It was three in the morning.
The baby was crying, and the toddler was pacing around his room.
Dan was away on business, and she'd been up to her elbows in spaghetti sauce and diapers the whole night.
She felt like she should be overwhelmed.
But she wasn’t.
This was life now. This was who she'd become. A wife. A mommy.
She took pictures at t-ball games. She bought baby wipes in bulk. She took the boys on Sunday morning drives through the mountains, and every third weekend of the month they spent on Long Island with Grammy and Granddad.
She lived in a nice sized house in a good suburban neighborhood. It looked nothing like the brownstone in the city that she grew up in, but it felt the same to her. It felt like she was home.
Her job was pretty simple. David Wallace had her almost convinced to apply for another corporate position, but she denied him the request.
She was happy where she was.
It was an odd feeling as she stood in front of the window, a soft breeze slowing from the west, the sky black, dotted with bright white stars. The crest of the moon was just a sliver, and it reminded her of being a kid at summer camp, sleeping outside with her friends. Long after the campfire had gone out, they’d imagine what kinds of jobs they’d have when they were grownups, what kind of husband, how many kids, what they’d be doing for hobbies.
She never believed she'd settle where she was. In a little town in New York, far from the hustle and bustle of the city she loves, married with 2 kids and an SUV. This is never how she saw her life playing out.
When she was young, she had a picture of what her life was going to be like. In a high rise apartment overlooking Central Park. A Mercedes parked in an uptown garage that cost more than she'd admit to herself. A boyfriend here and there, but being self-sufficient. Seeing family occasionally, but liking that she needed no one but herself.
Now she can sit on a Friday night and be perfectly happy watching her husband sleeping on the couch.
But tonight he was away, and the baby just wouldn’t sleep, and Nicky felt bad for his little brother, so he wouldn’t go to bed until the crying stopped. She paced in time with the three year old in the next room, rocking the infant swaddled in a blue chenille blanket in her arms, stroking his downy dark hair and prayed the wailing would subside before it drove her completely insane.
She turned from the window and snuggled the baby closer, and glanced at the artwork in the room. Bears and miscellaneous animals in shades of blue and gray in black frames. She thought of what the artwork would have been in her sky rise dream. Probably bold splashes of color, not angry, but intense. On a plain white wall, they’d be focal points, showing her guests what type of woman she was. Independent. Strong. Free.
She thought of the other artwork in her home now. Finger paintings in primary colors on the fridge. Coloring book scribbles in a scrapbook on the coffee table. Clumps of clay in indistinguishable figures on the entertainment center shelves.
She liked what was real a lot better than anything she’d ever had in her dreams.
The baby’s cries turned several decibels higher, his anguish evident in the tear streaked red cheeks, his arms pushing against the swaddled blanket.
“Shhhh, baby, it’s okay…” She whispered to him, his howling louder than ever. “Oh baby boy, you have got to stop crying…”
She held him close, and settled into the rocker next to his crib, knowing that he wasn’t wet, but thinking maybe he was just hungry. He’d pushed from her breast earlier sooner than he’d done before, but all the books said when baby was full, baby would stop eating. Nicky had certainly done that.
She unbuttoned her blouse, and baby wiggled closer to her, his mouth anxiously twitching, his tears subsiding.
Hmm. Guess he was hungry.
He closed his eyes and started to suck, and the silence against her ears could have been louder than his wailing.
So much for motherly instinct. Motherly instinct could have helped her three hours ago when baby started this marathon session of tears.
But now he was silent, his little hands pressed against her breast, gulping greedily. She wiped the wetness from his cheeks with the pad of her thumb, and stared down at him adoringly.
He was going to look like Dan.
Everyone said Nicky looked like her, and she could see it. From the dark hair, to the dark eyes, the chin, the nose… It was her, all the way.
But the baby? The baby was Dan. His ears, his temperament, his pudgy little cheeks. He had been the best baby since he’d been born just four weeks earlier, the second light of their lives, and their family was complete.
There was no way to describe the feeling in her stomach when she held him for the first time in her hospital bed, cradling him, brand new and smelling sweet and baby powder fresh. When Nicky jumped up into the bed, and kissed his new little brother on the head, her eyes welled in tears and her breath caught in her throat.
Dan had leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple, whispering, “I love you, Mommy,” into her hair.
And nothing could have been better than that.
This was her life, she realized. She slowed her rocking to listen for Nicky in the next room. The floorboards were silent. She pictured him asleep on the small throw rug in his bedroom.
Dan would be home in the morning. And they’d probably take their boys to the park. Dan and Nicky would swing on the swings, and she’d sit on a bench and coo at the infant in her arms. The sun would beam down on them, and she’d put a baseball cap on Nicky – New York Mets, to match his Daddy’s. They’d come back to their little house and they’d barbeque some chicken, and a hot dog for Nicky, World’s Pickiest Eater, and maybe they’d go for some ice cream that night in the fall air.
It’d be wonderful.
Just like her life had turned out.
Things had been bad and good, easy and hard, sad and full of joy. It’d been simple and complex, black, white and Technicolor.
It was everything she’d never dreamed of.
But it was so much better than everything she had.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi Guys!!
I decided on one more chapter of the Karen story. Hope everyone enjoys it :)
Karen and Dan aren't mine. Nicky and baby are. So there, Office writers. But for the right price, I might loan them to you ;)
FYI: the right price includes any and all rights to JAM and their future. I'm just sayin'.
I decided on one more chapter of the Karen story. Hope everyone enjoys it :)
Karen and Dan aren't mine. Nicky and baby are. So there, Office writers. But for the right price, I might loan them to you ;)
FYI: the right price includes any and all rights to JAM and their future. I'm just sayin'.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading!! Reviews are appreciated :)
stjoespirit04 is the author of 25 other stories.
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