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Jim stood outside the OR door in shock. He ripped off his gown, mask, and cap and threw them to the floor. He fell back against the wall and slid to the floor, tears streaming down his face, and buried his face in his hands. After what seemed like hours, he heard a voice next to him.
“Jim?”
He looked up to see Abby standing there.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know… Pam started bleeding badly, and they made me leave…” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Oh, God,” Abby said. “I’m sorry. They called the NICU and told me to come back up here, but didn’t give me specifics.” She held out her hand to help Jim stand up.
“Come on. I’ll take you to the NICU.”
“Thanks.”
Abby led Jim down the hall and into the NICU. It was much larger than Jim expected: a large room with a nurses’ station, and all along the perimeter were smaller rooms. Abby pointed to a large sink.
“You need to scrub and put on a gown just like you did for the surgery,” Abby said.
Abby went to talk to one of the nurses at the desk as Jim scrubbed. She got a gown from behind the desk and helped Jim put it on.
“Come on, I’ll take you to J.D.’s room,” she said, leading him to one of the rooms.
Jim’s heart pounded as he walked into the room. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw: his baby boy clad only in a diaper on a table under a bright lamp, an IV in his tiny hand, a tube in his mouth, heart monitor stickers on his chest and a red light attached to his foot. Abby pulled a chair next to the table and Jim collapsed into it.
“I know it looks scary,” she said quietly. “But he’s actually doing really well for a 32-weeker.” A doctor walked into the room then.
“Hi, Mr. Halpert,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Grandy, I’m the neonatologist.” Jim shook his hand.
“Call me Jim,” he said.
“Alright, Jim. Now, your son is actually doing well. He was having trouble breathing on his own, so we needed to intubate him--“
“Intubate?”
“Put a tube down his throat to help him breathe. We gave him a medication called surfactant to open up his lungs, and he’s oxygenating well. He should only need to be on the ventilator for a few days.” Jim nodded slowly, struggling to understand this flood of information.
“He’s getting fluids and nutrition through the IV, and won’t be able to eat for awhile, because his digestive system isn’t matured enough yet,” he continued. “But all in all, he looks great. What’s his name?”
“James Daniel… J.D.”
“Alright. I’ll be back in at 6 tomorrow morning for rounds, and we’ll see how he’s doing.” He reached out to shake Jim’s hand again. “Congratulations, Jim.”
“Thanks,” he said quietly as Dr. Grandy left the room. Jim sat back in the chair and heaved a shaky sigh.
“I know,” Abby said. “This is a lot of information. I’ll be keeping an eye on him today. We’ve got the monitor out here and we’ll make sure everything’s going okay.”
“Can I…” Jim choked out. “Can I hold him?” Abby shook her head.
“Not right now. Right now, his nervous system would get over-stimulated if you held him. You can touch him, though.”
Jim stood up and looked down at his tiny, helpless son. He reached out a hand and gently ran the back of his index finger over J.D.’s head.
“Hey, little guy,” he said softly. “It’s Daddy...” J.D. opened his little eyes and squinted at Jim. Jim laughed softly as he stretched his little arms out.
“I’ll let you guys get acquainted,” Abby said softly, and left the room. Jim stood looking down at his son.
“Wow…” he murmured. He laid his hand on J.D.’s head, amazed at how tiny it was underneath his large hand, and then chuckled as he realized that it was about the size of a tennis ball.
“Tennis Ball Head. That’s your new nickname,” Jim said. He turned around when he heard a laugh from the doorway.
“Hey,” Carol said.
“Oh, my God,” Jim said. “Is Pam okay?!” Carol nodded.
“Yes. She’s stabilized and in recovery. She lost a lot of blood, but we transfused her, and she’s doing okay.” She walked over and looked down at J.D.
“He’s really beautiful,” she said. “So... Tennis Ball Head?”
Jim laughed. "I thought it was appropriate, given the size of his head. And the... fuzziness."
"Come on, I’ll take you to Pam.”
Jim stroked J.D.’s head with his finger again.
“’Bye, buddy. I’ll be back in a little while.”
He followed Carol out the door.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Summary - Jim gets to know his son.
A happier chapter... still a bit of angst, but a lot of fluff!
A happier chapter... still a bit of angst, but a lot of fluff!
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry, I posted this a day later than I said. Cut me some slack, my sister and dad are both in the hospital. Different hospitals. But hey, at least I have this week off of work, right?
32-weeker preemie. See? Tennis ball head.
NICU at Moses Taylor Hospital
A NICU room at MTH
