Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Jim stood in the men’s room on the executive floor of Dunder Mifflin New York, running a small sheet of paper between his thumb and index finger. He stared down at it, wondering how something so small, so inconsequential, could possibly have had such an impact on him. But it had. It was just a four by five inch piece of paper with a foil yogurt lid stuck to it, but to him, it was everything. He tested the weight of the message slip in his hand, wondering how something so incredibly lightweight could stir a rush of emotion that threatened to crush him. Idly he noted that the paper itself was lighter then normal office stock. Probably sixteen or eighteen pound paper instead of the usual twenty pound.
He ran his finger gingerly over her handwriting. Her message was a reminder of the one thing he was never going to be able to forget. He loved her. He was still in love with her. And, no matter how many times he told himself that he had to move on, no matter how many times he looked at Karen and thought about how great she was, no matter how self-destructive the things he had just said to David Wallace probably were, he couldn’t picture his life in ten years without Pam Beesly. He bounced the slip lightly in the palm of his hand, the canister lights above the sinks reflecting back at him from the gold foil yogurt lid. If there was a gold medal given for being a fool in love, he would win, hands down. It was time to go home.
As he walked from the men’s room, he reached up absently and ran his hand through his hair, mussing it slightly, and pulling the front of it down over his forehead before reaching for his cell and dialing Karen’s number. When she answered, he said, “I need to get back to Scranton.” He listened for a moment and then blew out a sigh. “Where are you?” he asked. He nodded as he pressed the call button for the elevator and then said, “Okay, well, I have to get back as soon as possible. Why don’t I get the car and I’ll come there to pick you up. With traffic and stuff it’ll take a while.” He stepped into the elevator and repeatedly pushed the button for the lobby level as if trying to make everything move faster. As the doors started to close, he said, “No, it didn’t go as I expected. I can’t talk about it right now.”
And that was how the longest three hours of Jim Halpert’s life began. By the time he had retrieved the car and maneuvered himself through traffic to the restaurant downtown where Karen had met her friends, she had already eaten her salad and was waiting on the sidewalk. She approached the Corolla with a wide smile and slipped into the passenger seat. When she leaned over to kiss him, Jim pretended to be distracted by the traffic and turned his head so that her lips landed squarely on his cheek. As he pulled away, she asked, “So, what happened?”
Jim just shook his head and offered her a weak smile as he said, “I can’t talk about it right now. I need to think things over.”
Karen nodded and remained quiet while he finagled his car through the knots of city traffic until they finally made it onto I-80 heading west. I need to get back to Scranton. The words echoed through his mind on a continuous loop, punctuated by snippets of the songs blaring from the CD playing on the stereo. By the time they had crossed from New Jersey into Pennsylvania, Karen could contain her curiosity no longer. She reached over and turned down the volume, startling him from his thoughts. “Aren’t you going to tell me how it went?” she asked quietly.
“I told you, it didn’t go like I thought it would,” Jim said with a small shrug.
“Do you think you might be able to work up a couple of specifics?” Karen asked impatiently. “What went wrong? You were so ready for this.”
“I thought I was, but I wasn’t,” Jim said quietly. “I told David that I didn’t want the job.”
“You what? Why?” Karen demanded.
“Because I don’t,” Jim answered simply.
“I don’t understand. Why? Do you want to be stuck in Scranton forever?” she asked incredulously. When he didn’t answer, she shook her head and asked, “Is this because of Jan?”
Jim shook his head slightly and said in a soft voice, “No.” He paused and took a deep breath before he confessed, “Because of Pam.”
Karen sucked in a sharp breath and asked, “Pam?”
“Yeah.”
Karen was quiet as she digested his confession. Jim glanced at the side of the road and noted the mileage markers, mentally calculating how much longer the trip was going to take before pressing a little harder on the accelerator.
“You said that you were past all that,” Karen said in a hoarse voice.
“I wanted to be,” Jim admitted as he glanced over at her. “I really did, but I’m not.”
“We talked. We talked and talked and you said that you knew that it wasn’t going to happen. Why are you doing this?” she asked, her voice aching with hurt.
“I have to.”
“But, she doesn’t, you said that she didn’t feel the same way,” Karen protested.
“I think maybe she might. I don’t know. I just know that I have to try. Again,” he added in a self-deprecating tone.
Karen blinked back her confusion as she turned to look at him, studying his determined set of his jaw. “So, this is it? You just decide that you have to go chasing after Pam, so you and me, we’re over?” she asked, her anger bubbling up to the surface.
“I can’t,” Jim said in a voice heavy with regret.
“So, you were just marking time? Waiting for her?”
“No, Karen, no,” Jim said as he shook his head vehemently.
“I moved here because I thought you and I…” she started to say.
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he said quickly, cutting her off.
“You’re sorry,” she said disbelievingly.
“I am. You know I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jim said desperately.
“Well you did,” she said petulantly. “You are.”
“I know,” he answered quietly.
“So, what’s your plan? You going to walk into the office and sweep her off her feet? You planning on playing Richard Gere to her Debra Winger, Halpert?” she asked snidely.
“I’m not going to talk to you about this,” Jim said in a low voice. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. You’re right, I’m a complete ass. You should be glad to be rid of me.”
Karen turned in her seat, and stared out of the passenger window, blinking back tears as the Pennsylvania countryside flew by. As they entered Scranton, Jim asked, “Do you want me to drop you at home?”
Without turning to look at him, Karen answered, “My car is there.”
When he pulled to a stop in front of her apartment, Jim put the car in park and turned to her. “Karen, I…” he started as he reached out to touch her arm.
“No!” she said a little too vehemently as she shook him off. “Don’t say anything else, Halpert. Pop the trunk, I’ll get my bag,” she said as she opened the door and began to climb from the car.
“I’ll get it,” Jim said as he reached for his door handle.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” Karen said as she slammed the passenger door and moved to the back of the car, her arms crossed over her chest as she waited for him to release the trunk latch.
With a sigh, Jim pulled the lever and heard the trunk pop open. A moment later, he winced as it slammed shut and he saw Karen wheeling her suitcase toward her door. He wanted to call out to her, to apologize again, to try to explain, but he knew it was no use. As soon as she disappeared inside, he put the car in drive, and headed for the office.
****
Pam sat in the conference room, the camera trained on her face, hoping against hope that her rambling justifications were enough to cover the heartbreak that was tearing her up inside. She had hoped that her outburst at the beach outing would be enough, but apparently it wasn’t. She had hoped that maybe after he thought about what she had said, that maybe he’d hear what she didn’t say. Apparently, he hadn’t.
She tried to be upbeat. She had copied their sales reports and placed them in presentation folders. She had smiled and wished them both luck as they left the office early to drive down to the city. She had sat at home the night before and sucked down an entire bottle of wine; all the while desperately trying not to picture them tangled up in twisted sheets on a king sized bed in some anonymous hotel room. She had tried so hard, but she knew it was too little too late.
So here she was, trying to convince the camera crew and the rest of the world that this was how it was meant to be. So here she was again, trying and hoping. Trying to reassure herself that everything would be okay, and hoping that she wasn’t lying through her teeth. Trying to cling to the scrap of friendship that they still had left, and hoping it would be enough. Trying to pretend that she wasn’t falling apart, and hoping that no one would notice the tiny pieces of Pam scattered on the floor.
She smiled brightly at the camera and said, “I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified and smart; everyone loves him. And... if he never comes back again, that's okay,” she asserted with a quick nod. “We're friends and I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down, and then he did the same to me. But you know what? It's okay, I'm totally fine,” she told them and herself. “Everything's going to be totally…” she broke off as there was a quick knock and Jim opened the door.
“Pam?” he called. He waved slightly to the camera crew and muttered, “Sorry,” before turning his attention back to her. “Um, are you free for dinner tonight?” he asked quickly.
Pam nodded like Dwight’s bobble head, trying to force the word she wanted to say most to him from her tight throat. “Yes,” she managed finally.
Jim smiled as he said, “Alright,” with a nod. He tapped his fingers lightly on the doorframe and said, “Then… It’s a date,” and pulled the door closed again.
Pam gaped at the door for a moment and then turned to the camera, her heart so full she thought that it might leap from her chest, her smile so wide it stretched for miles. She blinked at the camera, and tried to refocus her thoughts as the words, ‘Are you free for dinner tonight?’ and ‘It’s a date’ did a happy dance in her head. She couldn’t contain her smile and didn’t even bother to try as she asked, “I’m sorry, what was the question?”
The crew gave up even trying to get a coherent answer out of her. She supposed that they took a little sympathy on her, having been present for some of the best and worst moments that she had ever shared with Jim. She rambled on, talking about how happy she was that Michael wasn’t moving to New York and leaving them in Dwight’s clutches, even if it meant she lost her status as his secret number two. The cameraman lost count of the number of times she turned her head, hoping for a glimpse of Jim through the slats of the blinds. And when her time was finally up, she bolted for the door.
Pam burst out of the conference room, only to find Jim’s desk empty, and the rest of the staff staring intently at the break room. With a puzzled frown, she moved back to the front desk, craning her neck to peek into the break room, and spotting Jim in a heated discussion with Karen. Without thinking, she moved closer to the partition that separated her desk from accounting for a better view. “What’s going on?” she whispered to Kevin.
“It’s nobody’s business,” Angela answered stiffly, her eyes trained on her computer screen.
“I think Jim and Karen are fighting,” Kevin said, staring in rapt attention at the drama that was unfolding on the other side of the glass.
Pam chanced another look. She saw Jim standing with his head bowed, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and his shoulders tensed and hunched. His entire posture conveying that he deserved whatever she was saying to him, but when he dared to look up, Pam saw the determined set of his jaw and knew that it whatever Karen had to say would not sway him. When he glanced toward the window, she saw that his expression was calm and blank, offering no hint of consternation about whatever it was Karen was shouting at him. Suddenly, Karen stormed out of the break room stunning the onlookers who had been caught openly staring. She glared at them and they each scurried to their tasks. Pam moved to her chair, and sat down just in time to see Karen staring directly at her over the partition. She averted her eyes, shuffling the message slips that littered her desk, and risking a furtive glance at the break room, only to find it empty.
****
Jim stood in the men’s room at Dunder Mifflin Scranton staring into the mirror, trying to find a hint the man he had been earlier that morning. He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the sink, and looked into his own eyes, searching for shades of doubt. When he couldn’t find any, he wondered if that meant he was losing his mind completely. He had just thrown away a perfectly good relationship with a woman who actually wanted to be with him. He had just walked away from a career opportunity that most guys his age would kill for. He had just gambled it all on the one woman who had crushed him repeatedly, grinding his heart under her pristine white Keds. And yet, it didn’t matter. This was Fancy New Beesly. No Keds anywhere in sight. He shook his head at his own justifications. He knew he should be kicking himself for walking out of David Wallace’s office. He knew he should be begging Karen’s forgiveness, pleading with her to tell him what he could do to make it up to her. He knew that he should be anywhere other than this bathroom in this office in this town.
Logically, he knew he shouldn’t feel this almost giddy excitement over a simple dinner. He knew his heart shouldn’t be hammering in his chest, his breath shouldn’t be coming in puffs of exertion, and his mouth should not be watering at the thought of sitting across from Pam. He’d done it a thousand times before. He knew better than anyone that there was a damn good chance that things were not going to go the way he hoped that they would. But he just couldn’t help it. With a flick of his fingers, he turned on the taps and pulled his sleeves back, letting the cool water rush over the insides of his wrists and down into his palms, hoping to cool that flame of hope just enough to help him hold it all together for just a little while longer.
As he dried his hands, he checked the mirror one more time. “But if it doesn’t happen now, you and me, we’re out of here,” he told himself sternly. “This is it, got it?” he asked his reflection.
He tossed the paper towels into the trash can and walked out of the men’s room, he strode through the break room without looking either left or right, and walked directly to his desk. He kept his head down, focusing intently on the Dunder Mifflin logo that bounced around on his screen. He could feel Karen glaring at him, icy daggers flying. He felt the heat of Pam’s eyes boring into the exposed nape of his neck, making him flush with excitement and anticipation. He sensed the curious stares of the others in the office, but he dared not look up. Instead, he wriggled his mouse and waited for the computer to wake from its nap. As soon as his desktop appeared, so did an instant message from Pam. Without glancing back at her, he read her message and began to respond.
Pbeesly: Are you okay?
Jhalpert: I’m fine.
Pbeesly: You don’t look fine.
Jhalpert: We’ll talk at dinner.
Pbeesly: Okay.
Jim felt the prickle of her intense stare, willing him to turn and look at her, but he couldn’t, knowing that Karen’s gaze was fixed on him as well. A moment later another message appeared.
Pbeesly: We don’t have to.
Jhalpert: Yes we do.
Pbeesly: Okay. Leave from here?
Jhalpert: That would be good.
Pbeesly: Okay.
Pam’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. For the first time since he closed the conference room door, she felt the old doubt and confusion seeping in again. He wouldn’t look at her. He obviously didn’t want to talk about whatever was happening with him via instant messenger. She got up and moved to the fax so that she could get a glimpse of Karen, who continued to stare at him undeterred. Pam frowned, and then flinched as Karen looked over at her. The challenge in the other woman’s eyes was clear. Pam shrunk back, hurrying to her chair; sure that she could still feel the blazing heat of Karen’s anger and resentment. The office was eerily quiet as everyone went about their business, pretending that nothing was wrong.
Forty minutes later, Pam saw Michael’s light on the switchboard go out, and heard his door open. “Ah, you’re back,” he said in a slightly too jovial tone as he spotted Jim at his desk. He wandered over, and perched on the edge of the desk, as he asked in an overly casual tone, “So… How’d it go?”
“No big thing,” Jim answered in a low voice.
“No big thing,” Michael laughed. “Sure it was a big thing. It was a big job, a big step up for a guy like you,” he said as he faked a punch to Jim’s arm. He leaned a little closer and asked in a hushed tone, “Did you choke? Say something wrong? You didn’t mention the potato salad thing, did you?”
“No,” Jim answered with a shake of his head.
Michael leaned back again poking his tongue into his cheek as he rolled his eyes and then speculated, “Well, your numbers were good. Not great, Dwight’s are great, but yours were good, so that probably wasn’t it.” He glanced over and saw Karen watching them and his eyes widened comically as he moaned, “Oh, I see.” He leaned over again and murmured to Jim, “Did they hear about you and Karen? Is that it? That must be it. They didn’t want another Michael and Jan situation on their hands,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “Precedent! There was precedent, Jim.”
“No, no, that wasn’t it,” Jim said quickly.
Michael patted his shoulder, and said in a booming voice, “No need to be ashamed! You aren’t the first man to make the big sacrifice for the woman he loves. To put the needs of the heart and the yearning to feed your very soul before the bodacious appetite of ambition,” he affirmed as he stood up, preparing to launch into a speech.
“No, Michael, I just didn’t want it,” Jim protested, panic rising in his voice.
“Of course you wanted it.” Michael spun around and pointed to Karen as he demanded, “Do you know? Do you know what a lucky, lucky woman you are to have a man, this man, this loving, caring, passionate man?” He took a deep breath and then said, “He gave it all up for you. He knew that you had no shot at the job, so he blew it off. Just blew it off, so that you could be together. So that your love could continue to grow and blossom...” Michael pressed his hand to his mouth as he began to get choked up. “Blossom into the most beautiful, most fragrant, most, uh, petaliest flower of them all!”
“Michael, no!” Jim said loudly as he shot out of his chair, capturing his boss’ attention at last. “I just didn’t think it was right. For me,” he said firmly. “I didn’t think the job was the right fit, so I thanked David Wallace for his time and I came back,” he said, his eyes darting to Pam’s for the first time. “That’s all it was. It just wasn’t right for me.”
Michael looked up at Jim, and then his jaw fell open. “It’s because of Jan, isn’t it? You just couldn’t do that to Jan,” he said in an awed tone. He shook his head slowly and said, “Wait until I tell her. I just got off of the phone with her, and she was so down, but this, when she hears about your loyalty,” Michael choked, pressing his fist to his heart and then thumping his chest twice. “She’ll never forget this. I’ll never forget this,” Michael said as he began to back toward his office. “I’m going to call her right now. You just don’t know what this will mean to her,” he said as he fled to his office, slamming the door behind him.
Jim looked around at his co-workers curious faces and closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. He shrugged slightly and said, “It just wasn’t right for me, I’m not a big city kind of guy.” As they nodded their understanding, Jim sank back down into his chair and raked his hands through his hair, willing the last forty-five minutes of the day to fly by.
He pretended to work, as Pam pretended to fax, and sometimes, answered the phone for real. Finally, Michael stepped out of his office once more with the coat he had worn in that morning over his arm. He bowed slightly to Pam as he said, “I am going home to my lovely girlfriend. Actually, I’m going to stop and pick up some comfort food for her, and then I am going home to comfort her, because that it how you nurture the blossom that is love.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Michael,” Pam said with a nod.
“Sushi! I am getting sushi for my sweetie. The wasabi makes her happy. It’s hot and spicy, just like my girl,” he said as he walked to the door, waving his goodbyes over his shoulder.
Pam glanced over at Jim, dying to make a comment about a woman who thinks that raw fish and seaweed are comfort food, but he didn’t even lift his head as Michael swept out of the office. As soon as the door closed behind him, the others began to rise, one by one, powering down their computers and gathering their belongings for the trip home. Pam waited, watching the back of Jim’s head, hoping for a signal, but he kept his eyes fixed firmly on his screen as his fingers moved slowly and deliberately over the keys. The rest of their colleagues filed out, and soon, there were only Dwight, Karen, Pam and Jim left in the office.
Dwight stood up, and spent two full minutes straightening his desk further, brushing imaginary crumbs from his blotter, making sure that the pens were arranged just how he liked them, and that his phone sat in a perfect ninety degree angle from the edge of his desk. He gathered his briefcase and skirted the desks, pausing in front of Pam with a frown. “It’s late,” he said flatly.
“Yeah, I uh, I just have a couple more things I need to finish up,” she told him.
Dwight sniffed and said, “You should be able to complete your tasks during working hours. If you are not able to do so, you should look into taking a time management course so that you can learn how to more effectively manage your, uh, time,” he finished lamely.
Pam nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, that might be a good idea.”
Dwight scowled as she made no move to leave. “You won’t be paid overtime for this,” he sneered.
“I wasn’t expecting to be,” Pam answered primly.
“Well, as long as that’s understood,” he sniffed and then turned on his heel.
The door closed behind him, the catch of the latch echoing through the tension filled silence that seemed to have expanded exponentially as they realized that they were the only three left. Pam industriously reorganized her file drawer, all the time her mind racing. She wondered if she had misunderstood. That if maybe when Jim said that their dinner plan was a date, he didn’t actually mean a date-date. She waited, worrying that Karen would say something, or start something that she probably didn’t want to hear. Pam poked her head over the partition and saw that Karen was sitting back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest, watching Jim and waiting for him to make a move. Unable to breathe in the super-charged atmosphere that crackled around them, Pam gave up. She pulled her purse from her desk drawer and picked up her umbrella. She stood up and turned off her monitor. When Jim didn’t move a muscle, she sighed softly and said, “Well, I’m going to head home. Goodnight.”
As she walked away from her desk, she saw Jim straighten and turn slightly in the direction of the door. She glanced back as she reached for the handle and saw his jaw clench, the muscle jumping in his cheek as he fought back the urge to say something. When he didn’t she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, drawing in a huge breath and forcing it down into her lungs. She blinked rapidly and then pressed the button for the elevator, praying that she could hold back her tears until she reached the safety of her car.
****
Jim turned to look at Karen, who stared back at him with one eyebrow arched. He pushed back from his desk and stood up before reaching to turn off his computer. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing more I can say. It’s not your fault, and it’s not hers. This one is all on me,” he told her as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He pulled his jacket from the back of his chair and said simply, “I’m in love with her. I probably always will be, whether I want to be or not,” and then turned and walked calmly to the door.
He pushed through the exit in time to see Pam turn out of the parking lot, and hurried to his car. He tossed his jacket and bag into the back seat and plopped down behind the wheel, cranking the ignition and putting it into reverse before the engine even settled into an idle. As he waited to pull out of the lot, he saw Karen emerge from the building, duck her head and walk quickly to her car. He pulled out into traffic, tires squealing as he jammed the accelerator, and headed for Pam’s apartment. He skidded to a halt in front of her building just as Pam was approaching the front door with her key in hand.
Jim leapt from the car calling, “Pam!” When she turned, he jogged across the lawn to catch up with her. “I thought we were having dinner, Beesly,” he said breathlessly.
Pam lowered the hand holding her key and cocked her head as she looked up at him. “Well, I didn’t, um, I wasn’t…” she stammered. She shook her head and wrinkled her nose slightly. “I wasn’t sure?” she said, her voice rising nervously.
“I asked if you were free for dinner, you said yes,” Jim reminded her as he pointed first to himself and then to her. His heart leapt a little as he noticed her bloodshot eyes and the faint pink spots that mottled her cheeks and neck.
“Yeah, but, um,” Pam said, stopping herself by biting her lower lip.
Jim’s lips parted as he stared at her full lip caught between her teeth and struggled to resist the urge to bite it for her. “You don’t want to anymore?” he asked in a crestfallen voice.
“No, I do,” she answered quickly. “I just, things didn’t, it seemed like things weren’t really gonna work out,” she managed at last. “I’m sorry about whatever is going on with you and Karen,” she said as she blinked rapidly, steeling herself to be the friend that he so obviously needed.
“I said it was a date,” he said with quiet conviction.
“A date,” she repeated.
“Yes, I asked you on a date, and you accepted.” When she hesitated, he rocked back onto his heels. “Or you can help me figure out the way for Interpol to get in touch with Dwight for a mission vital to our national security,” he said with a nervous laugh he couldn’t contain. When she looked up at him incredulously, he sobered and his voice dropped an octave as he said, “It’s a date Pam. I want you to go on a date with me.”
“You wouldn’t even look at me,” she said bluntly.
“I couldn’t,” he answered with a slight shrug. “Can we,” he said as he gestured to his car. “I’d like to talk to you.” Pam glanced from him to his car, her mind racing as she tried to put it all together. “Pam, please,” Jim said, his voice cracking slightly as he gestured to the car again.
Pam simply nodded and ducked her head as she walked past him, heading for the Toyota parked at the curb. Jim hurried after her, reaching the passenger door just as she got there, and opening it for her. Pam settled herself into the seat and placed her purse and umbrella carefully on the floorboard as Jim circled the car and then climbed into the driver’s seat. She stared straight ahead as he fitted the key into the ignition, but did not turn it. Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, Jim flexed his fingers as he said, “I just thought that maybe I’d provided enough entertainment for the office and the cameras for one day. That’s why I couldn’t say anything, or even,” he swallowed thickly, “look at you.” He turned toward her and said with a wry smile, “I’ve had enough humiliation captured on film, do you think?”
“Jim,” she began softly.
“This is a date, Pam,” he said again. “Karen and I, we broke up, or I broke up. Broke up with David Wallace too,” he said as he ran his hand over his face. “I didn’t do it for Jan,” he said, his lips quirking into a slight smile as she glanced over at him sharply. “I did it because today someone gave me a little reminder. Funny, because it was a reminder of the one thing, the one person, that I’ll never be able to forget. No matter how hard I try,” he confessed quietly. “And I did try, Pam. I really wanted to, you know, move on,” he told her as his eyes dropped to his lap. “Instead, I made a bigger mess. With Karen, with my job, with you,” he finished as he dared to look up at her shyly.
“Not with me,” she whispered.
Jim nodded slowly, chewing the inside of his cheek as he digested her words. He turned to look her straight in the eye. “Pam, I still love you, and I need to know now, once and for all, if you feel anything, uh, more for me than just friendship.” He watched her eyes widen and said, “It’s fine if you don’t, but I just… I had to give it one last shot. I swear, you’ll never have to hear it again,” he began to ramble.
Pam exhaled in a rush of breath, her lips parted as she looked into his earnest hazel eyes. Before she could stop them, the words spilled out of her. “Say it again,” she urged in a low, breathy voice.
“What?” Jim asked with a confused frown.
“Say it again, Halpert,” she said in a stronger voice. “I double dog dare ya,” she added with tremulous smile.
“I’m in love with you?” he said tentatively.
Pam reached over and pressed her palms to his cheeks, holding him there as she stared intently into his eyes. “Like you mean it,” she whispered.
“I’m in love with you,” Jim repeated in a deep, firm voice.
Pam’s eyes dropped from his eyes to his lips, clearly telegraphing her intent as she leaned in, but Jim’s befuddled brain was slow to catch up. When she pressed her lips to his, he sat stunned for a moment before instinct took over, and he reached for her, pulling her across the console as he kissed her back, his lips sliding softly over hers, drinking her in, savoring the taste of her. He buried one hand in her hair, cradling the nape of her neck as he deepened the kiss, pouring himself into it. Pam’s fingers, slipped from his cheek to his neck, sliding along the collar of his shirt and then playing over the prickle of stubbly hair along his neatly trimmed hairline.
When she pulled away, Jim kept his eyes closed as he asked in a hoarse voice, “Was that a yes?”
“I really hate your haircut,” she answered as she toyed with the ends of his hair.
He slowly opened his eyes to find her face still centimeters from his. “Me too.”
Pam smiled, her eyes warm and soft as it spread, lighting her face. “You mentioned food?” she asked teasingly.
“I did?”
“You did,” she answered firmly. “And Interpol.”
Jim’s smile bordered on giddy as she pulled back, settling into the passenger seat without taking her eyes off of him. Color rose in his cheeks as he reached for the key and turned it in the ignition. “I’m taking you someplace special,” he said with a nod.
“Oh yeah?” she asked as she studied his profile, openly cataloging every bit of him and committing this moment to memory.
He nodded and reached across her to tug at the seatbelt. “Buckle up, Beesly,” he said affectionately.
Pam clicked the seatbelt into place and turned back to him expectantly, unable to wipe the smile from her face as he put the car in gear and carefully pulled away from the curb. Once under way, he glanced over at her with a matching smile, reached over and wrapped his long fingers around her smaller more delicate hand. Pam shifted slightly, pulling her hand away. When he shot her an alarmed glance, she smiled reassuringly and laced her fingers through his, pressing their palms together tightly as they rode in contented silence.
A short time later, Jim turned into a parking lot, and Pam frowned at the sign. “Chili’s?” she asked incredulously.
Jim simply nodded as he pulled his hand gently from hers and steered around to the side of the building, parking a short distance from the rest of the cars. He switched off the engine and turned to her with a slightly sheepish smile. “I thought we’d have our first date where we had our first kiss,” he said with a shrug.
Pam glanced back at the building and then over at him as the memories of that night came flooding back. “I kissed you because I wanted to, not because I was drunk,” she admitted softly. She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “I was so stupid.”
Jim shook his head slowly and reached out to touch her cheek. When she turned to look at him, he shrugged and said, “It just wasn’t time yet.”
Pam blinked back tears as she shook her head and turned to stare blankly out of the window. “No, I was scared. I was petrified,” she confessed.
“Of me?” he asked incredulously.
“No, of me,” she answered. Pam lowered her eyes to her hands clasped tightly in her lap and said, “That I wanted someone that I wasn’t supposed to want, my best friend. That I could have been so wrong about Roy and me.” She chuckled softly and said, “I can be pretty stubborn.”
“I may have noticed that,” Jim commented laconically.
“And you were there, you were always there,” she said, her frustration evident in her voice. “I couldn’t escape it, I didn’t want to. I just didn’t want to… I couldn’t admit how wrong I had been.”
“But we’re here now,” he reminded her gently.
Pam laughed bitterly and said, “Yeah, only two years later.”
“But we’re here,” Jim answered gravely.
Pam turned to look into his earnest face and whispered, “We’re here.”
Jim nodded encouragingly and said in a teasing tone, “And, I hear that they have food in addition to the adult beverages you’re so fond of.”
Pam glanced back at the building again and then said, “I don’t think we’re supposed to go in there. Weren’t we banned or something?”
Jim smirked. “No, you were banned.”
Pam rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, I was banned. You’ll have to pick another romantic spot for our first date. Hey, how about we make a couple of tuna sandwiches and go back to the office. You kissed me there,” she pointed out.
Jim shook his head and said, “Nope. We’re eating here, the scene of your first offense,” he added with a laugh.
“But,” she began to protest.
“Pam, it’s been two years. Aside from the fact that this place has probably turned its entire staff over three times since then, I think it’s time we stop doing what we’ve always done, and start doing what we want to do,” he said solemnly.
“And you want to eat at Chili’s,” she said slowly, trying to puzzle him out.
“I want to take you to Chili’s, get you an Awesome Blossom and some baby back ribs, and then I want to kiss you the way I really wanted to kiss you that night,” he told her.
Pam’s face softened as she reached up and brushed his hair forward with her fingers, arranging it over his forehead in an attempt to search out a little bit of her Jim. “You’re not gonna sing the rib song are you?” she asked as she gazed at him tenderly.
Jim chuckled and said, “Well, I wasn’t, but now that you said that, I’m afraid it may be stuck in my head.”
Pam leaned in and kissed him again, brushing her lips over his gently. “Better?” she asked in the barest whisper.
“I’m not sure,” he replied softly. “Try it again.”
Pam pressed her lips to his, sighing softly as he parted his slightly, drawing her in. One hand tangled in her hair as he traced the curve of her jaw with the other, trailing his fingertips over her soft skin. Pam moaned, a strangled whimper trapped in the back of her throat, and it reverberated through him like an explosion. Jim parted her lips with his, touching the tip of his tongue to hers, asking for permission that was eagerly granted. His tongue tangled with hers as they kissed hungrily, but trying to tamp down the aching need that had been trapped for so long. Pam unclipped her seatbelt, leaning further over the console, desperate to get closer to him. Jim’s arms slipped around her, pulling her to him, his fingers splayed possessively over her back, urging her to press against him. Pam mewed softly in frustration as she captured his full lower lip, drawing it into her mouth urgently. His hand slid down her back to the narrow span of her waist, pausing there momentarily as she bit gently on his lip. With a groan that sounded more like a growl, Jim cupped her bottom, ready to haul her over the console and into his lap.
Suddenly, Pam drew back, her eyes wide with shock, as he blinked at her blearily, trying to clear the fog of desire that shrouded his mind. A giggle escaped her as she stared into his heavily lidded eyes. Jim cocked his head questioningly and she smiled even as a blush crept up her neck and into her cheeks. “Oh my god, we are totally making out in the Chili’s parking lot,” she gasped.
Jim chuckled as he said, “You’re right, we are.” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and asked, “You trying to get me banned too?”
Pam’s laughter bubbled up as she said, “Your hand is on my butt.”
“Yes, it is,” Jim confirmed in a deep voice, but did not move the hand in question as he started to laugh too.
Pam shook her head as she gazed at him adoringly and asked, “Did I tell you that I love you too?”
Jim’s smile brightened another hundred watts as he said, “No, I don’t believe you did.”
Pam nodded and said, “I may hate the haircut, but I think the guy is pretty great.”
“Yeah, but are you ever gonna tell me, Beesly?” he asked with a pointed look.
Pam narrowed her eyes at him and smiled smugly as she said, “Maybe. Someday,” in a sassy tone. She flopped back into her seat, shooting him a look when his hand ended up trapped beneath her. Jim simply shrugged and pulled his hand away, his cocky smile warring with the flush of color in his cheeks. “You mentioned food?” Pam asked as she primly folded her hands in her lap.
“I did. I did,” Jim answered with a nod. He smiled at her and said, “If you’re done attacking me, I think it’s time that we break the ban on Chili’s.”
“I think I’m done for now,” Pam answered as she pretended to give it serious thought.
Jim took her hand from her lap and pulled it to his lips, kissing the back tenderly before brushing his lips softly over her knuckles. “This is gonna be fun,” he said, his eyes clearly conveying a deeper meaning.
“It is,” she answered with a happy smile.
Jim nodded once and said in a determined tone, “Come on, we’re gonna have the most beautiful, most fragrant, most petaliest Awesome Blossom Chili’s has ever produced.”
Pam laughed and asked, “Are we gonna nurture it?”
Jim shook his head as he released her hand and reached for the door handle. “I plan to savor every bit of it,” he said as he opened the door and unfolded his lanky frame from the seat. He skirted the front of the car, his eyes seeking hers through the windshield as he hurried for her door. He held it open, offering his hand palm up for her assistance.
Pam placed her fingertips delicately in his hand and smiled as she rose from the car. She caught his fingers in hers, holding his hand in place as she looked him in the eye and said, “Thanks, but I think I can manage on my own.” When she saw the confused frown crease his brow, she lifted his hand to her lips and placed a sweet kiss to the center of his palm. Gently she folded his fingers over the spot, holding the kiss in as she said, “It’s good to know that you’re still here though, in case I need a hand.”
“Anytime,” he said as he closed the passenger door. Jim draped his arm over her shoulders in a move that was both friendly and intimate. His closed fist held her kiss tightly as he drew her closer and bent to press a kiss to her temple as they started for the door. When Pam smiled up at him, Jim raised his eyebrows and sang in a deep voice, “I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Although I am not new to the world of fan fiction, this is my very first story for The Office. I just had to dip my toe into my new obsession. Special thanks to Robinpoppins for the beta advice. I hope that you like it. Please let me know what you think!
Chapter End Notes:
That's it! What did you think?
JAMhands is the author of 14 other stories.
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