After a long wait, Jim and Pam are finally reunited in the Scranton office. As expected, Pam was ecstatic for Jim's return. Unfortunately, the day did not go as Pam had envisioned. In Pam's mind, Jim did not hold up his end of the bargain. Jim was supposed to behave around her the way he always did. When he didn't, Pam's heightened sense of joy spirals into a crestfallen state of mind wrought with confusion, frustration, jealousy, and even a sense of loss.
Although this is a dismal picture, this is a blessing in disguise. Pam needs to go through these emotions. The JAM optimist has argued this throughout the original Dichotomy and this thread. Pam has to experience and understand some of Jim's emotions before she's ready to be in a relationship with him. She has to understand all of his pain before she can begin to address it. It's been argued relentlessly that JAM will not happen until Jim and Pam talk about Casino Night. Pam can't possibly do this until she understands Jim's motives and emotions from that evening. She needs this insight in order to own up to how much she hurt him. She's already carrying around the guilt, but she has to consciously be aware of why she feels guilty.
Her day during The Merger gave her just a teeny tiny taste of Jim's emotional state for the duration of his crush and subsequent actions on Casino Night. She doesn't know it yet, but all of her frustration and jealousy mirrors Jim's emotional state from less than a year ago. The tables have turned! The optimist is actually quite thrilled with the events of The Merger, even though the parking lot scene was tough to watch. Patience is a virtue with JAM. We honestly can't expect Jim and Pam to fall into each other's arms on the first day! There's a lot of pain to work through and a friendship to rebuild first.
Unpacking Food:
It's obvious in just looking at Pam that she's excited for Jim's impending return. She has made an obvious effort at her appearance. She's wearing a different type of sweater than usual and her hair is different. She softened the curls of her hair for smoother more feminine look. She's trying to look pretty for him, (Jenna Fischer confirms this on her live blog. She says Pam "did that for Jim.") Pam is clearly going out of her way to get Jim's attention.
While she's unpacking the fool in the conference room she talks about Jim's return in an impromptu talking head. However, she never mentions him by name. She instead talks about "having an old friend back." She calls him a friend twice. The fact that she does this clues us into to some hidden uneasiness. It's easy to see she's excited and has high hopes. However, she is being very careful about how much she lets the camera see.
This can be attributed to Pam's high sense of privacy, but there is more to it. Pam isn't sure where she stands with Jim. She hasn't spoken to him since the Initiation conversation (most likely) and that ended on an awkward note leading to some confusion about the status of their relationship. Furthermore, he didn't answer her text in Diwali. She doesn't know how Jim feels about her. She's not even sure there is a friendship in place. She doesn't want to embarrass herself by revealing too many of her emotions. So, she plays it down and buries her feelings, again as a defense mechanism. She's not sure if it's okay to show or even allow herself to have feelings for Jim. She won't reveal them unless she knows he feels the same way.
Hugging Jim:
Just as Jim is walking in the door, Pam quickly primps herself by adjusting her hair. She actually gives the camera a quick glance with a face of, This is what I've been waiting for. This is one of the rare instances that she lets the camera see how she feels about Jim. It's a slip. She is so excited she forgot to hide it.
As Jim approaches her desk she smiles at him, but she also has a look of anticipation on her face. She's waiting for him to make the first move. In the midst of him saying "Hi I'm Jim. I'm new here. " Fancy New Beesly (old Pam would never do this) begins to run to him and throws her arms around him. She was careful to resist the temptation to hang onto to him a little longer. She knew she was already pushing it by hugging him in the first place. She kept the hug short and sweet. It was just short of being awkward and she was careful to avoid making it uncomfortable. She just wanted to make sure he knew she was happy to see him.
She needed him to address her in a friendly and familiar way. He used humor to break the ice and it put her immediately at ease. She knows he's using humor to mask the awkwardness of the situation. For her, this is a return to the way it used to be. As previously discussed, humor has always been a source of connection between Jim and Pam. Jim's opening joke was interpreted by Pam with this pretense.
She shoots right back with "I know. I don't care." This is meant to be a joke for Jim, but there are underlying connotations. Pam is also trying to keep the mood light (just like they both did in the Initiation conversation, it's the same defense mechanism), but she also sending Jim a non-verbal message. It's her way of saying, I know what you just did, thank you, but you didn't have to. I'm glad you're here.
Pam never takes her eyes off of him. She's almost in awe of his presence. She so happy he's back in her life. When she tells him "It's really good to see you," she is again speaking in code. She's telling him she missed him and she's glad he's back. She's looks eager for him so say something more. It's almost like she wants him to send her a similar message. She's trying to read him for any indicator of how he feels about her. Pam can tell he's "different" but she can't put her finger on it yet.
She is most likely attributing it to first meeting jitters, but deep down she knows its something more. Her inability to read him actually makes Pam uneasy. It's possible to see just a flicker of that uneasiness a split second before the scene ends. She already has an indicator that things are not back to normal, but she is choosing to ignore it for the time being.
Jim's Desk:
This scene a just a few seconds long, but it speaks volumes about Pam's expectations. As she expected her friendship with Jim to be as it was before, she is expecting him to sit in his old desk, (and so is Jim, apparently). She is clearly disappointed that Jim is sitting with his back to her. She can't really communicate with him if she can't see his face. This is a huge impediment to reconnection and she knows it.
All through season 1 and 2 they sent non-verbal messages to one another due to the ability to look at each other at any given moment. Plus, Pam is probably upset that she can't really "look" at him. She wants to see his face after being separated from him for so long. Look closely and it's possible to see she shoots a somewhat nasty look at Ryan. She's not happy that Ryan refused to give up "Jim's" desk. Especially, since Ryan expressed his concerns over feeling weird about taking the desk.
Conference Room #1 (Lazy Scranton):
We don't know how Pam ended up next to Jim at the table, but in all likelihood she made sure she was next to him. That's just something Fancy New Beesly would do! As the camera pans in we see her fiddling with her hair. She's either primping again or she's just not used to her hair in that style, (girls you know what I'm talking about). It's probably a little bit of both. Pam still hasn't gotten the attention she wants from Jim. The conference room has always been a place where they swap jokes and glances, so she has high hopes that this meeting will have similar results.
She is encouraged when Jim utters "this should be promising," Pam assumes he's talking to her even though he never really looks at her. She jumps at the chance and responds, "You won't be disappointed" as a way to start some playful banter and joking around. Her plan is deflated when Jim is distracted by Karen giving him a piece of gum. Pam was not expecting this at all and is completely thrown off. She looks behind her and checks Karen out head to toe. It's here she realizes Karen might be competition and is a little jealous. Pam may even be suspicious at this point that something might be going on, but she is not ready to let herself believe it yet. She may even start to wonder if this is the reason Jim seemed "different" at their first meeting, (hug scene).
She returns her attention to Jim and sets her head on her hands, but she also leans in closer to Jim. She's is trying to get his attention and she's protecting what she deems as her territory. On her face is yet another expression of disappointment. She doesn't like it that he was so distracted from her. It was never like that before. Adding to her disappointment, Jim doesn't return his attention to her. She keeps looking at him hoping he'll turn and talk to her throughout "Lazy Scranton," but he never does.
Break Room:
Despite the fact that a couple of disappointments have already been racked up for the day, Pam is undaunted. In the break room she finds herself alone with Jim. She figures this is her chance to reconnect. She starts by teasing Jim about his drink choice. She asks him what happen to his usual grape soda. This is her way of reminding him how well she knows him. In teasing him, she is also using humor to break the ice. She knows things have been awkward all day and she's trying to break through the wall that divides them. It's been much more difficult to communicate than she thought.
Fancy New Beesly jumps right in (I love this new Pam!), and ask Jim to go out for coffee after work to catch up. She makes a mistake, though as she gives him an out by mentioning he might still be unpacking. However, we can forgive her, it's been a while since she's been on the singles scene. Nonetheless, it was a daring move on Pam's part. Pam is clearly crushed that he turns her down, but she brushes it off casually. She doesn't want him to see how disappointed she is that he said no. In the back of her mind she thought he might turn her down, but her optimism believed he's say yes. She really didn't expect a "no." There is, however, another reason why she asked him out. This scene happens in succession to the conference room scene. Pam is testing the waters of the Karen Situation. She already has a bit of suspicion surrounding Karen. Part of her motive of asking Jim out was to again try and "read" him. Jim's "no" to her request gave her more reason to be worried about Karen. Furthermore, she is still trying to get an idea of where she stands with Jim. From Pam's perspective, the outlook is starting to look grim.
When Michael first walks in, Pam is actually amused by Michael's stammering, but she doesn't understand what Jim is trying to tell Michael. She looked confused and curious as to why Jim is telling Michael, "don't." She looks at Jim hoping to get an answer, (even if its just an expression -she's still trying to read him) to no avail. She wants to come right out and ask, but she doesn't have the guts at this point (remember, she just suffered a blow).
As Michael leaves, Pam still looks amused. She clearly is trying to goad Jim into a humorous exchange of Michael's interruption and behavior with a non-verbal cue, but Jim doesn't bite. Pam's disappointment is only furthered when Jim doesn't stay back and talk to her a little longer. As he leaves the break room, Pam's discontent and hurt are all over her face. She can't believe how badly it all went. Jim just isn't behaving how she wanted and expected. She doesn't understand why the connection they've always had isn't rekindling. Her old friend is not here and she doesn't know what to do.
Conference Room #2 (Stamford on the table):
Not much going on here, but again Pam is sitting next to Jim. There's no way to know how she ended up next to him, but it's probably safe to speculate once again that she made sure she was in that position. Especially since her suspicions surrounding Karen are at a heightened level. Plus, she's still trying to get Jim's attention. Again, he doesn't really acknowledge her. Deep down, Pam is disappointed again.
Parking Lot - Flat Tires:
After Michael's announcement that everyone's tires are flat, Pam prepares to head outside with the rest of the office. She flashes a smile at Jim. Again, trying to send one of their patented non-verbal messages to him. He doesn't notice her and walks right by her with Karen by his side. Pam fully expected Jim to walk out with her, as he had always done in the past. She is again crushed.
However, nothing could prepare her for what she was about to see as the staff heads back into the building. Initially, out of the corner of her eye, she spots Karen and Jim. She then notices, Karen is rubbing Jim's back. This is the biggest blow Pam has suffered all day. Basically, all of her suspicions of Karen have been confirmed. Nonetheless, she is still shocked and hurt by what she is seeing.
There are a million emotions running through her right now, along with a fast beating heart and a stomach in knots. Among these emotions are jealousy, confusion, and a tinge of rejection. At one point she looks straight at the camera. Her expression says it all; she is crestfallen. All her hopes for the day are gone. It almost looks like she's saying Oh, my God, to herself over and over. She doesn't like it that the camera is on her at this particular moment. She reverts to a self conscious state to preserve what's left of her privacy and turns away. She doesn't like that the camera has caught her in such a vulnerable emotional state. She wasn't able to hold in her feelings for Jim.
After turning away from the camera, her expression does not change. It's here that she realizes things just aren't going to be the same. She even feels a bit like a fool for believing things would return to normal. Reality has set in. She most likely believes his feelings have changed and that he's moved on. She hasn't been able to "read" him all day, so she has no idea that he still loves her.
All she has to go on is Jim's distant behavior all day and the fact that another woman just rubbed his back. Pam is most likely wondering if she even has a chance with Jim anymore. She's probably also kicking herself for ever letting him go in the first place. Hopefully, Fancy New Beesly will take this on as a challenge and will not return to old Pam behavior. Of course, these are all things Pam needed to realize last season, but I guess better late than never!
Parking Lot at Night:
The conversation that ensues between Pam and Jim is concert of misread cues. The time apart has created a gap in their abilities to read each other's non-verbal and verbal cues. They can't read each other anymore, which leads to some major communication lapses. Each is waiting for the other to say how they feel and it never happens.
Pam emerges from the building and is stopped by Jim.
She looks like she's in a rush to go home, most likely to escape the disappointment of the day's events. She probably stayed a little later to pull herself together. Her eyes look a little "glassy." She may not have been crying, but she was definitely stuck in the area between crying and keeping it together (ladies, you know what I'm talking about). At this point she's had no choice but to accept the fact that things between herself and Jim would not be the same and that there is someone else in the picture. This is a tough pill to swallow, but Pam manages for the time being. She's back to burying her feelings as a survival and defense mechanism against her perceived vision of chaos in regards to Jim. Her emotions will overwhelm her if she doesn't at least partially bury them. She has to bury them if she has any chance of being "normal" around Jim as well as not letting him see how she feels. As mentioned before, she won't let him see these emotions until she feels he will return them. This is the main motivation for Pam's behavior in the parking lot.
Jim starts off by giving her a friendly "hey." Pam returns with a friendly "hey," but hers is forced. She is still reeling from Karen touching him. She also doesn't want to give any indicators of how crushed she is from the days events. The conversation starts off with the now familiar awkward small talk. Jim tells her he thought she left already. Pam replies that she had to stay back to take care of some "stuff." Part of me thinks she's telling a little fib. She was most likely waiting for the coast to be clear. She was probably waiting for Jim to leave in order to avoid a possible meeting in the lot.
Jim takes the initiative and attempts to open the door to talk about the awkwardness that ensued between them throughout the day by saying he felt bad about how weird things were. Pam completely misses the open door and doesn't know how to respond to this. She hasn't been able to figure where she stands with him all day. After seeing Karen and Jim together earlier she has serious misgivings about her status with him. She is frustrated, so she throws the ball right back in his court by asking "What do you mean?" This is her method of opening the same door. She feels he is responsible for much of the awkwardness. He was the one being distant. He was the one hanging out with someone else. She feels like she made all the effort and he made none. She wants him to be the one to explain why he made it weird. She wants him to tell her how he feels so she can tell him how she feels.
Like Pam, Jim doesn't pick up on Pam's open door. Instead, he tries to open the door in a different way by telling her he is "sort of seeing someone." Again, Pam totally misses the opportunity. Instead, she takes this as yet another blow and even a rejection. She goes into full-blown defense mode. At this point, she is clouded by frustration, jealousy, and confusion. She can't see the opportunity Jim just gave her to tell him how she feels. Instead, Pam decides to bury all of her emotions and play it cool. She's able to do this, because she's already had an indicator earlier in the day that he might have been seeing someone. She already knows, so it's not a surprise. With her "that's totally cool," she is masking all the pain and frustration she's been feeling all day. She's also hiding her jealousy towards Karen. She doesn't want Jim to see how much she is hurting. It's seems clear to her he's not going to return her feelings for him.
Her next statement seals the deal. She tells him "you can do whatever you want." This is another statement to mask her feelings. She is mad that Jim didn't tell her earlier. She is lashing out a little bit here, but she is also hiding her broken heart. If she pretends it doesn't bother her, he won't see her pain or her jealousy. Jim is more than a little thrown off by her statement and simply responds with an "okay," (more on him later).
Pam's next statement is initially puzzling, but there are many reasons why she says "We're friends. We'll always be friends." Pam is not doing this to be cold or mean. One level of meaning can be found by watching Jim's talking head earlier in the episode. When asked where he stands with Pam, he ultimately answers that they are friends and that they've always been friends. He's playing it safe. Pam's statement is a direct parallel to Jim's talking head, (this is pure genius on the writers' part). She doesn't know where she stands with him and this is a safe response to the situation at hand. She wants to keep the door open for a relationship, without revealing how she feels. She is sending him the message that she is ready whenever he is to rekindle the relationship.
On another level, Pam's "friends" statement can also be attributed to Pam's growing level of frustration. She's irritated to find herself with the status of "just a friend," (and even that is a maybe). She no doubt wants to rekindle the friendship, but she also wants more than that. At this point, that doesn't seem like a real possibility. She is saying "We're friends. We'll always be friends," as much to herself as she is to Jim. It just takes on an entirely different connotation when directed at herself. It's said out of frustration and dejection.
On a final level, she is just at a loss of what to say to him. She's given into the fact that things between them have changed. She is going to play along with these changes until she figures out what to do next. Again, reiterating a friendship is a safe route. It hides her hurt. Plus, she knows the only place she can really fit is as his friend with Karen in the picture. She hasn't completely sorted her feelings out yet. Jim has in her opinion pinned her with his revelation that he's seeing someone. She's almost telling him, You win. She is in some respects realizing she missed the boat. This is mostly on a subconscious level, but she'll become more aware of it the more she replays this conversation in her head. Jim of course doesn't pick up on any of this. He missed it completely, (and I'll have more on that on the Jim Paradox S3 thread later!).
She ends the conversation by walking away and telling him "Glad to have you back," in an extremely casual way. She is trying to get out of the conversation and she's trying to play it cool. It's a defense mode. She's protecting herself from letting Jim see any of her vulnerability. She was almost at a breaking point at the beginning of the conversation, and now it's worse. She needs to exit quickly. This a little of Old Pam sneaking through, but honestly we can't blame her. Fancy New Beesly took a beating. She actually withstood all the disappointment with stunning poise. Old Pam never would have pulled this off.
Pam managed to come out of this with some dignity intact. She could have easily lost it and lashed out at him or cried uncontrollably, but she didn't. She handled in a way that left her with some confidence and self-respect. This will pay off big in the grand scheme of things. Pam will come out of this evening broken hearted, but her self-respect will stay in place. Yes, her confidence took a hit, but she isn't down for the count.
- - -
JAM Optimist:
See introduction for optimist arguments.
JAM Pessimist:
1. Pam is crushed by Jim's distant behavior.
2. One word: Karen - She could be a problem. Pam might be intimidated by her.
3. Pam is still too timid to tell Jim how she feels. If she stays this shy JAM will never happen.
Questions to Ponder:
1. Is Pam more frustrated with Jim or herself?
2. What could Pam have done differently to get Jim's attention? Was she trying too hard? How can she overcome his distant behavior?
3. Is Pam getting what she deserves?
4. Why do you think Pam is so afraid to tell Jim how she feels? She's not engaged anymore, so why is she holding it all back?
5. Is Pam ready to be with Jim?
6. How much of a problem is Karen from Pam's perspective?
Chapter End Notes:
This post was written ten years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
