INT – Office.
Jim walks in from outside.
NATALIE
Hey. While you were at lunch, David Wallace called again. He wants you to gather everything you have on Phil Maguire’s account for his meeting with you today.
JIM
Ok.
NATALIE
Hey. Are you okay?
JIM
Yeah.
NATALIE
Is David Wallace coming to visit you a bad thing? Is he going to make you bend over your desk and spank you with a ruler?
JIM
No. At least I don’t think so.
NATALIE (smiles)
Ok.
Jim walks over to his desk and sees that his desktop wallpaper has been changed to support the Pittsburgh Steelers. He looks over at Natalie who’s just smiling at him.
JIM
How dare you.
He settles in at his desk as Natalie stares at him, admiringly.
Creed walks by Dwight’s desk, eating out of a plastic container, and hands him a paper bag.
DWIGHT
What are you giving me? What is this?
CREED
Stool sample.
DWIGHT
What?
CREED
I believe you sent an electronic mail about it Should be a nice, hefty load for you to analyze in there. Had a bowl of barbequed pork beans for breakfast. Gotta eat a lot of fiber to make the stool soft.
Creed walks away.
DWIGHT
Are you eating my beet salad?
INT – Break room.
Andy is sitting at one of the tables as Jim walks in to get a bottle of water.
JIM
Andy.
ANDY
Tuna.
JIM
I know I’m going to regret this, but… you don’t seem too happy today, Andy.
ANDY
Yeah, well blame it on the funsucker. Sucking all the fun out of my rockin' nupital plans.
JIM
Who’s that?
ANDY
That would be the future Mrs. Andrew Bernard-to-be.
JIM
Ah.
ANDY
I was gonna have a Here Comes Trebel reunion. We were going to bring down the chruch, the steeple, and rock all of the people. As Angela was walking down the aisle, instead of “Here Comes the Bride”, I was going to have them sing, “She’s A Lady”. Tom Jones. And after we’re married, for the processional, a little Marvin Gaye. “Let’s Get It On”.
JIM
Wow. And she said no to that?
ANDY
I know, right? And I have so many more awesome ideas.
JIM
Well, I don’t have much experience when it comes to planning weddings. At least… not yet, anyway. But I know that the important thing is to make sure Angela’s happy. I mean, it’s a pretty important day for her. And I know Angela likes to have things a certain way, but just go with it, man. You love her, right? That’s all that matters.
ANDY
Right, right. Well maybe we can compromise, you know? Maybe she’ll at least give me one song during the ceremony.
JIM
Yeah. Compromise. Good.
ANDY
But if I only get one song, that means I have to make it count. I’m gonna have to sort through the trusty ,old records in the attic, give a couple a spin, see what I can find. Wow. Thanks, Tuna.
JIM
Good luck, Andy.
INT – Reception
Kevin is talking to Natalie.
KEVIN
So. Do you have any big plans for the weekend?
NATALIE
Um, no not really. I just moved here, so... I don't really have any friends around here.
Jim turns to listen to their conversation.
KEVIN
Oh. That must really suck.
NATALIE (smiles)
Not really. I have my dog, so.
KEVIN
That's really, really sad.
NATALIE
Wow. Thank you, Kevin. What are you doing this weekend?
KEVIN
I was thinking of asking out Holly.
NATALIE
Oh, really?
KEVIN
Yeah. I think she has a thing for me. Like this morning, she taught me how to make change for a dollar out of just dimes and nickles.
NATALIE
Wow. That's pretty cool of her.
KEVIN
Yeah.
Kevin smiles and walks back to his desk.
Jim walks behind Natalie’s desk.
JIM
Have you ever google searched your own name before?
NATALIE
Can’t say that I have, no. Unlike you, I actually get paid to work by the hour around here.
JIM
Nice, well I googled yours, and you know what I found Miss Natalie Paladino, besides a very tasteless myspace page with a God-awful Steelers background?
Jim pushes her aside to control the mouse on her computer.
NATALIE
Oh my gosh, you are such a stalker. Seriously, you need help.
JIM
The Wreck. This week’s sports in review by Natalie Paladino.
NATALIE
Oh. My God. (Jim just flashes her a winning smile.) How did you find that?
JIM
Well you know, most people who don’t want to be found on the internet use a fake name. Like some kind of alias.
NATALIE
Like Peppercorn Genoa Salami? Oh my God, I can’t believe you found that.
JIM
You know, it’s actually pretty cool. I read some of what you wrote-
NATALIE
You read it?!
JIM
I’m sorry, do you have a public online blog for people NOT to read?
NATALIE (laughs)
No, it’s just… oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed.
JIM
Why? “Avery Johnson plans to take the year off to become a self-promoter of his own work. Check for Aspire Higher in bookstores, which won’t help your team win the NBA finals, but will at least tell you how to get there and 'aspire higher' to do better next time?” That's pretty funny. Seriously, you're really good.
NATALIE
Ok well, don’t look at it anymore.
JIM
Well, it's too late for that, I already saved it to my favorites. (Natalie looks at him with her mouth open in shock.) Oh yeah.
NATALIE
Oh gosh, ok well… I majored in journalism, and I’m still not quite sure what path I want to take with my degree.
JIM
Yeah? I majored in communications, too.
NATALIE
Really? That’s working out well for you.
JIM
Yeah.
NATALIE
I guess I can’t say anything. I mean, I got my bachelor’s degree to earn more money, and here I am as a receptionist making a little over ten dollars an hour.
JIM
Well, why aren’t you working somewhere else?
NATALIE
I don’t know where I want to go! I mean, I always wanted to get into sports journalism, but-
JIM
But what?
NATALIE
I don’t know. I mean, I see the women sports broadcasters on, like TNT? They’re so annoying! I was watching the Spurs/Hornets game the other night, and Cheryl Miller is in the stands asking Eva Longoria for Desperate Housewives scoop. During the game!
JIM
Oh my God.
NATALIE
I know, it’s like this isn’t Gossip Filler with Miller hour. If I wanted to learn more about Eva Longoria, I’d watch Entertainment Tonight.
JIM
Well, you should look into it. Seriously, you’re very talented. And I’m not just pulling your leg here. You shouldn't have to settle here as a receptionist.
NATALIE
Yeah, well, it's just for the summer, so... Ugh. What, is Dwight paying you to spy on me? It must be much more lucrative than what you’re making on salary here because I don’t think I’ve seen you make one sales call today. (Jim just smiles at her.) Go back to work. Or go back to not working and finish your poker game.
JIM
It’s solitare, actually.
NATALIE
Whatever. (She smiles, shaking her head as Jim returns to his desk.)
INT – Conference Room.
David Wallace is sitting at the table as Michael pesters him.
MICHAEL
… And the doctor told her, “Every day after you shower, rub your chest and say Scoobie doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies…” So she-
David is looking at Michael in disgust as Jim walks in.
DAVID
Jim! Good to see you, have a seat. If you could just excuse the two of us for a moment, Michael. I’d appreciate it.
MICHAEL
Are you sure? Not like I have anything else better to do, I was just playing some online pool, but if you need me to sit in-
DAVID
Michael-
MICHAEL (to Jim)
I can stay here. Help you answer the tough questions. Tell you what the head honchos are looking for.
DAVID
We’re good, Michael. Thank you.
MICHAEL
Ok. Just say yes to everything they say. They love that.
DAVID
Goodbye Michael.
MICHAEL
Yup. Oh, make sure you come by my office for the punch line. It’s… (laughs) It’s hilarious. Alright, good luck, kiddo. Jim’s always been like a little brother to me, so make sure you treat him with the utmost respect. Treat him like you would treat your mother, or a very, very wrinkled-old lady who can't remember her own name. Alright! I'll be in my office working on my 9-ball game if you need me.
Michael leaves and Jim raises his eyebrows as David laughs.
DAVID
Okay! (sighs) Ok, well Jim, you probably know why I’ve come down here to see you. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard what happened with Ryan Howard. In effect, we have, of course, released him of his duties here at Dunder Mifflin, which means that there is a vacant corporate manager position that we are looking to fill immediately.
JIM
Ok.
DAVID
Jim, I’ve been very fond of you every since I met you. You were a hit in your interview last year, your numbers look great, they’re very consistent, always in the top tier.
JIM
Wow, thank you.
DAVID
The Phil Maguire account was also a huge acquisition for us, and from what I heard about Mr. Maguire, we know he’s not easy to attain, so magnificent job you've done bringing him over from PPC.
JIM
Thanks. Yeah, I risked having him run me over in his $80,000 car, but it was worth it. So-
DAVID (laughs)
Yes, well very good work. I appreciate that you literally put your life on the line for our clients. (They share a laugh.) Anyway, getting to the point here. Jim, we would still love to bring you in to our corporate offices in New York, and the corporate manager position is yours if you are willing to accept it. I know last year you turned us down because you felt like you weren’t ready at the time, which was disheartening to hear because otherwise, I’m certain I would have hired you on the spot. So… 12 months later… what do you say?
JIM
Wow. Thank you, David. I appreciate the offer and thank you for all the nice things you said, I, um… to be honest, I feel like I should have some time to think about it. I should probably talk this over with Pam-
DAVID
Oh, hey, how is Pam? I heard she’s enrolled into Pratt?
JIM
She’s doing really well. She loves it there, she calls me everyday and she’s always so excited and she goes on and on... I’m just really glad she was given the opportunity. She deserves it.
DAVID
That’s great. Well, I understand that you need to think things over, but we are looking to fill the position as soon as we possibly can, so within the next 24-48 hours, get in touch with us and let us know what you decide, alright?
JIM
Alright. Thank you David.
DAVID
Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.
INT – Office.
Jim's sitting at his desk, and the camera shows that he has Natalie's website pulled up on his screen. He smiles to himself.
INT - Reception
Jim walks over to Natalie’s desk.
JIM
Hey.
NATALIE
Hey.
JIM
Hey, a couple of my friends are going to Poor Richard’s after work to catch the Phillies/Astros game. I know you only bleed Red Sox colors, but you should feel free to come along.
NATALIE
Oh. (She smiles happily.)
JIM
I mean, I know you’re new to the area and you don’t have a lot of friends… (Natalie looks at him quizzically.) It’s just… I overheard your conversation with Kevin earlier.
NATALIE
You should seriously look into this stalking issue of yours.
JIM (laughs)
Actually, my brother Josh is going to be there, and I really think you should meet him. My girlfriend, Pam, thinks you two might really hit it off.
NATALIE
Oh. (A look of disappointment crosses her face, and Jim notices.)
JIM
Pam actually was our receptionist before you got here. Well, technically she still is I guess, she’s going to an art school in New York for the summer so she won’t be there tonight, but she does really want to meet you someday. I mean, anybody who can hold their own against Dwight-
NATALIE
Yeah… um, actually, I sort of thought that I would, um…
JIM
Oh.
NATALIE
I kind of already had my evening planned out already. Walking my dog, going to the gym, catching up on my correspondence… updating my blog. (Jim laughs.) Yeah... you know.
JIM
Sounds action-packed.
NATALIE
Yeah. Thank you for the invite, though.
JIM
Oh yeah, no. Maybe some other time. (He smiles and returns to his desk as Natalie watches him leave in disappointment.)
INT – Michael’s office.
Michael is looking out the window as Natalie walks in.
MICHAEL
What is Dwight doing?
NATALIE
He thinks his computer is alive and trying to kill him.
MICHAEL (sighs)
Idiot.
NATALIE
Here’s Jim’s paperwork.
MICHAEL
Oh thank you.
Natalie turns to leave.
MICHAEL
Hey. Is everything ok?
NATALIE
I’m sorry?
MICHAEL
You look like you might be sad or sick or something. Do you need Pepto Bismol? Gas-X? Imodium AD? Rolaids? Altoids? The whole she-bang? Just don't take them all at once. Rookie mistake.
NATALIE
No, thank you. I’m ok.
MICHAEL
Ok. Well, good job today. Actually, you know what. Go ahead and take the rest of the day off. Get home, enjoy your weekend.
NATALIE
Oh. Thanks.
NATALIE Talking Head:
Today was ok. A little crazy… so… thank goodness Michael let me go home early… because those last fifteen minutes seemed like they were going to be pretty brutal.
EXT – Parking lot.
Natalie exits the building and walks to her car, noticing she has a flat tire.
NATALIE
Aw… dammit.
She puts her stuff inside the car and opens her trunk as a young man walks by.
MAN
Hey, do you need some help?
NATALIE
Oh, no, I got it. I’ve changed plenty of flat tires in my day, but… thank you.
MAN
No way, here let me help you.
He takes the spare tire from her and walks around to survey the damage to the flat.
MAN
Wow, good job. Did you go driving across a bed of nails? You messed this tire up pretty bad.
NATALIE
Are you trying to say that I’m intentionally destructive or are you stereotyping me as a bad driver?
MAN
Intentionally destructive. I mean, you do look the type. I usually have to watch after myself around people your size. Remember Gollum? Lord of the Rings?
NATALIE (laughs)
Oh…
MAN
I’m kidding, I’m kidding.
NATALIE
Picking on the vertically challenged. I don’t know you yet, but that’s pretty low for someone your size.
He gets on his knees to start unscrewing the bolts on her tire.
MAN
Is it? I’m sorry. I have a fairly low self-esteem, so my therapist told me to just pick on those shorter than me to make myself feel better. (Natalie laughs.) I’m Josh, by the way. (He holds out his hand to shake hers.)
NATALIE
Oh, you’re Jim’s brother.
JOSH
I am.
NATALIE
I can see the freakishly tall resemblance.
JOSH
Were you not listening with the whole low self-esteem thing? Gee, thanks for the overwhelming vote of confidence. I appreciate it. Way to make me feel good about myself, excuse me while I go slit my wrists.
NATALIE
Well, can you wait until after you change my tire because I’d hate to dirty up my work outfit. (He looks up at her in shock while she smiles mischievously.)
JOSH
Natalie.
NATALIE
That is my name, yes.
JOSH
My brother was right about you.
NATALIE
In what aspect, exactly?
JOSH
You’re very wittywordy.
NATALIE
What does that mean?
JOSH
You’re very witty, but you talk too much. (Natalie gaps in shocks.) I’m kidding. No, I mean you’re very witty with your words. You’re very funny is all.
NATALIE
So I should go after my true calling in stand-up? Because I always wanted to be the next Roseanne or Ellen, you know, do stand-up comedy for a couple of years, then have my own sitcom named after me. I mean, I know it's very 1992, but I think I could be on the cusp of a huge comeback.
JOSH
What, like "The Natalie Show"? I can see that, it has a nice ring to it.
NATALIE
You look like you're having some trouble, here let me-
JOSH
Oh, you're going to tell the freakishly tall man who worked at an auto repair shop for two summers how to change a flat tire?
NATALIE
Well, you just looked like you were struggling-
JOSH
I change the tire like a sissy little girl, essentially is what you're saying. (Natalie laughs and just smiles at him.) What?
NATALIE
Nothing, it's just... you remind me a lot of your brother.
JOSH
Yeah, well. I'm taller. (Natalie laughs.)
Author's Chapter Notes:
Not much funny business going on in this chapter, I kind of wanted to flesh Natalie out a little bit more, and achieve some actual growth for Jim to find out what path he'll soon be taking in the future. I think Natalie will be helping him along quite a bit in the future. ;)
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing.
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing.
Chapter End Notes:
Yikes. I kind of wrote this in a rush, so it may be kind of choppy and rough around the edges. Let me know what you think!
:)
:)
