dinner and we’ve gone out a few times since then. It’s been great really.”
“That’s awesome, what about the baby though? Pam’s okay with everything, even now, with Lisa gone? It really kind of changes things doesn’t it?”
“Like I said man, Pam is amazing; she went to the hospital with Lisa when she was in labor, stayed there with me after…. the whole time I was there she was too. Since the hospital, she’s been here with me and Nate. She only went home for a few hours yesterday and then just left before you guys got here, thought I’d like some time with you all.”
“Wow that’s really cool, that she’d just like be here for all that.”
“I know, I mean…that’s just who Pam is, she said we’d do this together. She wants to be here, I mean…it’s only been a few weeks, and we’re taking it slow…but it’s good and like I said, she is just…really great. I just hope it all works out”
“Well man, me too, good for you.”
“I don’t know what exactly will happen now…like, you’re right, it is a different situation with Lisa gone. And Liz is right, I mean, eventually he will need a mother, I hope Pam doesn’t think I expect that from her so early on and like decide she can’t do it.”
“Yeah well, have you talked to her about it?” Jim looked at his brother like he had two noses.
“Oh yeah, hey Pam I know we haven’t even had sex but would you mother my child? That one would go over well.”
“You haven’t? I thought you said she stayed over.”
“We just slept, it was nice, but no sex…I’m not really worried about that right now anyway, you know?”
“Good point…well, for the record you seem to be taking all of this really well.” Jim nodded thinking if he should say what he wanted to, then he realized that John wouldn’t judge him too harshly, if at all.
“I kind of guilty actually, I’m sad about Lisa dying but I think I’m more upset about being a father on my own now, or scared…I don’t know, I’m horrible right?”
“No, you’re not horrible Jim, obviously you cared about her, she was your friend but…life goes on man, and you’re right, and you being a father now is the most important thing, Lisa isn’t coming back so…”
“Yeah” he sighed, his brother was right, it still didn’t make things any easier though.
“Man we’re all after school special over here.” That put a slight smile on Jim’s face. There were still so many things running through his mind.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a short time until Nate cried out from the bedroom, Jim took care of him, he just needed a diaper change, then he quickly fell back to sleep. Jon put on the Eagles game and the brothers watched the kick off, somewhat happy or maybe just relieved for the distraction, Jim really kind of felt numb, so many thoughts at once going through his mind; he couldn’t concentrate on one so he kind of ignored them all.
When the girls got back they made spaghetti and chicken parmesan for dinner. The baby woke up again so Jim made a bottle and fed him while the others were still eating. Gina finished her food and offered to take over, Jim declined though, reminding her that he had to get used to things anyhow. He finished his dinner after the baby was done his bottle. His spaghetti just needed to go in the microwave for a minute.
Before leaving, Liz had convinced him that she’d be a great babysitter once he went back to work and also she would watch Nate for the funeral on Tuesday. She hadn’t met Lisa so she wouldn’t really need to be there, and Jim felt it would be best, not bring an infant to a funeral. He was glad he could count on his family for support; even if he was somewhat reluctant to take much help. He just felt that he had to be a man, and take care of his son without everybody butting in.
Once the three left, Nate was awake again; Jim changed him and was feeding him on the couch, with the post game show on TV at low volume. While burping him, Nate spit up, and needed a change of pajamas. When he was changing him, Jim realized he hadn’t bathed him yet, he knew the baby didn’t need a bath everyday according to the nurses, but he hadn’t had one since the first night in the hospital.
“Shouldn’t be too hard” he thought to himself.
Jim set him in his cradle with a pacifier and went into Lisa’s room, now just Nate’s room he sadly remembered. He paused in his search for a minute and felt sad looking to where Lisa had a baby book on her night table and her robe was lying across the top of the bed. Jim realized he would have to go through her things and figure out what to keep for their son and what to give away.
He snapped back to it and started looking for the baby shampoo and soap. He spotted what he had been looking for, there was a basket on the changing table with a small rubber ducky peeking out over the top he pulled it back, and there were wash cloths, lotion, powder, shampoo, and baby bath. He didn’t have this many bath products.
The towels were folded in a nice pile next to that, he grabbed a towel and threw it over his shoulder; he grabbed the basket and walked into the bathroom. Looking down, he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to bath the baby in that big tub. Then he remembered Hannah from Stamford showing him that picture of her husband in the tub with her baby for his first bath. That’s when he realized that he’d never actually bathed an infant before, or any child for that matter. He felt a slight panic and then chided himself, Get a grip Jim, you have to do it so, suck it up.
Jim shook his head to try and clear his mind, as if that would work. Then he remembered that some people bath infants in the sink, his mom had plenty of pictures of him as a newborn in the kitchen sink. The kitchen sink was empty, but looking at it, he didn’t feel comfortable. He set the basket down and went down the hall; Nate was just looking up sucking on his pacifier without a care in the world.
“Hey there little man doing okay?…Your dad here isn’t doing so great, I’m trying to figure out how to give you a bath.” The baby made a face at him.
“I know…I guess I should probably get some advice huh?” Jim went to grab his phone, not sure yet who he should call at first. He could do this, he could bath his son, he just needed some advice, helpful tips. He thought about calling his mom, but he didn’t want to call for help like he was a kid, he was the parent now. He was also afraid she would insist on moving in with him until he knew everything he needed to know. He definitely didn’t need that.
After not much internal debate, he decided to call Pam; she would know what to do and wouldn’t get all dramatic on him. And bonus, he could tell her that he was scared without worry. She would say “I know” or something brilliant and just help him through it, maybe even make a joke to relax him and let him know it was okay to feel that way.
Pam wanted to turn around and go back to Jim’s at least 4 times in the fifteen minutes it took her to get home. She already missed the both of them; and she knew she was in trouble. If she had a hard time falling asleep on the couch in the same apartment as the two of them, now being at home without them near what would she do? She had been around Jim so much in the last few weeks, she was really getting used to it, and now with the baby too, she just wanted to be near them, take care of them. She actually couldn’t stop thinking about the two of them, Jim, so scared, but trying his best to be a good father. And Nate, the little baby had already captured her heart, much like his father. This might be harder than she thought.
When she finally got home she realized that her mail was piled up inside on the table and her hamper was overflowing slightly, she sighed and got started, actually thankful for the distraction. She ran her dishwasher, finished her laundry and even finished an assignment for class before she started thinking about them again. That’s when she went to the grocery store to pick up her items for lunch for the week.
When she was grabbing dish detergent she noticed the second half of the aisle had baby items. She glanced around at everything and her eyes rested on a little pirate rubber duck that tested the water temperature, she thought that was really clever and just grabbed it without pause. She wasn’t sure if he already had one or not, but it couldn’t hurt either way right?
While she was in line to pay for her items she overheard the two girls in front of her talking, “I mean it’s just so sad and he seriously needs help with that baby. I don’t know why he would have to think about me helping him.”
“Look, he just probably wants to figure things out on his own or something, this is all new to him. And he’s an independent kind of guy.”
“I get that but, I think he should have someone there, a woman for the baby at least...he does need a mother. I guess I’m just worried about him is all; living his regular life not two months ago, and now this.”
Pam felt uncomfortable; she was almost ninety five percent positive that they were talking about Jim, this must be his sister and sister in law she thought.
“Look Liz…just talk to him about it later and see what he says, he’s not an idiot, if he needs help, he’ll ask. Be a little nicer, you know… keep that foot out of your mouth.”
“I was just stating the truth…maybe I’ll call mom, she can tell him to let me stay and help him.”
“Just talk to him first, he’s a grown up now…you can’t tattle on him for wanting to try and be a father without your help.”
“It wouldn’t be tattling.”
“Oh no?”
“No”
“Look Liz; we’ll help Jim if he needs it. Okay? You know he’ll ask if he does.”
Yep, definitely talking about Jim
“I guess, but I will be the babysitter at least, until he can find like a nanny or something or I go back to class.”
“That would be nice.”
They had finished the conversation and were bagging their items, Pam noticed the one named Liz turned toward her to grab a magazine; she started glancing around and looking at the candy so they hopefully wouldn’t notice she was listening to their conversation.
Pam was back to thinking about Jim and Nate, knowing that Liz was right, babies do need a mother, could she be a mother? Would Jim want her to be Nate’s? Is that what he wanted? Now that was all she could think about. She also couldn’t help but notice that Jim seemed reluctant for their help, but with Pam he barely protested, he let her help, she smiled at that.
When she got home from the store she called her mom, put away her groceries, had dinner and packed her lunch for work the next day. Finally having run out of things to occupy herself from her brain she needed to just unwind.
Pam took a bath to relax, when she was done, she straightened her hair. It would be easier now than in the morning, she’s sure that she’ll have problems falling asleep tonight so the extra time in the morning will be a good thing. She would only have to work with the curling iron before going to the office.
After her hair was done, and she was cozy in her pajamas, she curled up on the couch with some hot tea and a Simpsons episode. Her phone rang not much later,
“Hello?”
“Uh...hey, it’s me.”
“Hi” Jim could hear the smile in her voice. “Everything okay over there?”
“Yeah…kind of…um…Question”
“Oh, a Dwight approach… what facts do you need?” she was glad he called.
“I am terrified of the bath.”
“So that’s what that smell was…and not really a question.”
He actually laughed out loud. “Um no you’re right, but actually that smell was your feet.”
“Please, my feet smell good, I actually just took a bath. So I’m an expert right now.”
Jim had a mental image now in his head that surprised him, earlier he’d told his brother he wasn’t worried about sex, but he suddenly was, or at least a naked Pam in the bath. He had to shake that out of his head, this was not the time.
“Well, then you are exactly who I needed to call. I am terrified to bath my son, which is what I meant to say.”
“Oh, do you want me to come over?”
“No, that’s okay, just…I’m kind of scared and needed some advice, the bath tub is too big and cold, the kitchen sink just...I don’t like it, he’s not a Turkey you know?...I don’t wanna wash him in there. And then how do I know the waters not too hot or cold…I just…”
Pam chuckled at the image of a turkey in a sink with that rubber duck she bought and some baby shampoo. “I’m coming over…I actually bought Nate a little something for the bathtub, and I think it’ll come in handy.”
“But, you have work and all, I don’t want-”
“Ten minutes, I just have to put on a sweatshirt and some sneakers, I’m in my jammies.”
“Pam I-”
“See ya in ten.” With that she hung up, she put on a sweatshirt over her tank top and slid into her sneakers, grabbed the duck from the table and slipped on her coat. She was out the door in less than a minute and on the way to Jim’s. He looked so relieved when he answered the door holding Nate in his arms and rocking him gently.
“Come on, it’s cold out there.”
She was bundled up and bouncing on her toes, her hood covering half her face.
“My heat didn’t even warm up until I was around the corner, I’m freezing.”
“I told you that you didn’t have to come over.”
“And miss my new best bud’s first bath, come on! Look what I brought him.” She pulled out the duck and explained how the hot and cold sticker works.
“That’s awesome…so how do we do this anyway?”
Pam remembered that Lisa mentioned buying a baby bathtub. She pulled back her hood and Jim noticed her hair was straight, but most of it was stuck in the shirt. She took her coat off and headed into the baby’s room, pulling her hair out of her shirt as she walked through the doorway.
“Well, I’m sure there‘s a baby bath tub around here somewhere.”
“Oh, um…I didn’t see one.” He honestly didn’t think about that, a baby tub…
Jim was following her with the baby, now mesmerized by how long and sleek her hair was when it was straight. He loved her curls but this was kind of sexy. There he goes again; he shook his head at himself. Stop it He walked back to the living room to try and get a grip.
“Okay, I’ll check in here.” She didn’t notice his inner turmoil.
Pam searched through the baby items in Lisa’s room and didn’t find it, and then she looked in the closet, bingo. She brought it out to the kitchen.
“Here we go, found it in the closet”
“I’m sorry”
“Stop! No more sorry’s or thank you’s. Those are the rules Halpert. And there’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“Alright…So where should we bath him?”
“Right here on the table, he might not be a turkey, but it’s better than the tiny bathroom, not big enough for 2 and the baby.”
Pam pulled her sleeves back, and filled the tub with about three inches of warm water she tested it with her hands but they tested it with the duck too. Jim thought that was so cool. She laid out the large bath sponge and undressed Nate on there, once she had his diaper off she lowered him into the tub. She held his head above the water and instructed Jim on how to help. He gave her a wash cloth with some soap on it and she started with his belly being careful of his chord, his chest area, she quickly moved on to his arms and legs, under his chin. Jim was amazed at how well she was doing, like she’d done this a hundred times.
“How do you know what to do?”
“Watched my sister” The baby was starting to squirm a bit, “Almost done big guy.”
She spoke to him in a way that seemed to calm Jim, like he was the baby. “Jim, get some shampoo, and a cup.” He grabbed the items and proceeded to rinse the baby’s hair using the cup, he rubbed some shampoo into his hair with Pam’s guidance and then he rinsed his hair. Nate had started to cry as he was rinsing his hair. Once he finished the rinsing, the baby stopped crying.
Pam was now rinsing the soap from his body when Jim realized he should take a picture of his son’s first bath. He ran for his camera, when he got back into the kitchen he snapped a few pictures, Pam was laughing, in the last one, “He peed on me!”
Jim started laughing too. He grabbed the towel and Pam handed the baby over to him and helped wrap the towel around him. She pulled off her sweatshirt revealing a simple tank top paired with her flannel pants. Her straight hair falling on her shoulders, she looked like an angel. Come on!
He walked into the bedroom with the small bundle as Pam followed him still laughing. She brought in the camera and snapped a few pictures of Jim putting on lotion and powder, then dressing him.
“At least he doesn’t need this every night, with the winter and already sensitive skin.”
“True and I don’t think I need a nightly golden shower like you got.”
“I can’t believe he peed on me!” She was shaking her head.
“He really likes you Pam, what can I say.”
Once he was fully dressed Pam wrapped him in a blanket and held him while Jim went and made a bottle, Nate looked very content. She slipped out of her sneakers and sat on the couch. She fed Nate until he fell asleep, he burped for her on the last try and she took him to his cradle. Jim followed her into his room and grabbed a sweatshirt out of his closet for her while she settled Nate in for the night. She looked down at him with a smile on her lips and love in her eyes.
Jim really loved seeing her with Nate, she really looked like she loved him and was happy to be there. He realized that maybe they would be fine dating and her helping him with the baby. She clearly cared for him.
Pam was so happy when he called and now here she was putting Nate to bed a second night in a row, and even though this wasn’t her son, she loved him.
She walked back into the living room with Jim. It was almost ten and she had work the next morning, he gave her the sweatshirt.
“Here, it’s too cold out, I’ll wash yours, just leave it.”
“Thanks” she took the shirt but didn’t put it on yet; she didn’t feel cold at the moment.
“I thought there were no ‘thanks’ Beesly.”
“You can’t say it. I can.”
“Ah ha…” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, tilting her face up to look at him.
“I’m glad you called”
“Me too” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her, his hands on her neck, then he pushed them back into her hair. Pam loved the feeling and she sighed into the kiss. Jim pulled back and looked in her eyes.
“You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Thanks” she said it with a smile on her face and then she kissed him.
“So wait… if I say thanks there’s no more kissing, but if you say it?”
“Then there is kissing.”
“Right… well, I like your, jammies.” he was grinning deliciously at her, his hands now rubbing her bare shoulders. She knew he’d tease her for that word.
“Thanks” she smiled and he leaned down to kiss her again.
“And your socks” he mumbled against her lips.
“Thanks” Kiss
“And your hair”
“Thanks” Kiss
Jim’s watch beeped not long after, it was ten o’clock now, and she had to be up in 9 hours. Sure she would rather stay here with Jim, but after knowing that he and the baby were okay for now, she thought she’d probably be able to get some sleep. She kissed him one more time and then headed out.
It only took her ten minutes to get home, she sent Jim a text to say goodnight again. She was actually able to fall asleep, she was very tired, and it was a long day. She did miss Jim and Nate, but she was just there and she would see them again tomorrow after work, plus she was still wearing Jim’s sweatshirt, which smelled just like him. His smell surrounding her really helped.
Jim was able to fall asleep but it took him a while, he wished she was here in bed with him, he definitely felt better when she was there. He got her text that she was safe at home and he would see her tomorrow. He was glad that she came over, even though he protested at first, she actually put him at ease, again. Despite all the things he still had to face, she was there. He thought about her some more as he used the pillow she had used the night before, it smelled like her. He breathed in Pam and listened to the soft sound of his son’s breathing as he finally drifted off for the night.
Author's Chapter Notes:
It's been a while, sorry for those of you who are enjoying this story. Hope you like this chapter. I revised it like 4 times, but I am liking it.
And of course, I own nothing.
And of course, I own nothing.
Chapter End Notes:
Hope the end there wasn't too cheesy. Gotta have some fluff.
iwantphillyjim is the author of 4 other stories.
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