Pam cries out as she cradles Jim's head in her arms. "Jim, please! No!"
"You killed Jim, you bastard!" Katy slaps Toby across the cheek.
"I... I'm sorry..." Toby seems stunned.
Suddenly a swat team rushes the bungalow, led by a US Marshal. Someone cuffs Toby and drags him off, while some medics attend to Jim. Pam is still crying. Katy tries to comfort her.
"Uh, which one of you is Pam Beesly?" asks the Marshal, looking at the picture he's holding and then up at the two identical women.
"I am," Pam manages to choke out. "Jim - "
"I know it's a bad time, but we have to know what happened here."
Pam is too shaken to speak, so Katy says, "Toby kidnapped Pam and then faked his death. Then Jim kidnapped me, but not in a bad way, and we came here - "
"What?" The Marshal looks confused.
The medics are loading Jim onto a stretcher. "I need to be with him," Pam says, still holding onto his hand. She follows them out to the helicopter which was conveniently waiting for them outside.
---
Much later, Michael bursts into the waiting room at the Scranton General Hospital. He sees Pam crying in a chair, and sits next to her to put his arm around her. She sniffles a few times and then manages to say, "They are operating right now. It doesn't look good. This is all my fault!"
Michael doesn't say anything for a minute, and then, hesitantly: "So I guess it's over between you and that naked Spanish guy?"
Pam stares at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Uh... the guy Jim caught you in bed with a few weeks ago, before he grew a beard and became a drunk..."
She looks at him, mouth open, unable to speak.
"Nevermind," Michael mutters, then adds with some false zeal, "I'm sure it will all work out!"
Just then they hear a voice. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm Dr. Carver. I'm the on-call surgeon-slash-pediatrician-slash-obstetrician-slash-podiatrist. I just finished the surgery. He is still out of it, but you can go in to see him now."
Pam looks at Michael, who nods. "I'll be here if you need me."
She walks slowly into the recovery room. Jim is hooked up to a bunch of wires and the machine is steadily beeping. She totally misses his spirit or essence or life force standing near the bed, yelling, "PAM! PAM! I'm here!"
~
Jim's Spirit: I mean, I was standing right there and she totally ignored me. What more could I do?
~
"I. FEEL. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNGG!" Jim-as-would-be-ghost wails. It doesn't work. Pam grips his hand and sobs into it. "I'm not ready to let you go," she says softly.
---
Meanwhile, back at the office, Andy and Kelly emerge from Andy's Prius, their clothes all akimbo.
"Thanks," Andy says, winking at her. "You sure know how to cheer a guy up."
Kelly says, "You are totally welcome! That was, like, the best car sex I've had since Ryan dumped me... like two hours after we had car sex. He was such an asshole."
Andy nods and they walk back toward the building. When they get to the door he stops. "Oh shoot," he says, "I forgot my cell phone. I'll catch up, sweetiekins." He kisses her hand and she continues on inside. As he's walking back to the car, though, danger strikes in the form of a shadowy figure wearing ninja gear. The figure clocks Andy in the back of the head, which conveniently knocks him unconscious. The shadow-ninja then throws Andy's floppy body into the trunk of the Prius, pries the keys from his hands, and drives off.
Michael is still at the hospital when his cell phone rings.
"Hello? Oh hi Jan. - Yeah, I'll pick some up. - No I am not at improv. - I'm kind of having a bad week at work... - What do you mean, of course I care about you and the baby! But two of my employees are in comas, one just woke up, one got shot, one was kidnapped, and stupid Toby is not dead anymore. - Okay, okay, I'll pick some up on the way home." He hangs up the phone, exasperated.
~
Michael: What do you mean? Things are great with Jan. She just needs some ice cream, is all. [he sighs and gazes downward]
~
"Excuse me, are you Michael Scott?" The same Dr. Carver from earlier approaches him.
"Yes, sir. I mean ma'am. What is it?"
"Well, it seems that all of your employees that were in comas are now awake! Stanley Hudson and Meredith Palmer both simultaneously woke up, and, as a stroke of luck, they are in the same room!"
"Thank you, Dr. Carver!" Michael shouts, and heads to see Stanley and Meredith.
Stanley is sitting up doing a crossword puzzle, while Meredith is drinking something out of a large sippy cup. The detective is in the room with them, taking notes.
"And then what happened?"
"I told you," Stanley grumbles, "I drank my coffee and that's the last thing I remember."
"And I drank my... coffee too and just woke up here."
"So both of you witnessed this - " he checks his notes " - Dwight and Angela having inappropriate relations at work, and then you both drank something, and you both end up in comas?"
Michael chimes in, "Do you think it's all related somehow?"
"No, it's a total coincidence," the detective replies, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to go put out an arrest warrant for these two." He hurries out of the room.
Michael stands there for a moment. "Wait a minute, did you say Dwight and Angela?"
Meredith nods, Stanley says, "Mmm-hmmm," and Michael looks like he might gag. "Gross."
---
In Jim's room, things start beeping and the nurse comes running in.
"What's wrong?" Pam asks through her tears.
"He's coding. I have to fetch Dr. Carver." The nurse leaves. Jim's spirit yells, "NOOOO!"
Pam yells, "NOOOO!"
Dr. Carver rushes in. Jim has flatlined. The doctor turns to Pam, "Sorry, he's gone. Time of death, 16:05."
Pam screeches, "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!"
~
Jim's Spirit: Do I feel dead? Not really. I have a feeling I'll be back. This is just a... minor bump in the road.
~
Is Jim really dead? What about Andy? Will Michael forget the ice cream on his way home?
Author's Chapter Notes:
If you've never watched Days Of Our Lives, then this chapter probably makes even less sense than the previous ones. If you have watched DOOL, then here's to John Black!
