iv. Touch
The parking lot is clearing out fast and Angela is suddenly grateful that she isn’t in charge of cleaning all this up. A glimmer of satisfying triumph over Phyllis teases her heart. Andy’s parents have left for the hotel, promising to see them tomorrow at dinner and to hear all about Angela, about whom Andy apparently speaks of constantly. Angela realizes she has mentioned Andy to her parents only a handful of times and feels slightly guilty.
She is putting a pile of dirty napkins in an overflowing garbage can when she hears Andy speak excitedly behind her.
“Dwight! Where have you been? Can you believe it? I’m an engaged man!” Angela turns slowly, wishing more than anything that this moment isn’t actually happening. But there’s Andy, beaming and pumping Dwight’s hand in an enthusiastic handshake. Dwight isn’t looking at Andy. He is staring at Angela with an expression she has to look away from instantly. To Andy, he probably looks like the same, emotionless Dwight everyone is used to seeing on a daily basis. To Angela, he looks absolutely destroyed.
Andy follows Dwight’s gaze and positively glows at Angela. He motions for her to join them across the parking lot, amongst the trash and the broken-down tables. She walks slowly, prolonging the inevitable, and scowls at the horrible Vance Refrigeration delivery men currently tackling one another in the moon bounce. Finally, she reaches Andy’s side and he puts his arm around her instantly.
“Dwight, allow me to introduce you to the future Mrs. Andrew Bernard,” he says, squeezing Angela ever so slightly with heartbreaking obliviousness. Angela forces herself to look up into Dwight’s face and, for the first time this evening, she feels a lump in her throat.
The corners of his mouth are down-turned, despite his clear efforts to get them to lift. His eyes look empty and hollow. He’s white as a sheet. But, somehow, he smiles a strange smile at her and sticks his hand out towards her.
“It’s nice to make your acquaintance,” he says. His voice is thick with something she can’t imagine to be tears. She has seen Dwight Schrute do a great many things but she has never seen him cry. She lifts the hand hanging limply at her side and grasps his for the offered handshake.
It is the first time they have touched in months. He squeezes her hand gently as he shakes it. He has a good handshake. A salesman’s handshake. For some odd reason, this thought makes her terribly and inexplicably sad. He stares down at her, clenching his jaw, and she can see now that his eyes are shining with tears. She thinks of Pam earlier and drops his hand quickly. She bows her head and nearly shakes with relief when Andy pulls his arm off of her shoulders.
“We have to get going soon. Busy day tomorrow!” Andy says in a silly voice she doesn’t understand. She continues to stare harshly at the ground, willing herself not to cry until she is away from all of this. God should be the only witness to your tears. She imagines that Dwight is nodding, hardening his face, shaking Andy’s hand in congratulations. She glances up to see that he is doing just that. He catches her eye a final time.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world,” he says, still shaking Andy’s hand. And with that, the moment unravels and is gone. He is pulling his hand away from Andy and saying he needs to finish something up in the office. He is walking away from them and not looking back as Andy gathers a plate of leftover ribs and leads her towards his car, parked neatly beside hers.
“Are you going to come over to my place tonight?” he asks her. There is no leering suggestion in the remark and she feels like a horrible, horrible person. She shakes her head.
“I have to feed my cats,” she reminds him.
“Oh. Right. Well, when will I see you tomorrow?” he asks, opening the driver side door and leaning partially into his car to deposit the ribs on the passenger seat.
“I’ll call you tomorrow morning. At 10?” she suggests. He agrees instantly and leans down to press a soft kiss to her cheek. She lets him. He looks at her for several long seconds before climbing into his car. He lets the door hang open as he stares up at her with a simple smile sitting on his face.
“I’m really happy, Angela,” he says. Her hand flies up to clutch at her crucifix as he closes the door, starts his car and pulls away from her, waving happily before he disappears into the night.
She stands there for what feels like a very long time. She leans against her own car and watches as Phyllis and a few others struggle with the beginnings of a nightmare of a cleanup. She looks down at her hand and examines the ring now perched on a finger that had lain bare for so long. She is an engaged woman. She is going to marry Andy Bernard.
It doesn’t feel real. How has she gone from a ride in a Ferris wheel to this? How has she gone from an ABBA song to this? This entire year doesn’t feel real. She has been going through the motions as if she were in some sort of play. Her anger and sadness and disappointment after the death of Sprinkles has dissipated at some point and she just became Andy’s girlfriend and Dwight’s co-worker and everyone always acts like that’s how it’s always been.
But they don’t know the whole story. Only she and Dwight know every detail. It is odd to think about the years they had spent in secret. He hadn’t cared if the office knew. She had begged him to keep it private. She wanted to protect it; protect them. And they had. No matter how it had ended, she can look back on their time together as some sort of wonderful secret. Every aspect of her relationship with Dwight felt real. They had laughed and loved and fought and made love and done everything that couples do and they had done it in their own special way. It hadn’t been perfect, but it had been close enough to look like perfect if you didn’t stare for too long.
She sighs and looks up at the night sky. God, please help me find the answer, she finds herself praying. But as she looks back down at the pretty ring on her finger she realizes she already has the answer. She pulls the ring off her finger, flexing the newly naked digit, and puts the ring in her purse. She feels truly awful for Andy, knowing that she is going to hurt him. He is, despite the many mistakes he has made, a good man. But she knows it would be even worse to go through with a lie of a marriage.
She turns towards the office building, takes a deep breath, and starts walking.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali