Pam's evolution into Fancy New Beesly continues in A Benihana Christmas. Not only is Pam showing an increased amount of confidence, but she is also liberated in standing up for herself. For the first time, she doesn't back to down to Angela. She stands up to her in a big way with the help of Karen. Which brings us to Pam's next development of being more social with those around her. Old Pam was not much of a social butterfly, but she is clearly moving away from her introverted past as she reaches out to Karen.
Even with all of these changes, Pam has retained the best parts of herself, namely her warm and caring heart. As much as she enjoyed standing up to Angela she knew when it was time to stop and repair the fissure between them. She may dislike Angela but she doesn't want to hurt her and remain angry. Pam's behavior towards Roy is another example of her caring spirit. Despite the fact that they are no longer a couple, Pam is still friendly and helpful to Roy. Pam also finds a way to brighten Toby's Christmas by giving her (supposedly) Dunder-Mifflin bath robe to him. It was refreshing to see her warmth out in the open rather than hidden inside. The only way we saw this previously was through Jim.
The fact that Pam has figured out how to open up to herself and everyone else will undoubtedly help her find a way to open up to Jim. She is still trying to figure out how to behave around him and how to communicate with him. Things have improved significantly since The Merger, but it's still not the way it was before. It's ironic that Pam is finding it easier to relate to everyone else but Jim when before he was the only one in which she felt comfortable. Pam's continued toned down behavior is not only giving Jim the space he needs, but it is also giving her time to figure him out. Win-Win!
It's obvious the reconnection between Jim and Pam is getting stronger but there are still a few bumps in the road. Even with Pam's perfect Christmas gift, the connection wavered. This is brought on by neither side's ability to talk about the past. Pam has to find the courage to open up to Jim. She has to get past the notion of waiting to see if Jim still has any feelings for her. She's eventually going to have to throw caution to the wind. Needless to say, we have a long wait before she does this, but her behavior in this episode shows she's on the right track.
This week included major JAM events, but it also included pivotal FNB developments. In the spirit of Pam's evolution, scenes depicting FNB developments will be included in tandem with JAM analysis. FNB is crucial to JAM and deserves the utmost attention!
Jim's Christmas Gift:
Pam has managed to come up with the perfect Christmas gift for Jim. The gift itself was probably not meant to be a gift for Jim as she started a couple of months ago before he was back in Scranton. She simply took something she had for her own amusement and refashioned it for Jim. This is in alignment with her more subtle approach to Jim. The gift is not too personal and yet it is laced with the same humor that reconnected them in the first place. She knows if she gets a gift that is too personal or sentimental she will scare him away.
At the same time FNB is taking a subtle initiative. She knows the ball is in her court. Jim made the move to reconnect with his prank. Now, it's her turn to further the connection with a prank of her own. But she knows better than to make Jim the target. It would be too bold. Instead she chooses their previous favorite third party in which to center her prank. Pam's prank is right on par with Jim's prank in The Convict but she is bumping it up a notch by inviting him to be her accomplice right at the start. This is a bold but still subtle move on her part. Furthermore, Pam is playing on her strength of humor. She knows that Jim loves her sense of humor. She's showing him FNB can put together a fabulous prank, which will hopefully impress him.
When Pam calls Jim up to her desk she is nervous and excited about giving him her gift. She knows he's probably not expecting anything from her. On top of that, she is taking a chance at furthering their reconnection. However, she is very optimistic that it will be well received. She knows this is something he will love. The prank/gift is so Jim. She slowly hands Jim the "classified" file of Dwight's communication with the CIA, as if playing the role of a spy. This is a bit of a reference of a secret joke between just the two of them. Just as Jim created a "secret" inside joke with his prank, Pam is doing the same thing with hers.
As he's paging through the file she is explaining the details of the prank with great pride. She is trying to impress him with FNB and the logistics and preparation of this prank. She can tell he loves it and her face is lit up like a Christmas tree. With Jim's smile at the explanation of his gift, Pam believes that she has hit it perfectly. She smiles at him anxiously while she waits for him to respond. Her optimism is hard to ignore. She has no doubt at this point that Jim will play along with her on the prank.
To say that Pam is surprised by Jim's rejection of the gift is a gross understatement. Initially, she is confused by Jim's reaction. She is questioning whether she read his signals correctly in the prank he pulled on her. Pam fashioned the gift on the assumption that it was her turn to pull a prank with Jim as her accomplice. Now it appears to her that she was wrong. Furthermore, Jim's "I really don't think I should be doing stuff like this anymore," doesn't make any sense as he's already pulled pranks since being back in Scranton. She knows he loved it and she's lost on why he rejected the gift.
It takes a second for it to click that he's not rejecting the gift, he's rejecting her. This hurts her deeply but she manages to stay composed. Her response of "I get it" roughly translates to I get it. You don't want to do this with me. As Jim walks away she manages small uncomfortable smile. She's thinking, Ooops. I may have just blown it. She's wondering if she'd made a mistake by giving Jim a gift, even though it was a perfect gift. Pam is questioning whether she crossed the line.
Jim gives her a small smile as he walks away. Pam understands this smile is telling her he loved the gift but he just isn't ready for it. She could also tell that Jim really wanted to pull the prank with her, but something else made him walk away. It's here that Pam is starting to realize just how much Jim is hurting. She is also starting to realize that she caused some of that pain. This flicker of realization is tough to catch, but it is there for a split second, (watch closely, it's really fast!). This awareness is crucial to JAM. This has been discussed relentlessly on previous posts in this thread, (I challenge you to find them!) as well as on the original Pam Dichotomy. Pam has to be the one to initiate the discussion of CN. Jim is unlikely to take on this role. She can't approach Jim about this until she understands everything he's been through and understands his pain. This is a preliminary instance of her understanding Jim's perspective.
However, the sting of his rejection is clouding a full awareness of the reason for his rejection. When his back to her, she lets some of the hurt show on her face. She is overwhelmed with disappointment. She was so sure this would work out. In addition she is revisiting her thoughts that she made a mistake. Pam is again worried that she has stepped over the line again and she's not sure how to fix it. So, not only is she hurt by the rejection but she is kicking herself for possibly coming on too strong. She's worried about being on the receiving end of Jim's cold shoulder again.
Party Planning Committee:
Pam is next involved in the thrilling task of planning the office Christmas party under the dictatorship of Angela. As Karen starts to rattle off some fun ideas for the party, Pam snaps to life. She really likes Karen's ideas. When Angela kicks Karen off the committee Pam obviously feels bad for her. She wants to say something but Old Pam isn't completely out of her system. The blow she received from Jim's rejection is still pretty ripe and she's still feeling down. Pam had stepped out of her safety zone by finding the courage to Jim a Christmas gift and she was crushed. The fact that he rejected makes her reluctant to step out of her safety bubble again, (at least not alone). Add the fact that Pam has never really stood up to Angela. Pam isn't quite ready to stand up to her on her own. Let's face it Angela is just plain scary!
Talking Head:
Pam begins her talking head with a self-realization that she's been cold to Karen. She furthers this by saying "It's not like she ever done anything to me." This is Pam's way of admitting that she's been avoiding Karen because of Jim. She's a little jealous of her so she's kept her distance. The problem is Pam really likes Karen and feels guilty about giving her the cold shoulder. Pam says she "probably shouldn't be so cold to her," as a way to affirm to herself that she shouldn't let her feelings for Jim cloud her judgment in regards to Karen. The events of the party planning committee gave her the resolve to reach out to Karen.
Talking with Karen:
Pam starts off her conversation by apologizing for the events of the meeting. Pam's apology has a double meaning in that she's also apologizing for her cold behavior. This is Pam's way of making amends without having to explain herself or her connection to Jim.
Pam next expresses interest in Karen's party ideas as a way to not only start conversation but to also begin an open line of communication. Pam is actually initiating a proposal to stand up to Angela. Pam knows she needs Karen to pull this off.
Pam sees Karen's strength and is drawn to it. This happens shortly after her debacle with Jim so its natural she's looking for some level of emotional support. In seasons 1 and 2 Jim fulfilled this role. Karen exudes confidence and Pam is feeding off of it to rebuild herself.
Karen represents a chance for FNB to overcome Old Pam tendencies. Her confidence needs a reboot after Jim's rejection. Standing up to Angela is a direct reaction to her failure with Jim earlier. Besides, Pam actually hit if off with Karen right from the start. By avoiding Karen, Pam has been avoiding a potentially good friendship. FNB has to be careful though as Karen is in Jim's realm.
Flyer War:
Pam finds new strength in Karen to stand up to Angela. As the flyer war starts Pam is noticeably excited at the prospect of sticking it to Angela. She is exuding confidence with the help of Karen at her side. There is strength in numbers after all! Pam is well aware that she never would have done this without Karen. Pam plays off of Karen's set-up of the "more fun party" perfectly indicating that they do indeed share a similar sense of humor, (no wonder Jim finds comfort in Karen and is attracted to her).
As Pam and Karen run off giggling at the expense of Angela Pam can't believe she just pulled this off. She feels liberated. Some of her inhibitions fueled by fear and shyness have been confronted. Furthermore, she is clearly enjoying Karen's company.
Talking to Roy:
Pam shows just how caring she is by holding yet another friendly conversation with Roy. Roy is clearly trying very hard to initiate a conversation with Pam but she is not biting. Pam is being friendly enough but she is keeping her distance. She doesn't want to send any mixed signals. She knows Roy is still trying to get her back and she wants no part of that.
All the while, she looks like she's waiting for Roy to leave already. It reminds me of her response to Roy in Branch Closing. She is slightly annoyed at his overt attempts to get her attention. Pam doesn't fall for his obvious humor ploy of "not using the cartoons in the newspaper" for wrapping paper. Pam handles this with low key sarcasm as a way to combat his efforts. It plays along with his joke, but also sends the message that she's not interested. It's important to note that Pam is only responding to Roy. She is not initiating any part of the conversation. Roy is the one trying to keep the conversation going. This is a conscious effort on her part.
As Roy leaves, Karen tells Pam that Roy is cute and that she "should date him." Pam was initially going to tell Karen about her past with Roy but suddenly changes her mind. Pam's split second decision is based not on her past with Roy, but her past with Jim. Telling Karen about her broken engagement might lead to questions as to why she cancelled her wedding. This is very personal and Pam isn't necessarily ready to talk about it freely. FNB still holds onto the Old Pam tendency of guarding her privacy. Karen is a relatively new acquaintance and this is a deeply personal and vulnerable part of Pam's life. She is not about to spill her guts to such a new person in her life.
Furthermore, the conversation could lead to Jim. Pam doesn't want to give Karen any indication of her past with Jim. On another level, Pam is still reeling from Jim's rejection. The fact that someone is telling her to be with Roy is jarring. She may be subconsciously questioning her decision of leaving a sure thing with Roy to pursue the now seemingly slight possibility of Jim.
Competing Parties:
As the two parties compete for attendees Pam gets brave enough to shoot Angela a dirty look. Pam has never had the gumption to do this even though Angela has deserved it in the past. The closest she ever got to giving Angela the evil eye was in Conflict Resolution but, that was really only a, I can't believe you said that, look. She's never had the courage to throw in a little attitude. Pam is letting Angela know she's no longer afraid of her or under her thumb. Way to go Pam!
Making Up with Angela:
Despite FNB's glorious victory over Angela, Pam still has elements of Old Pam's heart. Pam has managed to keep the best parts of herself intact in the midst of her internal make-over. As much fun as it was to stick it to Angela, Pam knows enough is enough. She notices that Angela is really upset. For Pam this was mostly about fun and asserting herself. Her intention wasn't to necessarily hurt Angela. Pam's moral center just won't allow her to take it that far.
She ultimately secures a truce to save the spirit of (a Nutcracker) Christmas. Pam's showcases this same compassion earlier with Roy in the break room, and also later with Toby by giving him her Dunder Mifflin bathrobe. It's this warm heart that will help her with Jim. She showed how sensitive and responsive she is to other people's feelings. She has to use this same gift with Jim. If anything to she has to fine tune it to pick up on all the emotions he is keeping buried. As mentioned earlier she is starting to pick up on some of his pain.
Watching Jim Hug Karen:
Pam did not like Jim's arms around someone else at all. She had jealousy ripping through every fiber of her being. Pam also feels a bit envious. Her jealous stare included a longing look in which she wishes it was her in Karen's place. From the looks of things, Jim has just accepted a gift from Karen. This is a stark contrast to Jim's response to her gift. It's hard for her to watch him react to someone else the way she wanted him to react to her. Furthermore, Pam just spent most of the day with Karen. Pam knows Karen is a good match for Jim, which makes their hug even harder for her to see. In true Pam fashion she keeps it under wraps. Especially after she notices the camera has caught her. She quickly turns away and diverts her attention.
Roy's Gift:
Pam obviously likes the gift Roy gives to her. Again, she is showing her warm heart by accepting his gift. She doesn't want to say no (she knows what that feels like) and hurt him. Roy was a big part of her life and a small part of her will always love him. She gives Roy a hug in thanks for the gift. At first glance it seems Pam is warming up to Roy, but that is hardly the case. Given Pam's earlier scene with Roy she is unlikely to rekindle anything with him. She keeps the hug casual, but warm as only Pam can pull off.
Interestingly, Pam's casual hug parallels Jim and Karen's hug. Given Jim's rebound speech and mutual jealousy of both hugs, I don't think we have anything to worry about! Pam's not longing for Roy and Jim isn't entirely focused on Karen.
Jim Accepts Pam's Gift:
As Pam types at her desk, Jim says goodnight to her on his way over to the coat rack. She responds in kind with a smile. It looks like she wants to say more, but thinks better of it. She is a little more self conscious of coming on too strong so she restrains her response to a simple goodnight. She kills her smile after telling herself, Stop, Pam, just stop.
Aside from Pam's emotional state, I noticed something at her desk as Jim grabs his coat off the rack. She has a picture Jim drew of her tacked up at her desk. It's easy to see right around 40:27 into the episode. Look under the message divider rack. I think this sketch was visible on one of the season 2 DVD menus (I don't remember which one), but I'm not sure. All I know is I've seen this sketch on Pam's desk before! I love it that Pam keeps a little piece of Jim at her desk! I digress, but I felt it was worth mentioning!
Pam's face is wearing a thousand words as Jim accepts Pam's gift by laying out his chosen mission for Dwight. Her face conveys an odd mixture of an internal dialogue and non-verbal messages to Jim. On an internal level Pam is simply overjoyed for a number of reasons. She can hardly contain herself. She was holding back a gigantic smile in the name of self-preservation. She didn't want to overly express her excitement to Jim. This would go against her "subtlety is best" strategy. Pam knows Jim is redacting (hee hee! I laugh every time I use this word) his rejection of her by accepting the gift. This is a huge load off of Pam's shoulders.
All the self-doubt that had been weighing on her mind and heart has been alleviated. She also knows her gift was not a mistake and she did not cross the line, Oh my God, I did this right. A slight amount of surprise is detectable on Pam's face at this realization. Pam's bold yet subtle move has paid off. Jim is coming back around. Much of this can be credited to Pam's reaction to Jim's rejection. She didn't make a scene, nor did she press the issue. This is a manifestation of Pam's beginning awareness of Jim's pain.
On another more hidden internal level, Pam's subconscious is no longer questioning her decision in regards to Roy, (as per the break room). Jim doesn't feel like such a distant impossibility as he did earlier in the day. As far as non-verbal cues go, Pam is careful not to send too strong a message. Jim's face packs a load of messages (more on that face later in The Jim Paradox S3 thread!), but the most obvious is, I'm sorry about before. Pam catches this immediately and sends, Don't worry about it. I'm glad your back. There's also a hint of, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist, but this is only subtly directed at Jim as she mostly saying this to herself. She knows he's back and ready to prank with her.
It's important to note that her gift was never about the prank. It was about solidifying their connection and renewing their friendship/relationship, (or whatever you want to call it). Jim's accepting of the gift means he's accepting some sort of a relationship with Pam.
Pam is smart to break off the eye contact before things get to heavy. She doesn't want to scare him off again. So, she jumps right into the logistics of pulling off Jim's mission for Dwight. She plays along by suggesting they get Dwight a bus ticket with her usual playful sarcasm. It fits with the prank but, this is the same mechanism used in the Initiation conversation. She's keeping the monumental moment of Jim's acceptance light and low key. Again, she is utilizing her subtle approach. It looks like humor will once again mask much of Jim and Pam's emotional states just as in Seasons 1 and 2. I'm personally looking forward to this development!
Pam is delighted at Jim's suggestion of the CIA sending a helicopter. Jim is actively taking part in elevating the prank to a higher level. This confirms to Pam that Jim is really back. She allows her amusement to shine through a laugh and big smile. She feels safe enough to let some of these emotions out. Jim is not going anywhere at this point. Things feel like they are returning to normal and Pam couldn't be happier!
- - -
Despite Stellar JAM developments, the split personality remains entrenched in my psyche.
JAM Optimist:
1) Pam is starting to become aware of how much Jim is hurting.
2) Pam is still giving Jim the time and space he needs.
3) Pam is not interested in rekindling anything with Roy.
4) FNB - enough said!
5) Pam took the initiative with her gift to Jim. Bravo!
6) Pam's confidence is growing.
JAM Pessimist:
1) Pam still doesn't have a full understanding on how much Jim is hurting.
2) Pam still doesn't have enough confidence to tell Jim how she feels. . . yet.
3) Jim's relationship with Karen is intimidating to Pam.
Questions to Ponder:
1) Should Pam have told Karen about Roy? Why did she hold back?
2) Should Pam continue her friendship with Karen? What are the potential benefits and pitfalls?
3) Is Pam using Karen? (Think about this one for a little bit! There are a million ways to look at this!)
4) What is Pam's assessment of Jim and Karen's relationship? What does she think is happening between Jim and Karen? What evidence does she have to support her perspective? How is it affecting how she behaves around both of them? (I posted this earlier, but I think it's more appropriately placed her in the QTP!)
5) Did Pam get Roy a Christmas gift?
6) What is Pam's next move? Does she continue her strategy of subtlety or does she step it up a notch?
Chapter End Notes:
This post was written ten years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
