The wall Jim rebuilt at Phyllis's Wedding has grown taller and wider further trapping Jim inside his own pain while portraying a facade of well-being. The "Bottom Line" portion of the analysis for Cocktails still rings true: "The symbolism of Michael's straight jacket is uncanny in regards to Jim's emotional state. Jim's wall is so thick he's trapped inside and no one can reach him. The chains that surrounded Michael also weigh down Jim. Jim is emotionally exhausted and wants to shut down. The only way he can survive without losing his mind is to live in the limbo that his relationship with Karen provides." All of these components are still in play, but they are operating at a higher level in that the wall has begun to block Jim from himself. He's now in the process of convincingly fooling himself rather than just everyone else that he's over Pam and Karen means more to him than just a rebound.
This heightened self preservation mode is the direct result of the still fermenting pain of CN and the events of Phyllis's Wedding. The pain from CN cut him deeply and was compounded by Pam's reunion with Roy. Jim's answer to dealing with this pain is to run away from it without facing it. In response to CN he ran away to Stamford hoping the geographic distance and new people would help him escape Pam and his broken heart. Jim is still running, only now he is running to Karen, who is a remnant of Stamford. In effect, Karen is Jim's new Stamford. She is fulfilling the same role as Stamford by giving Jim a new life, a new relationship, and a new place to hide.
Jim's emotional exodus to Karen began slowly, but has steadily increased. In PW, Jim ran to her at lightening speed and is continuing this pace in response to Roy's presence in Pam's life. Roy's attack on Jim only heightened his resolve to stay with Karen and therefore the emotional charade continues. Again, his increasingly clingy behavior towards Karen has nothing to do with growing feelings for her. He cares about her, but he can't develop strong feelings for her. Jim wants to love Karen, but his heart won't let go of Pam. His desperate attempt to love someone else is simply a manifestation of classic avoidance. He thinks if he can love Karen, (or at least convincingly feign emotional attachment) he won't have to deal with Pam.
Roy made sure that Jim remembered all the complications and pain Pam brought him over the past few years when he literally shoved Jim into the reality that there are consequences for professing and acting on his feelings for Pam. This dynamic helps Jim's ice-cold demeanor towards Pam make a little more sense. Jim isn't about to face the internal consequences of the truth after the external consequences hit him head on. The internal consequences carry a much higher level of pain than any collision with Roy. Jim simply isn't ready or willing to face the demons of the past when his "new" life is seemingly so much easier and Pam free, (not to mention Roy free). Thus, Jim retains his mode of limbo where he can shut down his emotions and remain numb as he runs towards Karen
Karen Makes Plans:
Karen prods Jim about going to a movie as he tries to wiggle out of it by bringing up his distaste for Friday night crowds. Jim is a homebody and loves his TV (if he had a life, who would watch his TV!?). Karen teases him by calling him "agoraphobic," as a means to pull him out of his shell. Jim smiles widely as he playfully responds to her jab with, "Agoraphobic? Really?" This exchange can be taken at its surface as just playful banter between Jim and Karen, but a deeper meaning can also be assessed. Jim is agoraphobic when it comes to his heart and his feelings. Right now he is hiding behind a wall that won't let him out or anyone else in, due to the fear paradox that plagues his every emotional move.
Karen continues to tease him by saying," You would rather sit on your couch and watch a Phillies game than go out with your awesome girlfriend." Jim finds comfort in someone knowing him well enough to peg him so perfectly. He playfully teases back, "Absolutely correct." Karen tells him to "suck it up," and tells him they are going out to dinner and a movie. Jim continues to smile and play along with Karen realizing it is pointless to argue with her. He responds with affirmative responses to each of her suggested activities, and finally tells her "Sounds good" as he smiles. She genuinely did change his mind by reminding him how much fun she is to hang around. Jim has mentioned before that Karen is a fun escape in A Benihana Christmas, while referring to her as a rebound.
Apparently, she continues to be a fun destination for Jim's little Pam-cation. Not only that, Karen is making Jim break out of his old self both figuratively and literally. Jim desperately wants to reinvent himself inside and out and Karen is providing the motivation and means to do so. She provides the foundation for the facade of his new life without the pain and feelings associated with Pam. She provide such a strong foundation that Jim is starting to believe he can move past Pam without actually having to deal with his broken heart.
This scene also illustrates the relative comfort and ease of Jim's relationship with Karen. Ever since Phyllis's Wedding Jim has thrown himself into Karen in response to Pam's reunion with Roy. Karen responded in kind by providing him with comfortable relationship that directly contrasts the chaos, difficulty, pain, and awkwardness that plagued Jim's "relationship" with Pam both past and present. It's no wonder he gravitates towards Karen instead of Pam. An image of Jim weighing his options immediately comes to mind. On one hand is a relationship that is comfortable and emotionally easier, while the other hand holds a relationship of heartbreak and pain. It doesn't take a genius to see why Jim is with Karen.
Jim's apparent happiness with Karen is simply a manifestation of Jim's attempt at convincing himself he made the right choice. This also explains the "closeness" that appears between Jim and Karen. Only this can't be mistaken for Jim developing strong feelings for Karen. He does like her and wants to love her, but his emotional "agoraphobic" tendencies coupled with the flame he still carries for Pam prevents this from happening. The apparent closeness is from Jim fooling himself to believe his relationship with Karen has turned into something more than a rebound. As a result, Jim is desperately trying to stoke a fire that just won't start.
Roy Attacks:
Just as Jim is enjoying the escape and comfort of his present relationship, a dose of the past interrupts as Roy walks in and hollers "Hey, Halpert." This is yet another instance of proof that Karen can't hide Jim from the inevitability of the past coming back to haunt him. Jim is literally jolted from his comfort zone and immediately puts his guard up as an angry Roy stares him down. Jim breaks eye contact and briefly looks at Pam. His eyes go to her due to his full awareness that Roy's presence is entirely about Casino Night. Jim knows that Roy knows. His quick glance is enough time to silently confirm with Pam, "So, you told him." Jim probably hoped Roy would never find out because he knew Roy could and would break every bone in his body. However, part of Jim had to know he had it coming given the fact he made a move on an engaged woman, whose fiance is a "big dude," to use Karen's words, with a temper. Plus, Jim has had experience with Roy's temper before in The Alliance when Roy pushed him off of Pam. Jim probably slept with one eye open for a while after CN. The passing of time and Jim's rapid escape from the past allowed him to relax any worries he had about Roy. He figured his secret was safe considering Roy didn't come after him up to this point, thus he completely forgot about the possibility of a butt-whooping. Now that possibility is staring him right in the face.
Jim responds to Roy's heated greeting with a cautious "Hey." He is trying to assess Roy's anger level. Is he only mad enough to yell, or is he ticked off enough to actually inflict physical harm? In effect, Jim is calculating the threat level to his well-being. Jim is also holding out hope that he's wrong about the origin of Roy's anger. It's a way out in left field hope, but he's still hoping! Jim was also careful to respond in a softer tone than Roy as an attempt to deescalate the situation. What seems like an eternity of silence follows as Jim waits for Roy's response. Roy quickly glances at Pam which doubly confirms to Jim that this is entirely about Pam.
Roy anger level becomes readily apparent as he charges Jim. Jim is absolutely terrified. His eyes double in size as he grabs Karen to push her out of they way of Roy's wrath. Jim's chivalrous actions left him virtually defenseless as Roy makes contact. Jim's arms barely let go of Karen when Roy's left arm grabbed him. The force of Roy's push swung Jim around as Roy's right arm made contact and pushed him hard into the metal shelves that flank his desk. Roy would've nailed Jim with a nasty punch if it wasn't for Dwight's handy pepper spray. Even still, Jim's collision with the metal shelf sounded painful, (it was pretty loud crash). Judging from the trajectory of Jim's body it's very likely he hit the shelf with the side of his head and shoulder. Ouch! The pepper spray didn't help either! Jim walks towards Pam's desk with his hands over his eyes in response to the pepper spray and then walks towards Karen who eventually follows him towards the back of the office.
This scene not only is action packed and tense, but it also further illustrates the contrast between Jim's relationships with Pam and Karen. The decision to be with Karen becomes further entrenched, (see above). In fact it's looking better all the time and less painful both emotionally and now physically.
Roy's attack should have been a rude awakening that Jim cannot just simply ignore Pam or the feelings he has for her without facing the past or his broken heart. Instead, it caused him to retreat even further into his fantasy world where avoidance relieves the pain and the past does not exist. The past literally came crashing into him, but Jim refuses to acknowledge the reality that the past will not simply disappear.
Toby's Statement/Jim's Talking Head:
On the following the incident, Toby and Michael engage in a conference call with Jan to discuss Roy's attack on Jim. Toby tells Jan that Jim is not going to press charges on Roy or the company. Jim has a few reasons for non-action. First, Jim doesn't want to deal with the possibility of having to explain the reason why Roy attacked him. It's too personal and too painful. He's trying to avoid CN altogether and the last thing he wants to do is discuss it with his employer. Aside, from that he's had enough of talking about it with Karen. Jim already has to face the scrutiny of his co-workers, which is already making him uneasy, (he doesn't want another day like he had in The Secret). Jim is mainly concerned with sweeping the incident under the rug and keeping it private. Secondly, Jim knows he doesn't have "clean hands" in the situation, considering he made a move on an engaged co-worker, (after hours, but on the premises - for many employers that is a no-no). Jim wants to keep that little indiscretion (and what a glorious indiscretion it was!) to himself.
Jim's talking head provides the final reason for inaction towards Roy. He says, "I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there." He's always known a confrontation could and probably would occur eventually. It was simply a question of when and how severe. Jim knows Roy is capable of beating him to a bloody pulp and doesn't dismiss the possibility. For lack of a better phrase, he knows he probably deserves it on some level. This is primarily why Jim spent the whole day trying to thank Dwight. He really did save Jim. Unfortunately, Dwight could only save Jim from imminent physical harm. Dwight's pepper spray can't rescue Jim from the internal pain of his broken heart.
In contrast to Pam, Jim is willing to talk about what happened. This is interesting in that he'll discuss it partially with the camera and he even brings it up to Dwight. When it comes to Pam, he is tight lipped. However, his recap of the incident is described in a vague manner, only referring to the aftermath. He doesn't mention Pam or the reason for Roy's attack. Jim uses his trademark humor to lighten the mood and mask his inner emotions as he pokes fun at Dwight's arsenal of desk weapons. Jim is also attempting to shift the focus to Dwight instead of himself, to avoid discussing the emotional implications of Roy's attack and the events of CN. Ever since he returned to Scranton, the camera has frequently asked Jim about Pam and he doesn't want to get stuck in that corner again.
Break Room:
Jim walks into the break room as Pam sits alone with her coffee and a newspaper. Jim walks right by her without acknowledging her presence. He probably would've avoided the break room if he knew she was there, but he probably didn't see her sitting there until it was too late to turn around. Jim immediately goes into self-preservation mode by enacting total avoidance. Ignoring Pam may prevent a conversation from taking place. Jim doesn't want to talk about Roy, the attack, and most of all the reason for the attack: Casino Night. The topic is difficult all on its own, but Pam as a conversation partner is the bigger problem for Jim.
Pam's reunion with Roy at Phyllis's cut him deep and he's still hurting, (see PW analysis for the reasons why!). Jim has been avoiding Pam ever since, thus numbing the pain. Talking to Pam about anything Roy related is simply not an option, regardless of the fact that Roy's attack is at the forefront of both Jim and Pam's thoughts. It'll dredge up the broken heart Jim is unwilling and even unable to face at this point in time. Jim is trying to extricate the complication and chaos of Pam along with his feelings for her from his life. His relationship with Karen has failed to completely shield him from the pain that still plagues him. The only viable option Jim can fathom is to ignore Pam. The logic being if he ignores her, the pain will go away. Unfortunately for Jim, Pam refuses to be ignored.
Jim walks up to vending machine and continues to keep his back turned to Pam. Pam apologizes, "Sorry I almost got you killed." His disregard for her presence failed to fend off the dreaded conversation. Jim feels cornered and is looking for a way to end the conversation before it goes any further. Jim is noticeably uncomfortable and nervous as he shifts his weight. He chooses his words carefully, "Yeah. That was nuts." He chuckled slightly out of nervousness but also as a means to lighten the tense atmosphere. Jim is also attempting to mask his emotions by referring to his reaction in an indifferent yet somewhat humorous way. His slight infusion of humor is in response to Pam's use of humor. Jim's statement is his way of telling Pam "I don't want to talk about it." It's a close ended statement that doesn't need Pam to answer him back. Jim keeps his back turned to Pam as he drops coins into the vending machine. He is hoping his signal was enough to ward off Pam, but she continues, "He could have broken your nose or something. Crazy." Jim remains silent in hopes that a non-response will clue Pam in that he's not interested in discussing Roy's attack. He shifts his weight again as a result of his discomfort.
It feels like Pam is cornering him and it's pushing him further into a self defense mode. Jim's silence is a perfect example of the fortress that currently surrounds him. His wall simply won't let Pam get anywhere near him. However, his wall is showing signs of weakness. The shifting weight and discomfort comes not only from Jim's reluctance to discuss his feelings, but the anxiousness he feels from the internal struggle between his head and his heart. His head is outright refusing to allow Jim to enter into this conversation, while his heart is screaming at him to turn around and talk to Pam. Part of him is dying to turn around. Jim traditionally fidgets and shifts his weight when his emotions get the best of him and this time is no different.
As a result, Pam's next comments catch Jim completely off guard. Pam brings up the worst possible topic, "It's just so stupid. I mean getting back with Roy and everything." The camera shows Pam and part of Jim, but it's highly symbolic of Jim's attention level. Just as the camera is focused on her, so is Jim despite his turned back. He is listening to her intently even though he doesn't want to. Nobody spends this much time at a vending machine! Pam tries to pull Jim into the conversation by asking him, "What was I thinking, right?" Jim stands stoically and silent as stares at the vending machine, only he's not contemplating a snack purchase. Pam literally knocked the wind out of him. She managed to find his sore spot and hit it hard. The "pull" in his chest probably made it difficult to breath. Pam asked the very question Jim asked himself when he saw her leave with Roy in PW. He wants to know the answer, but he just can't let himself be pulled into Pam's world again. Jim is overwhelmed with trying to hold his emotions back. He is literally in panic mode as he bottles up his emotions.
His internal struggle is again revealed via fidgeting as his finger fiddles with the top of the vending machine. His back remains turned to her so she can't see his reaction. Jim is fighting the impulse to turn around and talk to Pam. However, he knows turning around will cause his wall crumble his wall. Pam has once again managed to find a weak spot in his protective barrier, the same way she did in Phyllis's Wedding, Ben Franklin, The Return, Traveling Salesmen (newpeat), Back From Vacation and A Benihana Christmas, (see corresponding updates for further info). By admitting her own stupidity in returning to Roy, Pam managed to tap into Jim's well hidden hope, (remember the hope he toyed with in his "hypothetical" TH in Phyllis's Wedding?). This scares Jim and it causes him to build up his defenses and kick his self preservation up a notch. He does all he knows to do; hide behind his wall and shut down his emotions. Jim finally pulls himself together and says, "No, you guys really seem to have a strong connection." It hurt him to say this. As soon as the words flew out of his mouth he wanted to take them back. Jim knows the "connection" is between himself and Pam, he just won't admit it to himself. He doesn't even want to believe it. However, his self-preservation mode won't let him feel this for too long.
Jim is desperate to wiggle out of the conversation. If he lets Pam confide in him he will lose the comfort his fantasy world provides. The world he's fooled himself into believing exists -- a world without Pam. Jim [i] finally [i] makes his snack selection, as Pam makes one final attempt to draw Jim into her corner, "It's, um, completely over now." Jim has another brief moment of heartache, as Pam has prodded his hope once again. He knows he needs to get out of there fast, so Jim quickly shuts down emotionally and resorts the same chuckle he started with for, "We'll see." He needs some humor at this point, so he pokes fun at Pam's supposed single status. Inside he's telling himself, "Whatever, I've heard this before." Jim has to force himself to believe it isn't over with Roy. Otherwise, the hope he's kept buried since Phyllis's Wedding will eat him alive.
Furthermore, Jim doesn't want to set himself up for another emotional pitfall. He can't allow himself to be sucked into Pam and Roy again. He's been through this song and dance before and just doesn't have the strength to go through it again. The devastation of Pam's reunion with Roy caused him to readjust her role in his life and he's found a comfort zone that doesn't include her. Pam's single status threatens to bring her back into his life and Jim is trying to prevent this from occurring. He goes on to tell her, "I'm sure you guys'll find your way back to one another someday." Jim needs to put Pam back with Roy so he can walk away from her.
It's clear his heart isn't in the words he spoke as they are mechanical and forced. He hangs his head briefly after saying it, knowing full well it isn't the truth. His heart refuses to believe Pam and Roy belong together. It's a clever line on the writer's part, as we all sit and wait for Jim and Pam to find their way to one another!
Jim turns to leave, still aching to get out of the situation, when Pam calls his name. Pam looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I am really sorry. . . " The camera doesn't reveal Jim's expression, but it's obvious Pam's apology hit him right between the eyes. His wall, however, prevents him from feeling the full impact. Jim was close to melting. In true self defense fashion, he interrupts her before she can go any further, "Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it." It's his way of telling her to drop it while telling himself "don't let her in." Pam's apology may have bounced off the wall, but it left one heck of dent.
With Karen in the Kitchen:
Jim's frustration with Dwight continues throughout the day. He vents his frustration to Karen while snacking on carrots (the man loves his carrots!) in the kitchen, "It's like when he annoys me, and I want to screw with him to get him back. He never sees it coming. But now, I want to be nice to him, and actually give him something, and he's like an eel. I just can't grab onto him. It's infuriating." Pam would usually be Jim's confidant in all things Dwight. However, Jim has chosen to shift all his attention to Karen, and therefore she becomes his sounding board for the irritation Dwight incites. However, Karen is indifferent. She doesn't understand Jim's problem as where Pam would be on the same page as Jim.
This same dynamic existed in The Return when Jim asked her to prank Andy and she refused. Pam didn't hesitate, fully understanding Jim's need to prank. In this situation, Pam would know exactly what to say, but Jim obviously won't seek Pam out. Karen isn't sure how to advise so she suggests, "Maybe you just feel guilty about all the pranks." Jim agrees, but only half-heartedly. He smiles, because he can't help but be amused with everything he's done to Dwight. He asks Karen, "So, what do I do?" Karen responds, "Hmmmmm, I don't know. Maybe you should go back out there and sell some paper so we an go on a trip."
Jim finds humor in the jab, but it leaves him frustrated. Karen was easy to talk to but she failed to make him feel better. He lets out a frustrated vocal inflection that is nearly identical to the one he released in The Return as she walks out. Karen just doesn't "get" him. But, Jim is so caught up in the relationship with her he isn't impacted as deeply as he was in The Return. He's willing to look past it to keep his escape in place.
In an interesting parallel, Roy tells Pam he doesn't "get" her in the coffee shop. It goes to show that Jim is the only one who totally "gets" Pam and Pam is the only one who "gets" Jim. It's only a matter of time before they find their way back to one another.
Roy Apologizes:
As expected, Roy comes by to collect his check. On his way towards accounting, Roy stops by Jim and says, "Hey mam, I'm sorry." Jim doesn't respond verbally, but his facial expression lets Roy know he accepts his apology and that there's no hard feelings. Jim knows they both have dirt on their hands in the situation.
The Bottom Line:
The past is catching up to Jim despite his best efforts to move on with Karen. His wall may be blocking Pam, but it is also locking him out from himself. As a result, his emotions have nothing else to do but fester and build up until they are overwhelming. Perhaps, the wall will be knocked down from the inside, rather than the outside. Pam is ahead of Jim in that she has achieved emotional honesty. Hopefully, Jim will learn by example.
- - -
Questions to Ponder:
1) Does everyone in the office know why Roy attacked Jim?
2) Was Jim's behavior in the break room understandable and acceptable? Are you mad at him? Should Pam be mad at him?
3) Should Jim have pressed charges against Roy?
4) Did Karen know about Pam and Roy's previous status before of after Roy's attack on Jim?
5) Who is the most guilty of wrongdoing: Jim, Roy, or Pam?
Chapter End Notes:
Commonly Used Acronyms:
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
PD = Pam Dichotomy,
JP = Jim Paradox,
CN = Casino Night,
FNB = Fancy New Beesly,
QTP = Questions to Ponder
This post was written nine years ago so go easy on me in terms of writing style! I’ve decided not to revise the original posts beyond filling in missing words or fixing wayward punctuation. Call it nostalgia if you will, but there’s something to be said for preserving this little snapshot of fandom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
