You find yourself hobbling to the bathroom just moments after Jim leaves to go buy every baby book imaginable. Neither of you know if you’re allowed to take Tylenol when you’re… with child? And in his haste, he neglects the efficiency of the internet and heads straight to Barnes and Nobel.
When you woke up this morning, you were just another woman, sleeping in bed next to her fiancé, and getting up to go to a summer company picnic. Then suddenly the whole world is shifting, toppling over everything you know and believe, and not only is your foot wrapped in a beige bandage but you’re pregnant. Like, for real, pregnant with a baby. Holy crap.
You stand in front of the full length bathroom mirror, close your eyes, and pull your shirt quickly over your stomach. You stand there quietly, inhaling and exhaling with nervousness and finally squint one eye open, lowering it slowly to your abdomen.
Which is flat.
Huh.
Your eyes pop open as you turn to the side, staring at every curve, until you’re almost completely turned around. You note that it’s probably weird to be gawking at yourself in a mirror like this, but you’re still in too much shock to care much. You poke at your stomach, still taut from the crunches you force yourself to do every other morning, and tilt your head to the side.
You don’t look pregnant. Right?
You run a hand down your belly, patting it softly, wondering how big your baby is right now. The doctor said you’re only four or so weeks, so it can’t be that big. You should remember back from your health ed classes, but who really paid attention in that class to baby development. Everyone was too busy giggling over the anatomically correct drawn pictures of genitalia.
You pull your shirt down over your stomach and frown as you shuffle back to the couch, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator as you pass the kitchen.
You’ve just sat down when Jim comes barreling through the door, an extra large bag of books in his right hand and a CVS bag in his left. He stops in front of you, handing both bags to you before leaning down to grab your face with both hands, kissing you eagerly. He plops down next to you as you grin.
“So,” He starts. “According to Things to Expect When You’re Expecting you can use acetaminophen when you’re pregnant, but no ibuprofen. I had no idea which was which or what the hell was in the cabinet, so I stopped and got you Tylenol.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“Uh, you take more Tylenol that anyone I know. How did you not know what was in the cabinet?”
Jim scoffs.
“That’s irrelevant. Plus, it’s not my fault that sometimes I get hurt and need drugs.”
“I didn’t realize a paper cut qualified as ‘getting hurt’.”
“It was between my fingers and it was extremely painful, Beesly”.
You bite your lip in laughter, and your heart spills over as you realize that this man is the father of the little person you’re growing inside your uterus. God, he’s so cute.
“Regardless, thank you for getting me drugs. I’m actually OK though, my ankle is just a little tender.”
Jim stares at you hard, his eyes moving over your face.
“Are you sure?”
You smile.
“Yes, oh overprotective one. I’m fine.”
Your fiancé sighs, and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him, his other hand coming across his body to rest on your stomach.
“Just be sure, ok? You’re housing some pretty precious cargo, I want to make sure you’re perfect.”
You rest your head on his shoulder and think back to last month.
=================
You were at the gynecologist office, for an annual checkup. You were sitting on the table, stirrups precariously hoisted up to your left, as the doctor came in.
“Well, Pam, I heard you’re engaged! Congratulations!”
You smiled widely, glancing down at the shining diamond glinting in the April sunshine.
“I am! Thank you,” You said.
You spoke briefly about how you’d been feeling on the pill, and your doctor flips through your records.
“Have you thought about having children?”
You nod, remembering Jim’s niece’s birthday party the weekend before. You think about how the little girls swarmed around you as they watched you draw pictures of the cake, of their names in bubble letters, of butterflies and dragonflies and castles.
“I have,” You said. “Once we’ve gotten married, of course. But soon… I wouldn’t be upset with a honeymoon baby.”
The doctor nods, flipping more pages.
“You’ve been on the pill for almost thirteen years,” She begins. “Long term usage won’t hurt your chances of becoming pregnant, but you might want to consider going off within a few months of getting married if you want to have a child soon after. Every woman is different, and 90% can easily get pregnant after being on the pill for so long, but just in case, it might be something to look into. Of course you should still use other forms of birth control so you don’t have a surprise before the wedding, but it’s your choice, as always.”
You shake your head yes, and smile.
That night, as you lay in bed with Jim, nuzzling his cheek and running your hand dangerously close to the waistband of his boxers, you mention that you threw out your birth control pills when you had gotten home.
Jim slid on top of you, tangling his left hand in your hair as his right moved over your chest.
“What do you mean?”
You got comfortable under him, running your hands over the muscles on his back, digging your nails into his shoulders as his fingers pinch and roll some extremely sensitive skin gently.
“I mean I’m taking you up on the idea of a honeymoon baby,” You moan into his ear.
The only sounds you heard from then on were groans and grunts, babies and birth control all but forgotten.
===============
You look up at your fiancé, placing your hand over his, still resting on your abdomen.
“Looks like a honeymoon baby is out, huh?”
Jim laughs.
“Unless we move the wedding up.”
“I’ve thought about it. How do you feel about October?”
“Love it. I hate April, anyways.”
“You said you loved the idea of an April wedding…”
“I just said that to get in your pants.”
“No. Way. You said April was perfect because the leaves were finally green and the Phillies hadn’t completely jacked up their season yet and flowers were blooming…”
Jim looks at you with an eyebrow raised. Your head falls back into the sofa.
“Oh my God, you just said that to get in my pants.”
He laughs and kisses the side of your head.
“Sorry Beesly, when you suggested April you were wearing that green low cut shirt and your boobs just looked… ugh, awesome.”
“OK, Kevin, enough about my boobs. Do you think we can move the wedding up? I don’t think my parents would be thrilled holding their grandchild as we get married.”
“How do you even know it’s a baby? Could be a platypus in there, for all we know.”
“A platypus? How would we diaper it?”
“We’ll have to cut a hole in the diapers for the tail, I suppose.”
“That could take a lot of time.”
“We’ll hire someone to do it. When they world sees its first platypus bearing human mother, money will just come rolling in.”
“I’m glad you’ve thought about this in such detail.”
“This is what I’m here for, Pam. I don’t just make babies, I think about the best way to exploit them.”
You giggle and rest your head against Jim’s chest. You’ve only known about the pregnancy for… three hours, but the next nine months? You just know the next nine months are going to be a wild ride.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
