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He had been standing there for 10 minutes, at least, staring at the front door, playing with the key in his hand, replaying that night over and over again.

He meant to tell her about Stamford, about the transfer and the promotion, but she kept going on and on about taking his money and smiling and looking so beautiful that it was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

“I’m in love with you.” He could tell she was shocked, frozen in her spot. “What?”

“I’m sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to know that. It’s probably not good timing, I know that…”

“What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?” Her words cut through him, right to his heart, and it hurt a little more than he thought it would.

“I just needed you to know… once.” He knew that was the truth – that if he was leaving and she was going to go through with that marriage that she should know how he really felt. He felt his heart break little by little as she stuttered around her ‘I can’t’ and how she talked about how much she needed him as a friend, but he was tired of settling. He wanted more than that, deserved more than that, and he let her know. She tried to take the blame, but he didn’t want her to do anything that might make her feel better, not right now.

“I’m sorry that I misinterpreted our friendship.” And for the first time ever, he walked away from her without saying another word or giving her a smile. He went back inside and drained a couple more beers, hoping the alcohol would make the pain go away, but it didn’t. He went upstairs to get his keys so that he could leave, but there she was, talking on his phone. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on her conversation, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“About 10 minutes ago.” He closed his eyes, wondering who she was telling the story to.

“No, I didn’t know what to say… Yes, I know… I don’t know, Mom, he’s my best friend…Yeah, he’s great… Yeah, I think I am.” He opened his eyes and pushed himself off the wall, wondering what those last four words meant.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked in. She stiffened and whipped around. “I have to go… I will.” She turned back to him and he could her eyes glistening with unshed tears. He hated that he did that to her, but she needed to know and he needed her to know. He also needed, just once… “Jim, listen…”

He wasn’t interested in words, not anymore. Actions spoke so much louder. He could learn so much more through one simple action, so he ripped his hands from his pockets and pulled her into him, pressing his lips to hers. For a moment, he thought that he had been wrong, until she ran her hands into his hair. He knew, then, that he was right, that he hadn’t misinterpreted anything.

She pushed against his chest and he stepped back, looking down at her. “Jim, listen…”

“You kissed me back.” She stared at him. “What?”

“You kissed me back. I knew I wasn’t wrong.”

“Jim, I told you, I can’t.”

“Yeah, but you kissed me back.”

“That was a mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Jim, it really was. I shouldn’t have…”

“But you did. That’s got to mean something.”

She pushed hard against his chest, forcing him away from her. She glared at him. “It didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake, one that will not happen again.” She grabbed her purse off his desk and stormed out of the office.

He brooded all weekend and by Monday morning, he was pissed. He didn’t even look at her when he walked in. She transferred his calls without saying a word. He ate his lunch with Ryan and Kevin and she barely talked to anyone at all. By the end of the week, he was glad that his trip was in two weeks. He needed to get out, to have a break, to not be there anymore. He put in his notice with Michael and didn’t even glance over at her when Michael told everyone he was leaving. She called in his last day before his trip and he was actually glad she wasn’t around.

He looked at the door one last time before putting one foot in front of the other. He quietly put the key in the lock and turned it, opening the door. He shut it and made his way through the house. He was about to turn down the hallway, thinking that she might be asleep, when he saw her sitting outside. She had turned the chaise lounge so that he could see the side of her face. He walked into the kitchen and stopped. He could only watch as she sipped a glass of wine and wiped the tears from her face. It broke his heart to see her cry, it always had. The day that Roy had talked her out of the internship was the day Ryan had to talk him out of trying to beat the crap out of Roy in the parking lot.

He watched as she dropped her head. He took a step and saw the tears falling freely down her face and onto her shirt. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He slid the back door open.

Pam heard the door and her head shot up. She wiped her face as best she could with her hand. “Wow, Jamie, I didn’t think you would be back so…” she froze as she looked over her shoulder. She looked him up and down.

“You’re not Jamie.”

“No, I’m not” Jim said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“What are you doing here?”

TBC…

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