Jim
1. He lost his virginity to a girl named Karen.
He was eighteen, and nervous as hell. His friends had all had sex before, with random girls at parties named Kim or Nicole (like they could remember), or with their girlfriend of two months, the sound of Boyz II Men or Pearl Jam heard softly in the background. It just never happened for him. He was the friend. The one you can count on not to make a move on you. So when he met Karen, the pretty college sophomore studying Journalism at Columbia, he told her he was twenty. It wasn’t that far off, but his boyish face and lack of muscles almost gave him away. When they went out for drinks (he got in, thank God) he acted aloof, like he didn’t give a shit about her feelings. And it worked. They had sex in her dorm room. As soon as it was over, she had to study, so he left. He tried to keep in touch with her, but he guessed later on that his skills in bed weren’t exactly honed yet. He never told Karen Filipelli about the other Karen. He didn’t want her to think that was why he was attracted to her in the first place…even though it kind of was.
2. He refuses to watch football.
Sometimes Pam, always a creature of habit, will turn on an Eagles game for him while they cook dinner. She used to have to switch off her show while she cooked for Roy, so that he wouldn’t miss one precious second of the game. Now she does it every night. She never came out and told Jim why, but he can tell. Because of this, the entire sport is ruined for him. He can just picture Roy sitting on the couch, a beer in both hands, yelling to Pam for more meatloaf while he stares at the screen. Jim knows that’s probably not what actually happened, but maybe something like it. Occasionally, on Thanksgiving or at a Halpert Family Reunion he’ll play with his brothers, but he can’t help but feel like he’s betraying Pam. Like he’s turning into a thoughtless boyfriend who ignores his beautiful girlfriend. Like someone from her past. He was always more into basketball anyway.
3. He already has all of his kid’s names picked.
Olivia, Isabelle, Ben, Patrick. Not necessarily in that order. Jim had always wanted kids. Even when he was a teenager, and pretended that he wanted to be a bachelor forever, like Hugh Hefner, he knew he was lying. But, come to think of it, who can actually say that Hugh Hefner hasn’t fathered more kids? If you look at the numbers…
He’s always wanted his daughters to have Pam’s hair, eyes, smile, nose, ears, eyelashes, and personality. And everything else about her too. But then later he realized that he’d have to buy a shotgun or something for all the horny little tween boys who would obviously fall in love with them. He thought that Ben and Patrick were names of nice boys. The kind that were in Boy Scouts and baseball, who loved their mother. The kind of men who opened doors for women, and became Pediatricians or owned bookstores. Not that he had expectations. When he told his ideas to Pam, she said he was adorable. Great.
4. He actually loves Scranton.
People seem to see Scranton as industrial, boring, lame. Not to Jim. Growing up in Scranton was amazing. You were just a few hours away from New York City, Philadephia, beaches, lakes, amazing camping spots. His parents took him and his brothers for a road trip to Canada once when he was eight. They all fought constantly, and the trip was more than stressful for his parents, but that was when he realized how much he loved his home. Not that there was anything wrong with Montreal and Quebec City (in fact, they were awesome), but he realized how close Scranton was to the rest of the world. It always had been and would be Jim's home. While they were in New York for the interview, Karen had asked him why he stayed in Scranton, when he could so easily move somewhere better. He just looked at her. Why would you not stay in Scranton? Sure, two years ago he was bored with his job, depressed with his love life, eager for anything new. So he moved. He hated Stamford, and not just for the obvious reason. His favourite diners, restaurants, parks, rec centers, stores, libraries, all were in Scranton. Pam was in Scranton.
5. He loves Pam more.
Ok, so this isn’t exactly a secret or a quirk. Jim is pretty sure that his feelings for Pam are constantly tatooed across his face, because when people see them together, they give him a look that says “I think I’m going to vomit if you don’t stop staring at her”. Like he cares. Pam is easily the most important person in his entire world. Well, she is his world. His friends ask him how they manage being around each other day and night. He tells them that she’s his best friend, that he would rather be around her all day, goofing off and pranking Dwight while doing a job he hates, then be anywhere else. They just suit each other. When he couldn’t figure out what to do with Dwight’s car when he left his keys on his desk, it was her idea to park the car in the warehouse. They laughed their entire lunch break watching Dwight run around the block, chasing the so-called “perps”. That was until he body checked an old woman walking her poodle, and sent her to the hospital. According to Dwight, it was the perfect crime. Who would suspect her?
…Whoops.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
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