“Too boring. Harper?”
“I like it…Lucy?”
“Yeah. Jayden?”
“Maybe. Nicholas?”
“Nicholas Reinardt always used to pull my hair in first grade, so no. Lila?”
“That’s pretty. Meagan?”
“That’s as boring as Jessica. Brock?”
“Ew. Heath?”
Olivia, Jackson, Gavin, and Madeleine Halpert were sprawled about the family room, bored out of their minds on the blazing summer day that was so scorching, even venturing to the pool was out of the question. Liv was stretched on one of the black leather couches with Boomer curled up on her stomach as Maddie lay on the floor, a notebook in front of her as she furiously scribbled down possible baby names. The Halpert girls were set on finding the perfect name for the new baby; the baby that had kind of grossed them out but more or less they secretly couldn’t wait to meet.
Meanwhile, Jack flipped through the channels, disappointed in the Wednesday afternoon line-up. Listening to his sisters go over possible names for the new baby was not on his list of top-ten summer activities, but it was better than anything that was on. Gavin eyed the television sleepily from his spot on the love seat adjacent to the couch, half listening to the nonsense his sisters were coming up with.
“Guys, seriously, stop picking stupid names.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Harper? Heath? Brock?” Think about how they would sound with ‘Halpert’. Heath Halpert is the dumbest name I’ve ever heard. And Mom and Dad would never go for it.”
“Yeah, it would be such a Kelly move,” Liv concluded. Kelly Kapoor no longer worked at Dunder Mifflin, though she too was well-known in the Halpert household. She’d married a few years after Jim and Pam and was busy raising her own brood of celebrity-named children, something that never ceased to be funny.
“Dane?”
“Yeah. Micah?”
“Good one. Ian?”
“Not so much…Ethan?”
“Better. Emma?”
“That’s pretty. Felicity?”
“Well…Talia?”
The game went on for a while longer, some names eliciting groans while others were met with immediate approval by even the boys. There were plenty of names they agreed on, and some that weren’t even recorded. Jim and Pam had told the four that they could have a hand in naming the new baby, but they would still have final veto-power. Hence, the kids were set on finding the perfect name that their parents wouldn’t want to pass up.
Later that evening, long after the kids had gone to bed, Jim and Pam were relaxing on the same couches their children had occupied hours earlier. Jim sat upright, one long arm stretched along the back of the couch. Pam leaned into him, her legs curled beneath her and her head on his shoulder. The long list of names that Maddie and Liv had spent the afternoon writing lay on Pam’s lap. There were a few crossed out, some even blacked out completely – Gavin and Jack had vetoed more than a couple. They’d also added a few of their own, just for kicks. Jim pointed to the one of those, grinning.
“I like that one.”
“Are you kidding?” Pam stared up at him incredulously, wondering where her husband had gone and who this new person was. “Herbert Halpert? No. On so many levels, no, no, no.”
“Aw come on Beesly, we can call him Herbie.”
“And if he turns out to be a she?” Pam raised an eyebrow.
“Herbert..a? Yeah, Herberta. It’s a real name.”
Ignoring the last comment, Pam made a genuine suggestion, pointing to one of the first names on the list. “This works for a girl or a boy.”
“I like it, but all our other monsters have gender-specific names. I kind of want this one to be the same.” Jim kissed Pam’s temple, his arm sliding off the length of the couch and tightening around her shoulders. “How about that one for a boy, or this one if we have a girl?”
Pam contemplated his legitimate offerings, glad that neither Herbert nor Herberta were actually among his top picks. “Well…this one yes, but I’m not a big fan of the second one. How about this instead?”
“I could live with either one. So it’s settled then?”
Pam tilted her head, beaming up at Jim. Five children had never been part of their plan, not even close. Even Maddie had been a little bit of a surprise, but this fifth one – the absolute last one – was the biggest surprise of all.
“Yeah, it’s settled. Our baby has a name.”
“Technically two, you know, since we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet.”
Pam rolled her eyes. “Technicalities. Whatever.”
He winked at Pam, this time brushing his lips again hers. “Just sayin’…”
