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In an attempt to grow a friendship between the two men in my life, something that I should have been aware wouldn’t work any way you look at it and I’m still not sure why I thought it was a good idea, I invited Jim to our place on Saturday afternoon to watch college football.

That particular Saturday, Roy was gone in the morning to help his brother move. We often had Roy’s friends over and I never lifted a finger in attempt to clean the place but for my one friend, since I never had people over, I made sure the house was spotless. I made sure the house was spotless. To be fair, I was nervous about Jim coming over and cleaning gave me something to concentrate on.

I finished a half hour before Jim was to arrive. Roy still hadn’t come home and I called him a few times but received no answer and left a message for him to call me back. For reasons I didn’t understand at the time, I wasn’t all that concerned about Roy showing up on time.

Fifteen minutes before Jim was supposed to get there, I was in my bedroom, finishing getting ready. I made a conscious effort to look decent for that afternoon. I wasn’t wearing anything too fancy, just jeans and my favorite sweater, but for some reason I felt that I needed to look nice that afternoon. Funny how I had never felt inspired to iron my favorite blouse or straighten my hair when Roy’s brother came over. Roy had always liked my hair up, and since it was easy to do I never changed it, but that day, I let my hair flow over my shoulders.

There was a knock at the door pulling me out of my thoughts. I felt a wave of anxiousness sweep over me as I rushed to the door. Jim was there, early, much to my delight and looking as he did on casual Fridays, jeans, a gray hoodie but there was something different there as well. His hair was combed, though the effort was lost as his hair still stuck out at the ends and I could smell the fresh scent of his clothes, as if they had just been washed, along with a cologne I was sure he didn’t wear while at work. He gave me a smile, more like a half-smirk, when he looked at me and I felt myself growing warm.

“Hi,” I said, grinning wildly.

He didn’t speak right away, instead, he took a second to notice that I, too, looked different than normal then. His eyes seemed to linger on me a little longer than usual but then he shook his head and flashed me his friendly Jim smile.

“Hey,” he replied sounding a little nervous. When he came into the house, he rose his arms slightly, as if getting ready to hug me but then thought otherwise, and quickly put them behind his back. “I know I’m early but I brought beer.” He picked up the twelve pack of Grolsch’s that had been resting at his feet.

I smiled. “Come on in,” I said with a wave. I took the beer from him and closed the door once he was in. He took a moment to glance around, taking in my living room. Without another word, I headed towards the kitchen, Jim’s eyes wide, examining my home as we entered the kitchen. “Roy isn’t here yet,” I said apologetically as I placed the beer next to the vegetable tray in the fridge. Jim didn’t seem too put out by that statement. “Let me give him a call. You can go turn on the game if you’d like, the remote is on the coffee table.”

He was hesitant for a moment but when I fished my cell out of my pocket, he slowly wandered out into the living room.

Thankfully, Roy picked up the phone. “What?” he asked, sounding irritated.

“Where are you?” I hissed into the phone. “The game is about to start.”

Roy became immediately defensive. “I’m at the bar with the guys. The game has already started, where are you? I thought you were meeting us here?”

“Roy!” I snapped. “You are supposed to be here. Jim’s over today, remember? Why do you think I bought those bags of chips and dip?”

Upon hearing his name, Jim poked his head into the kitchen, a concerned look on his face. I rolled my eyes as if it were no big deal but I was visibly upset and couldn’t hide it so I turned away from him.

On the phone, Roy was trying to apologize. “Halpert’s there? That was this weekend? I’m so sorry, I completely forgot. I’ll get back at half time, okay?”

“Get back now,” I said sternly.

“Can’t it just wait until the end of the quarter?” he pleaded.

“No,” I said.

He was silent for a moment, I usually never put my foot down with him. “Fine but Darryl and Kenny are coming, too,” he said as if there would be no arguing on the matter.

“I don’t care,” I responded. “Just get here.”

“Fine,” he snapped back. “God, you don’t have to be so bitchy about it.”

“Well—I—“ My anger flared up again but Jim again popped his head into see if I was okay so I let it go. “I’ll see you soon, okay,” I said quickly. I hung up before Roy could respond. I took a deep breath to compose myself before joining Jim in the living room. “I’m sorry, Roy’s going to be a few minutes.” I explained to him about the mix-up.

“That’s fine,” Jim said with a shrug. I expected a question about why Roy was late but Jim didn’t seem put out over it and didn’t ask. Instead, was still walking around the living room, checking my place out. “So, someone loves Chris Tucker movies,” he commented, stopping at the shelf of DVDs.

I let out a laugh. “Yeah, those are Roy’s. He loves Chris Tucker. He insists we watch Rush Hour marathons at least once every six months.”

Jim grimaced. “Now, that’s a rare form of torture.”

“Don’t like Chris Tucker much?”

“Okay, so he’s not the worst,” Jim gave, though he clearly held a great distaste for the actor. “But Rush Hour? Really? If you’re going to go action, stick with Die Hard or as least Lethal Weapon. No, you know what? I take it back, watching Chris Tucker is like listening to nails on a chalk board.”

“I actually have to agree about Rush Hour,” I admitted. “But, you know, I did like The 5th Element.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“C’mon, it was funny,” I said.

He looked at me seriously. “Didn’t Chris Tucker play some sort of weird game show host drag queen hybrid in that movie?”

I started to giggle. “Yes but that was the fun of it.”

He shook his head at me. “I don’t know if we can be friends anymore,” he joked turning away. I could tell he was trying hard not to smile.

“C’mon,” I said through my giggles. “You have to love The 5th Element.” I attempted to do my best crazy Chris Tucker impression but I failed miserably. Jim, however, thought it was hilarious and for a good five minutes, we went back and forth, quoting the movie. Jim’s impressions were twenty times better than mine but I made him laugh harder.

“You know, for someone who claims to hate that movie, you sure know it well,” I commented through my laughter.

“Well, my college roommate was obsessed with it back when it came out, so yeah…” He wiped the tears from his eyes he was laughing so hard. As our laughter died down, Jim’s eyes wandered down to the picture of Roy and I that rested on top of the bookcase that held our DVDs.

It was of the two of us at prom. Roy wasn’t a sentimental person, therefore I was the one who chose what pictures to put out. Jim picked it up, carefully studying the younger version of me in my seafoam green dress. My hair was in an up-do and I was wearing my mother’s pearl earrings and necklace. Roy was standing slightly behind me, in his tux, his arms partially around me, my corsaged hand over his. We were both smiling like teenagers do at those occasions.

“Prom,” I said simply.

“Yeah,” he responded quietly, the humor fading from his face. “I kinda got that. Your first date?”

I shook my head. I tried never to think of my awful first date with Roy. “No, we had been dating for a while at that point. But that night was…” My voice trailed off as I thought of prom. It had been a great night. I lost my virginity that night. “It was nice. Roy was really sweet and bought me flowers and danced with me. I don’t know, it was nice.” I couldn’t help but smile at the memory but kept my head low to avoid Jim’s gaze.

Jim, however, seemed to sense that more went on that night than I told him and immediately put down the picture as if it were diseased.

“What was your prom like?” I asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Oh, it sucked,” he replied automatically.

“How so?”

He didn’t seem like he wanted to tell the story but I would have nagged him about it and he would have told me eventually. “I went with this girl named Steph,” he started with a reluctant breath. “She, like, begged me to go with her. And she was cute, so I said I would. But ten minutes after we got there, she started acting all weird. I found out that she only asked me to make some other guy jealous. And it worked too, halfway through the dance, when I was headed out to the bathroom, I caught them making out.”

“Oh, Jim,” I said. I lifted my hand to place reassuringly on his arm but at the last second decided against it and played with my necklace instead.

“It’s fine,” he said waving it off. “I guess it wasn’t all bad. At least I got to dance with the girl I had really wanted to ask out. Sarah.”

My curiosity was piqued. “Why didn’t you ask her in the first place?”

He looked at me as if the answer was the most obvious thing. “She had a boyfriend.”

“Oh,” I whispered.

“Didn’t matter,” he continued with a shrug, though I got the feeling that there was more to that story then he let on. “I got over her pretty quickly my freshman year of college.”

That led to about a dozen other questions I wanted to ask, but I refrained, not sure if he really wanted to tell me about that part of his past. Instead, we settled into an uneasy silence.

“So…” I started to say, playing with the sleeve of my sweater. “Yeah, I don’t really miss high school at all.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Jim admitted. “I wouldn’t go back though.”

“I didn’t like it at all,” I said. “I was—“ an idea formed. “Hey, want to see what I was like in high school?”

Jim’s grin returned. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll be right back,” I ran into my bedroom and pulled out my senior yearbook. I returned to see Jim playing with a stuffed penguin that had been sitting next to my prom photo.

“What are you doing?” I asked, amused.

“I love penguins,” he said.

It was my turn to arch an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” he turned it in his hand before gently bopping me over the head with it. “They’re cute.” I began to giggle again. “Fine, whatever,” he said, throwing the stuffed animal back on top of the shelf.

I eventually pried it out of him, but Jim really does have a soft spot for penguins for no other reason than he thinks they’re cute. It’s never been caught on camera, but he does the most adorable penguin impression. I told Phyllis about it one year at Christmas and she bought him a stuffed penguin doll that he kept for years until the day that his daughter took it outside and played with it in the mud.

“No, no,” I said grabbing it. “I love penguins, too,” I assured him. “This is mine. Roy’s brother Kenny got it for me. Won it, actually, from one of those claw things you find at carnivals and fairs.”

“Wow, he mastered one of those things?” Jim asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, he’s great at those things,” I explained. “It was my birthday, um, two years ago. Roy’s family took me out to the carnival that night. His mom even bought me a flower necklace.” I wasn’t wearing the necklace but that didn’t stop me from nervously playing with the one I had on.

“Oh,” Jim’s face dropped. “So, you’re close with his family.”

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “I’ve just known them forever. They’re like family to me.”

“Ah,” Jim replied, though he made no other comment on the subject. “So, what’s that?” he asked pointing to the yearbook forgotten in my hands.

“Oh, right,’ I said flipping it open. “This is me in high school.” His eyes widened as I flipped to my senior photo. My hair was back in a barrette and I was wearing a navy turtleneck. I barely had a smile on my face.

“You look exactly the same,” he commented.

“I do not,” I argued. I saw a much younger person on the page.

“Yeah, you do,” he insisted.

I shook my head. I had thought that I’d come a long way from that girl. I didn’t realize that I had so much longer to go. “Whatever, I’m in here again.” I turned to the page with the activities and pointed to the art club photo where I was standing in the back. “I was in art club,” I explained. “It was fun but we never really hung out outside of school or anything. I guess you could barely call it a club.”

Jim took the yearbook from me so he could look at it. “Is this the only other photo of you in here?” he asked as he casually turned the pages. I nodded, not sure what the big deal was. “Oh, Pam, that’s kinda sad.”

“Why?” I asked, feeling a little defensive. “What? Were you in the yearbook a million times or something?”

“Well, I knew the yearbook editor, so that had its perks,” he replied. “But, yeah, I guess I did a lot in high school. I played basketball, I did the academic bowl, was on the newspaper, I even was in choir for a semester.”

“You can sing?” I asked, my eyes lighting up.

He laughed. “No, I joined because—“ he dropped the sentence catching himself.

I wanted to know more but at that moment, Roy chose to come home.

The door burst open and Roy came in looking pleased with himself. “I’m here,” he announced. He walked over to me, placing a loose arm around me, giving me a hard kiss on the lips. I pulled away a little, not liking the taste of beer and peanuts. “Hey, why isn’t the game on?” he asked immediately.

I didn’t respond, just pushed him away. “We were talking and waiting for you.”

“Pfft,” Roy said with a wave of his hand. He didn’t even acknowledge that Jim was there with me. “Talking’s for pussies. Let’s get this party started.”

Just as Roy spoke, in came Darryl, followed by his girlfriend Justine, Kenny, and his girlfriend Kara, My jaw dropped in disbelief. “What’s going on?” I demanded as everyone made themselves comfortable in my living room.

Roy gave me a dull look as he turned on the TV. “We’re watching the game.”

“I said you could invite Darryl, not an entire party,” I argued.

“What’s wrong?” He looked insulted that I would even question him on the matter.

“I only have a few bags of chips and some pretzels,” I explained. “We don’t have enough food for everyone.”

“So we get some BBQ Buffalo Wings,” Roy suggested as if it were no big deal. “Hey, Halpert, you like wings right?”

“Um, sure,” Jim responded though I could tell wings weren’t his first choice.

“What, who doesn’t like wings?” Roy looked at Jim dumbfounded. “God, Pam just get some food.”

I moved in closer to Roy so I didn’t have to shout the real predicament to the entire room. “We don’t have the money, Roy,” I said in a harsh whisper.

“I thought we’ve been saving up?” Roy shot back.

“Yeah, for a wedding,” I reminded him.

“Hey, I’ll help,” Jim interjected. “We’ll get some pizzas.”

“Pizza sounds good,” Roy agreed. “See, Halpert knows how to have a good time. Lighten up Pam, geez.”

I was about to scream but thought better of it and immediately went into the kitchen to find the number for the pizza place. Jim followed me and I told him that he didn’t have to help pay but he insisted. He then helped me get out what few snacks and drinks we had and bring them out to the living room. Roy didn’t lift a finger to help and I gave him an angry glare when we entered the living room but Roy was concentrating too much on the game.

When the food was settled, I took my place on the couch. Jim sat next to me, at the end of the couch and when Roy wasn’t screaming at the TV, he sat on the other side. The second quarter rolled on, with everyone in the room being as loud as they could be, with the exception of Jim, who remained quiet, eyes fixated on game, every once in a while taking a sip of his beer. It didn’t look like he was having any fun at all.

At half time, when the rowdiness calmed down a little, I nudged at Roy in an attempt to get him to interact to with Jim. At first, Roy wasn’t sure what I was getting at but when I tilted my head in Jim’s direction. It took Roy a second to understand what I was getting at but eventually he figured it out and at least attempted to talk to Jim because he knew it meant something to me.

“So, Jimmy,” Roy said. I cringed at Roy’s use of a nickname I knew Jim hated. “What do you think of Williams? Time to take him out?”

Jim gave a shrug as he took a swig of beer. “He’s okay,” Jim said. “He hasn’t been that bad.”

“That bad!” Roy said in disbelief. “The guy already coughed it up twice and damn near threw another pick in the end zone.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t and he got that fumble back,” Jim countered.

“Yeah, well it’s Williams. The guy is way to scrawny to even play quarterback and he keeps getting thrown around out there.” Roy said taking a sip of his beer. “I guess he should have gone with that basketball scholarship.”

Jim looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong with basketball?”

“C’mon,” Roy started but I gave him a sharp look and he dropped the argument. “So…” Roy asked after an awkward pause. “What kinda beer is that?”

“Oh,” Jim said. I noticed he was suddenly more into the conversation. “It’s Grolsch.”

Roy looked at him funny. “It’s what?”

“It’s Dutch,” I explained. “It’s actually pretty good, you should try some.” I offered him my bottle but Roy pushed it away.

“Nah, not really my thing,” Roy said.

Jim picked at the label on his own beer bottle. “So, I guess you prefer that Miller Lite, huh?” He asked with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

Roy scrunched his nose. “God, this stuff tastes like shit,” he admitted as he downed his can of beer. “But it’s the only thing Pam lets me drink lately cause she wants me on some diet for the wedding,” he said, as if I weren’t there.

Jim, however, looked amused but said nothing as he sat back thoughtfully. The third quarter began without another word from the three of us. The pizza arrived then and when I got up to pay, Jim gave a twenty without a word.

Not much happened initially when the game started up again. The ball possession went back and forth between the two teams with little incident, making the room rather quiet as we watched. About five minutes into the quarter, Jim unzipped his hoodie and took it off, revealing a light green t-shirt that matched his eyes.

“It’s a little hot in here,” he said coolly as he placed the hoodie, along with his hands, behind his head, leaned back into the couch, and stretched his long legs out in front of him. I nodded slowly, not really agreeing, just acknowledging that he had spoken. I was trying hard not to notice the definition of muscle in his now bare arms or the sleekness of his body and how it kept…going.

I turned my attention back to the TV, trying hard to watch the little men throw the football around, but since Jim was in my peripheral vision when looking at the TV, it was hard not to occasionally glance at him. But football had never been able to keep my attention even when I wasn’t fully aware that I was sitting in between my fiancé and my best friend.

Jim shifted position slightly and when he did so, a bit of his shirt raised, exposing some skin. I tried not to look but there was something about that tiny patch of skin that began to mesmerize me and before I knew it, I was staring.

“Pam?” Jim’s voice. Thankfully not Roy’s.

I jumped, startled. My eyes flew up to his and I saw that he was amused. “What? Yes? What?”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m—I was just…thinking about something,” I stammered. I felt my cheeks flush; the room suddenly felt very warm. Thank god Roy was still invested in the game.

I saw a smile tug at Jim’s lips but he didn’t call me out. “I’m gonna get another beer, do you want one?”

“No,” I said at first, grabbing my empty beer bottle and staring intently at it. He made a motion to get up. “No, wait, yes, I do. I would like another one please.”

He smirked. “Okay,” he said as he left the room.

My eyes were on him and not the TV as he left. As I caught myself staring again, I shook my head, trying to focus anything else. The room, however, still felt very hot. I tapped Roy’s arm.

“Hey, can you open the window for me?” I asked him.

He gave me an odd look. “Why?”

“Because it’s hot in here, please?” I almost begged.

With a grunt, he obliged and reached behind him to slide the window open. I curled up next to him, placing my legs under me, though as soon as I was against him, I was overwhelmed with the scent of beer and sweat. “Ugh, did you take a shower any time today?” I couldn’t help but comment.

“Yeah, this morning,” Roy replied, confused. He placed his arm around me, though that only made the stench worse.

“I think you need another one.”

Jim came back, two beers in hand and gave me one before sitting down again.

Roy was still a little miffed at my comment. “If you’re so hot, why are you snuggling up to me?” he asked.

“I—I uh,” I blushed again when I saw Jim’s grin. “I just wanted to be close to you,” I gave.

The smile on Jim’s face faded as he turned his attention back to the TV.

I was trying hard not to rest my feet against Jim’s thigh. There wasn’t a lot of room and they way I was scrunched up next to Roy made placing my feet on the ground very uncomfortable. I kept one hand around my leg to keep it from slipping, but occasionally it did. When it did, Jim would move his leg slightly and I would shift my foot but after a while, we’d be touching again.

After the fourth or fifth time, Jim spoke up. “You’re not bothering me,” he said, softly enough so that Roy didn’t notice.

I nodded in reply and let my foot relax against his thigh. He gently rested his hand on my foot, giving it a reassuring rub to let me know I was okay, but he lingered long enough to graze my toes with his thumb. I began to feel my heart began to race, my breath quicken and to compensate, I snuggled closer to Roy.

At the beginning of the fourth quarter, Roy got up to stretch and grab some more food, causing me to go back to a normal sitting position. I crossed my legs and hunched over, hugging my knees, so that no part of me was near Jim. When Roy returned, he slammed the window shut.

“It’s freaking cold in here,” he complained.

I, however, was still hot and when he sat down again, I almost felt suffocated. For most of the fourth quarter, I remained in that hunched position, my back beginning to ache, as I did everything I could to keep my attention on the TV.

The fourth quarter wound down with little incident and it was no surprise when Penn State beat Minnesota but Roy, having consumed almost a half dozen beers, couldn’t resist kissing me. Not just a small peck but a slobbery kiss that lasted a little longer than it should have for having company. Roy wasn’t the only one worked up. Darryl and Kenny were getting close to their girlfriends, too, snuggling up and hugging them.

“Good game, huh Halpert?” Roy said, as he kept his arm firmly around me.

“Uh, yeah,” Jim could hardly speak. He looked as though he were going to be ill. I immediately felt guilty that he was the odd man out and I pulled away from Roy. Jim, however, was already moving to get up. “I should go,” he said. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“Are you sure?” I asked, standing up with him. Roy’s attention was already turned towards Darryl and the post game show. He didn’t even notice that Jim was preparing to leave.

“Yeah, I can’t stay,” Jim said as he put his hoodie back on. “I’ve got this…thing with my brother tomorrow. And I have to get up early…”

“Oh,” I frowned. “Um, okay.” I wasn’t sure what to say as I walked with him up to the door. “I had a nice time,” I told him.

“Yeah,” his responded, his voice barely a whisper. “Me, too.” He smiled but it seemed forced. “But, I’ll see you Monday, right.”

“Definitely,” I grinned as I opened the door for him.

He lingered in the doorway a moment, almost as if he was hesitant to go, but with one last nod of his head, he left. I shut door behind him, wondering a little to myself what had caused his good mood from when he arrived to disappear.

When I reentered the living room, Roy, Darryl, and Kenny were in a deep discussion about the game and Darryl and Kenny’s girlfriends were discussing the fashion of some reality star. None of them seemed to noticed that Jim had left nor even that I was back. It was a weird feeling, but I felt lonely being in a room full of people.

I began to clean up, taking empty cups and plates back to the kitchen. When I went for the empty beer bottles that Jim had finished, I noticed that each of the labels were slightly torn in the same corner. It amused me that I had discovered this habit though in noticing it, I began to feel a little sad that I had to wait until Monday before talking to him again. I stared at the empty end of the couch where had sat and wished that he was still there.

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