Believe it or not, I'm pretty happy she's yelling at me right now.

Normally I'd be embarrassed, the walls are pretty thin in hotel rooms. But I'm actually struggling to keep a smile from creeping on to my face. That just wouldn't be tactful.

Not that what I said about fifteen minutes ago could be considered courteous at all... hey, Karen. Listen, you're great and all, but you just aren't Pam. Also, sorry for dragging you out to Scranton a few months ago. Do you need a ride back?

Well those exact words would never have actually come out of my mouth, but from the sound of it, that's what Karen heard.

I'm not really hearing what she's saying, something about how I wasted her time... make choices like a 12 year old girl... have no ambition...

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Well that wasn't very nice.

"Ughh, you aren't even listening. Why don't you ever listen? Don't answer that. Just- just... GET THE HELL OUT BEFORE I-"

I didn't need any more motivation.

"Okay," I sigh. I had wanted to do this the respectful way, let her down easy. After all, I can't say every minute of the past six months have been hell. But they were pretty damn near close. Her crazy Italian temper was clearly not going to let this go...

I pick up my bag and head for the door. I don't really care about how terribly that just went.

You know that feeling you get as your foot falls asleep? It hurts at first and then, nothing. That was last May. This weight, it settled in my chest, I couldn't breathe, couldn't find words to express what was slowly consuming me- I just let it. Because once it did... nothing. I. felt. nothing.

Then it's pretty comfortable for awhile. You get used to not feeling your foot and forget it's there. You can focus on other things, like working hard to sell more paper and charming angry Italian women. Yep.

But it doesn't last long, your leg starts to hurt as the blood flow stops there too. You want to get up, but you can't. You're dreading what's next. But something Pam someone Pam is telling you Pam you should Pam because it might go numb Pam forever.

And when your hair's too short and you aren't allowed to pull pranks and have to commit to a life you don't want - you can't take it anymore, so you...

...stand up. That prickling sensation sets in, slowly at first, and then wow it hurts like a bitch. You stumble along trying to regain feeling and control.

I felt the prickle in Wallace's office when I saw the yogurt lid. The pain set in when Karen told me to get the hell out and I didn't give a damn. It made me want to smile... I could feel something again.

And now, finally, I'm stumbling over to my car, giddy with nerves and radiating with hope. Every thing's a blur. I can barely see straight.

Hope I make it home in one piece. Home.

I'm coming home. Right now.