Jim is hacking through the jungle with a machete. Katy follows him, her hands tied together with rope.
"Boy, that was a heck of a plane ride wasn't it?" she says conversationally. "Don't you think that pilot looked like Anthony Geary?"
"Who?" Jim asks, only half listening. He is drenched with sweat and his clothes are all ragged and practically falling off of him.
"Nevermind..." Katy replies with a sigh. "Are we there yet?"
"You tell me," he sneers. "You're the one involved in a plot to kidnap my girlfriend and assume her identity."
"I told you, he was very persuasive. I had a tough childhood and, hey, might I remind you that you are, right at this moment, kidnapping me? You're not perfect."
"Shut up," he barks. She does.
~
Jim: Yeah, Katy told me the whole story - she ran into Toby at the camera store and he thought she was Pam, until she explained that she was really Katy and was just waiting for the perfect moment to surprise me with her new look. Anyway, they got to talking and formulated this whole elaborate plan to kidnap Pam, fake Toby's death, assume Pam's identity, have me catch her *bleep*ing someone else, and then... wait, I think I just confused myself... Okay, so none of it makes any sense, but here we are just the same. [he shrugs]
~
Michael is sitting at his desk with an elaborate system of tubing and machine parts spread out before him. He's trying to stick one end of a tube into another part and is getting frustrated. Dwight walks in and says, "Breast pump?"
Michael glances up at him. "How did you know?"
~
Dwight: Just because I am a beet farmer does not mean we didn't have a dairy cow. We had a lovely cow named Gerdrut. She was like a kind, gentle friend to our family. [he grins slightly with an air of nostalgia] And she made some excellent steak later when her milk dried up.
~
"So Jan wanted me to put this together for her, but it's so complicated!" He slams his fist onto his desk in frustration.
Just then Tiger knocks on his door. "Michael, the police are here again." Michael grunts with exasperation and Dwight quickly exits.
Before the officer can say anything, Michael says, "Look, I told you, I don't know where Jim Halpert is, and even if I did, I might not tell you because I don't think he did what it is that you think he did."
"Actually," the cop says, "we need to talk to Andrew Bernard. Any idea where he might be?"
Michael furrows his brow and walks to the door, looking out to Andy's desk. It was exactly the way Andy had left it the day before. "That's weird," Michael mumbles.
"Sorry?"
"Well, it's weird that Andy's not here. Oh no! Has there been another coma? See, that would prove that Jim didn't do it! What did I tell you? I knew he didn't have it in him." He pauses, waits, and blurts, "That's what she said!"
Just then, Andy walks into the office. His expression is totally blank as he heads straight to his desk.
"There's Andy now!" Michael says, and the officer approaches.
"Mr. Andrew Bernard?"
Andy just stares.
"Uh, Andy, this police officer wanted to talk to you," Michael explains, but Andy doesn't say anything. "Andy?"
"Oh yeah. Hey, what's up?" Andy smiles slightly but it looks more like a grimace.
"You okay, buddy?"
"Yeah, I think so... just disoriented, you know, from all the Christmas shopping I did over the weekend."
Michael furrows his brow in confusion. "Uh... it's June."
"Ha! That's a good one, Michael." He looks around to share a laugh with his officemates, and notices hardly anyone is there. "Hey, where is everyone? Taking time off for the holidays?"
~
Michael: So it turns out, Andy has amnesia. He has forgotten everything that has happened in the past six months. I'm actually kind of... jealous.
~
Dwight and Angela are in the kitchen, once again not making eye contact.
"It was the only way," Dwight whispers. "We couldn't put him in a coma; it would be too suspicious."
"Oh, and spontaneous amnesia isn't suspicious?" Angela replies bitterly. "Plus now he doesn't even remember proposing to me, so we'll have to start all over!" She flounces out of the kitchen in a huff.
Andy smiles at her as she heads back to her desk. "Hey sweetheart, I have some big plans for our two-month anniversary coming up!"
She shakes her head and continues to her seat.
---
Meanwhile, in the Costa Rican rainforest, Jim and Katy have arrived at the bungalow. Jim looks for a way to sneak inside, but Katy just opens the door.
"Hello? Anyone home?"
Toby appears in the doorway. "Pam? But you were..." he gestures to the back room.
"Oh I just had to pee," Katy says, winking to Jim who is not in Toby's line of sight. Jim mutters, "Yeah, real convincing" under his breath.
Toby looks puzzled and says, "But we have a bathroom."
"Oh well, you know, fresh air and all that..."
"But it's a hundred and five degrees outside," he continues to argue.
Jim sighs and steps into view with his gun pointed at Toby. "Enough!" he says grouchily. "This has been the worse day ever. Just tell me where Pam is."
Toby is shocked and reels backwards, tripping over a chair and falling to the floor. Jim grabs him and punches him in the face.
"OW! Jim! Why'd you do that?"
"That was for faking your death and kidnapping my girlfriend. Now tell me where she is." Toby, looking sullen, points to the back room. Jim runs to the door and opens it, revealing Pam asleep on the bed.
"Pam?" he says softly.
She bolts upright, trying to focus on him. "Jim? Is that you?"
He rushes to her side. "Yes, it's me!" They embrace and he leans in to kiss her. After a moment she breaks away, laughing. "No offense but you could use a mint. And a shower. And a razor..."
He smiles at her. "I know. I don't care. I'm just so glad to find you." They hug again, lost in their reunion, when they suddenly hear a maniacal laugh at the door.
Toby is standing there with Jim's gun pointed directly at them.
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"
Next time on Days Of The Office...
Will Jim and Pam escape from Toby's clutches?
Will Andy remember proposing to Angela?
Will someone wake up out of a coma and expose a secret or two?
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