They drove to Bookbinder’s in a stiff silence. The energy in the air was palpable, and Jim was sure he wasn’t the only one who sensed it. Every so often he would catch Pam glancing at him from across the car, a look on her face that would cause feelings of restlessness inside him. He knew now that he wasn’t imagining their mutual attraction, yet he couldn’t help but wonder why she was still with Roy.
He grappled with the conundrum the entire drive there, and eventually made up his mind that even if she was still dating Roy, she at least had asked him out for tonight. And if that was all he got, well, then he would soak up every moment of it. Tonight would always be theirs.
Jim pulled into a parking spot and they headed inside restaurant. Once they were seated, they began to make small talk, the tension between them intense. Both were scared to bring up their magnetism to each other, so the conversation stayed light, dancing around what they were both afraid to say.
“Um, so I’ve started reading your articles,” Pam said as she fidgeted with the silverware in front of her.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, they’re really good,” she told him genuinely, smiling. “I especially like the way you analyze games… I mean, I don’t really watch sports, but the way you talk about it, so devotedly, makes me want to sit through one sometime.”
“Well thanks,” Jim blushed, looking down at his menu. “It’s not every day I actually get praised for my writing.”
She gave him a nod in understanding, “Well you should. You’re more than just a lucky charm; you’re a fantastic writer. And if the luck wears off, that is really something amazing to have left.”
Jim watched as she looked down at her menu, embarrassed by how openly she had just spoken, and it made his heart wrench. How agonizing to want to just grab her hand or kiss her, and yet to be so restrained, not only by her oaf of a boyfriend, but because they had set up the boundary of friendship. Boyfriend or not, Pam was the kind of girl who would want to maintain those barriers at all costs, and so once again, he felt defeated.
“You know,” he began, an artificial smile masking his misery, “Every Sixers fan is going to be really mad I’m not at the game tonight.”
“Oh my gosh,” she gasped softly, “You had a game tonight?”
“It’s fine,” he brushed it off and gave her a small shrug. “I got Phyllis to cover for me. My job’s not my life; so what if people don’t understand that. Plus, with the team’s record right now, I can afford to miss a game.”
“Alright…” Pam said hesitantly. “But are you sure your crazy boss with be okay with it?”
He took in a deep breath as he contemplated her question, and then responded, “Eh, probably not.” She smiled brightly at him as a waiter came to take their order, and they continued their cheerful conversation until well after the check arrived. Both found it so easy to talk with the other, as though they had been doing it for years instead of weeks. And both couldn’t help but think this is what every day would be like if they were together.
… … …
They could hear the light sounds of Harry Connick Jr. outside as Pam helped the security guard find her name on the guest list. They were admitted in and were immediately astounded by what they saw: Angela had transformed their gallery into a stylish club, with bunches of sophisticatedly colored balloons and high tables placed strategically for people to lean on as they admired the art. They exchanged a glance and gave a small nod to each other in approval; there was a reason why Angela was so acclaimed for what she did.
“There she is,” Pam pointed out the small woman by the bar ordering a water. “Wanna go say hi?”
“Uhh… really?”
She gave him a disapproving look, “Come on, we’ll probably run into her sometime tonight. We may as well go over there now and get it over with.”
“Alright,” Jim conceded, and so they began to make their way over to the bar. But they stopped in their tracks when they saw a tall, extremely overdressed man walk up and start talking to her. “Is that…?” Jim began to ask, his eyes squinting to see.
“I think it is,” Pam replied in a horrified tone. “Do you think that Angela…?”
“Absolutely I do,” he said, nodding his head gravely. “Well, there’s no way I’m going over there now—”
Pam grabbed his arm as he began to turn in the opposite direction, “Oh, come on ya big baby…” she said as she yanked him in the direction of the bar. Admitting defeat, he gave in and casually walked with her up to the strange couple, who both frowned at them in disapproval. “Hi Angela… Dwight,” Pam smiled at them, not receiving a smile in return.
“Pam,” Angela nodded curtly.
“Hey Angela, the place looks great,” Jim told her, to which she only responded with the slightest hint of a grin.
“Thank you.”
“And Dwight…” Jim studied his tux. “Uh, just one question: how long is the wait for a table for two?”
Dwight glared at him, “I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years.”
“Then what would you call fixing my garbage disposal last week?” Jim smirked.
“That was serving the landlord!”
“But it was in my apartment—”
“Which you don’t own!”
“Okay, hey! Dwight!” Pam shouted, drawing them away from their argument. “It’s… it’s a nice tux.”
“I know,” Dwight told her in a prideful tone as he tugged on the lapels. “It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so… family heirloom.”
Jim and Pam exchanged a wide-eyed glance at each other before Angela and Dwight excused themselves to go mingle. “So… I think I need a drink after that,” Jim sighed heavily. “What do ya say? Drink?”
“Definitely,” Pam agreed, still shell-shocked. “A big one.” Jim had just finished ordering when they heard a loud screech come from across the room.
“Ohmygod! Paaam!! Hiii!!” Kelly squealed and waved at them. She was standing with Ryan and a group of older couples, who Pam assumed were patrons, and she hoped her boss wasn’t too upset with her. “That’s my friend Pam. She works here,” Kelly told a couple of ladies standing next to her, and then waved again, “Come on over!!!!”
Pam looked helplessly over at Jim, who was deliberately turned away, and so she sighed and left him at the bar to greet her friend. “How are you?” she asked Kelly sincerely. “How’s your blind date going?”
“Oh you know, Ryan’s the big-time executive or whatever so he’s really busy with all the rich dudes, but I’m having a lot of fun with their wives! Aren’t we having fun, ladies?”
“Absolutely, Kelly!” the woman donned in a forest green dress agreed.
“She is like a breath of fresh air!” the other one wearing a navy dress and mink stole told Pam, who could only nod her head in delighted surprise.
“And speaking of fresh,” Kelly said, “Bea, fur is so out right now. The little creatures you should be hauling around should be puppies in purses, not dead rodents around your neck.”
Pam’s eyes widened as the woman in the navy dress touched the soft fur of her stole in shock. She wondered if Kelly realized insulting the patrons was not going to get the gallery any money. Where was her sense of modesty? Pam was sure of one thing though, and that was that she didn’t need to worry about showing up to work on Monday, because she would be fired for sure.
The woman in navy unwrapped the stole from her neck and handed it over to Kelly in a flourish. “You are so right. It’s too hot for this thing anyway. Kelly, thank you for being so honest. Do you do personal styling?”
“Absolutely! You should come by my shop sometime!...” Kelly began, but that was all Pam heard because she was sure she had blacked out or hallucinated the whole thing. She even started to think she wouldn’t lose her job after all, but she was shaken from her trance when Ryan and a couple older gentlemen approached them.
“Ladies, how are we all doing?” Ryan asked in a condescending tone of voice. “Oh, Phil, Al, this is Pam. She runs our website.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said as she shook their hands one by one.
The taller of the two addressed her, “So, are you also the girl that set Ryan up with this gem of a woman?” He motioned to Kelly, who was beaming with pride.
“Oh stop it Al!” she giggled.
Pam smiled nervously and replied, “Yes, that was me, sir.”
“Wonderful!” Phil exclaimed as Ryan pulled Pam away from the group, Phil continuing his train of thought, “You know who she reminds me of, Bea? Margaret, down at the country club…”
“You think you’re very funny, don’t you?” Ryan hissed as soon as the group was out of earshot, his hand clasping her arm forcefully.
“Ryan, I—”
“Well you are very lucky that these people somehow seem to like her. Extremely lucky. Do you hear me?”
“Yes Ryan.”
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Pam squirmed under Ryan’s tight grip, “Ryan, I just thought… um…” But she was saved when she caught Jim’s eye from across the room. Her eyes pleaded with him to help her, and so he excused himself from the couple he was talking to and rushed over.
Ryan immediately loosened his grasp as he saw the lanky man heading toward them, looking cool and collected but his fists clenched in rage. Jim walked straight up to them and towered over her boss. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jim—” he stuck out his hand and Ryan nervously shook it.
“Ryan Howard. Pam’s boss.”
Jim shot a protective look over at Pam, who had regained her composure and was able to give him a soft smile letting him know she was okay, and so he turned back to Ryan, “Oh, like the baseball player.”
“Right,” Ryan chuckled. “I’m older than him by a few months though.”
“Interesting,” Jim replied, glancing again at his date, who was warning him with her eyes not to do anything to her boss. He gave her a small nod and turned back to Ryan, “Well, it was good to meet you. Pam, can I interest you in a dance?”
“Um, okay,” she beamed, realizing he was getting her out of trouble for now. “We’ll talk later Ryan, okay?”
“Count on it,” he told her as Jim dragged her away and Ryan went back to his guests.
She breathed a sigh of relief and put a hand on his arm, “Thank you so much, he was totally about to kick my ass.”
“I could see that,” he responded seriously. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, Jim, yeah,” she smiled. “I mean, was I really going to let Ryan do me any physical harm? I was just worried about losing my job.”
He stared at her skeptically, wanting her to admit otherwise, but she gave him a convincing look back for him not to worry about it. “Alright,” he conceded, “But if you ever need me to punch his lights out—”
“You’d need to get in line,” Pam finished his sentence with a giggle, which lightened the mood between them.
“So are we dancing or what?” he asked as he extended his hand.
“Oh, no no no…” she waved her arms and backed away, “I’m such a dorky dancer.”
“Aw, come on,” Jim protested, reaching for her hand as the track changed to Harry Connick Jr.’s “I Only Have Eyes For You”. Jim stuck out his hand a little further, “It’s a slow one now. We barely have to dance. It’ll be like, swaying.”
“Swaying isn’t dancing,” she retorted with a smirk.
He grinned back at her and replied coolly, “Then you won’t look dorky.” Pam scrunched up her face, knowing her logic had been defeated, and finally gave in.
She took his hand and he led her out onto the dance floor, wrapping his arms gently around her waist as she put her hands on his shoulders. She sighed into his embrace and they swayed slowly to the lingering melody and smooth voice of Harry Connick Jr., the lyrics lending a hand to the feeling of the night.
Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright,
‘Cause I only have eyes for you, dear.
The moon may be high,
But I can't see a thing in the sky,
‘Cause I only have eyes for you…
The room seemed to disappear as they danced, the chatter of conversation fading against the mellow tune of the song. Jim swore that if he closed his eyes, it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world, and that tonight, the only thing that mattered was them. He was so lost in his daydream that he barely even noticed when the song ended.
“Jim—” he heard Pam whisper softly. He opened his eyes to find her pulling away from him, a smirk on her face. “The song’s over.”
“Yeah, are ya deaf, Halpert?” he heard Dwight sneer next to him as he danced an acceptable distance away from Angela.
“What’s that Dwight?” Jim leaned in toward them and cupped his ear with his hand. “Did you say, ‘Do you want me to plot your death?’”
“No!—”
“Cause that’s a pretty odd request, but if you want me to…”
“Jim! I know you’re faking!”
“Your heart is breaking?”
“Stop acting like an idiot!”
“Angela, are you breaking his heart?”
“No!” Angela was quick to respond.
Pam smirked, wise to his game, “Jim, do you think you need a hearing aid?”
“Do I want some lemonade?” he shouted back, causing Dwight to get fed up and storm off, leaving Angela behind. She glared at the two of them and ran a few steps behind her date, to which Jim and Pam responded by congratulating each other on a well-executed impromptu prank, bowing and curtsying respectively.
… … …
“Well, that was simply an awful time,” Jim said sarcastically as they climbed the steps to their floor. “I really just… didn’t have any fun at all.”
Pam giggled at him, “Oh yeah?”
“Absolutely. Dinner was nauseating, and the art?” Jim scoffed in fake disapproval as she smacked his arm playfully. “And then on top of everything else I had to see Dwight there—”
“Then why’d you agree to go with me in the first place?” she asked as she unlocked her door.
“Oh, out of pity of course,” he replied as she shook her head, trying her best to conceal a grin. He continued mockingly, “Nah, you know I just went cause I’m so in love with you—”
As soon as the words left his lips, Jim realized it hadn’t sounded as jokingly as he intended, and watching her eyes practically bulge out of her head in shock served as further proof of that fact.
He had told her he was in love with her.
Accidentally of course, but convincingly enough that he wondered if he’d ever recover from it. And watching her expression transform in reaction to it shook him to his very core, and made him think that he would have to consciously avoid her for the next several days. Weeks, if that’s what it took.
Thinking quickly, Jim did the only thing he knew how to do: laugh it off. He gave a small, forced chuckle, and a look that tried to express he was just kidding, and she reacted in just the way he knew she had been taught to react: follow along.
“Oh, hah. Good joke…” she trailed off, her heart pounding in her ears. She wondered, had he really said ‘love’? Did he say he was in love with her? Or did she imagine it? She couldn’t be sure, but she did know the look he was giving her now was one telling her to please do something so he wouldn’t feel so embarrassed.
But he didn’t have anything to feel embarrassed about. He could at least admit his feelings, she thought, however lighthearted and sarcastic he may have intended them to be. And with that awareness washing over her, she realized that she had finally made up her mind.
“Well, thanks,” she told him, and gave him a soft smile.
“Oh yeah, sure… of course,” he chuckled nervously as he stared at her. She suddenly took a step forward, making his heartbeat quicken to a thousand miles a minute, and she pulled him in for a friendly hug. He let out a deep sigh, relieved that she was willing to still be polite to him after his monstrous slip up, and found her eyes as she pulled away from him slowly.
He was surprised to find though, that her expression seemed to mirror his: longing, desire, and passion were all visibly apparent on her face. And so he decided to go for it, drawing her in slowly for a soft kiss on the lips, and felt his knees weaken when she reciprocated and deepened it. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling the fabric of her dress against his fingertips, and could barely contain himself as her hands found their way into his hair.
The moment seemed to last for hours, but as they finally came up for air, it dawned on him that they had crossed the last boundary between them, and because of that, had altered their entire lives in the process. It exhilarated him, but terrified her, because as soon as she pulled away to look at him, her face fell.
“Oh my God,” Pam whispered, her tone shaky and disbelieving. She took one more bewildered look at him and quickly made her way inside her apartment, leaving Jim standing out in the suddenly cold and desolate hallway, his expression riddled with distress. He sunk down to the floor and put his head in his hands, wondering just how he could be so stupid, when he heard her door fly back open.
There she was, standing in the doorway and staring at him, still looking awfully frightened, but determined too. In a flash she bent down in front of him and tipped his chin up to look at her, and before he knew what was happening, she had swept him up into a passionate kiss.
Their embrace was frenzied and haphazard, but Jim managed to pull away from her just long enough to whisper, “Let’s go inside.” She agreed and quickly pulled him up and into her apartment, hastily closing the door on the rest of the world. Tonight the world was all theirs.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Well, you've all been patient, and you've all been kind, and so here it is: the party chapter. I hope it's everything you're expecting and more. I am extremely excited to hear what you all think.
A million thanks to EmilyHalpert for everything.
A million thanks to EmilyHalpert for everything.
Chapter End Notes:
If you'd like to know what happens next, I suggest go read any of those smutty first date fics out there, cause I am just gonna leave the details of their night to your imagination. ;)
