Jim found himself in a very tight corner this week as Karen finally has a clue about his past with Pam. Although, there is only one scene, it Jim's paradox is literally screaming. While he's trying to smooth things over with Karen, he's also intrigued by the possibility that Pam said something about their past. He's still unsure of his relationship with Karen, but his resolve to move on is still alive and well. I can't shake the feeling that everything he said to Karen was more to himself than it was to her.
This week's events have thrown another speed bump down for Jim and Karen, and again their communication was not open and free flowing. Karen held back by not pushing him for further information and Jim kept the whole truth to himself. Another blow like this could mean trouble for Jim and Karen.
Coffee Shop:
Little did Jim know he was walking into a confrontation with his past as he sat down for coffee with Karen. Jim was hoping to keep this part of his past to himself. I doubt he ever had any intention of bringing it up unless he absolutely had no choice. Karen wasted no time and was quite blunt in asking "Did you ever have a thing for Pam?" Jim is momentarily caught off guard, but hides it well. He's essentially wondering why Karen is asking about this. How did she find out? He didn't expect this to be the topic of conversation. Internally, he's panicking with the equivalent of "Oh, crap" screaming through his head.
Jim uses the time honored tactic of repeating Karen's question as he scrambles for a response. He smiles takes a playful tone while repeating it as a way to play off the whole idea as being completely ridiculous. He's hoping to throw her off the scent. He answers with a "no," as he breaks eye contact. He is of course lying, but this fib is in the name of self preservation on two fronts. First, he's trying to protect himself from a potentially nasty situation with Karen. Jim is trying to protect his relationship with Karen, by trying avoid an argument and a situation that might hurt Karen. Secondly, he's trying to avoid his past with Pam. He's been trying to escape his feelings for Pam since CN.
The last thing he wants to do is talk about those feelings in any tense. Jim was blindsided by Karen's question so he's naturally going to jump into self defense mode. Besides, Jim behaved quite normally by denying he had (ahem, has) feelings for someone else. Admitting this has the potential of hurting Karen and himself so of course he tries to wiggle out of the 3rd degree. From a more realistic standpoint, who would admit to their new girlfriend that they had feelings for a now mutual friend? This can easily be classified as relationship suicide.
Jim's own curiosity then takes over the situation. As soon as he spits out "no," he asks "Why? Did she say something?" His curiosity exists on several levels. First of all, he's not sure how Karen found out. Jim wants to know if she figured it out on her own or if someone told her. The answer to his question can help him ascertain how Karen got her information. Furthermore, Jim's question is tainted with worry. He's not sure of just how much Karen knows. This is a roundabout way of digging for details. Before he can safely proceed any further, he needs to know what she knows or at least get a general idea. It's probably not the best route as it breeds more suspicion in Karen, but nonetheless it flew out of his mouth.
On another more hidden level, Jim sounds a little hopeful by the possibility that Pam mentioned anything about their past. His hope lies in the fact that he might get a little more of a clue of where he stands with Pam. He thought he caught something in last week's conversation, but he never got confirmation. It's here that the paradox is at it's peak. His relationship with Karen is in trouble, yet his thoughts turn to Pam. In addition, he still looking for the answer to his question of who told Karen. He's fishing to see if Pam was the one who spilled the beans. Her possible involvement in Karen's awareness could interpreted by Jim as Pam having feelings for him. It's obvious that he wants to know if it was her!
Unfortunately, Karen completely dodges Jim's question and instead acts on the suspicion it generates. He didn't fool her at all with his avoidance tactic. She effectively corners him with "I moved here from Connecticut . . ." She implied that she moved for him but stopped short of saying it. Jim immediately shoulders an enormous sense of obligation. This is a woman who rearranged her life for him. His back is pushed to the wall. He knows he's been caught and it's time to confess. He starts by nervously saying "Okay, here's the . . . .," and he shrugs as he stumbles for a place to start. He still has no idea how much Karen knows, so he has to choose his next words carefully. He has to tell her the truth, but he also has to find a way to keep the whole truth hidden away. Again, this isn't about being deceitful, this is about avoidance in hurting Karen and himself.
Jim stumbles a little more as he starts with " I . . .had . . a crush on her before I left." They key word here is "crush." This was a split second word decision on Jim's part as he flinched a little just before he said it. The word crush is masking what really happened, as a way to spare Karen's feelings without completely lying to her. It's also a mask for him. He still hasn't fully admitted to himself that he still loves Pam. The furthest he's gotten is admitting he still has feelings for her. If he can't admit it to himself, he can't possibly admit it to Karen. He's hoping Karen will buy it. It's the truth, just not the whole truth. This is a safe route, given his lack of knowing what Karen knows. He tries to add to it's credibility by beginning eye contact on that word. He had been avoiding it up to that point.
Jim continues by telling the rest of the story, "And I told her about it and she didn't feel the same way. So it didn't amount to anything. And I left." Jim tells the story in a very flippant and casual manner. He's again trying to make it seem like it's no big deal. He even shrugs when he tells her "And I left." This reminded me of how Jim revealed his crush to Pam in The Secret. He used a similar tone with her in the break room. Just as in that scenario, his words are chosen carefully. He's telling the truth, but he's leaving out the nitty gritty details. He's really only telling Karen all she needs to know. The most important part of the whole thing is that it never amounted to anything. Which is totally true, for now. This is what Karen needs to hear. Jim knows that, so why hurt her with by admitting anything other than what he already has? Karen was clearly upset by what he did tell her. He knew telling her more would only make it worse. He was smart to start out with little detail. He could always add more if Karen pressed him.
What struck me most was that Jim was talking to Karen as much as he was talking to himself. He was forced to remind himself of why he's moving on with Karen. His account of what happened reminded him, Pam said no and it never amounted to anything. He's convincing himself again that he has to get past that. The scene ends with Jim telling Karen "I'm really glad you're here. Okay." He's smoothing things over and attempting to put Karen at ease. He's not only reassuring her that he wants her in his life, he's also trying to convince himself. There's a tinge of doubt mixed in Jim's statement. He's still not sure about the direction of his relationship with Karen. He's still stuck in the conundrum of being in a rebound relationship, while attempting to move past that and build a real relationship. That being said, Jim still believes his relationship with Karen is the best thing for him at this point.
In Comparison to Last Week:
It was interesting to see Jim involved in two pivotal conversations in sequential episodes. Last week Jim talked to Pam about Karen in the break room while fiddling with his coffee cup. After the initial awkwardness faded, Jim talked to Pam openly and rather relaxed despite the difficulty of the topic at hand. This week, he once again finds himself with a cup of coffee talking about a difficult topic. Only this time he's talking about Pam with Karen. He is much more guarded with Karen than he was with Pam. He's nervous and closed off. Karen simply doesn't know him well enough to be able to pick up on his body language. Pam would've had him pegged immediately!
Despite the conversations taking place Pam and Jim are not talking to each other about each other. Last week they were face to face and neither was brave enough to bring up the elephant in the room. This week, Jim was forced to talk about CN, but not to Pam, the one he really needs to discuss it with. In both conversations, Karen is the impediment to the truth. Last week, Pam held back much of what she was thinking because of Jim's relationship with Karen. This week, Jim held back because of his relationship with Karen. Simply put, Jim has to realize that Karen is not his way out of the truth or the past.
On the up side, Jim and Pam are actually getting closer to having the BIG conversation. Jim got a major dose of practice by having to talk about it with Karen. He's also had some practice with Michael. It makes me wonder when Pam will get her practice. That has to be coming soon!
Questions to Ponder:
1) Assess Jim's answer to Karen's question. Did he do the right thing? Is Jim's answer going to come back and haunt him?
2) Will Jim ever be able to open up to Karen (or anyone else) or is this something he can only do with Pam?
3) Is Jim starting to doubt his ability to get over Pam?
4) Was Karen being manipulative? Did her approach to the situation have anything to do with Jim holding back details about his past with Pam?
5) Will Jim and Pam be able to discuss CN with Karen in the picture or is she truly an impediment?
6) Why is there generally an absence of PDA between Jim and Karen? (I've been wondering this for a while!)
Chapter End Notes:
Commonly Used Acronyms:
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
