Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, so this little story is playing out a bit longer than I'd originally intended, but I hope no one minds. I guess Greg House will not be contained. More chapters tomorrow! Thanks for reading!
“The first place to start is to look at the history. I know you've got plenty of that.”
“Too much, almost,” she agreed.
“Maybe, maybe not.” He hit her leg with his cane. “Can I have my space back?”
“Sure,” she mumbled, slipping back over to the couch. She picked the pillow back up off the floor and wrapped her arms around it for the second time that night.
“There you go again,” House sighed dramatically.
“What?”
“You're already in hiding mode.” He grabbed the pillow out of her hands and flipped it over his shoulder. “Now sit up and tell me what you know about Jim Halpert.”
“Fine,” she retorted, moving to sit on the very edge of the couch, her posture raised almost to the point of comical. “What do you mean 'what do I know'?”
“Wow, you know – I had hopes that deep down you were a smart girl. But the simplest of questions are really throwing you tonight, aren't they?”
“I know a lot about Jim Halpert,” she responded testily. “But I'm not going to sit here and rattle off a list of trivia that doesn't mean anything. I want to know what you're getting at.”
“How did he look at you when you were telling him about the importance of sleep in the break room today?”
“I don't know. He probably thought I was insane.”
“Think. How was he looking at you?”
“I don't remember,” she sighed.
“You don't remember because you weren't paying attention,” he told her. “You think you know what's going on around you, but in reality you know nothing at all.”
House tapped the tip of his cane against his foot as Pam sat in silence. What did he want her to say? She paid attention – especially when it came to Jim. She had no choice, really. He was like a magnet that kept drawing her in. She knew every time he got up from his desk, noticed every time he drank a bottle of water, even watched when Karen came over to plan their evening together or simply show him some affection. All she seemed to do anymore what pay attention to him.
She looked up to see that he was watching her intently. “What?” She said, feeling defensive.
House sighed again, and sat up in his chair. “Here, pass me the remote,” he said almost wearily. “I was hoping I wouldn't have to reach into my bag of tricks so soon, but apparently you enjoy being difficult.”
She handed him the television remote. She wasn't sure what time it was, but she knew it was pretty late. What could be on that he'd want her to see – an infomercial for putting your love live on course? Maybe if she ordered now they'd throw in the Ginsu knives as a free gift.
It took her a minute to recognize the people on the screen. Then she did a double take. “What is this?” She demanded.
“I would think you'd recognize yourself,” House replied disparagingly. “That's you, see? And that tall, skinny, good-looking guy who looks surprisingly like me? That's Jim. And I think --” he added, leaning toward the television, “that's you talking to him today in the break room.”
“I know that,” she sniped back. “How in the world did you get us on film?”
House waved his hand dismissively. “Can't say. Non-disclosure agreement and all that.”
Pam looked at him as if he had grown a second head.
“Don't worry about it. You'll find out eventually.” He pointed his cane at the set. “Pay attention to Jim this time, okay?”
Pam watched that morning's awkward conversation play out, cringing in embarrassment even more than she had at the time it happened. Jim must truly be convinced she'd an idiot. He was probably happy he made a break for it when he did.
House paused the screen as Jim walked out of the break room. “So what did you notice this time?”
“He seemed about as awkward as I was?” It was more of a question than a statement, really. She couldn't see anything that stood out and said he really wanted to be with her, nothing in the way of encouragement to open her heart up.
House shook his head, disappointed. He pressed a button and the screen flipped back to the beginning of their conversation. “Let's watch again, shall we?”
“How did you do that?” Pam knew he had the television remote, not the vcr.
“Magic,” he said snidely. “And you're missing the point, Beesly.”
“Sorry.”
“Now this time ignore your babbling and focus on him. What is he doing while you're talking? Where is he looking? It's not about what he said, but what didn't he say?”
He played the loop two more times as Pam kept her eyes glued on Jim. She hadn't noticed the almost hopeful-sounding pitch to his voice when he first greeted her. She hadn't noticed how his eyes never seemed to leave her face, except when he talked about Karen, and how talking about Karen make him stiffen up slightly. Like he really didn't like talking about Karen to her. But it wasn't that, exactly, she thought. She couldn't quite put her finger on it though.
“Can I see it again?” She asked as the third viewing ended.
“Paying attention now, are we?”
Pam stuck her tongue out at him. “I'm trying.”
House was about to reset the loop but then put the remote down. “Why did you follow him in there?”
“I wasn't --” Pam stopped and corrected herself mid-sentence. “I saw how weird Karen was acting and I wanted to know what was going on, if anything.”
“And did you expect he was just going to pour out his heart to you?”
“I don't know – no, no I guess not. But I just wanted to talk to him. I never get to talk to him anymore.”
House walked over to the wall and wrote another word inside the circle: desperate. He started the loop and sat back down. Pam didn't even argue with his newest symptom. She knew how true it was.
Finally on the fourth viewing she noticed something new. When Jim mentioned he and Karen had been up talking, he made a face she hadn't seen in a long time. It was what she used to refer to as the 'help me' face – the widened eyes, the clenched smile he used to make when Michael or Dwight had caught him in a situation he wanted freed from. All he had to do was make that face and Pam knew to announce that a business call had come in for him. She wondered if he'd even knew he'd done it today.
“You can turn it off,” she said softly. “I get your point.”
He did and dropped the remote with a thud on the coffee table. “So what do you do?”
She shrugged and leaned back into the couch cushions. “I guess I just pay more attention when he talks to me. Try to make the most of times when he's being almost friendly.”
“Lame.”
“What?”
“What's that going to do, Beesly? Get you back on his Christmas card list? That's the same passive crap you've been perfecting since he's come back. What are you going to do?”
Pam put her head in her hands for a moment. She was feeling so drained from all of this. “I don't know. I never know when I'll have a moment alone with him anymore.”
House tapped his cane on the floor a few times, then rested his head against it. “So you're saying that if you already knew of a situation where you'd be alone with him, you'd know what to do?”
“Like I'd have time to plan what I'd say and know I wouldn't be interrupted?”
“Eh, something like that. Maybe.”
“I don't know. I wouldn't even know what to say.”
House got up and wrote another word on the wall: Excuses.
“It's true!” She cried.
He leaned heavily on his cane, his head bowed for a few moments. “Okay, right. I was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to fire up the big tricks, but it's pretty clear you have no intention of doing things the easy way.”
“I would if I knew how.”
“What if you could relive today? Would you know what to do then?”
“I guess – but that's about as possible as --”
“As a television character lecturing you in your living room?”
“But....how?”
“Don't worry about how. Worry about sounding a little less asinine this time.”
He was fumbling for something in the pocket of his jeans when Pam started to feel slightly dizzy and a little panicky. He wasn't serious about having her relive the whole day, was he?
Before she could say anything else, she felt as if she was going to faint, and closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, she was seated at her desk at work, and the time on the clock behind her said nine-thirty. She was dressed in the same clothes she'd worn earlier, and so was everyone else. She watched as Karen got up out of her chair and walked around to Jim, hugging him around the neck just like she'd done earlier that day.
House wasn't kidding. She was reliving her work day.
“Oh boy,” she sighed.
Chapter End Notes:
Bonus points if you recognize where I stole that closing line from...!
