It would appear Pam has taken a step backwards at first glance. She's back to her old hair, make-up, and wardrobe (she's wearing the same sweater she wore in The Fire). However, she has taken an important step forward in developing FNB, albeit a very painful step. One of the things Pam must do is to understand some of Jim's pain. She got a small taste of what he endured for more than 3 years. It was a bit of a shock to her system, causing an emotional breakdown. Pam crying surely broke the heart of anyone who was watching. It even effected Dwight!
Pam's emotional difficulties relate primarily to the changing dynamic of JAM. In the past Jim has been the driving force in keeping JAM alive. He was a "friend with oomph," meaning he would go beyond the role of a friend without going over the line (that is until Casino Night). Jim is no longer playing his part, as he's only allowing the reestablishment of the friendship portion of the relationship. Pam now has to step up to the plate and be the new driving force for JAM. The problem is, she doesn't get it that the ball is in her court. Pam keeps expecting Jim to return to his old role. As a result, she's reverting to her role of being a friend without any oomph. This also has a lot to do with her subtle behavior approach to Jim, but it's clear now that the subtle approach isn't as much contrived as it is habit.
In effect, Pam is stuck. Even though she wants more than a friendship with Jim, she doesn't know how to do it, nor does she know how to let him know that's what she wants. This would probably be a problem even if there was no Karen. However, Karen does add a new dimension of Pam's limbo. She wants Jim to be happy, even it means without her. What a pickle. Oddly, this mirrors Jim's case of limbo. He's obviously in limbo for different reasons, but the point is both Jim and Pam are stuck with seemingly no way out until communication improves between them. Luckily, an increase in communication seems to be the trend.
Break Room - Part 1:
It didn't take long for Pam to pick up on Jim's bothered stated of mind as she walked in to the break room for some coffee. The fact that she's catching and reacting on his more subtle emotions is a good sign. She needs to practice this in order to pick up on Jim's buried emotions, pain, and fear. She's asks him the obvious question, "Are you Okay?" She doesn't believe him for a second as he tells her nothing is wrong. She presses him again and gets the same response.
Pam didn't give up or shy away from him, which is a very FNB trait. After his second dodge of the question, Pam simply shoots him a non-verbal cue to remind him of who he's talking to. She knows him better than anyone and he's not fooling her. She's in effect telling him, C'mon, it's me. Talk to me. It's her way of prodding him to spill the beans. Jim picks up on her cue and finally reveals he's having a fight with Karen. Pam isn't exactly thrilled to hear that this is the problem. Her "oh" is downtrodden and laced with a sense of What have I gotten myself into?
She's a little reluctant to continue the conversation. She is extremely hesitant in asking him if he wants to talk about it. Pam isn't sure if she wants to hear about Jim's relationship with Karen. Furthermore, she doesn't know if she should. This is a very gray area between them filled with loads of uneasiness. This is a big line to cross. However, Pam's curiosity and compassion get the best of her. She can't help but be his friend. After Jim expresses his doubt of talking about it, Pam sends him another non verbal cue to reassure him that it's alright to talk about Karen. She's telling him it's alright to talk to her about anything. This is opening up a much closer line of communication that transcends small talk and goes much deeper.
Break Room - Part 2:
Pam is noticeably uncomfortable as Jim lays out the details of his argument with Karen. She is slouching with her shoulders and arms closed in. Her face is tight with discomfort as well, but she is trying to hide it with her "listening face." When Jim is done, Pam's reaction is wrought with multiple meanings. She breaks eye contact with him and gives a nonchalant yet uncertain "Hmmmm." Pam is a little uncomfortable with knowing this information about Jim and Karen, but she's also intrigued as her raised eyebrows signify. She's a little surprised that something so small is bothering Jim so much. It seems so ridiculous, but it clues her into the status of the relationship. She now knows Jim is having a problem with it becoming too serious. Jim is having commitment issues!
On top of this, Pam is feeling her own emotions for Jim. She feels how much she misses him and loves him with a touch of jealousy to top it off. She's holding all of this insight and emotion back as she looks down at the table. Jim has just provided her with a golden opportunity as she could easily tell Jim that he's right and Karen is wrong. However, her moral center and compassionate nature won't let her do something like this because she knows that Jim is unhappy and upset with his current situation. Pam is Jim's friend first and foremost, despite her desire for more than that. Essentially, Pam is trapped. She can't do or say anything to sabotage the relationship, but at the same time it hurts her that he's with Karen. She doesn't know what to say and staring at the table buys her some time. Jim doesn't let her do it for long as he calls her on it by quoting her "hmmm" and slightly imitating her facial reaction followed by a "what." He knows she has something to say.
This section of the scene closely mirrors the dialogue and interaction between Jim and Pam during their poker scene in Casino Night. Pam is bluffing or holding back in both scenes. In poker she's trying to get him to put forth more money and in the break room she's trying to get him to share more information and talk to her. In poker she's trying to hold back the strength of her hand and in the break room she's holding back her observations on Jim's situation as well her personal feelings for Jim. In both scenes Jim emulates her facial expression, (although a little more subtly in the break room along with restating her line) and attaches it to "What?" in order to draw out her thoughts. In both instances he knows she's holding back. It's his way of calling her on it. This is an indicator that a big chunk of JAM's non-verbal communication has been reestablished.
Pam is flustered that he caught her stalling. Pam looks up and then back down again as she's trying to figure out what to say.
Right before she looks down, there is a flicker of a longing look in Jim's direction. She has to find a way to give Jim advice that doesn't close the door she's trying to keep open for him. Pam responds by giving a rather neutral answer of "I think you should go a little easy on her." This answer doesn't necessarily tell Jim what to do for his situation, as it really puts the decision back on him. Honestly, there is no way out for her other than this route. Compassion also kicks in as Pam's answer masks her real advice that he was freaking out over something very small. She's calming him down and getting him to see the reality of the situation, without sounding overly supportive of his relationship with Karen.
Talking Head:
It's obvious right from the start that Pam is either lying through her teeth or is fooling herself in to believing that it didn't bother her to help Jim with his relationship problems. The words don't match her face at all. Pam is clearly frustrated with her status. She goes as far as equating her status with Jim to her friendship with Phyllis. Unfortunately, Pam feels the current situation calls for her to reluctantly accept her position as just a friend. To make matters worse, the friendship is still weird. There is an air of defeat in Pam's monologue. She knows she has to go along with this status as long as Jim is in a relationship with someone else. Here face is screaming, What else am I supposed to do?
Break Room - Part 3:
After dispensing her advice, Pam is desperate for the subject to change. She's had about as much as she can handle. Pam fundamentally put Jim's happiness above her own, which strongly mirrors Jim's behavior throughout season 2, but it's very new concept to her and she's having trouble dealing with the broken heart that accompanies this practice. She's feeling the equivalent of Jim's pain when Pam talked to him about Roy. Hopefully, Pam has made the connection.
Jim rescues her from her anguish by giving her a heartfelt thank you for helping him, thus ending the subject. She warmly smiles back and says "Don't worry about it." She's really telling that she'll always be there for him no matter what. Pam doesn't let that linger too long and changes the subject to the all too familiar escape of Michael's antics. The mood immediately lightens and an aspect their "old" friendship comes to life. Pam's body language becomes much more open and relaxed as does Jim. Pam knows Jim is down and this is the perfect way to cheer him up and subsequently herself. Once again, humor is being used by both sides to mask some of the tension both are experiencing. They are making each other laugh and once again continuing to reconnect on another communicative level.
It's fairly obvious throughout the entire break room conversation that Pam and Jim miss each other and the closeness of their prior relationship. They took turns giving small looks to each other. Despite the difficult subject of the conversation, both felt the connection on deeper verbal and non-verbal levels. It's the lost and missing piece to the puzzle. JAM needs to continue rebuilding these deeper lines of communication if a full reconciliation is to occur.
With Karen:
Karen comes up to Pam with a huge thank you for her help with "Halpert." Pam puts a big smile on her face, albeit forced. Just about everything Pam says and does from this point on is a show for Karen. Pam is probably a little surprised that Jim told Karen she was responsible for talking sense into him. She doesn't want Karen to know how much it hurts, so she puts on that fake smile and jokes that Jim is being "ridiculous." "Don't worry about it," has an entirely different meaning in this context. Underneath that statement is Pam telling Karen she doesn't want to hear anymore. Pam didn't want to know the outcome of her advice. She found out the hard way that hearing details about the relationship is extremely painful. She knows that she just helped make Jim and Karen closer both geographically and relationship-wise. She doesn't want Karen thanking her for that. Her expression as Karen walks away is one of, What have I done?" She feels her chances with Jim slipping away even further.
Pam Crying:
First of all, this scene was incredibly difficult to watch. Pam is crying for a number of reasons, not just the situation of the day with Jim. Undoubtedly, Jim's relationship issues were the catalyst for this but Pam has a lot more on her plate. Loneliness, frustration and general feeling of helplessness all help to cue the waterworks.
The primary cause for Pam's breakdown is loneliness. She's pretty much been on her own since June. This is a new experience for her and it's a little daunting. Anyone who's suddenly found themselves on their own after a long term relationship knows how Pam feels. She's a little lost (just like Jim).
She's further overwhelmed by the fact that Jim is right in front of her. She could have prevented this whole situation by changing one decision she made back in May. The whole "could've, would've, should've" aspect of the Jim Factor is particularly painful. Pam's feeling a defeat has also followed her to this moment (see Talking Head). At this point, she is feeling completely helpless as her life feels like a mess. The rapid changes of leaving Roy, losing Jim, loving Jim, and seeing Jim with someone else have all left her utterly at a loss. Life just isn't as simple as it used to be. Just a year ago, all the answers were on her left hand with an attached wedding date.
As for the catalyst of Jim and Karen's argument, Pam is feeling the pain of the conversation and the results of her advice to Jim. She isn't as strong as she thought in regards to Jim and Karen. She thought she could handle it , but she clearly can't. That's a rather large dose of more helplessness. She can't do anything about the fact that he's with somebody else. Add to that, the conundrum that she likes Karen at the same time she's jealous of her and hurt that she's with Jim. Furthermore, she's been relegated to the status of just a "friend," when she loves him. The status of the friendship is also troubling as it lacks the closeness (even though that's improving) that was there before, which in itself is frustrating. Who can blame Pam for breaking down? All of these pent up emotions needed an outlet.
To make things worse, Dwight is the one "comforting" her. She'd much rather have looked up to see Jim standing there. Dwight's attempt at chivalry is only making her feel worse. She wants him to go away. Being alone at this point is actually welcome thought. She breaks down into another fit of crying when Dwight puts his arm around her. Honestly, things can't get any worse.
With Roy:
After her cry, Pam looks a little more relaxed, yet still a little melancholy while sitting next to Roy. Roy begins to reminisce about how she wanted to go to Hawaii and he wanted to Mexico for the honeymoon. Pam responds with a peculiar and knowing "yeah." She, of course, remembers the disagreement, but it also brings her back to a time when things were not so complicated, (see reasons for Pam crying). Surprisingly, he finishes off the story with the humorous remark, "I was definitely right." Pam desperately needed to laugh and Roy provided the opportunity, by oddly citing Michael's antic of the luau. Pam looked surprised as she laughed, as this is a very different side of Roy. One she probably hasn't seen in a while. It appears the roles of Jim and Roy have somewhat reversed, at least in this instance. Jim is now Pam's thorn and Roy is making her laugh and feel better. Hmmmmm . . . if this becomes a trend, Roy could be troublesome.
- - -
JAM Optimist:
1) Pam is feeling Jim's pain (this is essential to understanding his perspective)
2) Pam is just in a valley, nobody can get through a situation like this without cracking
3) Pam put Jim's happiness above her own
4) A closer line of communication has been reestablished.
JAM Pessimist:
1) Pam is losing faith that she has a chance with Jim
2) Old Pam hair, make-up, and wardrobe are back
3) Pam hasn't figured out how to a friend with "oomph"
4) Pam doesn't know what to do with the ball in her court
Questions to Ponder:
1) Is Roy starting to become a problem? Is it possible Pam will go back to him?
2) Did Pam make the right move with her advice to Jim?
3) What did FNB learn about herself?
4) Is it significant that Karen called Jim "Halpert"? Do you think this bothered Pam?
5) Just as Jim is stuck in limbo, so is Pam. How can she break free from her state of limbo? How does she become a "friend with oomph"?
Chapter End Notes:
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
