Chapter Three 

When Michael emerged from his office donning one of those funny pointed party hats a five-year old would love and holding the over-sized card they'd all signed earlier, everyone knew it was time.  Trooping one-by-one into the conference room, almost everyone, including Pam, took one of the brightly colored hats offered by Phyllis who stood vigilant at the door.  Angela, on the other hand remained quietly stoic in the far corner...arms crossed, stern-faced and hatless.

As Jim approached, Phyllis narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.  "Hat, Jim?"

He half shrugged.  "Uh, no thanks...I'm not really a hat kind of guy." Jim was reluctant to meet her eyes directly, fearing some form of verbal retribution for having more or less put Phyllis in a tough spot, making her the undeserving object of Angela's wrath.  Not that he wouldn't have  deserved it...he did feel bad about that.  "Hey, uh...about the..."

Phyllis cut him off.  "But I think I'd be willing to wager a guess that you do like double chocolate devils food...hmmm?"   The sly smile that spread across her face made Jim think Phyllis wasn't just talking about a certain birthday cake. 

Well...who doesn't?"   He thought that might be cryptic enough.

Phyllis broadened her smile as she turned and silently arched her brow in Angela's direction.

Jim cocked his head to the side.  "You might just be right." 

The table was set up at the front of the room.  The cake, prominent in the center, sported multi-colored candles and was surrounded by several large bottles of soda, a bowl of  French Onion potato chips, two cartons of vanilla ice cream and the usual assortment of brightly decorated plastic cups, plates and flatware.  Someone, Jim noticed, had moved his 'Happy Birthday Pam' sign from the back wall so that it was now displayed on the wall directly behind the table.  It all looked pretty nice and festive...it really did.

"Can I have your attention please?"  Michael's voice suddenly boomed above the still gathering crowd. 

Just then Roy and Darryl made their way into the room and Jim's heart sank just a little.

"Now, let's get the birthday girl up here?" Michael scanned the room, eager to get things started as the master of ceremonies...and just as eager to be the center of attention.  "Come on Pamalama...no time to be shy...let's shake that pretty little booty right on up here....front and center." 

Jim saw Pam wince.  She was standing next to her fiance, but her eyes caught his as she started making her way toward the table...a hint of nervous trepidation in her gait. 

"Alright...here she is."  Michael took Pam's hand, swinging her around to face her waiting co-workers.  "Now, Pamela...I just want to take this opportunity to wish you a hearty happy birthday."

"Uh...thanks."  She seemed somewhat unsure.

"And what are you, now...like pushing 30?" Michael stepped back, dropping his eyes towards her chest, "Better get a crackin' before those start a saggin'..."  Michael laughed and Jim heard low snickers from a few people, mainly Kevin and Tom from accounting...and surprisingly, well, maybe not so surprisingly...even Roy.

Slowly shaking her head, Pam bit her bottom lip.  "No, Michael...you know I'm only 23."  The embarrassment was clearly etched on her face.

"Oh, Pam...a little sensitive are we?"  Michael turned to his audience.  "Well, to get us all back in the mood I have written a special birthday rap...so Dwight can you give us a little background scratch...from da hood?" 

Dwight stepped forward, covered his mouth and began making a scratchy sound to a rap beat.   

"Aw yeah, Pammy...here we go

Let's have a hapy one...yo, yo, yo

Aw yeah, Pammy...here we go

We're all gettin' down for your birthday show!

Mic one, check

Listen to my rhyme

It's your b'day

And it's Party time

We don't play

When we partt-ay

Especial-lay

When it's your b'day

Uh, huh...uh, uh...uh, huh

Yo, yo...Pammy

Happy, happy, happy birthday!

Yeah, happy, happy birthday!

Aw yeah, Pammy...here we go

Let's have a happy one...yo, yo, yo

Aw yeah, Pammy...don't you fro

Smile on your b'day...you aint no ho!

Aw yeah, Pammy, here we go

Bitch gonna have a big one...yo, yo, yo

Yeah, yeah Pammy, here we go

A big shout out on your birthday, oh!

Uh, huh...uh, huh...uh, huh

Ha-ha-ha-happy birthday...to you

Uh, huh...uh, huh...uh, huh

Ha-ha-ha-happy birthday...to you!

The silence was deafening.   Jim had no idea.  Sure, he'd seen Michael in action before...but nothing like this.  Not even close.  And Pam...well she just looked totally shell-shocked. 

Even Michael seemed stunned...but for all the wrong reasons.  "What...no likey?"

Pam stood perfectly still, her lower lip pulled tight behind her teeth...just staring glassy-eyed at her boss.

Jim couldn't take it any longer.  If everyone else was as uncomfortable as he was...well, well he just had to do something.  "So, everybody...how about some of that cake?"    

                                                     ***** 

After everyone sang the real "Happy Birthday" and Pam blew out all the candles and cut the cake, things had settled into what Jim supposed, was a pretty typical routine.  People seemed to congregate in small groups and Pam, who had taken it upon herself to help Phyllis pass out pieces of her birthday cake, made it a point to spend a little time with each one.  Jim somehow wound up with Kevin and Toby and Meredith and no one, as it turned out, wanted to talk about Michael. 

"Jim?"  Pam sidled up to him, managing to balance three plates in her hands.  "Would you guys like a piece of cake?  It looks really, really good."

He turned, relieved to see that she appeared to have more or less recovered as he was greeted with a warm and inviting smile.  "Sounds good...guys?"  Jim helped pass along a piece to everyone but Meredith, who after nearly finishing her soda in a single gulp, respectfully declined and then immediately excused herself...offering vaguely that she'd forgotten something or other in her desk.

"She's allergic to dairy...but she'll be fine."  Pam seemed to know something he did not.

Noticing that Pam was now empty handed, Jim pointed to the table.  "Hey...what about you...haven't you had a piece, yet?"

"Oh...I just want to make sure that everyone gets some first." 

"Well, Pam...there seems to be plenty left and it just wouldn't do for you to miss having a piece of your own birthday cake, so let's take care of that, right now!  Besides, I think I'd like some ice cream with mine...so no arguments...follow me!"

Pam raised her hand in a snappy salute.  "Yes sir...lead the way!"

Jim purposely cut an extra large piece., slicing through the velvety layers with ease.   "It does look good, doesn't it?" 

As he started to place the over-sized wedge on her plate Pam balked, "No, Jim...I really don't think so.  It's way too big!" 

"That's what she said."

They both turned just in time to see Angela smirking at them from the doorway before spinning on her heel and walking away.

"Just what is her problem?" Jim felt his temper rising, but he managed to hold it in check. 

"I really don't know...she hasn't talked to me at all  But she's definitely angry with me about something."

"Hey, don't let her spoil this for you...it's your day...enjoy it?"

"I am."

"You are? Even with Michael?"

"Oh, yeah...definitely!  I mean, sure...Michael...well that's just Michael...he's never going to change."

"Yeah...that was just totally weird."

"But you know what?  I've actually had a pretty good day.  There was the balloon and chocolates right off the bat...and the decorations are nice.  In fact, it's all a bit more than what we usually come up with.  And this cake...it really is good."  She took another healthy bite.  "It's my favorite you know.  I just love double chocolate devil's food.. and this is yummy." 

She and Jim stood quietly, almost oblivious to everyone else around them.  Yes, Kevin...only a few feet away...was in the middle of an animated discussion with Darryl and Roy about the Eagles' chances.  And in the far corner, Oscar and Creed had partnered up with Dwight and Kelly as Michael kept trying to make one of her gold earrings disappear.  And Toby, hanging near the window was explaining to Devon why he shouldn't get too worked up about those persistent downsizing rumors that had been gathering steam over the past few months.

But Pam and Jim...even in the midst of the hubbub surrounding them, seemed almost alone and to themselves.  Sometimes, it was almost like an outside world didn’t really exist.  As though they’d somehow stumbled upon a secret, hidden place, stuck somewhere between time and space where all the little, nit-picky problems that crossed their paths each and every day were simply blown clear on the gentle winds of their humor and the compatibility of their own good cheer.  A sort of refuge of the mind and spirit that materialized only in each other’s presence.  Jim felt it...and he was sure Pam did, too.  Well, pretty sure. 

"So...you're really having a good time?"

Pam nodded, "Uh...huh; uh...huh; uh...huh!"  A sly smile breaking free as she began rocking back and forth to an imaginary rap beat.

Following her lead, Jim tried mimicking Pam’s moves...moves he could only describe as ‘quirkily dorky’...but to him, each one was, nonetheless just so effin’ cute.  “And yo, yo, yo...it’s your birthday show!”  Quickly grabbing her hand, Jim raised it high above her head as Pam twirled in an even cuter impromptu pirouette.  

“Oh my god...look at you.  Michael would be soooooo proud!”  He marveled at the sparkle in her eye and the pure look of joy that beamed across her face.  In that instant, seeing her sheer happiness, he felt giddy, almost buoyant and carefree...and he just couldn't hold back the laugh that bellowed through the room, causing everyone to turn...and stare.   Everyone!  

Like that, the spell was broken and suddenly it all seemed just way too claustrophobic...for both of them.

Pam quickly withdrew her hand from his, a concerned, almost panicked look on her face.  "I, uh  think maybe I should go find Phyllis...to...um...thank her."  She seemed to purposely avert her eyes from Jim, even as she abruptly stepped past him and through the door.  "Because I know Angela would never have done all of this for me...especially not today."  

                                                     ***** 

Jim caught Angela as she came out of the ladies room...maybe 'ambushed' was the more apt term.  "Hey...what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Whatever do you mean?"  The smugness in her voice dripped from her tongue as she tried to brush by, but Jim moved quickly to block the doorway. 

"No way, Angela...you're not going anywhere...not just yet."

She stopped abruptly, only inches from his chest and she had to strain her neck to lock her steely glare on Jim's eyes.

Jim glared right back.  "I've got a few things to say...and you're going to listen."

Angela, shifted her weight, obviously very much annoyed.

"First, don't lay any of this on Phyllis.  She had nothing to do with any of it.  It was all me, no one else.  I was the one who came in early this morning with the chocolates and the balloon.  I put up all the decorations.  And...I ordered the cake.   So, you got a problem with any of that...you take it up with me!"

The words shot from his mouth...pointed and sharp...and meant to stick.

"Second.  I did it because I wasn't going to let you ruin Pam's day.  Yeah, I'm still new, and I may not know that much about the way things are done around here...but I know this.  If it's someone's birthday and the thing here is to have a fun little party...then damn it...you give them their fun little party.  If I hadn't ordered that cake...there wouldn't have even been one...would there?"

Angela squirmed, clearly uncomfortable at being so unceremoniously put on the spot with the truth.

"And third...Pam is my friend and yes, I think a lot of her.  Think what you will of me, that's fair...but Pam has not done one single thing to warrant anyone...and I mean anyone trying to turn that friendship against her.  Not one single thing!   And you had no right to anoint yourself some kind of holier than thou judge and jury passing judgment on her or me...or anyone else.  I think I've made myself clear!" 

With that, Jim stepped aside.  He wasn't expecting a response...and he didn't get one. 

                                                       ***** 

It was just about quitting time and Pam was still in the conference room helping Phyllis with the last of the clean up.  Every now and again, Jim caught her glancing his way...something of a questioning look on her face.  As everyone packed up for the day and began heading for the exit, he found reasons to linger...re-filing the stack of client folders piled high on his desk, re-checking his voice-mail...even rearranging the photos he’d brought in from home.  Anything to mask the obvious...he was waiting for her.         

Phyllis emerged first.  As she passed by, Jim caught her arm.  Quickly glancing back over her shoulder, Phyllis beat him to the punch.  “Don’t worry about it, Jim...you did good.  It was worth it, just to see Angela stewing in her corner all day.”  With that she winked, offered the faintest hint of a smile, then turned and walked out the door. 

                                                        ***** 

“Hey.”

As she slipped the last remaining portion of cake into the box, Pam looked up to find Jim leaning in the doorway, his sleeves rolled up...his left hand tucked behind his back.

“Can I...um...help with anything?”  His words were tentative...as though testing the waters.

Pam looked around.  Her shoulder bag sat open on one of the chairs, the corner of her mega-sized birthday card sticking out one end and her birthday balloon tied to one of the straps.  Her coat was draped loosely over the back.   “Uh...no...I think I’m pretty much done.”  Her voice noticeably subdued as well.

Jim shuffled his feet, clearly unsure of what to do next.  They stood just a few feet apart...looking almost too carefully at one another.  He hated this awkward and anxious silence between them...so unnatural...so unlike them.   What was she thinking?  He didn’t know...no idea at all. 

He did know one thing.  He’d let things get out of hand....totally out of hand.  He’d let his feelings get way out in front of his brains and now...now he knew there’d likely be a price to pay.  Would it be the ultimate price?  He didn’t really want to believe that...almost as though his mind wasn’t willing to accept there might or even should be consequences for falling for an engaged woman.  Well, not if she had feelings for him, too.

But Pam had kept her distance through the rest of the day, not even catching his eye ‘til this very moment.  Was she now second guessing everything?   Questioning him...questioning even their friendship?  

“Some day...huh?”  Jim’s mouth quirked in one of his patently ironic smiles...again masking the jump in his nerves as he warily awaited her reaction.

Pam’s lips tightened, her eyes drifting to somewhere that was not exactly...there.

The cautious, almost dispirited look he saw in her eyes cut him to the quick.  He'd never seen her this way, and all it did was start his insides churning up and around and inside out.  He'd only wanted this to have been such a special day for her...to make up for Angela and her spiteful narrow-mindedness.  All he really did, it seemed was to ruin it far beyond anything Angela could have imagined. 

Was he selfish?  Was that it?  Had it all come to this because he just couldn't leave well enough alone?  Some self-absorbed need to show off or play the big shining knight hero for his imagined damsel in distress?  What an ass! 

What about her...what about Pam?  Had he really ever thought about her...about what all his attention, his not so innocent school-boy crush was doing to her? 

Yes...he'd thought about that...a lot.  Mostly at night as he lay in bed trying to sleep, but instead, staring at the ceiling and trying to make sense about just what it was that this smart, pretty girl was doing to him.  So many times he'd told himself it was hopeless...that nothing could...or would ever come of it.

But then, he'd walk through that door and see the luminescence in that smile and hear that sweet, lilting laugh and he'd be good to go for days.  That's all it took...that's all it ever took.

Now?  The look he saw in her eye, all question, hesitation and doubt...stung deep.  There probably was no turning back from this.  He'd been foolish and foolhardy, thinking it was somehow up to him to put things right...that somehow she'd expect it.  That somehow, she'd need him.

"Hey...I...uh...I'm sorry...about before."

Slowly, her eyes came back to him...her brow only slightly furrowed.   “Jim...”

“I...I didn’t mean anything.”  His stammering bore the air of apology.  “I...I...just got carried...”

Before he could finish, Pam stepped forward gently wrapping her arms around him and tenderly resting her head against his shoulder.  “Thank you.”  Her words were muffled...nearly buried in his chest.

Jim was speechless.  This was not what he’d expected...not at all.  “Uh...”

Pam raised her head, her eyes searching his as she slowly, almost reluctantly stepped back, letting go. “Phyllis told me.”

His heart throbbing, Jim bit down on his lower lip, still caught in the surprise and wonder of her embrace.  “I just wanted a nice day for you.”

“I know.”

He found a new softness in her features as he keenly studied her face...a quiet serenity that had a calming, almost healing effect.  “Well?”

A gentle smile turned the corners of her mouth.  “I had a really nice day, Jim...really nice.” 

The hushed sincerity of her words left a nervous hollow in the pit of his stomach, but not one of pain.  No, it was something different...almost...dare he think...hopeful?

“So...then I guess it’s okay to give you this?”  Jim swung his left arm out from behind his back...a neatly wrapped box in his hand. 

Pam’s eyes brightened as she tilted her head in surprise.  “You didn’t have to...”

He extended it toward her.  “It’s just a little something...not that big a deal.”

Taking it eagerly, Pam unfolded the wrapping...careful not to tear the brightly colored paper.  As she lifted the cover, her breath caught with genuine excitement.  “Jim!”   Reaching in, she pulled out a small box of artist’s oils and three long sable brushes. 

“I just thought you might like them.  You said something about liking to paint.”

She looked up, and Jim could see a slight glistening around the bottom of each eye.“I love them... I absolutely love them.”  And without any hesitation, she lifted herself on the very tips of her toes and kissed his cheek. 

The soft warmth of her lips against his skin was intoxicating and as she hung on his shoulder, for that very split second,  Jim was as happy as he could ever imagine himself to be.

But the sound of a horn, honking from somewhere below in the parking lot interrupted the gentle quiet that had enveloped them.

“I guess Roy must be waiting?” Jim tilted his head towards the windows.

“Uh....yeah.” 

“Well, then...I guess you'd better be going.”

Pam looked up into his eyes.  “Yeah...I guess.” She gathered her things, stuffing all but the cake into her shoulder bag and giving the room one last look around.

Jim wanted to offer to carry the box downstairs for her, but thought better of it...thinking it would most likely only complicate things with Roy.  So as she started through the door, Jim moved aside, letting her pass.  "Tomorrow?"

Pam smiled.  "Definitely."

As she walked by his desk, Pam suddenly stopped and looked back...staring silently at him for an extra beat or two before whispering an almost imperceptible, “Thank you so, so much...for everything!” 

Jim could only nod. 

With a doleful sigh, Pam smiled one final time...an almost painfully ironic smile...then turned slowly and walked away.

As the office door clicked shut, Jim swore he'd seen the sad reflection of a regretful tear slipping ruefully down the curve of her cheek.  The thought made his breath catch.  His heart pounded in his chest and suddenly his skin was afire with a pulsating white-hot heat the seared through every fiber of his body. 

That's how it came to him...inexplicable as it was.  But that's exactly when he knew.  Yes...he absolutely, definitely, and most certainly was...he was going to marry Pam Beesly! 

                                                       THE END