Acts of Kindness
by Steph with help from Holly
Summary: She needs a vacation and he needs some company. And they both kind of need a friend. After Goodbye Toby.
It's a Kelly/Toby fic with smut. I however could not write smut if my life depended on it so that's where Holly comes in.
I wrote a ficlet awhile ago called Going Away Present: http://foodygoody.livejournal.com/9189.html#cutid1 that works as sort of a prologue, but it's not necessary to read.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: R to NC-17.
Thank you first of all for Holly for writing a wonderful smut scene for me, betaing and most of all, for not laughing at me for shipping these two or for having a little crush on Paul L. Thank you to anyone else who gives this a chance and reads this. I know it might be a tough sell.
---
He knew he should try to sleep on the flight to Costa Rica, but he was way too wired. He tried to read his book, to rest, but he couldn’t. His eyes darted around the plane as he came up with plans and to do lists.
This wasn’t just some trip; this was going to change everything. He was going to completely change his personality. He was going to relax, to be happy.
Some mornings he would wake up early and sit on the sand to watch the sunrise; other mornings he wouldn’t wake up until noon. He would eat healthier, drink tea instead of coffee. He would run every morning, swim or surf every day. He wouldn’t wear suits anymore; he would wear T-shirts and shorts. Trunks. Sandals.
He would read all the great books he had missed over the years. He would write too. He always wanted to write the Great American Novel and now he would have the time. Or maybe he’d attempt poetry. Haikus.
Haikus about the ocean. Five, seven, five.
He would meditate too. Find inner peace. Learn the right way to breathe.
These last few years Toby had forgotten how to breathe.
He would only listen to relaxing music. Like Jack Johnson. A friend had once recommended Jack Johnson to Toby and he liked him. Jack Johnson was a surfer, which might inspire him. And Jack Johnson seemed pretty mellow. Toby hoped that would inspire him too.
In Costa Rica, Toby would transform into someone completely different. Someone happier, someone people couldn’t help but like.
Someone who was the complete opposite of who Toby was now.
Which was good. Toby couldn’t stand the way he was now.
When the flight attendant asked him if he wanted anything to drink, he asked, with a smile, for some herbal tea.
Let the transformation begin.
--
Kelly didn’t think that Holly liked her. Which sucked because they had to sit by each other in the annex and Kelly wanted them to become friends. Maybe even best friends. Pam used to be her best friend at work, but now she only wanted to be around Jim. Now who was Kelly supposed to be best friends with? Angela?
Yeah right. Angela was too mean and she told Kelly she dressed and acted inappropriately.
Whatever.
Holly seemed nice enough at first and it was so sad, because she was kind of cute in a plain way and would look so good if she did her hair and wore more makeup. She’d be even cuter if she wore colors instead of her boring gray suits with too long skirts. Everyone looked better when they wore brighter colors.
Kelly had once tried to tell Toby this. She had been getting annoyed by his plain white and light yellow shirts and ugly brown suits. She sat down with him and pulled out a catalog (although Kelly loved internet shopping there was something kind of cool about catalogs too. They were so olden times). She pointed out the male models wearing rich colors, midnight blues and forest greens that would look good with his pale coloring. She told him that wearing colors would make him happy. He didn’t seem to believe her.
One day he wore a blue shirt, not as deep as she would have liked, but at least he was trying. By the end of the day, Michael had told Toby that he was the ugliest person in the world and she overheard a conversation he had with his ex that sounded really stressful. The next day he had worn another boring white shirt.
She had tried.
And she was trying with Holly, telling her what colors she should wear and all the gossip around the office. She told her all about her favorite celebrities and how much she and Darryl were in love and he would probably be proposing soon and Holly could definitely come to the wedding and she’d invite everyone except Ryan. Because Ryan was in JAIL!!! She said that part with a giggle, but not too much, because she didn’t want Holly thinking she was a total bitch.
But Holly always seemed to want to work or talk to Michael or Pam or even stupid Kevin. She never wanted to talk to Kelly. Well that was fine, because Kelly didn’t want to talk to Holly either.
She was bored though with no one to talk to. Darryl was always super busy in the warehouse so he didn’t come up much. She stared at her computer. She guessed she could do work.
No. She didn’t feel like doing that.
Maybe she’d email Toby.
--
His condo wasn’t huge. One main room with the kitchen off to the side, a bedroom with just enough room for the bed and an even smaller bathroom. It didn’t matter though. It was on the beach and he could hear the ocean at night, ready to lull him to sleep. And he loved surfing.
He was really awkward at first, uncoordinated and timid and out-of-practice, but he was able to improve. Slightly.
He was so far away from his old job. He was far away from Michael and his insults, far away from the overwhelming happiness of Jim and Pam and how it had somehow turned his simple, foolish but harmless unrequited crush into a full-on trip to Crazy Town, Population One.
He thought about that now, his actions over the last year, and it made him shudder in disgust and self-loathing. He had once been the reasonable, sane one at that place. What had happened to him?
Something like what had happened to Jan he guessed.
He tried not to dwell on it too much, but it was hard not to think about. He thought about it while he was running on the beach, or staring at the blank word processing document on his laptop trying to think of the brilliant opening line of his novel. Or poem. Or haiku.
Five, seven, five.
He tried to breathe more deeply, to drink more tea, to turn up Jack Johnson just a little bit louder and it worked sometimes, but not always and he wondered how he could be in this beautiful place, this place that he had dreamed of for so long, and still be so unhappy.
He clicked out of the word document and onto email, hoping for something from his ex or his daughter, but found only spam and... Huh. An email from Kelly?
Hi Toby! Remember that picture we took? Can you please send it to me? I looked so cute and I want to put it on my MySpace page. Oh yeah. Hope you’re having an awesome time and getting tan and have a girlfriend. Love, Kelly
PS - Holly sucks and doesn’t like me.
He looked down at his legs, still ghostly white except for a few discolored patches from a faded, painful sunburn and an ugly purple-black bruise from surfing. Nope. No tan. Kelly’s other hope for him - a girlfriend - was almost comical. Sweet and optimistic, but still comical.
He stood up when he heard the whistle of the teakettle. He would reply to her email later.
It was teatime.
--
Two days later, Kelly received an email from Toby.
Kelly,
Here’s the picture you wanted. Sorry to hear about Holly. Hope you’re doing well otherwise. Say hello to Darryl for me.
Toby
The attached photo was just as awesome as she remembered. She looked really hot. Toby looked sort of depressed and confused and tired all at the same time.
Like he usually looked.
She walked out of the annex to find Pam and ask for her opinion of the photo, but Pam was standing with Jim and they had a crowd around them.
“What’s going on?” Kelly asked.
Pam looked up. Her smile stretched across her whole face. “We’re engaged!”
“It’s so exciting,” Phyllis said.
Kelly grinned and hugged Pam, shrieking. “Oh my god!! I am so, so happy for you! When is it? What kind of dress are you getting? Where are you going to honeymoon? Can I be a bridesmaid?”
“Well...”
After getting all the romantic details (swoon!), she went back to the annex feeling excited. It was her and Darryl’s anniversary next week and she had a feeling that Pam and Jim weren’t the only ones who would have exciting news to share.
---
He didn’t know the exact moment he realized his plan to become a whole new person wasn’t working. Maybe it was the second night in a row that he couldn’t sleep; maybe it was when he played a two minute voicemail message from his daughter over and over again, his heart breaking every time she said, “Bye bye.”
All the tea and relaxing music and physical activity in the world wouldn’t make him into less of a failure.
He had an email that day from Kelly.
God, I’m so bored! Holly is soooo boring. And I think she thinks Michael is hot. Which... ew!!! Thank you for sending me that photo. It’s on my page now. We had another stupid meeting today and there’s a party later! OMG - I forgot to tell you! Jim and Pam are ENGAGED!! Isn’t that exciting? I’m so happy for them! I think Pam’s going to ask me to be a bridesmaid. That would be awesome. But I’ve saved the best news of all for last. Darryl and I are having our anniversary soon and I know he’s totally going to propose. You’ll come to our wedding, right? Please, Toby, you so have to. I’ll put you sooooo far away from Michael. Promise! Love ya~Kelly
Pam and Jim were engaged. It was inevitable he supposed. He never had a shot in hell with Pam, he knew. He was just the loser who sat in the back who felt the need to make a fool out of himself in her presence. What had ever made him think she’d even look his way when she had Jim?
He’d even choose Jim over himself given the chance.
Now feeling completely miserable, he wrote a quick response to Kelly (which he would regret later) and grabbed his surfboard and tried not to think about the fact that everyone in the world - Jim and Pam, Kelly and Darryl, his ex and her new husband - seemed to be happy and paired off.
Everyone but him.
It was another thing he had failed at.
--
Kelly took a break from perusing wedding dresses online to check her email. She had a new one from Toby.
Thank you for the update. Please congratulate Jim and Pam for me. And congratulations in advance to you and Darryl. I would be honored to attend your wedding, provided I haven’t jumped off a cliff before then.
Kelly reread it, regretting telling Toby about Jim and Pam. She shouldn’t have said anything.
Toby had a big crush on Pam. Poor guy. It sucked to hear that someone you liked was engaged. She hoped that when Ryan heard the news in jail that she and Darryl were engaged, he’d be sad too. She wrote back:
You better not jump off a cliff!!! That would suck. And so what if she’s engaged? Go find some hot girl so I can come to your wedding! :) And it could be worse. You could totally be in jail.
And then she sent some links of the Jolie-Pitt family photo spread from People, because it made her happy. Maybe it would make him happy too.
--
The photos of Brad and Angelina and all their kids did not make him happy. He clicked through the spread feeling his heart sink at the pictures of Brad and his kids. Brad would not abandon his children just because he hated himself and his life. Brad, unlike Toby, was not a failure of a father.
Once, a long time ago, he had not been a failure. And he had proof.
Toby went through his photo files until he found one to attach for Kelly. It was a picture taken about eight years ago and one of his favorites. He marveled briefly at the amount of hair on his head compared to now. He was cradling a baby Sasha (cuter than any Jolie or Pitt child in his opinion), staring at her with this combination of fear and wonder and adoration.
The good old days. When he could see Sasha whenever he wanted.
If he had stayed in Scranton, he would have been able to see her every other weekend. What the hell had he been thinking coming here?
After emailing Kelly the photo, he decided to take a chance. It was not the time he was scheduled to talk to Sasha, but maybe she was home. Maybe her mother would be in an understanding mood and let him talk to her. His ex had let the custody battle go too far, but she really was, deep down, a good person. Maybe he’d get lucky.
The phone rang a couple of times before the answering machine came on. His ex said in a cheery voice, “You’ve reached the Beckers. Leave a message.”
He hung up the phone without leaving a message.
It figured.
Toby never got lucky.
--
Kelly got the email from Toby just as she was leaving for the day. Part of her was curious what he had to say (probably gushing about the awesomeness of the Jolie-Pitts), but the anniversary dinner was tonight so she just forwarded it to read later. Not tonight obviously, because they’d be celebrating, but tomorrow maybe.
Darryl took her to this really awesome restaurant, all small and cozy and romantic. And she waited for the proposal, the ring. She waited while Darryl told her a stupid story about the warehouse and Michael and why did he think she’d want to talk about Michael? Gross.
“So,” she interrupted, because she was getting impatient. “How cool is it that Pam and Jim are engaged?”
Darryl shrugged. “Yeah.”
“JIm proposed because he was so madly in love with her.” She batted her eyes at Darryl. “Like you are with me.”
“Am I?” Darryl asked, smiling at her.
Was he kidding? “Yes!” Kelly said. “You are. And when people are in love they get married and have lots and lots of babies!”
Darryl didn’t say anything, only reached for the bread basket. She sighed loudly.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said frowning. Things weren’t going the way she thought they would.
“Look,” Darryl said. “I’m not ready to get married. And the whole babies thing...”
“I’m pregnant,” Kelly said, placing her hand on her stomach.
“No,” Darryl said. “You’re not. You had two of those large girly drinks and you’re not that stupid.”
She took her hand off her stomach. “Either you propose to me,” Kelly said, squeaking a little, “or we’re breaking up.”
These kind of things always worked.
“You really want to give me that ultimatum?” Darryl asked. “Really?”
“Yes!”
“Okay,” he said. “If that’s how you want it.”
She smiled. This was going to be so awesome. She would tell everyone on Monday, maybe embellish it a little, make the details more romantic. It was still early. They could still go ring shopping tonight.
He did not get down on one knee and propose to her she hoped he would. Instead, like Ryan Howard before him, he dumped her ass.
--
He didn’t hear from Kelly. He had thought maybe he would get an email about the picture of Sasha. Kelly loved babies. But no. No emails from his ex or his daughter or Kelly.
People were starting to forget him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
He tried to be social. Went to different bars and restaurants and smiled at people and complimented the food, the drinks in decent Spanish. But he was still pretty shy and after the compliments and some awkward small talk about the weather, he really had nothing else to say.
He kept busy and wrote and did some computer work for extra income and listened to music and drank cup after cup of tea.
But the transformation didn’t seem to be working.
--
Kelly cried all night Friday and most of the weekend and by Monday morning at work her eyes were practically swollen shut. She told Pam and Jim everything, crying some more, but they were still in happy, engaged mode and not very sympathetic. Holly asked that afternoon if Kelly could maybe excuse herself to the women’s room or possibly take a personal day, because she had this important presentation to prepare for and it was hard to concentrate.
Whatever. Kelly opened her email and remembered that Toby had sent her something. She blinked a few times and opened the attachment to like the most wonderful picture ever.
The picture was of Toby, younger and happier, smiling in such a serene way, cradling his beautiful baby daughter. Some day she would find a guy (not a loser like Ryan or Darryl) who would want to have babies with her and would look at their baby that way.
Her eyes began to well up again and that was before she read what Toby had written.
My beautiful daughter. Picture taken circa eight years ago, the blissful time before I failed at everything.
She started crying again. She heard Holly sigh loudly.
Whatever.
--
He shouldn’t have sent Kelly that picture. Too personal and that email message... That was really inappropriate to send to an ex-coworker. She was probably embarrassed. It was one thing to be bad at conversing with someone face-to-face. Now he couldn’t even email without getting all weird.
When she finally did email him, it was not what he expected.
Toby, I have the worst news for you. Darryl and I broke up. I thought he was going to propose to me like Jim did to Pam, but he didn’t and instead he broke up with me and I’ve been crying all weekend and it’s like the worst thing ever and Holly is not nice and she keeps sighing and getting annoyed and it’s like wow I’m so sorry I got my heart smashed into little pieces and that it’s interfering with your non-exciting life. I really thought Darryl and I were going to get married and have lots of babies and I already had some names picked out. Serena after Gossip Girl. Lauren like Lauren Conrad who’s awesome. Or maybe Vivienne like the Brangelina baby. Lauren Vivienne Serena Kapoor Philbin. And now I’m not getting married or anything and I have no one and I just want to punch Darryl in the face. Hard. Or beg him to get back together. And no one here even cares that I keep crying because they’re all so happy about Jim and Pam which sucks. Holly’s looking at me now because I’m crying again. Anyway thank you so much for sending me that picture because Sasha is so beautiful!!! And you look so happy to have a baby. I want to have a baby! Oh God. Holly’s going to get Michael. Email me back something to cheer me up. No more depressing crap. Seriously. - Kelly
--
Toby skimmed through her email. He felt bad for her, he really did. He knew it was like to be blindsided by a breakup. But Kelly would find someone else soon. She was pretty. She was social and friendly. She was in such a better position than he was.
And she wanted him to cheer her up. He was the one who needed cheering up.
He didn’t say that to her in his email, instead he wrote:
Sorry to hear about your breakup. They’re always tough. But you’re tough too - tougher than I am.
Which was very true. Then again most people were tougher than he was. He was a wimp, someone who instead of standing up to Michael, instead of fighting harder for custody, instead of asking Pam out while she was actually single (not that he had a chance, but it would have been something for him to ask), retreated or sulked.
He wanted to say more to Kelly, but didn’t know what. He was in no position to say anything to anybody about anything.
He hit send and wished someone would send him an encouraging email.
He stood up and walked to a coffeehouse and ordered the strongest drink available.
He was so done with tea.
---
Kelly was doing better. She went shopping and bought some really cute clothes and some new lip gloss. So what if that loser Darryl broke up with her? She could do so much better.
Oh sure, sometimes she burst into tears at work and sometimes she lay under her desk and ignored the phone calls when she was feeling down, but all in all she was doing better.
Toby’s email to her was so sweet and she would repeat it to herself when she was feeling really upset. “I’m tough,” she would say to herself, over and over again until Holly would ask her to please keep it down. Sometimes she would add things to her mantra. “I’m tough and I’m hot and I’m awesome.” Sometimes it worked.
She looked at the picture Toby sent of him and Sasha again and reread his message about failing at everything. That was so sad. In between crying jags, she wrote:
Thank you for your email. I am TOUGH! And AWESOME. Why did you say in your picture that you failed at everything? That’s stupid. Stop emailing me stupid things!!!!
That done, she went into the women’s restroom to redo her eye makeup. All better. She should go back to her desk. She had some more shopping to do.
--
Toby was not in a good mood when he received Kelly’s email that day. He hadn’t been sleeping and hadn’t been too careful with the sunscreen and already his face and neck were feeling tight and sore. And the last time he had called to talk to Sasha she wasn’t feeling well (sore throat) and didn’t feel up to talking. He told her that he loved her and hoped she would feel better, but she just sounded so sleepy and finally just said, “I have to go, Dad. My mouth hurts bad.”
When he hung up the phone he was pissed. Not at her obviously or even at his ex (who sounded apologetic when she told him to call back in two days). He was only pissed with himself for not being around to bring her popsicles and coloring books, stickers and ice cream.
So when he got Kelly’s email it rubbed him the wrong way just a little bit and instead of promising not to send her any more stupid things, he wrote something much more honest. Part of him knew this was getting way too personal with someone who didn’t care, but the need to vent to anyone was just too overwhelming.
Why did I say I failed at everything? Because I did. I stayed too long at a job that was slowly killing me. I’m divorced and my ex is happy and I’m not. I let inappropriate feelings for a coworker affect my work and my sanity. Oh and I fled the country leaving my daughter, whom I love more than anything. And I’m in this perfect, beautiful place and I’m still sort of miserable. So yeah. I‘m failing big time.
He hit send and then wrote two long overdue emails to Pam and Jim, sending his congratulations and apologizing for everything.
The email from Kelly a few hours later was written entirely in a pink font that made his head hurt. She said that she’d write more later because she was going out with a friend, but for now she had some links for him to check out.
The links advertised various antidepressants (some already quite familiar to him). Kelly’s P.S., under the links, told him her recommendations for which ones he should take, because some of them came in prettier colors and some had sexual side effects and he shouldn’t take those because he needed to find a girlfriend.
Reading the email and P.S., he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
--
Kelly’s friend Lacy, who was kind of a slut but still pretty cool, was in town so the two of them went out drinking. They were both single and hot so they made eye contact with all the cute boys and got lots and lots of free drinks.
Kelly was flirting with some totally hot guy with a great smile when Lacy nudged her. “Isn’t that your ex?”
Kelly’s first thought was Lacy was talking about Ryan, who was in jail obviously, but when she looked Lacy’s way she saw Darryl talking to some redheaded chick who wasn’t even that pretty.
Oh. This wouldn’t do at all!
“Who’s he talking to?” Lacy asked. “She’s so ugly.”
Lacy was kind of a slut, but she was so sweet too.
“Thanks,” Kelly said. She was just forming a plan about how to get back at Darryl. Maybe she could tell him that she was pregnant (for real this time) or tell the redhead all kinds of bad stories about him, but she was feeling kind of woozy and Darryl and the girl left before she could get her bearings.
She and Lacy were both pretty drunk which was kind of fun until Lacy left with some guy she just met. Kelly sighed to herself and took a cab home.
She felt dizzy and a little nauseous and both depressed and happy at the same time. Weird.
She collapsed on her couch for a little bit and when everything stopped spinning she remembered through her haze that she was supposed to email Toby back. She made it to her computer and wrote and wrote, went to the bathroom and then returned and wrote some more. After she hit send, she stumbled to bed.
The next morning, hungover and sad, she went back to her computer. She vaguely remembered emailing Toby last night but didn’t remember what she had written.
“Oh,” Kelly said rereading her email to him. “Oh no.”
She quickly wrote him another email telling him not to read the first one.
--
When someone sends you two emails, the second one telling you not to read the first one... well how could you not read the first one?
God, Toby. Shut up about Pam already. She’s so not worth it. Take some medication and go out on the beach and meet some woman. Don’t be shy or dorky about it. You’re smart and some girls like smart guys. And you’re sweet when you’re not acting weird. And you’re cute in your own way. I always thought that even though you’re old. And if you had a better wardrobe I’d even say you’re maybe very cute. I shouldn’t have said that about Pam, because Ryan and Darryl both wanted to date me so I don’t know what it’s like to have someone not even like you enough for that, but I do know about getting my heart broken. Stupid Darryl and his stupid redheaded skank. I wish I had never gone out with him. Maybe I should have hooked up with you, Toby. That way I wouldn’t have been with stupid Darryl and you wouldn’t have been all crazy around Pam. I think it could have been awesome because we were all alone in the annex and no one ever came down there and we could have totally had sex on my desk without anyone knowing. That would have been hot and romantic, right Toby? I mean everyone would have been in a stupid meeting or something and we could have had some secret signal or something and you would kiss me and it would be all sweet at first, but then it would be more sexy and everything like in the movies. And then you could have looked into my eyes and then kissed my neck and the first thing I would do is take off your stupid brown jacket because really Toby? It’s so ugly. Sorry. But not really. And you’d say my name all softly because you talk really softly all the time but this would be in a hot way and you’d tell me I was gorgeous and then we’d move all my stuff on my desk out of the way and this time I’d be kissing you passionately and then you could put those weird huge ass hands of yours on my - OH wait. Hold on. Okay I’m back. I had so much to drink tonight and I had to throw up a little. Gross! Okay I have to go to bed. Head hurts. TTYL. -- Kelly :)
Toby closed his eyes just for a second and then opened them again. He decided to respond to that later, because he also had emails from Pam and Jim. Jim’s said he accepted his apology and hoped Toby was doing well in Costa Rica.
Yeah, Jim. He was doing really well in Costa Rica.
Pam’s email said she was glad to hear from him and she accepted the apology, but she didn’t really understand what he was so contrite about. She told him that he was definitely invited to the wedding.
She was sweet. Good people, he thought to himself. Jim and Pam were good people. Good, solid people who deserved the happiness and love they found.
Some people found love and some people did not. It was the way the world worked. And he just unfortunately happened to be in the second group.
He was always in that second group.
Okay. Kelly. How was he supposed to respond to that?
You’ll be happy to know I gave away most of my suits to Goodwill. Hope you’re feeling better. Keep hydrated.
He didn’t acknowledge the more... uh...intimate content of her email. She was intoxicated. But still it was flattering to hear that there was someone (even if that someone was intoxicated) who thought he was smart, sweet and cute in his own way. Very cute if he got rid of his wardrobe. He really needed to hear things like that every once in awhile.
And the second part of her email where she was describing what would happen if they had decided to be amorous in the annex...
That was just... He’d have to think about this more.
He didn’t delete the email.
--
Monday morning Kelly was just beginning to feel more like herself again. She said a friendly hello to Holly and got a friendly hello in return. Cool. She went into the break room to get some coffee when she spotted Darryl. Talking to Pam and Jim.
Her eyes narrowed. Traitors.
“Hey there,” Darryl said all calm and normal like he hadn’t broken her heart. She didn’t even look his way only stood a little taller and arched her back slightly to make her boobs look bigger.
“So Kelly,” Pam said after several seconds of awkward silence. “Jim and I are thinking about our honeymoon. We might go to Hawaii. Or maybe somewhere on the West Coast. Creed thinks we should go to Thailand, but...”
Kelly usually loved this kind of talk, but not in front of her ex-boyfriend who was looking so smug. And Pam and Jim looked so smug and happy too and she hated it.
“I’m going on a trip too,” Kelly bragged. “A different country and everything.”
There. That would show them.
“Oh?” Pam asked. “Where?”
Where? Damn. Uh...
“Costa Rica.” It was the first thing she could think of. She looked right at Darryl. “I bought this new sexy bikini and I look so, so hot in it.”
She heard someone stifling a laugh. Jim. He coughed and said, “Costa Rica? Are you... going to visit Toby?” Pam looked away from Jim. She was holding in a laugh as well.
“Yes,” Kelly said, angry, defensive. “I am.”
She didn’t get what was so funny about this.
“That’s great,” Pam said. “I’m sure he’ll really enjoy that.”
“Yes,” Jim agreed. “Especially the sexy bikini part.”
Kelly gave all three of them dirty looks and stomped off to the annex.
--
A few nights later he was struggling to get though a biography when his cell phone rang. Only two people had called him since he moved here. His ex and his daughter. And it was way too late for Sasha to be calling.
“Carrie?”
“Who’s Carrie?” asked a familiar, high-pitched voice. “Toby! Is Carrie your new girlfriend? Is she hot?”
“Carrie’s my ex-wife,” he said. “Kelly? Why are you calling me?”
She didn’t say anything and he asked, worried, “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”
“What? Yeah, I’m okay. I just had to ask you something. It might be weird though.”
He put his book on the floor. This might take awhile. “Is this about the email you sent me?”
“What email?” She giggled. “Oh! The email where I told you I thought we should have sex?”
He felt his face heat up. “That’s the one.”
“God. I told you not to read that! But anyway no. I was so drunk. I do such embarrassing things when I’m drunk. Just forget about it. Promise me you’ll forget about it.”
“Well...”
“So here’s the thing. Darryl was talking to Pam and Jim and they were all happy and laughing and talking about their honeymoon. Well just Pam and Jim. I don’t think Darryl’s coming along, because that would be weird.”
“Right.” He had no idea where this was going.
“And they were being so happy and annoying so I told them I was taking a trip. To another country.”
“Uh huh.”
“To Costa Rica. To visit you.”
“Kelly...” His voice trailed off when he realized he had no idea what to say.
“So my birthday’s coming up soon and my parents have totally agreed to pay for most of my trip Awesome, right?”
“Where...?” He suddenly felt overwhelmed, a little dazed. “Where are you planning to stay?” His eyes scanned his condo, the small bedroom, the one bed and felt even more uncomfortable. “You can’t stay with me.”
“Toby!” she screamed into the phone. “That’s so rude! And I don’t want to stay with you. I want to stay at a hotel. I love hotels.”
“Kelly,” he said. “I know you told them that you were coming here, but you don’t have to. You can change your plans, go somewhere more to your tastes. Like a spa or something. Maybe.”
She didn’t say anything, but he could hear her breathing. There was some music in the background. A female voice screeching about parties and clubs over horrible, throbbing sounds.
The anti-Jack Johnson.
“Or,” he said raising his voice slightly, “tell them you came here, but go somewhere else. They don’t care that much.”
When she finally spoke, she sounded like she was near tears. “You don’t want me to come visit you?”
He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think he wanted anyone from work to come visit him.
He sighed. “I just don’t understand why you’d want to come visit me.”
“I don’t know. It’ll be fun.”
Fun? Him?
“Maybe you should go visit one of your friends instead.”
She sniffled loudly into the phone. “You are one of my friends.” She sniffled a few more times and in a hiccupy voice that turned into something like a sob, asked, “Aren’t we friends?”
“Kelly,” he said softly, feeling like a terrible person. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
And he thought he couldn’t hate himself any more than he already did.
“I’m not,” she said. She hiccuped again.
“We’re friends.”
Kind of.
Then again he had written her emails with thoughts and feelings he would usually only share with his therapist.
So they must be friends.
She kept crying.
“Kelly,” he said. “We’re friends, but I don’t really think you’d have fun here. And you shouldn’t come here just to one up Darryl or Jim and Pam.”
“I wouldn’t be!” She said, through tears, “I want to come visit you and have fun and go to the beach. I miss you.”r32;
He had not been expecting that. “Really?”
“Totally. I miss you and it’s so hard because Holly doesn’t like me and I have no one to talk to not that you ever talked a lot to me, but it was nice because you were there and played Dunderball with me and Darryl broke up with me and Jim and Pam are so happy and I’m happy for them because they’re like so adorable together, but when I’m around them it makes me sad because Darryl didn’t love me the way Jim loves Pam and no one will probably ever love me and I need a few days away and I promise I won’t stay too long or anything and...” She stopped to take a shuddery breath and he felt himself caving.
Maybe some company, some noise would be good for him.
He hesitated. “When... would you want to come?”
“Next month,” she said. She sniffed a few more times and said, “You’ll see, Toby. This is going to be so awesome.”
He wasn’t too sure about that.
--
The next month flew by. She told anyone who would listen, and many people who wouldn’t, about her upcoming trip. She was so excited. She had never been to Costa Rica before and she knew it was going to be awesome. She was staying for three days and had packed accordingly: several cute sundresses, a few regular dresses, shorts, a few blouses, a sarong, a pink bikini and some really pretty lingerie just in case she met some hot guy on the beach and had a vacation fling. That was Lacy’s idea.
Lacy was kind of a slut, but she always had good ideas.
On the plane she read her In Touch and US Weekly and wondered what Darryl was doing now. Probably working. Hah! And Ryan. Ryan was still in jail. Awesome!
Toby had promised he would meet her at the airport, but she didn’t see him immediately. If he wasn’t there she would kick his ass all the way back to Scranton. She looked around and around and finally saw him standing off to the corner, not looking in her direction.
He looked different. He was wearing khaki shorts and a light blue shirt. So much better than the brown suits. He was wearing sandals. A dark blue baseball cap. His nose and cheeks were pink, but she was dismayed that his arms and legs were still white. Like albino white.
He still wasn’t looking at her so she screamed his name. He smiled a little shyly and did this dorky but kind of endearing half-wave. She gave herself a running start and launched into his arms suddenly thrilled that she was here. Thrilled to see him. She hugged him so hard, giggling, as he awkwardly hugged her back. She patted his back and kissed his cheek and told him all about her flight. She continued talking as he grabbed her bags, lugging them to his rental car.
Once in the car, she didn’t talk as much. She was too busy looking out the window. It was really pretty in Costa Rica and she was able to really get a great view as the scenery passed by at a agonizingly slow pace. Joggers were passing them.
“Toby,” she said. “No offense. But you’re like the worst driver ever. You drive too slow.”
“I like being careful,” he said. He met her eyes quickly and she realized, that even with the shorts and baseball cap and the pretty scenery, he still had the saddest eyes and the most wounded expression of anyone she had ever met. She remembered all those emails he had sent about being miserable and a loser and for a second it made her hurt.
She didn’t want to hurt on her vacation so instead she asked him what they were going to do.
“Well,” he said. “There are lots of things we could do, but I don’t know if you would want to. There’s the beach and surfing and rafting. There are museums and hikes and zip lining and... there’s this one tour I’d love to take Sasha on, but...” He didn’t finish his sentence.
“Is Sasha coming to visit?” Kelly asked. “That would be so much fun!”
He didn’t answer, but his mouth set in a thin line and he blinked a couple of times. Hummed something quietly to himself. It sounded like something that would be playing at a dentist’s office.
She wondered if Toby was losing his mind.
You slapped people who went crazy, right? Maybe she should slap him. But she didn’t want to slap Toby.
“We could go to the museum or a tour or whatever,” she said, trying to sound enthused. “I guess.”
“No,” he said. He smiled at her. It was forced and painful looking. “We’ll do whatever you want to do. That’s fine. Want to go to the beach?”
“Can we go to a mall?”
“A mall? You just got here.”
She shrugged. “So?”
He looked at her again, the expression on his face almost puzzled as if he couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. Why she was here. How she had gotten here.
“No,” he said finally. “The mall’s fine.”
--
When they met at the food court after two hours, she had several bags already. She showed him one brightly colored article of clothing or accessory after another and he nodded and tried to look interested, but was really just wondering how she was going to get everything into her suitcases and on the plane.
“Oh! I saved the best for last,” Kelly said. She picked up a box and placed it in front of him. “For you.”
“You didn’t have to,” he said, both embarrassed and touched.
“Please.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re kidding, right? Open it!” She clapped her hands together. “Open it! Open it!”
He smiled and opened the box. A shirt. Long sleeved, dark blue, softer than what he usually wore. “Wow. Thanks.”
“You’ll be wearing that tomorrow night.”
He looked up. “Tomorrow night?”
“Yeah. I want to do room service tonight, because I love, love, love room service, but tomorrow night we’ll go out and you’ll wear that.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said.
Sometimes with Kelly it was just easier to go along with everything.
--
She was tired after shopping. She told Toby that she would spent the rest of the night exploring the hotel (awesome!) and eating room service (expensive!) and reading magazines and sending out postcards (Wish you were here to everyone at work. Except that was a lie because she was totally glad they weren’t here).
She was glad she was here though. Maybe at first she had come just to show Darryl that she was fine without him and to show Jim and Pam that they weren’t the only ones who could take awesome vacations, but seriously Costa Rica was pretty cool.
She closed her eyes as she sunk into a super hot, fragrant bubble bath. She loved bubble baths and hotels and expensive room service.
She loved Costa Rica.
She couldn’t imagine how anyone could be miserable in a place like this.
--
He was asleep. Dreaming something pleasant for once. He and Sasha were at a park, and he was pushing her on the swing set. Sasha was laughing. Carrie watched from a nearby bench, looking relaxed. She was laughing too.
His dreams weren’t usually so happy and vivid. When his cell phone started ringing loudly, he felt disoriented. When he realized he was in his condo, alone, he felt cheated.
“What?” he asked in the phone, his voice rougher and angrier than usual.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Kelly. He looked at the clock next to his bed. Eight.
“Sorry,” he said. “I was having a very pleasant dream.”
“Cool. What do you want to do today?”
He sat up in bed. “Well, I have to do some work.”
“Work?” she yelled into the phone. “You still work?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Here and there. I have to eat. And I send money for Sasha every month.”
“I want to see your condo. I’m going to take a cab. Do some work and then we can go to the beach. I’ll be there in an hour. See you.”
He hung up the phone and closed his eyes again. He wondered if he had any tea left.
--
Toby’s condo wasn’t as big as she thought it would be. It was kind of drab and boring too. She never would have guessed a condo on a beach could be so depressing.
“What do you do when you have visitors?” she asked, peering inside his cluttered bedroom. The bed was still unmade which made the room seem even sadder.
“Visitors?” he asked, stepping in front of her to shut the door to his room.
“Yeah. When you have parties.”
He laughed. It was a goofy, honking type of laugh. She laughed too at the oddness of it.
“No seriously. Where do your overnight guests sleep?”
“Overnight guests,” he repeated. He went back to his computer. “I don’t have overnight guests. Except for that one crazy week when Michael and Dwight stayed over.”
“Don’t be stupid,” she said. She sat on a chair across from him and watched him type. This was so boring! “I mean like Sasha.”
The typing stopped. He didn’t look at her when he answered. “Sasha hasn’t come to visit me. Her mom doesn’t want her to. Too far away.”
There was some music in the background. It was very soft and nothing like Kelly would have listened to. She stood up and walked to the kitchen area to get some water. He had promised her that he just needed to look over some files and then they’d go to the beach. But he was taking forever.
“Toby,” she whined. “Talk to me.”
Just like when they were together in the annex.
“I just have to finish.”
“Are you happy in Costa Rica?”
The typing stopped again. “Not... well. Sort of. But... yeah sometimes.”
“But not really?”
He turned around again. He took what sounded like a really deep breath before saying, “Yeah. Not really.”
And that was so sad so she looked down at the floor so she wouldn’t start crying and when he asked her if she wanted to go to beach now all she could do was nod.
--
Kelly wore a pink bikini to sunbathe and when she took off the floral sundress she had been wearing over it, he didn’t quite know where to look.
Maybe I should have hooked up with you, Toby, her email had said.
He still didn’t know what to think about that.
The water was beautiful today and he surfed for awhile, the physical activity relaxing him in ways tea and music couldn’t. When he felt both exhausted and relaxed, he walked over to her.
“Do you go surfing every day?” she asked.
He lay down on the towel next to her, hoping he had applied enough sunscreen. He closed his eyes and mumbled something about how it was the only resolution he was really keeping.
“Resolution?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. He told her about all his plans - tea and music and poetry. Saying it aloud made him feel a little silly.
“Relaxing is good,” she said. “You so need to relax.”
“Relaxing is only a part of it,” he said. He was not usually this open with his thoughts, but after all those back-and-forth emails and now lying here together with the sun beating down, far away from everyone and everything, it seemed almost natural. “I wanted to change myself completely. Become a whole different person.”
“Don’t be a moron,” she said. “There was nothing wrong with you before.”
Well that wasn’t true. Quite the opposite. But saying it was such an act of kindness, even with the irritated tone to her voice, that he smiled to himself.
“Except for your clothes. Those were just fugly.”
He laughed. She giggled too, a light, wonderful sound.
He was kind of glad she was here.
--
“Why aren’t you happy?” she asked him as they walked back to his condo.
He sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this really. Not now.”
She smiled at two adorable little kids playing in the sand before saying, “But I really want to know.”
“Well...”
“If you’re not happy you should come home.”
He looked away from her. “Let me get changed and I’ll drive you back to the hotel.”
“Okay,” she said. “Cool. Because I want to take another bubble bath. But I’m serious. You should come back if you’re not happy. We have better malls and better TV shows.” She was only half-kidding.
He opened the door to his condo and said, sounding weary, “It’s not that easy, Kelly.”
“Yes it is,” she protested. “You don’t even have that much stuff. Get a plane ticket. That’s it. What’s so hard about it?”
He didn’t answer so she followed him into his kitchen where he took out two bottles of water and passed one to her. Bottle in hand, she followed him into his bedroom and stood, arms crossed at the door, waiting for an answer.
He seemed to realize that she wasn’t going to leave his bedroom without an answer and he wasn’t going to change in front of her so he finally said, “It’s just... there’s nothing for me back there.”
Which was really upsetting. “There is! Maybe you’ll be happier if you’re home. You don’t have to come back to work with us. But you can totally get another job. And you’ll be near your daughter.”
“I think it’s better for everyone that I’m here,” he said. He gave her a look and she stepped back so he could shut the door.
Drinking her water, she thought about that. It was such a bleak answer and it sucked because it actually sounded like he believed it.
--
That night he wore the dark blue shirt which actually fit. She wore a white dress and looked radiant, if a little overdressed for their casual dinner.
He felt a little guilty about how much of a downer he had been earlier and tried to keep the conversation light. She wasn’t paying attention to him though. She was looking everywhere but at him and he wondered if she was bored or annoyed with him.
Finally he had to ask, “What are you looking at?”
“The women in the restaurant. I’m trying to decide who the hottest looking one is. The one near the door is really pretty, but I think the waitress is the hottest.” She stood up. “Stay here. I’m going to get her number for you.”
“No,” he hissed. “Sit down.”
This would only end in humiliation. The waitress, an admittedly beautiful woman, couldn’t have been more than twenty-five.
She sat down, pouting. “Fine. I’m just trying to help you. You need to find a woman. A hot one. Someone to make you happy so you’ll stop calling yourself a loser and being all depressed. Pam isn’t the only woman in the whole world, Toby.”
And he thought this couldn’t get any more awkward.
“Kelly.” He held up a hand to stop her. There was a part of him that felt like confiding everything to her. Admitting that once in Costa Rica he had thought about his weird behavior over the last year. When he replayed the bizarre way he had acted it had upset him so much that any kind of attraction he had to Pam had just dulled until it was nonexistent. The distance from her and Jim and their bliss helped as well.
He opened his mouth to try to explain these feelings, but Kelly cut him off.
“I mean Pam’s cute okay, but I’m cuter, right? I don’t know why everyone makes such a big deal about her. I bet you like her because she reads books and is smart and everything. Toby? Do you think I’m dumb? Ryan thought I was dumb. And I think Darryl thought so too.”
By the time she finished her sentence, her lip was quivering and her eyes were huge. He wasn’t sure what had brought this on.
“I don’t think you’re dumb,” he told her. He took a bite of the Tres Leches cake they were sharing and pushed the rest of the dessert to her.
“But you don’t think I’m smart.” She squished the last bit of cake with her fork without much interest.
How had she described him in an email? Cute in his own way?
“I think you’re smart in your own way,” he said.
She frowned, her lip quivering even more, so he tried again. “I think you’re smarter than people give you credit for.”
That worked. She smiled, pleased. “Really?”
“Yes,” he said. He felt proud of himself for being able to cheer her up. That smile, that happy, bright smile on her face, was because of him. Was meant for him. “Yes,” he repeated and placed his hand over hers.
She met his eyes just for a second and they both looked down at their hands, his completely engulfing hers. And just like that he had a sense of deja vu, remembering a late night in a parking lot, getting a little too comfortable, putting his hand somewhere it really didn’t belong.
He pulled his hand back, face flaming, and mumbled an apology and wondered how he could do the same stupid thing twice.
--
The two of them walked back from the small restaurant to her hotel. It was windy and cold outside and she wore his jacket over her pretty, sleeveless dress. The jacket was worn and faded, but comfortable and toasty and she wondered if he’d let her keep it.
He wasn’t saying much as they walked together, hadn’t really said anything since he put his hand over hers in the restaurant. That was okay. She had stuff on her mind too.
His hand had covered hers and his eyes had been so caring when he looked at her which was, in a odd way, kind of sexy, and even though he was like the saddest man in the whole wide world he had tried to make her feel better. And he had said she was smarter than people gave her credit for which was so sweet.
And the dark blue shirt was really, really working for him.
She couldn’t stop thinking about a line from a certain email she had written while under the influence.
I’d be kissing you passionately and then you could put those weird huge ass hands of yours on my...
She hadn’t finished that thought in her email. Now, however, she had no problem coming up with possibilities. He could use his weird huge ass hands to cup her face for a kiss, to pull down the straps of her dress, to caress bare skin...
Well, let’s just say she was starting to come up with plenty of ideas.
As they walked, now neither of them saying much, she put her hand in his. He turned to her, but it was getting dark and she couldn’t really see his expression, but he didn’t let go and it felt so good to hold his hand and it was kind of strange because it was Toby.
But it was kind of not strange too.
And yeah maybe they weren’t in the annex alone while everyone else was in a meeting, but they were in Costa Rica where it was beautiful and she had the most awesome hotel around and she had packed lingerie because Lacy told her she should be prepared.
Kelly was suddenly very, very happy she hadn’t hooked Toby up with that waitress.
Because everything suddenly made so much sense that she grinned to herself. She was going to invite him back to her hotel room that overlooked the ocean. She was going to wear her pretty lingerie and they were going to have sex tonight.
And it was going to be awesome.
--
Her hand was cool in his and he realized that the only reason she took his hand was for warmth, the same reason she had accepted his jacket. He didn’t care really. He was just so relieved that she wasn’t mad at him for what happened in the restaurant.
And it was a nice change to be walking outside, hand-in-hand with a beautiful young woman. It was nice to imagine just for a little while that he wasn’t alone.
She was here for one more day. He didn’t know what she was planning. Maybe another mall trip. There were a few hotels nearby that did spa treatments and everything. Maybe another day of lounging around by the beach. Her flight, the day after tomorrow, was early in the morning.
He didn’t want to think about her leaving. At first, he hadn’t been too enthusiastic about her visiting him, but it had been a nice diversion. Something different. It had been nice to have someone to eat with, to hang out with for a little bit. It had been nice to have someone to talk to, even if she had done most of the talking.
He would miss her once she was gone.
She didn’t seem to be listening when he asked her if she wanted to get breakfast tomorrow. When he repeated this suggestion, when they were outside the hotel, she nodded and said yeah that sounded fine.
“So, you’re coming up, right.” It was a statement, not a question.
He hadn’t planned on it. “Why?”
“I want to show you my cool room and we can sit on the balcony and watch the water. You like the water, right? That’s the reason you moved here.”
“One of them.”
“Mm hmm.” She was brisk. Decided.
He walked her to her room. He would make sure she was safe and after giving the balcony and view a quick once-over, he would leave. It was the decent thing to do. And he was decent. Again. Finally.
She opened the door and grabbed his hand and pulled him in.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s see the view.”
--
“Isn’t it gorgeous?” she asked him, motioning to where her balcony doors opened onto the moon and the sky and the stars and the water. Then she paused and really, really looked and it was gorgeous. She stood beside him in silence for a moment, his big hand slightly sweaty but utterly steady in hers. She turned towards him and he was looking at her with an odd expression.
“Ke-”
But she kissed him before he got the second syllable out. She knew her name. She knew his name. Knew tons about him already. Now she wanted to know the parts of him she had never gotten the chance to know in Scranton in that drab office where there wasn’t water stained with moonlight.
She kept kissing him. Deepening, asking permission into his mouth. They were still holding hands and she was using her free hand to pull him closer. To keep him from bolting. She wasn’t sure where his other hand was until it swept up her back. She shuddered against him. So this was going to be for her, too – not just to make Toby feel good. He was going to make her feel good, too.
Awesome.
When his hand landed in her hair, she let go of him a bit. To let them breathe. So she could talk to him. So she could let him know her plans for the evening.
“So, we’re going to do this, you know. We’re going to have sex right here.”
“Standing up?” he asked, light in his eyes like she had never noticed before. “That might not work for me.”
“No, silly. I meant in this room. Right now.”
He took a deep breath and she thought she was going to have to kiss him again to keep him from doing something stupid. Like leaving. His eyes got sad again for a minute, then he tipped his head and kissed her.
He was less bossy than she had been, and he had some talent. Bits and pieces of her email swam around in her brain. Why hadn’t they ever done this in Pennsylvania? Why hadn’t she seen past all the depression to the odd sort of hotness below? She smiled against his lips and began to back him towards the bed. His knees hit the edge of the mattress and he went down.
--
This was not what he had expected when she had decided to come visit. He would never have guessed that he’d be sitting on a hotel bed staring up at Kelly. He should ask her if she was sure that this was what she wanted.
As if guessing his thoughts, Kelly put her hands on her hips and grinned down at him. “We’re going to have fun, you know.”
He nodded dumbly. Let her slowly undress him before he realized he needed to be a bit more participatory, so he helped her out of her dress. She got off the bed to carefully lay it on a chair and he let himself gaze at her body, the lushness of her hips and her ass. She swung around and caught him staring. She smiled. “Good, huh?”
He nodded again, his mouth dry.
She reached behind and unclasped her bra and let it slip away from her breasts. She was absolutely beautiful. She slipped out of her panties and tossed them into the corner of the room.
“Good,” he was finally able to get out. He felt like he was having a heart attack; thankfully, certain parts of his anatomy were working quite well.
She tilted her head to the side and watched him. “You need to take your underpants off.”
He looked down. Yep. He was wearing his boxers and his socks. Socks in Costa Rica. He went for those first. Kelly lay down on the bed beside him and tugged his boxers down and caressed the exposed parts of him and it was all very, very good.
--
She had thought about going into the bathroom to put on the pink lingerie – but she wasn’t convinced that he wouldn’t still take off. That would be for next time. Next time. She smiled as she kissed him and caressed him and let him kiss her and caress her. There was totally going to be a next time.
His hand slid up to cup her breast, squeezing gently – running one of his fingers around the tightening nipple. She whimpered a little. He deepened the kiss and the exploration. A firmer squeeze, a firmer tracing. She fell into it, let him take charge.
His mouth left hers and began to move across her cheek, her ear, her neck – adoring her skin. She liked being adored. Liked being taken care of. And Toby was doing a very good job.
He had gotten to the valley between her breasts, licking and sucking the eager flesh as wave after wave of pleasure shimmered over her. She could hear the water and his breathing and her heartbeat. And his mouth. She could hear the sounds of his mouth as he devoured her – moved to a dusky nipple and slid it into his mouth.
She cried out – wanted to talk, to tell him that he was doing a very good job – but she couldn’t, because he was doing an exceptional job and she was struggling to get air into her lungs.
His fingers caressed downwards – outlining her adorable outie belly button (she was very proud of that outie) and brushing down through the crinkly hair that hid the parts that were starting to really want his attention.
His mouth followed his fingers and she writhed at the pleasure he was giving her. She gave him sighs and moans of encouragement and she could swear that he was smiling against her skin – when he wasn’t busy licking and sucking and nibbling it.
Then he nudged her legs open and fastened his mouth between them and she screamed out. He was unbelievably good at this. She had a moment of anxiety that she wouldn’t be as good when it came to her turn to take care of him, then he sucked her and slid a finger inside and she saw stars and came.
He was holding her when she started hearing the waves and his breathing again.
“You okay?” he asked, looking both incredibly happy and completely sad. Two things at once. Combined utterly.
Kelly tightened his arms around him and held him close. “We could’ve done this in Scranton,” she said – though she knew the truth. She wasn’t as clueless as she let people think she was.
She was smarter than people gave her credit for.
He laughed. “In the annex right?” The sadness was starting to lose to the happiness and she liked it.
She giggled. “Of course. That would’ve shut Michael up.”
He leaned so he can look at her and his eyes were glowing again – reflecting moonlight and starlight and something just Toby. Familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.
“And yes. It would’ve kept me quiet, too.” She said, enjoying the look in his eyes, the renewed stirring of her body. She giggled again. “Maybe you didn’t need to go to Costa Rica after all!”
He didn’t say anything to that, but some of the glow in his eyes dimmed a bit. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. Instead of saying any more and possibly ruining things, she kissed him again, feeling the heat radiating off of him. His body was still stirred up, and she realized that she had been very selfish. And despite what Ryan (still in prison!) or Darryl (still an idiot!) might tell people, she wasn’t selfish.
And Toby was going to learn that for himself.
She found the condoms she brought with her (Thanks for that great idea, Lacy!) and put one on him. He was very still, his hands fisted at his sides, watching her intently. She climbed back beside and rolled right on top of him, her entire body onto his entire body.
He was skinny and bony in parts and fleshy in others and she was surprised how well she fit on top of him. She was also surprised that he wasn’t complaining that she was crushing him; no, he was not complaining at all. His hands were all over her back and ass and his penis was thrusting up quite happily as she kissed him – and gave herself some time to get ready again. He let her, even though he was obviously very ready. Let her finally sit up and move so her parts were over his. Let her sink down slowly on him. She was surprised at both his size and his restraint. His fingers dug into her hips but he didn’t try to direct or dictate. She liked that.
Next time she’d totally let him be in charge. This time, however, she was going to find a pace that he seemed to like and she was going to keep going until he came.
She was proud of her plan and carried it out to perfection. She watched his face intently – learning his responses so she could make this good for him – so she could see that shining light again.
His eyes opened wide as he came and the light was there and, surprise again, it was enough to carry her over the edge with him.
She crumpled forward and began to move off him so he could breathe, but he stopped her.
“Can you stay on top of me for a minute?” he asked, a hitch in his voice.
“Sure,” she said, pleased.
“Thanks.”
He said her name then, so softly, almost as a sigh, and she smiled at him.
She loved Costa Rica!
--
She stayed where she was and he reveled in her warmth, her affection as she planted light kisses on his cheek, jaw and neck. She said his name several times, all in a breathy, cooing voice and it was so strange and wonderful and he wondered how all this had happened.
Eventually she rolled off him, turning so she was facing him. “This was crazy, huh, Toby?”
“Very.”
“Crazy, but awesome. Are you exhausted? I read in some magazine a long time ago about having sex with older men. The magazine said they’ll be so good to you and take their time like you did, but they’ll probably be exhausted after. Because they’re so old and they need lots of sleep.”
He laughed, the same honking sound. She laughed too, curling up close to him. “You’re not that old. I mean maybe a little, but not really.”
“Not really,” he repeated, pulling her even closer.
“I can’t believe my vacation is almost over and it’s my last day already. Sort of.”
“I know.”
He would miss her. He knew that even before this craziness had happened. She would go back to Scranton, to her family and friends and her job and her life and he would be here in his condo, lonely, probably depressed even after this brief respite, and completely surrounded by quiet.
Normally he loved quiet, but suddenly he was kind of dreading the inevitable silence that would remain once she left.
“Kelly,” he said, wanting to postpone the quiet. “Tell me something.”
“Okay. What?”
“I don’t know. Anything. Whatever you want to talk about.”
“Most guys just want me to shut up after sex,” she said. But then she started telling him about people in the office and then her parents and her sisters and her friend Lacy and then she moved on to celebrities and TV shows and songs and although it might have once exasperated him, now he let her chatter envelop him, relaxing him the way the sound of the ocean had. He pressed his lips, his tongue to her bare shoulder, causing her to shiver just a little. He smiled to himself and then closed his eyes.
“Are you going to go to sleep now, Toby?” Kelly asked. “That’s okay if you’re exhausted like the magazine said you’d be. Go to sleep because we have a full day tomorrow.” She listed all the things she wanted to do concluding with, “Oh! And of course we’ll have sex again. However you want to do it. And I’ll wear this really sexy lingerie I bought. I look so hot in it!”
He opened his eyes again. She was watching him, beautiful and happy, and he murmured something about how he couldn’t wait. She kissed him and asked if he wanted her to shut up now. He told her no. Definitely not.
She started talking some more and he fell asleep, her tirade about the evilness of Spencer Pratt as soothing to him as a lullaby.
--
Toby was asleep. After talking awhile she noticed that his breathing sort of changed and his hold on her loosened just a little bit.
She couldn’t wait to tell everyone at work what had happened. Well maybe not everyone, because what? She was going to share her sex life with Creed and Kevin? Michael and Dwight? Gross! No, she would just tell Pam. And Holly. Because they were her best friends.
And yeah maybe she’d tell Darryl too. And maybe a letter just might happen to find its way to a certain prisoner...
“I think,” she whispered to Toby, “you should come back home. You shouldn’t be somewhere you’re not happy. You should get some other job and be near your daughter and not be all alone. And we can hang out and maybe even date or be boyfriend and girlfriend.” She snuggled up close to him and said, “I think we’d be a good couple and I would buy you new clothes and you’d always be nice to me and I think we’d be happy because you’re really smart and I think you’re kind of hot even though you’re old and still really pale and you think I’m smarter than people give me credit for and you wanted me to talk after sex which was awesome by the way. Seriously. I don’t know why you didn’t have a girlfriend before because you just did some pretty awesome stuff to me and I’m totally going to make it up to you tomorrow.”
She leaned over even closer and whispered directly into his ear, “And Toby? You are so, so not a loser.”
She closed her eyes. She could hear the faint sound of the water, his soft breathing next to her, felt his skin warm against hers and she thought again about much she loved beautiful Costa Rica.
It would be an awesome place to get married.
The end
Story Notes:
I still love him and still ship these two. So I wrote this crazy long fic which is very different for me, but I hope you enjoy. Credit for the smut scene goes to my friend Holly, who can write the kinds of things that I can't.
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
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