To the delight of JAM fans everywhere Jim finally snapped out of the fog of his denial. The only question now is if whether or not Jim will go running back into the fog or if he'll stick around to face the crystal clear truth. Jim finally admitted to himself that which we have known all along; he still has feelings for Pam. However, his fear paradox is still alive and kicking. He didn't admit he loved her. In effect, he once again told Karen the truth, but not the whole truth. It's possible he still hasn't told himself the whole truth either. I haven't heard the "L" word yet! He had a tough time admitting this to himself in Season 2, so it stands to reason he's fighting it again.
Despite Jim's half truth, the fact of the matter is Jim finally admitted he has feelings for Pam. It wasn't subconscious or in a roundabout way. It was direct and undeniable. Jim has a choice to bury it again or face it head on. Something tells me fear will once again get in the way, but he's already chipped away at some of the fear by confessing. He'll need another catalyst to chip more away from that fear and his wall of self-preservation.
Jim's realizations don't stop with Pam. He now has a full awareness of his relationship with Karen. If he harbored any doubt about her rebound status, those doubts are now completely gone. He is completely aware that his plan of moving on has not been successful. Jim knows he made a mistake by getting involved with Karen, as he hurt someone he cares about.
The Return refers not only to Oscar and Dwight's return to the office, but also Jim return to himself. Stamford changed Jim, mostly by his own doing. In Stamford, his humor and personality didn't fit in so he had to tone it down. Once back in Scranton, his old personality traits slowly started to come to the surface. He was more liberated and playful throughout the day. Scranton Jim has come back home. Most importantly, he allowed himself to fall back into his old friendship with Pam. However, this wasn't without hesitation. Again, third parties had a hand in sending Jim to Pam, but nonetheless he ended up at her desk. This return to Pam dredged up all the feelings Jim has been burying since he let go of Pam on CN, (technically seen in GWH).
In effect, Jim is "returning" to the truth about his feelings. Jim knows the consequences these feelings brought him in CN, so he is going to be very leery about exploring them or even allowing himself to deal with them, unless he gets a little help from Pam. She needs to figure out the ball is in her court before it's too late. Jim can't do it on his own, again. His fear paradox simply won't let him.
At Karen's Desk:
Andy's annoyances chipped away at Jim's tolerance rather quickly with the cell phone ring tone, shameless sucking up, and the final straw of "fishing for Tuna." The fishing pretty much sends Jim over to the edge, so he heads over to his escape of Karen. (Apparently, she's an escape from anything difficult in Jim's life). Karen greets him warmly enough, but looks a little annoyed that he's bothering her. Jim doesn't pick up on this as his irritation level has taken over his thoughts. Jim tells her that "Andy is in rare form today," with a serious but also playful tone. He's trying to tell her he's had enough and needs her to help him get Andy. For Jim, this is really important. This isn't just about pranks and humor, it's about Jim needing someone to be there for him. Andy is annoying the heck out of him today, and he needs somebody to understand that and his need to get back at him.
Karen doesn't respond the way Jim needs her to. She instead tells him not to encourage Andy. Jim takes that as Karen telling him it's he's at fault for Andy's behavior. He repeats "encourage him" with disdain. He's a bit insulted that she thinks he's encouraging Andy's obnoxious behavior. Jim immediately picks up on the fact that Karen is essentially accusing him of being immature. He finds himself in the position of having to explain to Karen that he's the victim in all of this. He's trying to get her to see that Andy is annoying him and he did nothing to bring it on. He's in effect telling Karen that Andy started it and he wants to finish it. This may, in fact, be a little childish but Jim has a good point! He tries to goad her with "We gotta do something," hoping to get her to lighten up and play with him.
Again this isn't just about Andy, it's about connecting. Jim is trying to connect with Karen by inviting her to prank with him. Humor and pranking is a familiar way for Jim to connect with women. He did it all the time with Pam and even with Katy. Humor also connected him to Karen in Stamford. Their relationship has been strained and he's looking for a way to feel close to her, (that was tough to say, but it's true. At this point, he's still trying to build a real relationship with Karen). Karen refuses to play along and instead explains that she can't because of her work load.
Jim gets incredibly frustrated that she won't join him in a prank. In the middle of her work load explanation, his hand and voice exhibit his frustration. His hand flails up and then falls to his leg while he gives a frustrated vocal inflection. He's thinking "C'mon, you've got to be kidding me." His frustration is rooted in Karen's refusal, but it's heightened from is annoyed state of mind. He's a little more desperate than usual to pull a prank. When she doesn't relent in her refusal, Jim is clearly let down.
Subconsciously, he knows Pam would never refuse him. He tries to goad her one more time by calling her a "party pooper," but to no avail. He's also letting her know he's disappointed and she needs to lighten up. It's here that Jim feels Karen doesn't "get" him. Jim's disappointment extends beyond Karen's refusal. He's not real thrilled with her attitude towards him. Instead of being on his side, she essentially rejected something that's a big part of him. Karen didn't intend for her refusal to be viewed as a personal rejection, but Jim that's how Jim perceived part of it. Humor and pranking gets him through the day and are a huge part of his personality. She rained on his parade and was a downer. Jim doesn't respond this kind of attitude well in general.
He walks away from Karen moping and dragging his feet. He even does a disillusioned body sway as he stands up from sitting on her desk. He feels disconnected from her. This disconnection started since he returned to Scranton. In A Benihana Christmas and Back From Vacation it became a little more obvious to him. At Karen's desk, their disconnection is amplified by Karen not "getting" him.
With Ryan:
After Andy "catches" Jim, the look on his face is one of pure annoyance and agitation, (which is by far one of Jim's funniest faces!). Jim hasn't had an annoyed face like this since season 2 courtesy of Dwight. Jim is now even more desperate to pull a prank on Andy to preserve his own sanity, however he still doesn't head to Pam. Jim instead approaches Ryan about pulling a prank. Jim actually looks pretty confident that Ryan will join him. This is puzzling as Ryan and Jim have never colluded on a prank.
It may be he's trying something new to keep himself from going to Pam. It's a strong possibility that Jim's first impulse was to go to Pam before he even went to Karen. He knows Pam is a sure thing on a prank, but that spells trouble for his emotional well-being. He knows his self-preservation defenses will weaken if he spends too much time with her. It's already started to happen. His rebound speech in A Benihana Christmas was his first signal that he's in trouble when it comes to Pam. At the moment Ryan seemed as good a way as any to escape Pam.
Jim is again shot down, as Ryan is too busy and sees himself as being above Jim's petty pranks. Ryan pretty much gives Jim the same attitude as Karen. Ryan made the comment of asking him again "ten years ago," which again accuses Jim of being immature and that his humor isn't important. Jim is a little surprised that he's facing this accusation again. Ryan doesn't "get" him either. Jim did get his revenge by telling Ryan he liked him better as the temp. Nonetheless, Ryan and Karen both got under his skin. Jim is in dire need of someone to understand him.
At Pam's Desk:
Jim reaches his breaking point when Andy breaks out into his special rendition of a Cranberries song. Exasperated, he looks in Karen's direction in one last effort to get her on his side. Jim's frustration is at it's peak as he throws is arms up at Karen's lack of regard for his situation. She doesn't respond to him at all as she doesn't even look up. At this point, Jim is at his wits end. Andy's constant irritating behavior coupled with his need for someone to understand his side of things, puts Jim into a state of desperation.
He makes a split second decision to head over to Pam's desk. It even caught the camera by surprise. The camera was focused and Karen and then panned back to Jim's desk probably hoping to see his reaction. Only his desk was empty and the camera quickly caught up with Jim on his way to Pam's desk. His walk over is not slow or hesitant. Jim is clearly on a desperate mission to get Andy and Pam is a given as far as sidekicks go. Pam may have technically been a last resort, but she was the first one on his mind all along.
Once Jim approaches Pam's desk he immediately goes into one of his infamous leans. This lean is a lot different from his first lean in A Benihana Christmas (where he was holding back a little). It's a season 2 lean! Despite the tension between them, Jim feels more comfortable and accepted with Pam than with anyone else. He's leaning in towards her, not just resting on her desk. The familiarity of this lean also lies in the fact that Jim is asking Pam to join him in a prank, which has strong connections to the past. Previously, this was one of the ways he connected with Pam. His lean signifies the connection as well as his subconscious intrinsic need to be near her. Jim especially needs this connection after his experiences with both Karen and Ryan. However, it is important to note that his arms are folded. Pam hasn't accepted him or joined in on the prank yet. He's holding back a little bit here, (he did the same thing in season 2).
As he asks "Would you like to play a prank on Andy," Jim is playful, but also desperate in his tone of voice. His voice cracks a little on "would" mainly due to his peaked annoyance, but also because he's a little nervous. He knows this is the first time he's asked Pam to join him in a prank. This is a big step and he knows it, but at this point he doesn't care about the possible consequences. All of his reasons for avoiding Pam have become void, due to his heightened sense of agitation. He even asks the question rhetorically as if he already knew how Pam would answer. Just as he knew she would, Pam answers in the affirmative. He answers back with "Okay, good," but he said with more of a "yeah, yeah, I knew that. Let's get the show on the road" type of tone. The old team is back together.
Jim walks away from Pam's desk and heads back to his with a plan clearly in mind. I'm inclined to think knew what prank he wanted to play all day, he was just looking for an accomplice. He gets his hands on Andy's phone and brings it back to Pam's desk. Jim leans yet again! But, this lean is completely different. His arms are open and his hands are hanging over the edge of Pam's desk. He hasn't leaned in this close to her since Season 2. He is much more open and relaxed as he leans towards her. He's connecting with Pam and feels more at ease with her. He didn't need to explain why he wanted to prank Andy like he had to with Karen. Pam's response was the polar opposite of Karen's. He didn't feel like he was being judged or belittled for wanting to prank Andy.
Pam accepted and indulged Jim's need for humor and pranking, because she understands him completely. She makes it easy for Jim to be himself. Her acceptance made him feel comfortable enough to lean with his arms open towards her and his hands reaching over the edges of her desk. It's probably more on a symbolic level, rather than Jim's subconscious, but I like to think he's reaching for her.
Teamwork:
A slight grin graces Jim's face in anticipation of setting up Andy's prank. He leans back on his chair and turns his head slightly towards Pam. He's asking her "are you ready?" with his body language. He lets out a puff of air that is apparently the signal to "go," as both Jim and Pam get up and start walking simultaneously. Jim and Pam proceed to the break room with perfectly orchestrated motions. The phone handoff is seamless as Jim reaches back towards Pam (again that is very symbolic - he's reaching for her). Jim tosses the phone into the ceiling feeling perfectly safe with Pam as his lookout. It's JAM synergy at it's finest.
As I mentioned in the Pam Dichotomy S3 update, they had to have communicated via e-mail or IM to plan out the logistics beforehand. It's encouraging to see this possible new line of communication opening up.
Pam Calls Andy's Phone:
Jim is beyond satisfied as Andy becomes annoyed at being unable to locate his cell phone as it's ringing. Jim has successfully transferred his agitation back to the source. It's pure artistry every time he does this! Jim turns around and gives an amazing look towards Pam. He's not only thrilled with the success of the prank, but he's also enamored with Pam. His expression is reminiscent one that slipped out in a talking head in The Alliance, when he was impressed with Pam's contribution to his prank on Dwight. He couldn't hold back "She's so great." This scene has that same feeling. It's obvious he's thinking unwittingly along those same lines once again. He's still too caught up in the prank to realize he's falling back into Pam, but this is the first sign that Jim's wall is starting to come down a little more.
In subsequent prank scenes, Jim is much more relaxed than he was in the first half of the episode. This is not only because of the prank, but also because Pam was there for him when he needed it. I haven't seen Jim reached such a level of irritation since Diversity Day. Pam rescued him that day, too. Apparently, she still can.
Andy's Punched Hole:
Jim and Pam inspect the hole Andy punched into the wall. They are quite proud that their prank was responsible for sending Andy over the edge. As far as Jim is concerned, he is simply returning Andy's favor from earlier in the day. Pam makes Jim bust out laughing with " I think we broke his brain." Jim is completely at ease as he laughs and leans in towards Pam. His defenses are down at this point and he is going with the moment of being connected to Pam. Pam allowed him to laugh, be silly, and simply be himself. Karen, on the other hand, will play along with Jim's humor only so much. Karen never saw the humor in the cell phone prank. I'm convinced she figured out at least part of what was going on and that Jim was behind it, but she never cracked a smile. Pam will always play along and will sometimes take it step further. Jim loves that.
Jim then does an impression of Andy's "It's not freakin' funny." This parallels Drug Testing when Jim does an impression of Stanley that results in a game of jinx (still one of my favorite JAM eps). Jim does impressions to make Pam laugh. Pam established in her talking head that Jim does impressions all the time, by looking up at her from his desk as a different person. He's doing it now for the same reason as before; he knows she likes it. She made him laugh, so it's his turn to make her laugh, ( she did giggle, too!). Beyond the Andy impression, Jim and Pam have created a new inside joke that is just between them. No one else knows everything about the prank or why Andy punched a hole in the wall.
The best way to describe Jim in this scene as a whole, is that he melted. This, of course, doesn't hit him until after the fact. This exchange with Pam is the catalyst that eventually sends him to sit alone in the conference room. Throughout the day, Pam's acceptance and humor reminded him of all the reasons why he fell for her, but these few seconds solidified it. His wall was almost down in this scene and Pam got to him.
Conference Room:
We next find Jim sitting alone in the conference room with a noticeably less jovial expression on his face. He looks downright depressed and pensive. After he and Pam parted ways from Andy's hole the wall, the consequences of hanging out with her probably hit Jim. He knows he's in trouble with both himself and Karen. He's trying to figure out what to do next, as the master plan of moving on is clearly out of commission as a dismal failure. Jim knows he still has feelings for Pam and now he trying to figure out just how strong they are and what he's willing to admit to himself.
He's sorting through a lot of feelings at the moment Karen walked into the room. Jim greets her with a "hey," but it lacks the usual charm. He attempts to make it sound like nothing is wrong, but fails miserably. He's barely looking at her as she walks in and sits next to him. He's focusing more on the floor and the walls. Jim waits for her to say "hey" back, but she never does. Instead, she responds with a deep breath. He knows right then and there that she is upset. He swallows deep, turns further away from her, and hangs his head. He's nervous about what she's going to say. He's also bothered by the fact that he spent the day with Pam and that it probably upset Karen. He knows he's at fault for things being off between them. He's expecting the conversation to revolve around those activities and he's bracing himself for Karen's take on the situation. The atmosphere of this segment had the feeling of the aftermath of a fight, even though Karen and Jim never actually argued. This can only be traced to the fact that both sides were hurt by the other at different times. Jim was hurt by Karen's refusal to prank and Karen was hurt that Jim went to Pam.
A flashback to the conversation they had in Traveling Salesmen had to flicker in Karen's mind before she dropped the bomb of her question. Jim's eyes fly open when Karen asks "Do you still have feelings for her?" He was not expecting her to go there. In fact, he didn't expect Karen to have any awareness about his feelings for Pam. Jim has just barely become aware of it himself. He doesn't realize how obvious it is. Karen cut right to the chase, while he expected her to talk about the day's events.
Jim pauses a long time before answering. A number of things are running through his head. Jim is trying to make a decision on what to tell her and what to admit to himself. He has a choice of telling the whole truth or reverting to partial truth. Both choices has massive ramifications for himself and Karen. Jim's fear paradox is also kicking in. Karen is making him face something he's been avoiding for months. He's a little afraid of digging into emotions that have been buried for a long time. This is the first time he's allowed himself to actually feel them and it's still a little new and raw.
Jim's body language in this segment is telling of how he will eventually answer. He isn't looking down at the floor, (his usual posture when faced with a tough emotional situation). Instead, he's looking forward and even up for a moment. He's searching for an answer. The internal struggle between his head an his heart are readily apparent. His head is telling him to tell Karen what she wants to hear, while his heart is telling him to be honest with himself. Karen has essentially forced him to make a decision. Jim's head ever so slightly begins to nod. This is the moment where Jim is owning up to how he really feels. No more denial, no more hiding, and no more pretending. However, he's still a little apprehensive as his nods are very slight. Furthermore, he nods about 5 or 6 times. This revelation is a little overwhelming. Nodding makes it easier to face at first.
Jim knows Karen is waiting for an answer and he finally finds the gumption to say "yes," (excuse me while I squeal and contain my goose bumps). He says it so lightly. He was afraid to say it in that he knows it will hurt Karen, but also because it opens an old wound in him. It was so hard for him to say. It's the first time he's honestly admitted it to himself out loud, since CN. His "yes" also had the nuance of "whoa, there it is. This is the truth. . ." It was a big release for Jim. There is also a sense of confusion, " . . . and I don't know what to do about it." Despite his revelation, Jim is as lost as ever. However, it is a huge step he needed to take. It's bringing him that much closer to Pam. His wall is crumbling.
Jim's looks down to the floor after his admission. He can't bring himself to look at Karen. He knows he just hurt someone he cares about. He can't be blamed for not wanting to see her crushed face. All of his mistakes are flooding into his head. His mood is the equivalent of, "What have I done." He's now fully aware that he's not over Pam and Karen is an innocent party who got hurt because of it. The pinch of guilt is stinging him right now. His mistake of moving on with Karen has created a mess for him and for her. He has no idea how to clean up this mess. Jim is also feeling the brunt of his own pain. His broken heart has just been pulled into the light for the first time since CN. It's bubbled up briefly before, but now it's completely out in the open and he is forced to deal with it. There's no longer an option of shoving it back into the shadows. However, his fear paradox might create a nice mask in the name of self-preservation.
The real question with this scene is, what exactly did Jim admit? We all want to make the assumption that he admitted he loves Pam. However, I didn't see that happen. He only admitted he has feelings for her. Whether this was to soften the blow for Karen or to protect himself is debatable. The point is, Jim only told the partial truth, again. He held back on the "L" word, even though it was written all over his face. The up side here is Jim hit a whole new level of honesty. He wasn't even close to being this honest in Traveling Salesmen. He is making progress!
- - -
Questions to Ponder:
1) Why didn't Jim just pull the prank on his own?
2) Is it over with Karen? Will he let her go or make another attempt at a relationship with her?
3) Will Jim deal with his feelings or will he try to bury them again?
4) How will Jim behave around Pam? How sturdy is his wall?
5) Why didn't Jim go after Karen or try to explain anything when she got up and walked out of the conference room?
6) Should Jim give Pam the heads up that Karen knows a little about their past?
7) Is Jim ready to know how Pam feels?
Chapter End Notes:
Commonly Used Acronyms:
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
