He had a meeting the next day at 7:30 a.m. She didn't understand much about his new job, but she understood that she'd have to wake up earlier than usual that day. As the high-pitched beeping blared through her head, she groggily opened her eyes, processing the bright red lines that came together to form ‘6:00’. As she struggled to open her eyes, feeling as if they were nailed shut and weighed down by sleep and apathy, she saw the images of her husband stretching and shuffling around the room towards the bathroom.
She was fairly grounded in her assesment that no one should ever have to be awoken at this ungodly hour. And since when was he such a beauty queen? It usually only took him 15 minutes to get ready, and another 10 to get into work. He could have slept for another hour.
“Honey, what are you doing up so early?”
“I just want to make sure I’m prepared. Going over some last minute things, ya know? Just go back to sleep sweetie, you don’t have to be in for another 3 hours.”
She paused (or was it just that she fell back asleep?) before she decided what to say next
“I thought I would go in with you today, sit in on the meeting and take notes, you know, just like old times,” She laughed, amused at the fact that she was offering to regress back into her role as secretary.
“Babe, that’s ridiculous. You should get your sleep. Plus, only one of us should have to suffer through this meeting. I’ll just see you when you come in.”
She was a little bit more awake now, his words hitting her like the cald water that her friend Isabel used to dump on her face to wake her up after their sleepovers.
“Um...Okay. But how am I going to get in if you’re taking the car?”
When they first moved in together, they sold both of their cars, or “Pile of Shit” as Jim so lovingly nicknamed his. They upgraded to a 2009 Nissan Altima: not the nicest car on the block, but the nicest one they could afford before Jim was promoted. Only having one car had never been a problem until today. They would drive into work together every day, and come home together too. They went everywhere together; Jim even came grocery shopping. He would claim it was because she never knew the right type of bread that he liked (Oat Bran). She knew it, but she liked to mess it up so that he would come back with her each time. He knew that she knew it, but he liked that she would pretend to mess it up because he loved to spend time with her.
“I’m leaving the keys on the counter for you. I’ll take the bus.”
“Won’t you be late if you have to wait for the bus?”
“Well, that’s the other reason I’m up so early.”
“Okay,” she said, with a hint of disappointment in her voice. “I’ll see you at 9 then. Good luck.”
“Thanks, love,” he said as he kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you soon. Don’t get into any car accidents, okay?”
“Damn, I was planning on driving against oncoming traffic today. Guess I’ll have to save that for next week.”
She could hear his chuckle as he walked out of their bedroom door, down the stairs to their kitchen where he put on a pot of coffee. She liked that she could still make him laugh, and she knew it was lame but she always felt this little pang of victory in her heart when she saw a smile on his face and knew that she was the reason it was there.
Thirty minutes later, she was still rolling around in the bed trying to find the right spot in the mattress, the right grooves in her pillow, and the right amount of blanket to keep her warm (but not too warm). She couldn’t fall back asleep. She picked up her book and started reading, figuring she might as well just stay up until she had to go into work, and maybe spend the extra time she had to get ready to look super nice today.
Soon after she dove into the world of Mr. Darcy, she heard the creak of their front door open and shut deliberately. She hopped out of bed to their window, watching as her husband turned onto the sidewalk in his suit and messenger bag on his path to the bus stop. She smiled without even realizing it, thinking it was cute to watch him on a mission like this. She wondered if he looked so serious and proper when he was a kid, heading to his street corner in anticipation of the first day of school. She chuckled at the thought, remembering how he told her that he was the kid that forgot his lunch every day, and his mom had to run outside and chase the bus waving the brown paper bag with 'Jimmy' scrawled on it.
She felt slightly guilty that he had to take the bus, and wished she had offered to drop him off at work. But she knew he wouldn’t have let her do that. He was always trying to make her life easier, make things better for her, even if it was at his own expense. She liked that about him.
Yet as she found herself appreciating the sacrifice he had made for her, she also wondered why he even had to make it in the first place. He didn’t want her to come early. He didn’t want her waiting outside the meeting for him, or cheering him on inside. He didn’t want to ride into work with her, listening to 102.3 QFM like they always had. And she was beginning to feel like he didnt want her anymore. Was he really trying to be sweet by letting her use the car, or was he just looking for an excuse to be alone?
Upon much more thought, she deduced that it had to be the first reason. Jim had not even one malicious bone in his body. He was just a little oblivious sometimes. She remembered how much he valued his new position, how he didn’t want to mess anything up for fear of changing her quality of life and that of their child to come. It wasn’t that he was trying to escape her, it was just that he was trying so hard to make things perfect for her that he seemed distant. And, as she thought even further, he was probably so caught up in all the tasks he assigned for himself, that he didn’t even realize he was being distant.
Because if he did know he was being distant, he would try to fix that. Right? Wasn’t that the kind of guy he was?
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali