Dwight and Angela are standing in the kitchen, not making eye contact. Angela whispers, "I'm late."

"Late for what?"

She looks around and glares at him.

"Oh."

"He'll know. He thinks I'm..." - she looks around to make sure no one is looking - "a virgin."

Dwight smiles. "Well, maybe we should just forget the whole thing..."

"No! I have to marry him. Otherwise we'll never get that money!" She turns and storms out of the kitchen.

~
Andy: Yes, I got a gigantic inheritance after my parents were killed in that ferris wheel accident. Why do you ask?
~

Jim's beard has gotten bigger. He is frantically looking at something on the internet while drinking from a large brandy glass at his desk.

~
Jim: I can't tell you why, but I think things may not have been what they seemed when I walked in on Pam and her Latin lover. I have to do some googling to make sure.
~

Michael is sitting at his desk leafing through a Babies R Us catalog. He calls out to Jim. Jim walks into his office and shuts the door.

"What's up?"

"I am not sure what theme we should do the nursery in. I mean, I like this Noah's Ark one but is it too controversial?"

Jim stares at him blankly. "Okay then," he says as he gets up to leave.

"No wait," Michael says. Jim sits back down. "Let me take you to lunch."

"Nah, I'm okay, I just..."

"Oh, it's my treat, my friend. We can go to Hooter's, like olden times!"

Jim sighs. Suddenly there's a knock at the door and Tiger enters. "Michael, there's a call for you from corporate."

"Eh. Okay," he says and dismisses Tiger with a half wave.

Tiger leaves and looks at the camera in a sinister manner. Jim follows him out as Michael picks up his phone.

"Oh Jim," Tiger says. "This came for you while you were passed out in the breakroom earlier." He hands Jim an envelope. Jim turns away from him and anxiously opens it.

A note falls out onto his lap. Attached to it is a yogurt lid. The note says simply, "You have to help her."

Jim grabs his jacket and rushes out of the office.

Meanwhile, Dwight and Angela are in the ladies' room making out. Meredith walks in to use the bathroom but takes one look at them and turns around to leave.

Dwight sighs. "I'll take care of this one."

---

"Meredith too? Do you think it's the asbestos?" Michael is shaking his head as the ambulance pulls away. They are all standing outside in the parking lot.

"Could be," says Dwight with a smirk.

"Where is Jim, anyway? Don't tell me he's in a coma too."

Tiger speaks up. "Jim ran out of here earlier after he got a mysterious note."

"A mysterious note? Really? What did it say?" Michael asks.

Tiger growls, "If I knew that, it wouldn't be mysterious, would it?"

Michael rolls his eyes.

~
Michael: That kid bugs me. And he seems sort of familiar. Anyway, I think I'm going to call the temp agency to replace him. (he pauses) Wait, I don't remember calling the temp agency to hire him to begin with...
~

Meanwhile, Jim reaches Pam's apartment in New York. He rushes in to find her naked in bed with Paolo again.

"Sorry man, can you give us a minute?" he says, trying to catch his breath. Paolo looks indignant but Pam nods so he reluctantly leaves the bedroom.

"I know what's going on here," Jim starts, but Pam interrupts.

"Jim, let me explain..."

"No, you don't get to explain." Suddenly, he whips out a gun and points it at her.

"JIM!"

"Where is she?" Jim demands.

"Who?" Pam whimpers.

"You know who!" he hisses.

A look of recognition passes over Pam's face.

---
Back at the office, everyone (or at least everyone who is left) is back at their desks. Andy looks concerned.

~
Andy: I don't know, it just seems weird. I mean one person falls into a mysterious coma for no apparent reason - that I can understand. But then two more? Something is fah-reaky about this.
~
~
Kelly: Oh my God, if I go into a coma I will be so pissed. There's a new episode of The Hills on that I just can't miss, and my DVR is broken and the cable guy can't come out until next Tuesday. (She sighs) I knew I should have gotten Tivo instead.
~
~
Creed: I was in a coma once. For five weeks. That was some of the best sleep I've ever had. I recommend it.
~

A police officer is talking to Michael in his office.

"I don't know! I mean, we found Phyllis the day after she planned a big party, and I just thought the excitement got to her. And then Stanley, he was just drinking his coffee... and now Meredith."

"Sir, we suspect foul play. Has anyone in this office been acting suspicious lately?"

"No. Well, not really." He hesitates.

"Go on," the cop says.

"Well, Jim Halpert... he's been kind of depressed lately. Grew a big beard and drinks at his desk all day. But he's just heartbroken, that's all. His girl was schlepping some Spanish nude guy."

"Can we speak to this Jim?"

"Ah, well, he ran out of here earlier. Kind of suspiciously... actually..." He trails off.

The cop quickly talks into his radio. "We need to put out an APB..."

~
Michael: Nah, I don't think Jim did this. He's not capable of violence.
~

Paolo lies on the floor, knocked out by one magnificently timed blow to the back of the head with Jim's pistol. Pam is tied to a chair, whimpering.

"Don't do this, Jim!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I don't even know you."

"You're just messed up, with all the drinking you've been doing..." She tries to reason with him but he cuts her off by duct taping her mouth shut, then he gets to work on tying up the unconscious Paolo. When he's done, he pulls up a chair and sits down in front of Pam, looking her in the eye.

"Now, tell me where the real Pam is."

Join us next time when Jim discovers the truth, Michael discovers the registry at Babies R Us, and someone else discovers Dwight and Angela.