Creed
1. He was a nudist for forty years.
Ever since the sixties, Creed Bratton was a nudist. They were simpler times. No one cared what you wore, how you wore it… if you wore it. It was free living all the way. That was, until some nosy old woman came in and got all up in your business. By the seventies, he and his brethren Nudist’s were forced to live their lives in more liberal places, like San Francisco or Burma. By the eighties it was nude beaches, hedonist resorts, and the privacy of your own home. The nineties were a tough couple of years. He was forced to expose only parts of himself. But really, what’s the problem with hanging a little brain? By 2002, Creed Bratton was forced to stay clothed in public, according to some law. Like that stops him.
2. He has kids.
At least, he thinks he does. There’s really no way to be sure. Looking at the number of women he’s had protected sex with, the number of women he’s had unprotected sex with, and the number of… others he’s had sex with…. There’s probably quite a few little Creed Bratton II’s running around. The unfortunate thing is, their mothers probably couldn’t have found him, had they needed anything. Whether he was visiting his family in Thailand or going under another identity, finding Creed Bratton can be quite the task.
3. He went to war.
Creed Bratton is a lover, not a fighter. When the news of a draft first surfaced, he thought about moving away. He’d always loved Canada. Apparently the weed in British Columbia is excellent. Then one night, he saw the actual footage of the war on his friend’s television. Vietnam was filled with palm trees and cute little huts. What a wonderful place to go! So he signed up, figuring he’d do his part, then find some nice land and start a rice paddy. It was a bit different. Lot’s of fighting, guns, blood, dirt. Everything was grey. A few weeks later he got shot in the foot by…someone, and went home. That was the end of that.
4. He was in love once.
Back in 1962. Her name was Layla. She had long blonde hair, big blue eyes, the body of a supermodel. They met at a gay bar in New Orleans. He was feeling experimental one night, and went to Manhole with some of his buddies from the farm. There she was serving up apple martinis and cosmopolitans; an angel. He went over and asked for a beer, the next thing he knew they were going on a road trip to Miami with six of her hot friends. That’s when he had his first orgy.
5. He thinks the receptionist is smokin’
Of all the women in the office, she is by far the hottest. Of course, now she’s off limits since she got engaged to the tall guy. Sometimes at lunch, he and Kevin will discuss how she looked that day, making up codes for her breasts. Then, the little blonde one will walk in and ruin all the fun. Now that she’s a salesman, he has an even better view of her desk. It’s perfect, because he could not look at the redhead anymore. He thinks she should wear her hair up more often. She would look like the librarian that moonlights as a stripper. Yes…that Paula could totally be a stripper.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
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