Author's Chapter Notes:
This is a short chapter before the last one. I already started that one, so hopefully a quick update. I might be deterred from writing due to the 1 hour episode tonight! Enjoy.
Hangovers really are the sweetest things. They’re just reminders of the how much you messed up the night before, and boy did I mess things up with Pam. I am really unsure of what I was thinking, but the whole night culminated to one slightly drunken kiss that I’ve come to regret.
She had gone home to Roy. I wasn’t going to ask her to stay. That would’ve been pointless and irrelevant to the point I had been trying to prove to her. I’m not really sure if by going home, she had picked Roy or if it was just something that she had to do. Maybe it was her way of keeping with her routine: Pam and her damn habits.
Creatures of habit, like Pam, reminded me of Isaac Newton’s theories. Pam was like an object in motion that stayed in motion until acted on by an outside force. Her problem, though, was that she’d never found an outside force strong enough to stop her motion.
I tried and tried, really, for years to subtly hint to Pam that I might be her friction, that I could stop her continuous movement, but she never picked up on anything. She kept on rolling with no real goal in mind, just a hope that there would be no obstacles in her path.
And it got me to thinking. Maybe I was an obstacle, and Pam chose to ignore me. Rather then stopping, she kept diverting her path in order to avoid me and what I brought to her life. It kind of makes me feel better to think that way, though. It’s good to know that she’s aware that I am there, rather than being totally oblivious to me because sooner or later, I am going to present her with a barrier that’s too difficult to ignore. Maybe I will become a moat, or a canyon, and there will be no way around me. One day she will have to acknowledge the fact that I am there and she can’t keep constantly moving.
Laying on my couch thinking this made my head hurt worse. Why did I always go into this philosophical bullshit with Pam? Maybe I thought our relationship was too complex to put into words, or maybe it was just too complex because we made it that way.
I searched in my cabinet for some relief from the pounding in my temples, but the medicine cabinet was bare. Just great. I was already late for work, so what was the problem with stopping at the CVS on the way in?
I dressed in a hurry, forgetting to shower and shave, because honestly I could go for a rugged look this morning. I’m pretty sure I broke all traffic laws on my way to the CVS, but luckily there were no cops on patrol. Oh just how lucky I truly am.
I downed three Tylenol on my way to my car, and was final able to relax as I backed my car out of the parking space and headed to Dunder Mifflin.
I didn’t really know what to say to Pam when I entered the office, and I spent the better part of the ride over thinking of something that would sound anything other than idiotic.
I could always try a simple “Hey Pam” or “How are you, Pam?”, but that would be me trying to ignore what happened, and I was sick of that bullshit. Maybe a “We should really talk about last night,” would suffice. She might think of something to say first, saving me the trouble. Really, I had to get things out the in the open. It was long over due.
I had just about settled for “Pam, about last night…” when I opened the Dunder Mifflin door. There was one major problem, though, Pam wasn’t at her desk.
I wasn’t early, obviously, so there wasn’t really an explanation as to why she wasn’t sitting at reception like every other awful morning I walk through those doors.
Nonchalantly, I walked over to my desk, hoping no one noticed my semi-surprised face due to her absence. Michael walked by and I beckoned for him.
“Hey, Michael. Is Pam here today?”
“Ah, no, Jimbo. She actually called in sick today, the flu or something. Dwight was suspicious, but I know we can trust Pam.”
“Yeah, definitely. OK.”
“So how was your night, any good stories? Get totally wasted and do something you probably shouldn’t have?” If only he knew.
“I actually have a lot of work to do, so, uh, maybe we can tell drunken stories later.”
“I’m going to hold you to that!”
“Alright, Michael.” His total naivete never ceased to amaze me.
Really, though, where was Pam? Was she chickening out on me? I had shown up, and I had done the most of either of us. I should be the one not showing up, and she should be the one sitting here wondering where I was and what I was doing.
I checked my computer screen, 9:29, how was I going to last some seven odd hours here without her?
I took a quick glance at Dwight, and he was glaring at me.
“You were 27 minutes late today, Jim. I am adding that to your total time of latenesses, and let me tell you, this will not go unpunished.”
“Hey, Dwight, how about this? I am going to walk out right now, and then you can put me down for 8 hours of absence. Let me now how that goes.”
“Jim! Michael! Jim’s leaving.”
“What? Jim, where are you going?” Michael looked kind of concerned. It was almost heartwarming.
“Uh, Michael, there’s actually a few things I have to do.”
Michael looked unfazed, so I continued,
“They relate to my drunken episode last night.”
He smiled at that one. “Alright, Jimpants, but you’re going to have to tell me about this one later.”
“No problem.” And out the door I went. I was stopping at my house, and then I didn’t even know where I was going. Maybe I would make some grand entrance into her apartment. Roy wouldn’t be there, so there wouldn’t be any danger. It didn’t really matter where I was headed because my feet were not planning on stopping until I reached her.
Our little game was officially ending.
Chapter End Notes:
There's one more to come!
