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Dear Pam,
So, my pen pal is an artist. I have to say that’s kinda cool, because, to be totally honest with you, my stick figures can’t hold up to those of a fifth grader. I’m sure you’re a great artist – not just anyone’s sketches get hung up on the bulletin board, right? – but I’d like some proof. And I know that sounds pretty harsh, but I really want to see your sketches! (Plus I’ve been bragging to almost everyone I know about how awesome you are, and I kinda want to know if I’m right.)
Ah, college. You sort of sounded like my mom in that question. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s a cool mom, but the topic of college can put a lot of pressure on certain people. (One of those people being me.) I don’t actually know if I want to go to college. I mean, I don’t have a passion or anything. I sort of like to write, and if I go I’d probably major in journalism. (My English grade rocks. Thank you Mr. Smith.) I might want to be a middle school teacher. I’ve been a part of this peer tutoring program with the neighboring middle school, and I love the kids. So…yeah. I’ve applied to a few colleges. I don’t know if I’m going to get accepted (the letters come next month).
And that’s pretty much my entire plan for the future. If I don’t go to college… well then I have no idea what I’ll do. I just picked up some dead end job, and I guess I’ll stick to that if the whole college thing doesn’t happen.
As a closing statement to the whole college thing: keep up your grades! I know, cheesy, but if you want to go to college, they look at grades from junior year. I did not know that first semester, which is probably why the college thing isn’t set in stone for me.
I just thought of something to write. Something really funny happened to me the other day. It was kind of weird, but I thought you might get a laugh out of it. I was just riding my bike, like any other normal day, because my cheap, old car decided not to work. (It hates me.) So, while I was biking, I wasn’t really paying attention… so I biked right into a ditch. I know, I know, it’s pathetic, but it’s not like I could help it! I was just biking along and then BAM. Ditch. Out of nowhere. I don’t think that I will be biking to school anymore…
Okay. As for my closing statement for this whole letter: Can’t wait to see your amazing art, Beesly!
-Jim
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Dear Jim,
Biking into a ditch? Really? That's pretty lame. I mean, I’m pretty clumsy and all – I walk into things all the time – but I have never biked into a ditch. I hope that you wore a helmet! I read this story about a guy who was biking without a helmet and then he got hit by a truck and died. Now that I think about it, he probably still would have died with a helmet on, but it would probably have been less bloody…
Anyways. Talk about putting pressure on me! I THINK I’m a decent artist, but you’re just going to have to judge for yourself. I attached a sketch I did last night to the back of this letter. Take a look at it when you get the chance, but don’t laugh at me if you think it’s horrible. I drew my cat, Archie. He’s the most adorable thing. He has huge green eyes and whenever he mews he always swipes his paw in the cutest way. (And now you probably think I’m a crazy cat lady. I just love my Archie!) I especially love sketching him when he sleeps, and that’s exactly what I did.
Oh, if only my English grade rocks. I’m only good at reading off-beat plays and books and writing crappy reports about them. I wish I could write well. Journalism sounds like a really cool career! Have you been practicing? Writing any articles? If so, I think it would only be fair if you sent me something you’ve written, since I sent you a sketch. I don’t care what you wrote, but I would love to read it. Plus, I bet you rock. All of your letters to me have been well-written and funny, which is always a perk when you’re reading. I love funny.
You sound so calm about your college applications. I would be tearing my hair out if I sent out applications and haven’t gotten them back yet. But I don’t do well with waiting. I’m probably the most impatient person you’ll ever meet… so finish reading this, then hurry up and write me back!
Thanks for the heads up about junior year. They told me, but I didn’t really pay any attention. I will definitely work on that B-minus in bio, because I actually want to go to college. Unlike you, you slacker.
We just had school pictures, and my teacher told me to include mine in this letter, because apparently we’re very “close” pen pals. So… here is my mortifying junior year picture. (I put my e-mail on the back so that we can keep in touch.) I hope I’ll get to see your picture, too!
And wow. No one’s ever called me by my last name before. I sort of like it. So… I’ll talk to you soon, Halpert!
Your friend,
Beesly, a.k.a. Pam(ela), a.k.a. the crazy cat lady
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Dear Pam,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I hope you dressed up. I definitely did. I was… Tylenol! You know, like from Osmosis Jones? Yeah, it was genius.
Wow. Nice picture! I love the curly hair/red turtleneck ensemble. And the glasses are pretty cool, too. I’m just excited because now I get to match a dorky face to a dorky personality. And yes, I just called you a dork.
I gotta say “wow” one more time. You are a FANTASTIC artist, Pam! Archie is adorable. I love the way he scrunches up his nose when he’s sleeping. I’ve never seen him, but it looks to me like you captured him perfectly. I’m bragging like crazy to everyone, just so you know. They all think I’m crazy for taking this project so seriously… but what can I say? I have a really cool pen pal.
I’m not that calm, to be totally honest with you. I’m not going crazy (or ripping my hair out), but I’m a little nervous. Because honestly, I don’t want to stay at the same dead end job my whole life. Really, who would want that? I have about a week more of waiting to do for my first letter to come back. The school I’m gonna hear back from is pretty versatile – I can major in education or journalism.
And I don’t NOT want to go to college. I’m just… not sure yet. It’s a lot of choices right now! There are a lot of pluses to staying here, and there are a lot of pluses to go to New York. I’ve been to New York before and it’s a really nice place, but I don’t know if I would want to live there for four years you know?
So… you’re definitely sure you want to go to college? Gonna major in art?
Oh boy. Okay. I’ll send over a portfolio piece I wrote at the beginning of this month, but be warned, it’s not that great. I have a friend, Max, who said it was funny, and you like funny, right? So… be honest with me. Tell me what you think of it in the next letter, okay?
And you’re not getting my high school picture. You’ll never talk to me again if you see how completely dorky I am!
Alright. I have to go finish my midterm project… I couldn’t wait to write you back, so I took a break. I do have to go and get it done, though. See you later!
Your friend,
The bottle of Tylenol
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Dear Jim,
Tylenol? How did you manage that?! I was a teddy bear… but I made it interesting! I had a moustache. The cool French kind, with the swirls.
I read your article. I LOVE IT! You had me cracking up! I think you should send that story to some sort of magazine or newspaper or op ed column or SOMETHING. If you used that piece to apply for college then I think you definitely have a chance of getting in. And speaking of college, you probably got your letters by now! What’s the verdict?
And I almost definitely want to go to college. I might major in art, but it’s not a very promising career, you know? I may be living in a box on a street corner if I want to pursue art as a career. I might do art, but something safe, like graphic design. I’m taking a graphic design elective and it’s really fun.
From one dork to another: I’m sure your picture is adorable. I mean, adorkable!
Since you can’t hear me right now, I’m going to have to tell you that I just sighed. I have a huge headache, so I won’t be able to write a lot more, but I’m managing. I got hit in the head in gym the other day while we were playing dodge ball. Whoever invented that stupid game was an idiot.
My teacher just told me that we only have two more pen pal letters left, and then the project is over. And we barely even talked about anything cool! Talk about something cool in the next letter because the bell just rang and I have to wrap this up.
I will be awaiting your next letter (and adorkable yearbook picture!)
Your friend,
Pam
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Wow. We really haven't updated this thing in a while... we're so sorry! This chapter's a bit longer than the last, so maybe that'll make up for the lack of updates? If anyone's still reading, can y'all please take some time to give us a little feedback about this chapter and the story in general? Thanks!
Chapter End Notes:
Reviews make my day! (That was BSan talking. I'm pretty sure Morine likes them, too.)
