Do you ever think about what we had?
And how you'd give anything to get it back?
Do you ever think you'll never love that way again?
Jim stared out of the window of his apartment. Most of the people from the office had already come and gone, Kevin, Oscar, Kelly, Toby, Stanley, Creed and Meredith. There was one group missing. Kelly had made sure to let him know that Phyllis, Bob, and Pam had left late and were stuck in bad traffic. Oh, and Roy wasn't coming. For some reason Jim had smiled when he heard this news. It didn't have anything to do with Pam, of course. He and Roy had never been friends, and knowing him he just would have gotten drunk and caused trouble. Jim closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that any minute now he would be seeing Pam again. It was harder to picture her face now, but he remembered exactly how she looked the last time he'd seen her, from her hair to that blue dress she was wearing. Karen was off doing some stuff with her bridesmaids, getting manicures or whatever it was that girls did before one of them got married. Jim was glad he got this little bit of time to see his old friends by himself, because ever since his little confession last night, Karen wasn't exactly thrilled with him and would probably get the wrong idea by seeing him talking to Pam. Or any girl from the office for that matter. When he finally opened his eyes again, he saw a car pulling into the lot. He recognized who was behind the wheel right away, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. That could only mean one thing...
And suddenly, there she was. Her hair was different, he noticed that right off. It was still curly, but the curls where bigger now, looser, and just tucked behind her ears instead of always clipped back the way he had always known her. She stepped out of the car and said something to Phyllis, then laughed. God, how he had missed that laugh. A few minutes later they were all at his door. He hugged Phyllis and Bob, then there was only one person left. They locked eyes for a minute, both unsure of what to do next. Then Pam smiled and decided for them. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them and pulled him in for a hug.
“Hi Jim,” She said. That was all. One hug and two words was all it took for him to remember everything he used to love about her. Really love too, not just liked as he tried to pretend now that it was over. He held her close for just a minute longer, that was all he got seeing as he was going to be a married man by tomorrow.
“Hi Pam.” He pulled away first, and they just smiled at each other before Bob interrupted their little moment.
“So Jim, where's the Mrs.?”
“Oh, Karen, she's out with some friends. She's really excited to meet you all though.”
“So are you going to see her before tomorrow?” Phyllis asked, clearly getting excited for the wedding which Jim was suddenly dreading more and more.
“Yeah, well, there's the rehearsal dinner tonight.” He was speaking to Phyllis, but his eyes kept wandering back to Pam. “So what are you guys up to tonight?”
“I don't know, we'll probably just stay at the hotel. Maybe go out for dinner,” Phyllis replied.
“Actually, we should go check in to the hotel now,” Bob Vance told his wife, who nodded.
“OK, well it was good seeing you again. I'll talk to you at the wedding tomorrow?” Jim waved as Bob and Phyllis left, then he turned around to see Pam still standing there.
“Yeah, I should get going too,” She said, digging through her purse. “I'm staying at a different hotel, so I just need to call a cab or something.”
“Don't waste your money, I'll drive you.”
“Seriously?” Pam asked, finally looking up to meet his eyes.
“Sure. Do you need to go back right now or can we stop and grab a coffee first?”
“We can get a coffee.” As Pam followed Jim out of his apartment though, she began to feel slightly guilty. Could this be considered a date? Obviously it wasn't, just two old friends catching up. Roy would see it as a date, he would be furious if he knew Pam was going out for coffee, alone, with Jim. She wondered if Jim's fiancé, who's name she now knew was Karen, would mind if she knew that he was with her.
“So how've you been?” He asked once they got into his car.
“Pretty good. I'm thinking about taking another art class this summer.”
“Oh, cool. So where's Roy?” Jim's question caught Pam off guard a little bit. She knew where he really was, on the couch, probably already drunk, but she told everyone else that he was sick.
“He doesn't really do weddings,” She told him. She was never a good liar, period, but Jim was always especially good at seeing through her lies.
“Oh.” A slightly awkward silence followed as Jim pulled into the parking lot of a little coffee shop.
“So. Your fiancé. What's she like?” Pam asked, after they had settled into a table and placed their orders.
“Karen? She's... well you'll meet her tomorrow. She's... great.” How could he describe Karen? Anything that would come to mind didn't work. Pam was funnier, Pam was prettier, Pam was everything that he wanted. How had he forgotten that? How was he supposed to get married tomorrow when he was so clearly in love with someone else? Three years, he was realizing, didn't make him get over her, it just made him forget. “Pam-” he started, but was cut off by a loud burst of laughter by the door. Over Pam's shoulder he could see a group of women walking in. One of them kind of looked like Karen's sister.
“Jim?” They saw each other at the same time. Karen walked over to his table, looking confused. “What are you doing here? I thought-” She stopped as Pam turned around and smiled at her.
“Hi!” She said warmly, offering her hand. “I'm Pam. I used to work with Jim back in Scranton. He was about to drive me to my hotel, but I was starving so he offered to take me here first.” Jim watched the color drain from Karen's face.
“You're Pam?” Pam nodded, and Karen forced a smile before extending her own hand. “I'm Karen. Jim's fiancé. He's not the best with introductions.” She then looked over Pam to shoot Jim a look. “Well I've got to get back to my friends, but it was nice meeting you.” Without saying another word, she turned and walked back to her friends, leading them outside.
“What was that?” Pam asked Jim, “She seemed like she knew about me.”
“I told her I used to have feelings for you. She freaked out a little. No big deal, that's just how she is.”
“But that was a long time ago, right? I mean your crush. That was like three years ago.” Pam chuckled a little, like it was a joke, but neither of them really found it funny.
“It wasn't that long ago. Actually,” he paused here to clear his throat. “I think I still might...”
“Jim.” Pam cut him off. “Don't do this. Please.”
“Pam, come on. That night in the office. You said you wanted it too. Don't tell me you just forgot that.”
“I didn't forget,” She fired back defensively. “I'm married. You're going to be by tomorrow. I shouldn't have even come here.” Pam stood up and grabbed her bag.
“Pam, wait.” Jim stood up too, but she was already heading for the door and pulling out her cell phone.
“I'll call a cab, don't worry about me.” The door fell shut behind her, and Jim was left to watch her walk away.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali