***

in fact, i'm in love with italian food..

Jim lights the last candle and stands back to admire his handiwork, grinning. Yeah, he didn't do too bad if he had anything to say about it.

He stole a quick glance at the clock and nodded approvingly. Just in the nick of time. Pam would be home from her class in about.. oh, 5 minutes. Awesome.

The entire house's only light were the candles that sat on the dining room table and in various places around the living room like the mantle and the side tables and even the window sills. (He rolled up the curtains, 'cause you know, possible fire hazard and all.) The night's main course would be the only thing he could cook decently; lasagna and garlic bread to accompany a tall bottle of red wine. He cooked, okay bought whatever, one of Pam's favorite desserts, strawberry cheesecake and he's pretty sure that alone would get him laid.

Not that he was after that, really. One can cook an entire meal with wine and candles without that single intention in mind. Seriously. But if it DID happen.. holla.

He hears her car in the driveway and makes sure the oven is off because he can't remember if the turned it off before he rushes to the door to greet her. He has it opened halfway because it's a little cold outside but holds it wider when she reaches the entryway.

Her frizzy hair is hidden under her hat, her cheeks rosy, and her smile bright. "Hey you!" She kisses him for as long as she can as she walks past him, into the house.

She's taking off her gloves when she does a half-circle, glancing around the room. "Did the power go out or something?"

Jim smiles, rolling his eyes. He helps her take off her coat and throws it on the couch, leading her to the table in the dining room. "I know your lecture was probably really enthusing and the last thing you want to do is sit in the dark but I'm feeding you so deal with it."

Pam grins. "You made dinner?" She scans the table. "Aww, lasagna. Did you manage not to burn it this time?"

"Hey, I remember that not being entirely all my fault. You shouldn't have distracted me. I'm a weak man, Pam. Weak."

"But still. Impressive."

She slides off her shoes and claps her hands giddily as she sits down in the chair. She takes a sip of her wine and smiles as Jim sits across from her. "This is fantastic, really. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jim grins, also taking a drink from his glass. "Now if you want to spend the rest of night listing all the ways I'm awesome, I have no problem with that."

"Oh, whew. Thanks, I was really worried about conversation."

"I'm glad to help."

Pam smirks and takes a bite of the pasta, nodding approvingly. She takes another drink of the wine and sighs. "It's delicious. But I have to ask, what's the occasion?"

"To celebrate my awesomeness."

"Okay, seriously, you have to stop that."

Jim shrugs his shoulder and takes a moment before answering. "I don't know, I just don't think we've had a night like this in a while. I mean, we have dinner all the time and go on random dates but nothing like this. Plus it's in our new house and we're engaged and.. yeah.

Pam shakes her head, kind of amazed her heart still does that flutter thing when it hits her, yet again, how amazing he really is. She doesn't think she'll ever get tired of that realization. She's indeed a lucky girl. "I guess you are kind of awesome. Kind of."

"I told you. Anyway, I figure it's the last romantic thing I do before we get married and you start wearing sweats and we stop having sex because why do that when I could be sleeping."

Pam laughs. "Oh my god, please don't let that be us."

"Something tells me that we won't have a problem with that."

***

They're into a second bottle of wine and her head is feeling a little fuzzy and she keeps giggling because, well, why not, and Jim's funny. He's always funny. He always makes her laugh. Jim's the best.

So she tells him. "You're the best."

"What? No, you're the best!"

"Tell me."

"What?"

"Tell me all about how I'm the best."

They're sitting next to each other on the couch, leaning back against it, and they're each holding their glasses and he turns his head to look at her and finds that she's completely serious.

"Really? You like, want me to list your positive attributes?"

"My what?"

"Attributes."

"Please don't stop saying that word. You're so cute when you say that word."

"Oh my god," Jim laughs. "You are so cut off."

"Hee, I love that you still blush whenever I tell you you're cute."

"Wow."

"You are even cuter when you blush."

"Would you stop it!?"

Pam giggles because even though she won't admit it out loud, she is kind of drunk (she could never hold her liquor well) and because, yeah, he is really cute when he blushes. Among other things. "Do you even know just how endearing it is that you don't even know how ridiculously hot you are?"

"Did you sneak a couple of glasses when I wasn't looking? Like I was in the bathroom and you just chugged a whole bottle or something?"

"And that you shrug off compliments with lame jokes? It's adorable."

Jim rolls his eyes and he's not entirely sure he hasn't stopped smiling in the past hour. Dinner went great and he couldn't remember the last time they had just hung out like this, enjoying each other and drinking too much and just. He thinks he could literally spend the rest of his life having every night be like this and he'd die a happy man with a life well spent.

"I love you."

He says it so softly that Pam almost doesn't hear him and he's looking at her, a slight wistful smile on his face and it reminds her of a time at a poker table and going all in. She sees everything on his face, in one simple glance; of wonder and amazement and love, and it hits her so hard, and she sometimes just doesn't know how to deal with being loved so much, so effortlessly, so easily.

She's not so sure she'll ever deserve it.

Pam smiles and leans towards him and he meets her halfway, like he's waiting for her, and their lips meet and she's grinning against his mouth and he laughs but then her mouth opens and. It was supposed to be a simple kiss but somehow the wine glasses get put on the table, and her hands are around his waist and he's halfway on top of her, all done without breaking contact. It's actually kind of impressive.

After a few moments, they break apart briefly, Jim leans his forehead against hers and they're breathing hard and Pam inhales deeply. She's inching his tee-shirt up and up and trying her best to get it over his head but he's otherwise occupied with her jeans and she sighs.

"We should go to the bedroom."

"That's effort."

"But if we go now, we won't have to leave the rest of the night."

Jim stops and lifts his head to look at her. "I like the way you think." He moves off of her, slowly but surely, and stands.. slightly wobbly as he offers his hand to her.

Pam grins as he pulls her to her feet and kisses him when she stands. "I know, I'm awesome."

"I love you so much for your modesty."

She grabs his hands and pulls him towards her as she guides them to their room, walking backwards. They're kissing and Pam backs away a moment, "Did you blow out the candles?"

"Yes."

She wraps her arms around his neck as they back into the bedroom and in a quick stride, she falls down on the bed, giggling softly, and his hands are under her shirt and over her breasts and her breath quickens.

"Thank you for tonight. It was really great."

"You're welcome. And for the grand finale.."

"That might have been the worst thing you've ever said."

"Why are we still talking?"

She pulls him to her and kisses him soundly. "Touche, my friend, touche."

***

Pam loves them best when it's like this. Because they don't often have nights like these, and work and life can get in the way, she loves them together like this; tangled into each other and their thoughts and secrets are spoken in the dark and how it always feels like nothing could ever get in the way of them together in their own private world.

She thinks maybe it's because when she dreamed about him and them together, it was always of this. Totally much better than the dream version, by the way. She'll never get tired of it.

"So, wow."

"Indeed." She ruffles his hair as she's glances at him, smiling, and he's got a goofy, sated grin on his face, obviously very pleased with himself. "I think that might be a new record or something."

His hands are loosely and possessively wrapped around her waist, tapping his fingers against her hip bone as she rests against his arm. "Possibly. I lost count a few hours ago."

Pam laughs. "Yeah, I think you're right. There's no way marriage could slow us down."

"Psft. I wouldn't allow it."

"Really?"

"You're pretty cute yourself too, Beesly. And I think you know of my weakness for red-headed receptionists slash artists."

"Yeah, that's true. It's like, your kryptonite."

She yawns and he wraps his hands around her tighter, pulling her closer. "Sleepy?"

Pam nods, laying her head against his chest, closing her eyes. "Yeah, you wore me out."

"But I also fed you."

"I know. You're too good to me."

Jim kisses her temple and covers them both with the blankets, settling himself against her.

He loves them when the most they're like this, all wrapped into each other, hidden away from the world and they talk, sometimes about absolutely nothing, but it's just them. It always feels like a bad day is made better when it ends like this, and he loves that he always has it to look forward to every day.

It was what he thought about when it was just him in his bed and he would think about the almosts, and the maybes, and what-ifs and wondered if he would ever have this.

He pulls her closer to him and when she falls asleep, he stays awake for a long while listening to her softly snore and thinks about he will never, ever take it for granted.

***