Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Jim was having a horrible day. Michael wouldn’t stop bugging him about Holly, and Dwight wouldn’t stop bragging about the sale he took from Jim. After work he sped to New York, just waiting for the moment he could see his fiancé’s face.
As he was about to knock on the door to her room, he heard a male voice inside, followed by Pam’s laugh. He froze, even though he knew that Pam had a couple of male friends –it didn’t bother him at all.
Wincing, he realized that maybe it did bother him a little bit, but he would never admit that to Pam.
The problem was that Pam hadn’t mentioned anything about one of her male friends being there today.
For the past couple of weeks, things had been a bit tense between the two of them. They hadn’t been able to see each other, which left both of them resentful and annoyed at each other for the littlest things. Pam had even hung up on him a few days ago.
Jim took a deep breath. This was probably nothing. He wasn’t going to let himself get worked up over this.
Reaching up, he knocked on the door. The talking immediately quieted and he heard Pam yell, “Come in!”
Jim opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Pam and her male friend sitting on her bed. It looked like they had been doing some sketching, or something of that nature. However, that project seemed to be abandoned and now they were just sitting there. Close. Closer than Jim would have liked.
Jim shook those thoughts out of his head.
“Hey,” Jim said, leaning over to kiss Pam quickly.
“Hi, I’m Jim. You must be Ben, right?” Jim offered his hand to Pam’s friend.
“Yeah. Hey, nice to meet you.” He returned the handshake. “Well, I should go get going, Pam. We’ll finish up later.” Ben started to get up.
Pam brought her hand up to stop him. “No, we should probably just finish now. We don’t have much time. Jim can wait just a few minutes. Right?” Pam looked up at him.
That was the last thing that he wanted to do. They hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Jim tried hard not to show his disappointment on his face. “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry about it. Your homework is much more important. I’ll just surf the internet or something.”
Ben finally left an hour later. Jim had spent the hour listening to Pam and Ben talking and laughing about everything. He tried not to feel jealous, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he heard Pam laugh at one of Ben’s jokes, he felt a little stab of jealousy.
After Pam got back from walking Ben out, she gave Jim a hug from behind and kissed his cheek.
“Sorry about that. We had a project and it couldn’t wait. I totally forgot about it when we talked earlier.” Pam came around and perched on the edge of her desk. “This professor is such a jerk. He threw it at us on Monday. Ben says he probably leads an unfulfilling life and likes to take it out on innocent students.”
Pam then started on a rant about her classes, with a few “Ben says this…” “Ben thinks…” thrown in for good measure.
Jim nodded and tried to laugh at the right moments. But inside he was getting increasingly annoyed at the idea of Pam and her new friend.
“But enough about that. We’ve got other things to attend to,” Pam said, finally looking him in the eye.
Jim only nodded and sat stiffly and unmoving in the chair.
Pam cocked an eyebrow. “What’s up with you?”
Jim shrugged, not daring to open his mouth. He didn’t know what would come out.
“What do you mean by that?” Pam imitated Jim’s noncommittal shrug.
“Nothing. You’re right, let’s get to it.” Jim stood up and grabbed Pam’s hand to lead her to the bed.
Pam slapped his hand away.
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t think this can be solved by sex. We need to talk about this, whatever it is.”
Jim groaned and ran his hands through his hair a few times.
“Alright, fine.” Jim said, throwing his hands up. “I had the shittiest day today. Michael wouldn’t leave me alone about Holly, which is usually annoying, but today it went way passed annoying. Dwight took a big fucking sale away from me, and I haven’t gotten to see you in so long… I thought we could just have some time alone together, but instead I have to spend an hour listening to you and Ben going on about whatever. Then you get done with that and proceed to go on about everything with Pratt and how great it is. And how ‘Ben says this’ and ‘Ben says that.’” Jim finally stopped to take a breath.
He was so upset he was shaking. Looking over at Pam for a second, he realized she was standing with her arms crossed, looking ready to kill. He couldn’t believe he had said all that. But that didn’t stop him from continuing.
“You know what? You’d probably be better with Ben anyways,” Jim said. Pam’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but Jim cut her off. “You can talk about art with him and he’ll actually understand, and look! He’s actually going to be doing something with his life that’s not selling paper,” Jim said in a quieter tone, indicating the sketches on the bed and not meeting Pam’s eyes.
Jim couldn’t believe he had voiced his thoughts out loud. He had never truly believed any of it in his heart, but somehow his mind had warped his views. Saying it out loud made it seem that much more real, and less of an idea in his head.
Jim walked over to the bed and sat down, staring at the floor.
“How could you say something like that?”
Jim shrugged again.
“Seriously, Jim. Talk to me!”
Jim continued to stare at the floor, saying nothing.
“Damn it! I cannot believe you just said that to me. Did I not agree to marry you?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you broke that promise,” Jim muttered quietly.
“Fuck you, Jim. Fuck you. You do not get to say that to me. Get the hell out of here,” Pam yelled, tears evident in her voice.
Jim didn’t move. He could feel tears welling up in his own eyes.
“I told you to get out of here!” Pam ran over to Jim and attempted to pull him to his feet. When he didn’t move, Pam started to pull harder, and getting more and more upset, she began weakly punching him in the arm. After a few punches, Pam gave up and collapsed on the floor sobbing.
Jim fought to keep his emotions at bay, but lost as a single tear fell down his face at the sight of Pam looking so upset and defeated. He was the world’s biggest asshole. He didn’t deserve Pam – he was always striving be different than Roy, but it seemed he was becoming everything he’d fought so hard against.
Jim stood up and started walking for the door. “O-Okay. I’ll get out of here,” Jim’s voice wobbled. “I’ll just head back now. If you want to break off…”
His voice broke and he couldn’t continue. Jim wiped the tears from his face and he walked out of the room.
Story Notes:
Story and chapter titles from "A Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Don't hate me for writing angst. I just needed it.
