Pam shook her head, a hand resting atop her belly and setting the book on the nightstand. “She’s resting.”
The decision to have a third baby was not one Jim and Pam had reached lightly. Jim had always wanted a big family – for his basketball team of course – Pam was content with two. They’d eventually compromised at four; ideally hoping for two boys and two girls, but would be happy with healthy babies, period. They didn’t know the sex yet, hence the back and forth banter, but were ready to find out at the next appointment in just a few weeks.
“Good.” Jim leaned over and kissed Pam’s forehead as he turned off the lamp, casting the room into darkness. Lifting the covers on his side, Jim slipped into bed and Pam maneuvered herself so she was lying down with her back to her husband. Jim’s arm was around her then, his fingers splayed out over her stomach and his face buried in the crook of her neck, kissing her softly.
“Olivia was so excited when I told her I could feel her sister moving. She was pretty disappointed that she couldn’t feel it yet though.” Pam murmured, lacing her fingers through Jim’s.
“She’s also going to be pretty disappointed when she finds out she’s actually getting a little brother, not a little sister.” The low soothing tone of Jim’s voice was enough to slowly lull Pam into a fitful sleep. They talked quietly a few more minutes until Pam’s light snoring ended the conversation and within a few moments Jim followed her into slumber.
Pam awoke with a start, breaking out into a cold sweat. The pain was unbearable and she took a few deep breathes, trying to relax. Jim stirred then, Pam’s movement jarring him from sleep.
“Pam, what is it? Are you okay?” He sat up beside her, a hand on her arm and she grimaced in pain, clutching her stomach.
“I don’t know, Jim, something….something’s wrong…” She winced again and threw back the covers to get up, only to find her tan pajama bottoms stained with blood. “Jim! Oh my God, Jim! Jim!”
Jim struggled to remain calm as he stared at Pam, unable to tear his eyes away. Finally her frantic cries brought him back to reality. He got up and grabbed his cell phone, dialing his parents’ quickly. As it rang, he helped Pam to the bathroom. Finally his mother’s groggy voice was on the other end, asking what was going on.
“Mom, something’s happened, I need to take Pam to the hospital right now…I don’t know, Mom, it’s…I don’t know. Please, just hurry, I need you or Dad to stay with Liv and Jack….Yeah, please…I don’t know…See you in a few minutes…” Jim hung up and tossed the phone on the bed. He went back into the bathroom to check on Pam as she was leaning over the sink, sweating despite the fact that she was also shivering. Seeing her panic-stricken face broke his heart and Jim never felt so helpless in his life as he did in that moment when there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop this.
Pam lay in the hospital bed, hooked up to the IV as she slept. The bleeding had finally slowed but their doctor didn’t want her up and moving around just yet, until her vitals improved. Jim sat in the hard vinyl chair next to his wife’s bed, his eyes red-rimmed, hands clasped together.
Slowly Pam’s eyes slid open and she immediately focused on Jim. Seeing the look on his face, Pam teared up. “I’m so sorry Jim. I just thought…”
“Don’t Pam, don’t. This is NOT your fault.” He took her small hand in his own and kissed it softly.
“But I didn’t do anything, I knew she…he…the baby wasn’t moving, I didn’t do anything about it, I just thought…” Pam trailed off and turned away, unable to look Jim in the eye.
“Stop, Pam, please. Pam, hey, look at me, please…”
She turned back toward him, tears spilling down her pale cheeks. “What are we going to tell Olivia? She won’t understand, she’s too young…”
“We’ll figure it out, okay? Just like we’ve figured out everything else, we’ll get through this too. I promise, Pam.” Jim squeezed her hand tightly. “I promise.”
