I scurried around the living room, stopping occasionally to rearrange the pillows on the sofa for the hundredth time before finally sitting for the first time in an hour. But I really couldn't quite keep still. I bent forward to grab my daughter and pull her onto my lap. Maybe she could keep me busy for the next few agonizing minutes.

"Laney!" I squealed eagerly, bouncing the baby on my knee, "Daddy will be home any minute! Are you excited?"

Alaina's little eyebrows raised in confusion, a sound that resembled “Daddy?” gurgled out from behind her pink pacifier.

"Yeah, you remember him, right?"

Jim had been gone for two weeks. Two. It was the longest we'd been apart in at least a year and needless to say I was going crazy. He'd called from the airport an hour before. He usually drove on the quick side, so by my logic he was going to walk in the door very soon. Alaina and I had been trying to distract ourselves with a Baby Einstein marathon. It had worked much better for her though. I was so jumpy I felt like I could run a marathon. I just couldn't wait for Jim to get home so I could hug him and kiss him and…yeah, that other stuff.

Oh! Is that the garage door? Oh God, Oh God…why am I so excited? Just stand up Pam, oh and hold onto your child tightly and try not to drop her…yikes.

"Hey! I'm back!" Jim called, stepping into the kitchen. He was setting his suitcase down when I saw it. Thick, dark and messy.

Oh holy God, what is that?

He gave me a crazy look. I must've said it out loud. I was standing completely frozen behind the couch, Alaina on my hip, my jaw stuck to the floor.

I just blurted out, "Why?"

Jim was still grinning in excitement. "Why what?"

"The beard."

"Oh yeah, this thing." He rubbed his chin. "You like it?"

"No," I said a little harsher than I'd planned.

"Well, can you say ‘hello’ anyway?"

"Hi," I grumbled as I leaned up to kiss him. I left it at a small peck. The beard tickled and itched my lips even after I'd pulled away.

He stared at me with his hands in his pockets. "That's all I get?" he laughed."I know it's been a little while but this is the part where you usually say, 'Oh I missed you so much! Don't ever leave again! Let's stay in bed until Monday.'"

It was so distracting; I barely registered what he said. "Huh?"

"Can I see my child at least?"

I handed Alaina to him; she looked at him and her eyes went wide. She immediately began to scream and throw herself toward me. I took her back and she buried her head into my neck. I shot up my eyebrows at Jim. "Guess the consensus is that the beard is no good. Sorry Halpert."

He bit his lip like he was thinking really hard. "You really gonna make this a thing?"

I kept my face straight, "Absolutely."

He grabbed the handle of his suitcase. "Alright then, it's on."

I went to put Alaina to bed and found him in our bedroom, wearing nothing but an old pair of pajamas and that beard. He was taking things out of his suitcase and throwing them in a laundry basket. I stood in the doorway a little while, just watching him. He kind of looked like one of those hipster kids I knew in art school- a pair of thick-rimmed glasses and it would have been perfect.

"So, why did you decide to grow a beard? You've never had facial hair in all the years I've known you."

"I forgot my razor."

I rolled my eyes. "You know, in most decent hotels you can get them at the front desk. And last I checked they still sell them in stores."

"Touché."

"I mean, do you really like it?"

He grinned and picked up the basket. "Washer free?"

"I think there might still be towels in the dryer."

"Thanks."

He shimmied past me, making sure to rub his chest on my arm on the way. I watched him all the way down the hall, my eyes still fixed on the beard. I remembered the way it had tickled my face and I started to wonder what it might feel like on my neck, or my stomach…between my thighs.

Stop it, Pam! Stay strong. The beard has to go.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I woke up on Sunday morning much later than usual. The night before had not been a good one. Jim and I had gotten into bed like brothers at a hotel. Sometime in the middle of the night I’d woken tangled familiarly in his arms. My loneliness got the better of me and my hands started wandering. Then I heard him whisper in my ear, “Is this you calling a truce?” I suddenly remembered everything and retreated to my side of the bed. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well.

I tiredly wandered out into the living room to find Jim on the floor with Alaina. She was practicing her wobbly walk toward him, giggling the whole time.

I leaned on the wall. "Looks like someone's opinion about you has changed."

He scooped her up and tickled her tummy as she flailed around. "Guess so."

"Did you give her cookies?"

"No, I wooed her with my impeccable charm"

"You gave her cookies."

"You can't prove anything."

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I spent the rest of the day trying my hardest to ignore Jim, a pretty tough feat in our tiny house. I was kicking myself because I came to realize that if I hadn't made such a big deal he would have gotten rid of it. But Jim Halpert does not back down from challenges, and he usually always wins. I didn't want to ignore him; I just wanted to win the game. And I knew that if I got too close I would just jump his bones and it would all be over. I mean it had been two weeks and I was really losing my self control.

I eventually left and spent my day wandering around the strip mall and the grocery store, trying to pretend I had things to do. I mean, I did have plenty of errands but I was entirely too distracted to get anything done. Up and down every aisle my mind was still on Jim. Maybe all this wasn't worth a stupid beard.

No…it totally is.

I came home around seven with a big bag in my hand from the craft store. I hadn't picked up knitting needles in years but I needed to be distracted, and Alaina could use a new sweater…or two.

Jim was on the couch and Alaina was passed out on his shoulder. "Hey, she's already had dinner and all that. So I'm gonna put her down." He whispered, "I guess playing with her new favorite parent is really tiring."

"Oh, okay," I said as casually as possible. I sat down with my bag on the couch just as he got up. They started down the hallway but Jim turned around.

"So, listen…"

Oh, great. Cast on 36. Don't look at him.

"I don't think I'll be gone that long again."

He really had been gone too long by my standards. He was great at his new position and traveling and being out of the office made him happier than I'd seen him in awhile.

Concentrate. Knit two, purl two. Listen Pam, don't look. He looks so precious holding your baby. You really know my weaknesses Halpert. Focus. Focus.

"Really? Why's that?" It didn't sound as casual as I wanted.

"Well, I just talked to Wallace yesterday about how guilty I feel leaving you guys all the time." He sighed heavily and I heard him kiss Alaina's head. "So, we agreed no trips longer than three days. Which means I'll have to be in the office a bit more, and we may have to tighten our belts a little. I think it was a good choice though."

I was completely silent and I'd stopped fumbling with the needles. I'd forgotten about the grudge completely, but I wasn't sure how to process what I'd just heard.

"Well, I'm gonna get this one off to bed. ”I heard him padding back down the hall.

I was struggling with the tricky part of what was supposed to be a sleeve when I heard Jim come back. He leaned over the back of the couch and nuzzled my neck. Something was different. I turned around to find Jim clean-shaven and grinning.

I reached out to run my hand down his cheek, "You shaved." I said softly.

Jim raised his eyebrows and came around to sit with me. "I figured it was the only way I'd get you to talk to me."

"Jim, you love your job." It was all I could manage to say.

He smiled. "But I love you much more."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I just feel like I've been a bad husband and dad. I got so focused on taking care of my girls that I forgot I needed to spend time with you, too." He leaned over and kissed my temple. "And besides, it's not permanent. I can get my ass back on a plane the second I get sick of you again."

"I'm really sorry I ignored you."

"No, it's fine. I didn't really like it. I was just enjoying driving you nuts."

I kissed him and all the tension I'd been holding for two weeks melted away.

"I'm not gonna lie. I was kind of learning to like the beard."

He pulled me into his lap. "Well, I could always grow it back, you know."

"Oh, God no. Please don't."

He smiled and held me tighter, "Whatever you say, Beesly."